Monday, December 08, 2008

All I Want For Chrithmathhhh...

Monday, December 08, 2008

Ever heard that song? I don't even know who sang could either have been a little boy/girl, and it's sung with an obvious lisp...hence, "all i want for xmas is my two front teeth..."

Dunno why I suddenly thought of that!

These days, I feel a wee bit nostalgic. Found some old friends via Facebook...reminisced, planned a reunion (which I think will not happen due to clashing schedules), telling each other how good we are looking, etc...end of story! Next...

So, mom tells me we (all of us-sisters, mom and dad!) might be going to the Philippines next May...I hope! I really hope this happens as it will be the first time my sisters and I will be going's always a plan that never happens, and I wish it would be realized this time. I just know once I go to the place where i've come from (half of me, lol!), i'll be more grateful, and instantly gain a little more wisdom.

I've always been fascinated to know where I came from...

On my mom's side, there are no worries, coz she knows everything...she knows all her relatives, like...say...her cousins thrice removed...and maybe more!

My dad, however...what a disappointment! No knowledge of his mother tongue, culture...which leaves me lost! I'm trying to trace our origins on my paternal ancestors' side, but I fail because I find out that grandad changed his name when he came to this country...and my dad didn't really know his extended family coz his parents didn't really make it a point to be a close-knit family...and me being so curious, I ask tons of questions but get no answers. So, here I am...lost!

Don't you ever get fascinated with your background? If I had the means, I would deffo check my genealogy...interesting stuff! I get so jealous when some peeps just know everything about their family tree, and I'm like, "Huh? Gee, I know nothing about half of my heritage! Hmmph, show-off!"


Sunday, December 07, 2008

Sprinkle Some Fairydust For Happiness...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

I'm such a sucker for fairytales...yes, yes...those who know me can't vouch for what I just proclaimed...I seem like such a realist bitch! Ok, I get it...maybe I am, but to a degree. Coz when I see a movie that talks about happy endings, falling in love, kissing with fireworks, music when you meet the one you love...sigh, what an escape it gives you!

I'm not saying that i'm gonna hear music when I kiss 'the one', but it's nice to think that maybe there is someone out there for me...someone who GETS you, understands you even when you're talking in circles...someone who you can't stop thinking about...someone who gives you the feeling of butterflies in your stomach...someone you CLICK with! That's what i'm looking for! That's it!

An a-ha moment!!!

And another thing...for all the 'almosts' (i've had two or three...not many. Hah, i can't think of anyone who knows this...OMG! I'm too secretive!):

  • With every one of those 'almosts', i've never felt anything more than 'like' was always more of an 'ok, i'll try...', which is BAD!
  • Once I knew I don't click with them, it's "Buhbye"...I don't like wasting my time with nothingness
  • I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't love
  • All of the 'almosts'...they are the ones who call...I have never called them. I don't mean i'm a cheapo tryin' to cut cost on calls, I mean that I never felt the intent to call them...
  • I know what I wanted all along...and they weren't it
So, it's not like I didn't try, it's just that they weren't the right fit, get it? It didn't have to take long to know...but sometimes it's just a gut feeling (which I didn't have).

I'm not even looking for Mr. Right...i'm just looking for Mr. Right-for-the-moment...just someone I could experience this stage of my life with...then when we grow apart, just repeat the cycle until I miraculously find Mr.'s realistic and idealistic at the same time...hah! Take that!

Oh my God...where could he be? In the other side of the world or right at the corner? Under what circumstances do we meet?

Friday, December 05, 2008

It's Confirmed! 2008 Sucks!!!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Yep...indeed it is! My mom's not gonna be here this frickin' Christmas! She goes to East Malaysia for a month on the 13 of December...OMG, she's not even gonna be here on New Year's Eve!

I'm hating xmas already...

How am I gonna cope? My poor baby sis, though...well, my poor mom's gonna be posted somewhere during the holidays, without her family. I so hate "the office" right now you have no idea. She even has to work OT (without the OT pay) since they got "new management"...I mean, isn't there labor laws regarding this? Hmmmpphh!!!

Just feeling bitter that my mom can't be here with also doesn't help much to realize that you haven't gone anywhere to's all like a big blur right now. And mom is constantly unwell. This, i dunno...this year sucks, actually. I really pray that the next year would be my...i mean OUR year! I need some happy endings in my life. And so far, it's unhappy endings all the way. Just goes to show that you don't always get what you want!

I would lastly like to reiterate...


Thank you!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What Would You Do?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What would you do if you were on a month's vacation out of uni, had no money, and your friends are busy with work or college?

I don't!

So i have a few books to that all i'm gonna do this time?

Plus! This just in: My mom's been posted in Sabah from the 15th of December-15th of January yet again!!! You know what that means, right?

No Christmas Eve, no Christmas spirit, no New Year's Eve...nada! Ok, it's better for the parents' finances coz it'll pay for the xmas extras. I've said many times to them that "I'm all for it!"...well, i was/am just being a good sport...I mean, it's a good thing...but I can't be selfish by showing my unhappiness. I just can't do that! Even my two youger sisters do not feel like I do, I can tell...

So why am I feeling this way? Maybe because my mom was the one who took care of me throughout my childhood (unlike my two siblings) middle sis was taken care of by a nanny since she was six or so...and the baby? Well, now it's dad's turn to be Mr. Mom. My dad was always the one who went to diff locations for work.

It's like the two switched places, which is funny. My dad works nights now. It's a family effort when it comes to taking care of we all have our share of responsibilities. C'mon, i'm 21, and my middle sister is's so much fun, no complaints there...

Looking at my baby sister, it's like...I dunno. Sometimes I feel like it's surreal, maybe it's all a dream. It's like having a bundle of joy...or your very own living doll at home. I tell you, if it wasn't for baby A, we wouldn't be half as close as we are now. My middle sis' shenanigans have ceased to zilch, my dad has mellowed from his strict exterior, now showcasing a soft mom? Whoah, she's a tiger now! Lol! Maybe the last two scenarios are brought on by hormones.

Back to the title...

What the heck am I supposed to do during this time off? Is this a foreshadow of a sucky xmas? Geez, the possibility of my mom not being here is already giving me a glimpse of a not-so-happy xmas! And New Year!

Shit!!! will be my 22nd New Year (21st, technically)...OMG, why does time have to go on quickly? I didn't even have fun this year...I thought time flies when you're having fun?

And there's your whiny post, yet again. Til I get in the xmas spirit, I will not post another happy post! Feel free to pour in words of affirmations!

Toodlez, bitches!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Packin' Up & Goin' Home...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A bittersweet feeling occurs when times like these pass...

It's not that I don't wanna go home, but it's more like, "What have I really done or achieved in the past semester?"

It's more like a surge of missing the past...yeah, in the moment, you don't feel it. But when it's time to pack up, you tend to look back and reminisce...then, you sigh at how quick time slips through your fingers; causing you to think about the way you wasted it on idleness...

Emoting? Maybe...

But there sure is truth in it.

Plans for the holidays? I sure as hell hope that I can use the time to meet up with lost contacts...and I hope I do not use stupid reasons such as "lack of ca$h" and "busy with babysitting my sister"...UNACCEPTABLE!!!

I will make time! I will have fun coz I have the right to be happy (as one of my fave lecturers keep telling us). Yes...I do have the right to be happy. Perhaps some ME-time won't be so bad, right?

Okay...done with the emo thing...back to business.

How do I pack these stuff in my dorm already? Shit!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Shit, can I just say shit all over my blog?





The end!

Just some shitty (no pun intended) motif for you to enjoy while I use the term as a way to blow some steam...hahahaha...blow! ROFL...

This just in: I'm goin'!

Like you didn't know!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Thomas & Friends...AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Okay, okay...since having a baby sister (who now is a TV addict), we have re-subscribed to the Disney package - Disney channel, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Playhouse Disney. My sis' fave? Playhouse Disney of course...they did good with this channel. The demographics would be the toddlers and infants. The colors are just a feast for a kid's eyes...

So, i'm now one of those peeps who sings those songs I hate just to entertain little A...but one thing I can't stand...those hideous trains from Sodor...those botox-ed faces with wandering eyes...

Hearing the intro for the show, the song is an OK kids' show song...but the characters? OMG! Scary as hell!!!

Well, those kids might beg to sis...she loves them scary mo'fos. Just seeing Thomas (and his stupid friends) make me shudder...look!

Tell me to my face he ain't scary!

Well...what about his friends?

Nothing on their faces moves, except their pupils...I wonder why those kids aren't scared. Just like I wonder why in hell do they love that purple dinosaur...
Yeah, you know who i'm talking about...I can recall that I never liked these characters when I was little...hah! A born cynic...
Cute characters, IMHO are Elmo, Pooh and friends...that famous mouse, however...annoying!

M-M-M-My Sharona!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Don't know why but I really really love that song!'s My Sharona from The Knack, baby!

Well, with my dad being a musician, i am exposed to songs from way back before I was even born...

But this song, I knew and grew to love after watching this movie, which I must say is one of my fave MTV-era movies of all time. Some of you may or may not like it, but spawned the one hit wonder that is 'Stay' by Lisa Loeb, which I love too!

If you still didn't guess it (you're a dud!)'s 'Reality Bites' of course!!!

Something about the pre-kleptomanic Wynona that screams was hard not to love her character. And what about pre-Uma Ethan Hawke? Do I even have to add to that? Umm, guess not...he was the ultimate tortured Yesss! Annoying? Double yess!!! But it all made sense, and the story is one that i'll always love.

Hahhh...the memories...the '90s. Oh, man I've got to do an entry about the '90s! Being but a young'un during the era of grunge, still pristine-MTV, where no respected rapper will even consider 'Sweat drip down my balls!' as part of a was a hell of a decade! But maybe i'm just biased!

Why am I talking about this already?

Oh, yeah...M-M-M-My Sharona!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Law of Attraction and Manifestations...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hahaha, reading about The Secret tells me that I have somehow acquired this special ability...I didn't know about this "secret" until a few hours ago, after stumbling on Oprah's website (accidentally...)

I have actually gained some material items by sheer will...examples:
  • Got into a university = education that I can afford, without burdening my parents
  • Won some stuff that I really really REALLY wanted - Sony mp3 Walkman, tickets to a concert, perfume for my mother...hope there's more to come!
  • Really wanted a laptop...and got one (I'm not rich, so getting one for free...nice!)
  • Really wanted something that would increase happiness within my family - my baby sister! C'mon, you gotta admit...a gap of 17-years between children is somewhat amazing!
  • Things that seems sucky always make way for better does!

Well, that being said...I should try to be more optimistic...and perhaps build on something bigger:

  • I always wanted to do something significant in this world...something good, as a way to show gratitude for all the good things that come
  • I also really want that feeling you get when you're in know, the whole butterflies in your stomach thing...
  • I want to travel...I couldn't say this enough! Please let this happen...I want to be a worldly person and experience different cultures
  • I want to learn to least before I leave this world...being afraid of drowning prohibits this...a pity!
  • I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO STUDY WITHOUT FAILING. Case in point: the fact that i'm updating my blog, and not reading my notes is proof enough, isn't it!

This is how distraction manifests...

Any comments? Do tell...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

WTF? Christmas Is Coming Already?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It's now the 12th of November...


Just yesterday, I was registering for my 3rd semester...2nd year of uni. AND NOW? It is almost coming to an end. Christmas is upon us too...

What? Christmas?

I'm like 'Wtf?' over here...listening to Dave Koz & Friends : The Christmas Album or something like that. Hahaha, as much as i'd like to NOT admit it, listening to Christmas songs get me in the holiday mood...just puts me in a better mode. Makes me a tad more optimistic, gives me some hope for better days...

Oh, man...looking back, i find that my year hasn't really been a good one. Okay, so family-wise, it's great! But personally, my year was (and still is) boring. All I did was study, stay home...once in a while, I go out for a movie with friends. How pathetic is that?

I'm 21...and i'm freakin' boring! HAHAHAHA...that's rich! I have all this thoughts, plans, dreams...and I do it in the confines of the four walls that surround me (house, college dorm, class, etc).

I guess i'm waiting for the time when I get the chance to travel the world. Experience true freedom...or at least some of it! Why do I feel trapped all of a sudden? Maybe because I am? Between responsibilities at home, and at school...what have I got? Nil...

As I attempt to study for a test later in the day...I suddenly dream of taking ballroom dancing lessons...I would love to learn to salsa..woohoo! Then maybe i'll achieve 0%! That'll be great...

Is what i'm writing even making any sense? From xmas, i went to boredom, then to my procrastination...and now, dancing? I think my head is overloaded with useless junk. The stuff I need to read-up on ain't goin' in...Shit, what am I gonna do?

Years of multi-tasking have done damage to my head, I tell ya! Damage!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

The Pain & Other Distractions

Sunday, November 09, 2008

I'm gonna start whining again (like as if I do anything else!)...

I have an impacted wisdom tooth...OMG, the pain is too annoying! Two wisdom teeth erupted from my gums around a month or two months back. That wasn't a problem. I even took preventive measures to hinder any gum infection. Flossed, brushed more than twice a day, used Listerine...I am a freak when it comes to cleaning my teeth actually, sometimes it's scary how I fuss over them.

My wisdom tooth on my top jaw is fine (don't wanna jinx it though!)...grew without a prob. The bottom one, however...OMG. It grew, alright. The problem is, it didn't cut through the whole way. Only 3/4 of the tooth seemed to be 'out'...the rest is still under a gum flap.

The gum flap is a serves as a source of pain, and though it hasn't been infected by any infection (???) as of yet...I can't be sure it could last long. The pain is probably coz the upper tooth hits the gum flap when I chew...and now, it has a partner in jaw! Damn jaw is painful...probably because I keep opening my mouth to check on that fuckin' tooth all the way back.

Now I can't open it anymore...well, not exactly...I still can open it big enough to eat. Need a dentist asap! Will probably go in the morning, but's kinda scary considering I have exams the next morning! SHIT!!!

I have an assignment which isn't done yet...i'm scared! Hope that I finish it soon, as the due date is on the 19th. Sometimes home acts as an ENABLER to my addictions...TV & WiFi! And of course, the never-ending distractions--baby, food, chores, TV & WiFi! Just when I think I could study and/or finish an assignment...Damn!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Inspired by Humility - Obama!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I would like to congratulate the US of A on Obama's win. OMG, he won with such grace, that I somehow felt so thrilled for the Americans...


To see how he played down the fact that;
  • The first African-American man (well...half) has become the Commander in Chief AND
  • The fact that the Democrats now hold more seats in the Congress

...has made me respect him even more. It's formidable that a poll by CNN showed that it wasn't about race. It shows that the color of your skin surpasses everything. It's amazing, considering the history of the African-Americans; slavery, discrimination, no voting rights, the KKK...think about what Dr. Martin Luther King would say if he was alive! This is a full circle right here!

His speech also was a reminder that this win is NOT the victory they are talking about...this, as Obama said, was JUST a stepping stone to a bigger purpose. I think, he comes from a background that makes him understand the hardships of the average American family. He keeps talking about 'the people', which is good. He talks about working together with the people, even extending a hand to the GOP and its supporters...praising his adversary, McCain...

Grace, baby...grace is what he has!

I spotted a crying Rev. Jesse Jackson and Oprah in the crowd. Don't know what it is, but Obama's speeches tend to strike a chord with the people...heck, even I felt chills hearing it.

Although i'm nowhere near the US, i am still happy for the American people, and wish her luck for the change that Obama promises...i await for the betterment of your healthcare, your school system, your spreading of the wealth...your image in the global arena. I hope that he WILL get the job done, and not just be another disappointment.

US affects the world...whether we like it or not, many countries are interdependent...and USA is the center of these interlocking states.

I'm guessing everyone felt a bit like an American today! Why would we feel so happy then? Maybe it's because it inspires us...makes me wonder how long will my own country be this way...i'm just saying:

We have a long way to go before we get to where America is. Maybe we wouldn't even get there. We are too self-involved to be selfless, to corrupt than preoccupied with preserving the status quo than to be going forward. This, my friends will remain the shackles that will forever hold us on a cyclical position...a never-ending cycle of insecurities, prejudices and containment of the minds...we have many, many, many years to go!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Why Am I Wasting Time Updating this Blog? Coz I'm A Dreamer!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Why; the ultimate question for the ultimate time of tension...

I don't know, actually...guess i'm taking a break from all the shit!!!

I somehow need to step away from reality for doing something non-academic. There's even things going on at home. My whole family are just too busy nowadays...know the last time I went out with friends? A few months back. How pathetic is that? Well, enough of all the shitty self-pity. Let me blog about fun things!

Well, here...the following list are stuff i wanna do in the future. Believe me when i say it'll deffo be updating it as time goes by. Here goes:
  • I want to travel to France - have the ultimate cup of coffee in a small bistro in Paris, looking at the Eiffel Tower, eat great French cuisine in a posh French restaurant

  • I want to go through the the ultimate love story - with a happy ending

  • I want to enjoy a picnic in Central Park

  • I want to celebrate New Year's Eve in Times Square, NYC

  • I want to go to Tuscany and stay in a beautiful Italian villa and enjoy a view of a luscious vineyard with wonderful wine and pasta made by the locals

  • I want to visit Amsterdam and go cycling, and try some legal green!

  • I want to drive through the Vegas desert in a red convertible...and put my head in the air and feel the breeze

  • I want to be rich and personally go to the African region and open up schools for boys and girls, with 50:50 ratio...i would recommend that boys take lessons on Respect for Women. The girls; studies in feminism

  • I want to find my life's purpose

  • I want to take up classical piano...and finish it this time!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Where Do We Go From Here?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'm serious when I say I don't know where i'm and by, I keep wondering where do I go...what will I do...will I ever be happy in my life?

Then I get in panic-mode.

I mean, do you even know that what you plan will happen? Sometimes, circumstances or detours can get you elsewhere, you know? I've heard of people planning their whole life, and getting to a totally different they would've never expected!

I don't even know what to write about...i'm in a state of emoting, haha!

Exams are coming...Monday! And i've yet to read up on it. Wtf!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Once a Cynic...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Should I change? I mean from being a cynic to being a very shiny, happy person. I don't seems that there are lots of happy peeps around me. Heck, I even joined this club (which shall not be named), and all the whille I was there, I kept thinking "OMG, this is a cult, isn't it?"

But it's not, was just filled with overly-enthusiastic people who did all they can to make everyone feel like a close-knit group...which I thought, "Man, isn't this rich!"

I got out.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I be one of those guys who can just sit back and enjoy stuff like this? I envy people who put their heart and soul into things. Instead, i'm one of those guys who keep sneering at the 'fun and games' they keep organizing.

Okay, okay...I wasn't the only one who thought what I thought...but I don't wanna keep being this way, coz in the will be rather dull, won't it?

I talked about this to a friend the other day...asked me if i really wanted to change...I said no! So, there...go figure!

I think i'm a schizo...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Love These Songs...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My favorite songs of all time...not all though (just some that I could think about at the top of my head). The first three of them are kinda dark, lyrically:

I love love love this band's album...Lemon Parade! It's great! And only recently, I found out that their song 'Mr. Golden Deal' was a sort of continuation of 'If You Could Only See'; the latter was written by lead singer Emerson Hart as a way of convincing his mom about the love he has found with his girlfriend...years later, after their marriage...she leaves him for another man. 'Mr. Golden Deal' is a song written to the man who got her in the end (WOW!!!)

  • NEVER TOO LATE by Three Days Grace

I love this song. If you hear it at first, it would seem that it was written to a significant other. The second time I listened to it, I realized that it's not about that at all. The song is about suicide, perhaps he, the singer is convincing a suicidal friend that he/she can turn things around...that's it's never too late to change your life...even though the world wasn't what you expected in the's a sad song, yet, at the same time it gives you a hint of optimism and hope.

  • JUMPER by Third Eye Blind

Well, do not be put off by my seemingly dark choices of songs with suicidal undertones. This song is also about suicide. Unlike 'Never Too Late', 'the Jumper' does jump from the ledge...or so I've heard. This song was a supposed 'what I would've said to my friend (the jumper) if I was there' by the singer who lost a friend to suicide.

  • HURT by NIN

I've talked about this song before...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm Asked, 'Comment passez-vous votre week-end?'

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Yay, it's over...French speaking test is over! That was so anti-climactic, really...your tension, stress and anxiety builds, and builds, and builds...

My answer to the above question was (please disregard the bad spelling and/or grammar...i'm just a n00b) :

Me: Le week-end, je me promene dans le parc, je faire de la faire de la

Le professeur: Do you go out during lunch-time? (sorry, i dunno how to write his part in

Me: Non...parce que je...

Le professeur: Oh, cook! Ok, ok! What else? Where do you swim, in a pool, in a lake? Any other sports?

Me: Oh, je faire de la natation a la piscine. Je faire du badminton avec ma soeur.

Le professeur: Do you wake up late on the weekends?

Me: Non, parce que j'ai une seour bebe...(in a 'so you know how it is' kinda way...)

Le professeur: Do you sleep late?

Me: me couche a deux heures...

Le professeur: Douze heures?

Me: Non...deux heures...

Le professeur: Douze heures?


Le Professeur: Douze??? Minuit???

Me: Oui... (I give up!!! I meant 2 in the morning actually! Deux heures du matin!!!)

And the saga continues...a little better than the previous dialogue, heheh!

Then, when the time is're like: Was that it?

So yeah, it's what?

Hahaha, the way of life! No matter what, everything will pass. In no time, you look back to discover that it wasn't so bad as you thought it was (at that particular time). Maybe you'll even sit and laugh about it. That is my outlook on unfortunate events. I think that sorta takes me to a better mindset, place and it soothes my mind, body and soul (wow...deep!)

At this very moment, i'm reminiscing about all the times I felt disappointed, all the times I felt depressed, lonely, lazy, happy, sad, angered...and all I can do is laugh about it!

Funny, isn't it? This life...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Oh Baby, Oh Baby...Then it Fell Apart!!!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

4 out of 7 assignments more presentations! Hurray!!! What's left, you ask...1 French quiz, followed by French listening exam & French oral test. The 3 unfinished assignments are;
  • Methodology in International Relations
  • Foreign Policy Theories
  • French II

I must say...never thought i'd finish...but if I don't, i'll be pretty much dead, won't I? Hahaha...

I'd usually be home during the weekends, but this time, I opted to stay because:

(a) I have a 6-hour replacement class on Sunday (6 freakin hours, dude!!! 6 HOURS!!!)

(b) Attempting to do my assignments at home is like trying to fit a Titanic ship into your could NOT be done! (external factors: TV, being a clown for a 1-year old,


(c) Wanna cram at least 1/10 of my lessons into my brain!

(d) Revise for French test on Monday & Tuesday

Could this happen? Perhaps...I WILL NOT GET OUT OF THIS ROOM for unnecessary things...But now, i'm downloading shit...awww hot damn!!! Can you blame me? I need a break, but can't! I can hereby testify that...

My plan fell apart!!! (Cue to Moby's 'Extreme Ways', 2nd ed...)

How predictable.

Thursday, October 09, 2008


Thursday, October 09, 2008

caught the flu from my baby sis during the weekend...then on Monday, the flu just wouldn't budge...waited till Tuesday to go to the clinic. Just your average appointment. Then, the doc asked, "Do you have any allergies?"...i said no.


What i should've done was to inform him that i had a family history of allergies to certain types of grandpa was allergic to Tylenol, my mom to Aspirin...and i have the same blood group as them. And so, the humor begins...

Being a sucker for misfortune, i opted to take the antibiotic at once, so in case i have an allergic reaction, i'm right here at the clinic, right? Pop in the pill...and hey, i'm ok! So i get on to my other class.

A few hours later, i'm still alright...

A few hours after that, my face feels tight, and hot...saw my neck was puffy...then, i saw my face area was kinda big...was it possible to have an allergic reaction to something around 7 hours later? So i thought the rash was due to heat from the broken fever...possible, right?

At night, I saw that my face was still puffy...then concluded that it's probably an allergy to that damn Bacampicillin...i am therefore allergic to Penicillin, the accidental drug! WTF!!! I HAVE ANGIOEDEMA!!!

Immediately took a Piriton to ease the itch, and took Bena Expectorant, my cough medicine (thinking it would have the same effect as Benadryl...does it?), coz that's the only thing i have. I am in my dorm...there's no luxury of going and buying OTC meds here.

The next morning, the swelling extended to my eyelid, but it wasn't swollen-shut or anything serious. Friends thought i had gone fat during the holidays...thing is, if I did, everything else would be fat EXCEPT my face...i'm more of a get-fat-in-your-thighs-and-tummy kind of girl.
So teased by friends, and now i'm swearing of that damn Penicillin, maybe Aspirin and Tylenol too...

Lucky for me, i didn't suffer any chronic time, my mom's air passage closed-up after taking a certain prescription...that was a horror!

For now, there's still some puffiness on my cheek area...hope it'll go away a.s.a.p.!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

What's Up?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

In all my life, i am the type that appreciates whatever 'chance' i get...and boy, if i had a nickel for every time i thanked God for the things i have; family, friends, things...i'll be set for life!

But one thing still creeps in my head...when will i be able to say that i have truly spent my life without fear, with pursuing what i really want? I'm afraid i can't, because the truth is...i don't know what i'm searching for.

Ever had that feeling? Sometimes, people just know what it is they are here for...they know that they are doing what they want...and i'm jealous of these people who just have the privilege to KNOW what they want...coz, boy...i sure don't!

I hate that i feel this way...i don't even know if i am what i wanna be.

Argghhh, why so emo?

And another thing...people keep asking me "Do you have a boyfriend yet?"

Why does society force the idea of 'having a bf is what you need...' into my freakin' head? I keep saying i haven't found the right guy yet...and they say, "You poor thing!"

I hate that! Why, why, why do i need sympathy? I don't have one...and that ain't a why do you think it is, huh?

I gotta tell ya, that JFK was one smart Mr. Prez...he said that "Conformity is the jailer of freedom", and that applies to this please, don't feel sorry for me, or think that i'm playing for 'the other team'...having love in your life would be great, and i look forward to it...but why, oh why would i wanna be so desperate?

If it comes, it comes...but if it doesn't, so what?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pour Qoi?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

You know, when you're alone...then you start thinking about your future, and what it may bring...well, I thought that my future was set, that I was going for the 'diplomatic corps' route...BUT...boy, am i wrong!

Firstly, I don't freakin' know how I got this way. Now all I can say is that i'm so freakin' confused as to what i'm gonna do with my future...Be a writer? Journalist? Anchorwoman (haha!)? TV personality (double haha!)?


Why is this happening? I know this happens to everyone, but i have a few justifications; they are mostly based on principles...

As you know, Malaysia is up for a very cloudy phase...political stability is definitely OUT! They (some of them...) keep forgeting the reason they were elected in the first place---to serve the people! I wouldn't want to join something which I don't believe in anymore...sad, but true!

I pray that my country's integrity will return to what it was; stable, peaceful, economically solid...cause it would be a pity to see decades of hard work go down the drain. Personal agendas are taking priority over social ills, poverty, education...insecurities taking over peaceful co-existence...racial bigotry being swept under the rug...corruption...innocent bystanders persecuted...I really don't understand it anymore.

Perhaps i'm sad because most of all...I believe we are better as one. Too bad some just do not see it the way we, most of the nation do...tant pis!

I would be better off in the dog eat dog world of the corporate least in this world, you know the rules, the gains, the losses...what you see is what you get!

So...what am i waiting for? I would say, a sign...and not those 'subtle inner voices' Oprah keeps talking about...I mean a brick to my head kinda sign! An 'a-ha moment' wouldn't be too bad, please please let me get it...AND SOON!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

To Kill that Fuckin' Brontok, I'll Need A Pair...Made of Steel!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I don't know how I got it...supposedly, people get it from e-mail attachments, but who the hell cares? It got into my system, it fucked up my files, toyed with my settings, and fucked-up my week!


"Wtf? Wtf? Wtf?"...that's what I kept asking myself all week...then my mom left for work in Sabah...for a month, no less! Could things get any worse?

Oh, it can...Murphy's Law at its best...

Next thing you know, the PC at home got ruined for God knows what reason!!!

I willed myself NOT to cry...and what I ended up doing was laughing my ass off...telling myself that 'that week' was the worst week ever...

I think one day, I will definitely look back at that week and laugh my ass off...AGAIN!

What did I do about Brontok-the-mo'fo'? I researched all I could bout it, and armed myself with the necessary tools...killers, anti-this, and anti-that...but what happened was, Brontok detects all the relevant words, then shuts down my computer, knowing that i'm "up to something" even altered my registry, disabled hidden files viewing and shit like processor was at 100% usage, and it was heating up...


I thought, what could I do to disable it from running my task manager...and booted in safe mode...from there, it didn't quite control my computer, so i ran Brontok killer, and it deleted the very important Brontok files...then, I rebooted to the normal mode, ran it again (successfully!), deleted traces in the registry, deleted a few registry keys created by the fucker, and ran 'Hijack this!', downloaded Windows Defender (as recommended by W) and voila...kicked the fucker in the balls!!!


I try and try NOT to be a geek...but I guess I am. Well, not a very good one, but a geek nevertheless! Well, at least that's what a few friends say, but hey...I ain't complainin'!

Did finish up the necessary assignments due...and now I'm in my room at campus...a week later. Tomorrow, I go home for 2 weeks...

On to the next challenge...fixing the PC at home...

Friday, September 12, 2008

Outta My Head...

Friday, September 12, 2008

The project was over, the nightmare has gone...

A new task emerges, a new challenge arrives. I miss mom, even though I don't see her during the weekdays. It's just that I know she's not home, and that leaves a bitter feeling in my gut. Sorry for the emo post, but I can't help it!

Supposed to go home today, but there's another task to finish. Hopefully, tomorrow i'll be home to take care of my baby sis...kinda pity my other sis who's taking care of her, and of course, daddy. I'm so thankful that my family's the type that help each other, work together to attain the ultimate happiness.

God bless my family...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tension Alert!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I've been stressed for days, i don't even know where to begin. This whole freakin' week has been shitty! Shitty...SHITTY!!!

My friends and I had a hard time doing this project...and we finsihed, but alas...a bumbling biatch went and pointed our faults...okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

And i have another task going on...and another...and another...and another...arghhhh! When will it stop?

Now I find out my mom is going outstation...this freakin' Friday! She said she was going on Wednesday, and now...I won't get to see my Mommy in a month...maybe more!


The stress just keep gettin' better. Thank God for friends...and books...and family!


Monday, August 25, 2008

Bustin' My Chops...All the Freakin' Time!

Monday, August 25, 2008

This past week was hectic, I must say...but i'm bracing for the worst...haha, "We've only just begun..."

Busted my chops...and my laptop! Too much cmd prompts, that I probably deleted my system files by mistake...NTLDR Error!!! But it's all good. Thank God for my resourceful-ness! Fixed it, albeit with some minor obstacles...but it's all good now!

Did a presentation with my gang...went pretty well. Lecturer praised us for a job well done. Well, hell yeah! We did questionnaires, surveys, interviews, a pie friend did a really good job with the montage...other friends were well prepared...together as a team, we all excelled! YAY for the team!!!

What else? sis is all grown...15 months-old, and she's the queen of the house, playing all of us like a bunch of her worker bees! My dad, especially...he's her slave, really! How adorable! Lol!

Tomorrow, i'll be having French Quiz 1...hope it goes well...considering I didn't study shit! Arrrrrrggghhhhhh!!!

Je n'aime pas les questiones Francais!!! J'aime beaucoup le francais, mais je ne parle pas tres bien ce langue, parce que je ne prepare pas!!! C'est vrai!

Is that even correct? Sigh...only God can tell...hahahaha (nervously laughs!)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Hey Ya...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I should start by saying Ma Sheba Ba...haha! I don't know what the fuck it means, but i'm loving the movie You Don't Mess With the Zohan...

It is classic Adam Sandler...goofball antics, dirty jokes, disgusting humor...which i sooooo love...i was literally ROFL when i saw it the first time...and the second, and third...all through the fifth! Brings back the memories of Happy Gilmore and his old comedies...and again...with his sick fixation on the older ladies...HAHAHAHAHA!!! Buttacheim!!!

All throughout, a lesson is learnt...we all want the same things...whatever race it may be. Only in Sandler's case, he plays on the stereotypes with much exaggeration. Man, I have a craving for Phantom's Muchentuchen...with a side of hummus! ROFL!!!

Went with some uber-old besties included! Went to a bar as the designated driver (teetotaller!!!) without telling parents. Drove all the way to Putrajaya to send another home...that was fun...driving a loooooooooooong road...without telling parents! Hahaha...what they don't know...

Missed curfew, scolded by parents for not calling and/or answering my WAS my fault, I admit! Maybe a certain W got into some parental lecture as well? Well, I certainly did! Hahahaha...21 year old, indeed!

Now, back to school...sigh!

Saturday, August 02, 2008


Saturday, August 02, 2008

Can you believe how hot it is these days?

I'm now a crispy-brown fried chicken, and i'm not kidding! What is going on here? What with all the global warming, ice caps melting, we sure aren't doing enough...

I'm mostly freaking out due to my freakish ability to grow freckles with being exposed to the harsh lightings of the sun...even though i'm a naturally tanned person! Un-freaking-believable! I thought brown-skinned peeps don't get freckles, and now i've been proven wrong.

Pigmentations suck-balls! And i can't believe humans can be cooked/baked/roasted by just walking under the sun...with an umbrella...

Malaysia's hot and humid weather does nothing to make things better...went out with friends the other day. On the way back, we took the 6pm train back to uni...We were packed like a can of sardines, and then some!

With my own eyes, I saw humans being pressure-cooked and steaming, sweat dripping on one another, all sorts of B.O. you could imagine. I was there, wanting to die on the spot...has anyone ever heard of deodorant? WTF!!!

Then some guy standing behind me kept saying "Hi"...

The first time, i ignored him...for the second time, i ignored him...then, for the third time, i said "Yeah...hi." I did it out of courtesy.

He said, "I just wanted to say hi..."

My reply, "Well, now is not a good time to say hi!"

Ok, it was rude, but c'mon! You're standing behind me in a full train, in front of dozens of people, and you wanna say hi? Are you kidding? Plus, your B.O. and your persistence just annoyed the hell outta me! Could you be anymore inappropriate?

So, he just shut up...Good! Then, later, i would be made fun of by my friends...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Annoyances Break Me...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Yes it does! Really...thank God for friends who care. If I didn't have any, i would have been f***ed a long time ago. Just a few posts ago I said that my schedule no longer clashes, and yet here it is...


After explanations, explanations and more explanations, finally I get some peace. Friends backed me up, and now I am allowed to be tardy...which is rather uncommon! Hahaha...but still, this gives me a rather uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Yeah, sure I'm happy...but I feel a sense of guilt. Imagine, coming in 30 minutes late, when everyone have already done their job, talked about a topic, etc. Everyone else will stare...Damn!

So there it is, not even a day gone by, and i'm already f***erized by the system.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I Dread Assignments...I Am Hereby F***erized!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Oh boy do I dread it...

So, I email my professor my topic (after thinking about it for the longest time!)...been thinking about doing something in the lines of the US, but mom came up with an amazing idea. She told me one problem with bilateral ties is the dreaded US-Malaysia FTA, which is STILL in talks (for the 9th time)...and then BAM!!!

Why not do a paper on its implications on the Malaysian economy? Emailed the proposed topic to the a nod from her...


Yes, there are many many many papers and journal on FTAs, but to do a paper on economic implications is beyond me...OMG, what have I gotten myself into...tomorrow, she will know me...who I am, for she will announce it in class...then everyone will look at me...some may even say "F***...she's doomed!"

I must say, I have been f***erized! By none other than me! I would be laughing out loud, rolling on the floor, giving me a diabolical belly laugh if I were someone else, but,'s me! Oh shizz!

And here I am at 1 am, dreading it...tomorrow is what it is; i'm to wake up at 6am to commute back to campus, into my hostel...and straight to French class...

Oh yeah, tutorials start this week too...Bummer...Shizz squared...

Sorry for the lame curses...other than f***erized, i've nothing that tops that.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Cosmos Prohibits the Net...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Today was a frustrating was as if the cosmos does not want me using the internet...but, i digress...

My friends and i spent the whole freakin' day looking for a location to use wifi on our computers. My battery sucks-balls, so i had to look for a hub with a plug point. We booked a special room just adjacent to the had a cool lighting system with air-conditioning...BUT...there's always a but (of course!), the plug point didn't work!

To make matters worse, the connection was pretty bad. We were literally nomads, searching for the most "fertile land", aka place with a great signal...I guess in the end, there was just too many peeps using the wifi. SUCKS!!!

Now, i've finally found a place to call "home"...HAHA! I'm at the lab, and here, i use the computer given, where i am downloading codecs that i need to watch a video of a particular format...

It seems NIN has released free songs for fans...i'm so there!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I Dream of Scones...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I dreamt of having some scones with tea and crumpets...all because of a friend's funny remarks of an old English lady...the so-called jam i spread on top of it was blue...does that mean anything? Hahaha, just a scrambling of data collected throughout the day, made into a movie in my head!

I also keep dreaming that Ryan Seacrest is the devil...isn't that hilarious and creepy? Why, of all people, should I dream of the "hardest working man in Hollywood"? HILARIOUS!

Tomorrow, i'm going back to uni...getting prepared for a hectic week. And tutorials haven't yet started. However, some friends and I are preparing to go see another blockbuster...Hellboy II!!! I rather enjoyed the first one, and I hear Guillermo Del Toro's visionary monsters are 'imported' or rather, quite similar to those in his previous hit, Pan's Labyrinth (which I didn't get to see...).

The Dark Knight...watched it yesterday with my best buds...I realy loved it. You know, i'm the type that believes in all the hype, but i must admit, this piece was awesome. From the storyline, to the characters, to the cinematography, even to the title...simply great! At first, I thought everyone wanted to give Ledger a posthumous Oscar just coz he's passed, but now I see that he deserves it! What a young, so talented...he was great in "that gay cowboy movie"...and what an ending with Joker.

Bought a couple of staples; 2 hoodies!!! And a formal, frumpy yet professional-looking blouse-shirt. Friends say it said "pro!" on me, but when I got home, mom said it makes me look old. And I'm there like, "WTF? Who am I supposed to believe now?" Meh...

I must say, for all that happened this week, I don't feel very much enthusiastic. I don't understand why. I keep feeling bored, yet, I feel like I don't wanna do anything but lie in bed and do nothing. Am I becoming what I hate most? Apathetic, with no zest for life? Please don't let that happen to me...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Some Fucked Up Shizz!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The hectic schedule which i'm about to receive calls for perseverence, patience, a firm hand, and...patience.


First of all, my application to up my credit intake for this term was approved...the problem is, fitting the said subject into my already tight schedule. Am i gonna be able to do this?

I hope to God that i can...

Second thing is, as i'm sitting here typing this shit, i feel so blurred-out from the world, that I don't know what am i even here for.

I'm sort of liking my current room better than my last (HORIBBLE!!!)...just coz of the view, the floor, the lack of a roommate...and yet, my friends are next door. So, i sorta get the best of both worlds; when i'm bored, i go next door...and when i wanna be alone, i just have to go back to my room.

Watched Braveheart yesterday...but it didn't finish...i mean, it stopped at the climax. You know, when Wallace was leading the Scotsmen to war. It just stopped while they were slitting and bashing those English! I feel so cheated!

I heard Mel Gibson's in Malaysia! I remember just after "the incident", Wikipedia called him Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson.

I think he'll fit well in Malaysia because of our policy on ****** to finish this good-for-nothing post, i say;


Sunday, July 06, 2008

Back to the Valley of Scholarly Shit!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Yes, yes, yes! I'm going back to varsity life after 2 freakin' months of slacking on the couch, babysitting my 13 month old sister, cleaning, cooking...

I DON'T WANNA GO...................

But I have to...oh, dang it!!!

Have to start eating ramen noodles, buying greased up fuckin' junk food, can't see my adorable sister except weekends...will miss family all over again! Oh, geez...I hate it...hate it, hate it, hate...FOR NOW!

And guess what, stupid PTPTN did not bank in the loan instalment...i literally go back empty handed, with no new clothes, nothing to say, "I'm all fresh from the holidays"...what a drag!

For the record, I use majority of the money for necessities, till the end of the semester...and the sum given is a pittance...after paying the tuition fee, i'm left such a small amount, that I almost live like a hermit...note the Ramen/junk food line above...but at least i'll be losing the holiday weight...LOL!

Also, have to start running in the morning to boost metabolism, then tone-up so that i won't huff and puff while running around for lectures.

Must start reading more books on stuff i like...also, i must be thrifty from now more buying stuff for baby and mom and dad...sorry, i just have to for my own sake. I HATE BEING A CHEAPSKATE!!! But, what can I do, i have no dough to be buying stuff...thank God i don't have a credit card...

Saw 'Get Smart' with my best bud yesterday...was great...totally love Carell...he has played every character with such a consistency (of a men so stiff, he makes the mopstick look limp!), that it amazes me...ever seen Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy? Yeah, Steve's a stiff character with a cuckoo complex...hahahaha!!! Love him, really!

What I would love to see next is 'You Don't Mess with the Zohan'...another Apatow movie...well, he sorta shot Carell to movie fame with '40-year Old Virgin', right? Plus, the trailer looked good..who could resist Adam Sandler with that hair? Hahaha...

Okay, I hope and pray that the rooms are now equipped with WiFi or some sorta internet hub, as the main peeps of the dorm promised...

Friday, July 04, 2008

Help! What Am I Gonna Do?

Friday, July 04, 2008

So, for the previous emo post, I would like to apologize for the totally pathetic self-pitying, i'm not one for peoples' sympathies...that's why i'm saying screw the previous post...i'm so over it!

The latest is more problematic...I'm gonna have to find a part-time job. Seriously, what in the world could i do to earn some money? I have parents who are living from check-to-check, and i don't want to burden them.

I applied for some part-time writing, thanks to W, but I doubt anyone will ever hire a now, what else could I apply for? I guess i'll have to start looking, browsing, etc...this high cost of living is really disturbing...if i am not rich, but not in poverty, and yet could suffer like this, can you imagine the hardship those in poverty are going through?

Oh my God, the rich keep getting richer...those oil tycoons are some bloodsucking leeches, dudes! As you know, once the oil prices go up, everything else does!

Anyone hiring?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Have You Ever Played the 'Have You Ever Game'?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

It's sorta my thing...I play this game mainly on this journal I call a blog...

Have you ever fallen in love? My answer is no...pitiful, you say? I don't know, although I must admit it is pretty lame that I haven't had the chance to experience the whole being in love thing, I would at least want to experience it once in my life...

I'm the way! It's still pretty ok, right?

I just try and try not to get jealous when friends of mine who have been single for long come around and tell me, "Hey, i'm in love with this guy/girl...and he/she loves me back!"

But still, I can't help feeling resentment when I see them holding hands and looking each other in the eye with so much love...I mean, when am I going to experience that? That's what songs are made of, movies..and art too!

Now, it wouldn't be fair at all if I didn't get a chance to fall head over heels before I just goes to show that life does indeed play sick games with me...and people like me.

Meh, i'm pretty much bitter right this rate, I'll be keeping cats by the time I hit 40...and so, life goes on...maybe i'll keep dogs instead! Yeah, dogs...

Monday, June 30, 2008

I Can't Believe This!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Has it been 2 months already? OMG...How time flies...

Am I really going back to uni life after living like a pig? After gaining pounds? After living like a hog? AAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Sunday is the day I leave my precious room and house and TV for days in the valley of studious peeps, days in the hidden town of Bangi, days in the college of Keris Mas, days in the National University of Malaysia...

Goodbye to laziness and hello to a new chapter...yet again!

I have opened a Facebook account...ok, ok...way passe, this thing called Mukabuku/Bukumuka in Bahasa Malaysia (kinda sounds African...)! But it's never too late, right?

I kinda wish I could get more hits to my poor blog, so as to have people of different opinions give me theirs...but I'm kinda lazy to post pics and shit like that.

So, i'll just write...but now, i would prefer people i don't know instead of peeps i do know in real life. Why is it? (Except some people...)

Should I take this step and broadcast my bolg to people? Or shouldn't I?

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Friendster's Annoyances!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

What is it about Friendster that gets annoying? Ok, ok, before I start...I am a victim of this so-called "social network" of "friends"...well, yeah! I know the 'in' thing is Facebook, but here in Malaysia, it's either Myspace or Friendster.

You see, i only add people i know, or people who i genuinely like to get to know in real life...schoolmates, college mates, genuine and sincere people...

But, as usual, this writer has a few complaints...about some people who are total whack-jobs!

What's with the joint account by gf-bf...showing them kissing, hugging and shitting (not really!), gimme a break, will ya? I may be single, but if i had a bf, would i want to show people all that shit? What's so nice about watching other people smooching while cam-whoring, then adding every Tom, Dick and Harry just to fill in your account? ANNOYING!!!

And what about those losers who add everyone they can, even if they don't know 'em, and then open a 2nd account and repeat? ANNOYING!!!

What about those who keep posting spam-like graphics on your comment box every single day without fail? ANNOYING!!!

And..those who keep requesting for you to be their "friend", even though you've rejected them like dozens of times? ANNOYING!!!

There...a few complaints. There's more, if you ask any sane person who's had it! But, i really keep contact with my real friends through a network like, there's the good and the bad!

Maybe my bitchery has gone gargantuan, as i have been sorta irritable because of a certain person (refer to previous post)...

Do you have any complaints? Do tell...

PS: I wanna go out! For real!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Annoyances Make Me Hulk-y!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

These days, all I do is watch the tele...and i can't complain. I cook, do some cleaning, help take care of my baby sis, and I won't complain, coz there's nothing to complain about--i'd do it coz it's my home...


When the housekeeper sleeps on the couch, not doing any work, and i have to wash her dirty dishes, bring her water, milk, when i have to wash her dishes, cook her food, buy her food when i'm not able to cook...THAT DESERVES SOME MOTHER-EFFIN' RANTS!!!!!!!!! I've already lost my privacy because she's been staying in my room ever since she came here...around 4-5 month ago.

The first few months, i didn't mind her because i had no clue what was going on. I was of course staying in my college dorm. When i came home, i didn't mind sleeping in the hall till my dad bought a new matress for her...she slept on my bed...i didn't mind at all.

BUT...since the holidays, it's been a never-ending repression of anger, slowly making me nuts! She is so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here are just a few (there's alot more that i couldn't even type for i might lose it!) complaints;

She had gastric a few days ago, and she didn't even shower the whole day, she came down to eat the food i cooked, then managed to leave her plate, filled with leftovers that she didn't bother to throw-out, and left it there for me to wash! She's sick, but i mean, can't she fuckin' wash her own frickin' plate? AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

She doesn't do any cleaning other than mopping up and sweeping the floor...after that, she'll eat, eat, eat and eat like a pig, sleep on the couch, then wake up, consume 5 litres of water, eat, see that she doesn't have to do anything coz everyone in the house had already done the work, like throw the garbage, cook, clean, take care of the baby! She even slacks on the couch in the hall when there's she owns the house.


I can't tell her anything...why? Coz, she's related to my mom! Yes, she's come all the way from a village in the Philippines, and my parents called her here to help us with the baby and the cleaning so she can support her child there...But, you know what?

Paying her 500 bucks a month for sleeping on our couch all day, watching TV, consuming all our water (seriously, she'll be drinking a glass every 30 minutes!), eating non-stop (she cooks rice twice a day-idiot won't even bother to ask us if we would wanna eat) WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING is a waste...God helps those who help themselves, remember?

My mom and dad washes the bathroom, and not her!!! I'm so effin' mad!!! What are they paying her for? They don't say anything in hopes that she'd realize it herself, but i think she's just plain dumb! No wonder she doesn't have a job! Coz nobody wants to hire a help that doesn't help! Instead, WE are taking care of her. She doesn't bother to cook for herself.

The verdict? We can only do so much to help...we are financially unable to support this shit! Even my parents can't take wanna help, but how much is too much when from the beginning, you are being taken advantage, we are sending her home to her chanty-village.

Sorry, we wanted to help, but in the end, you have to know what you were here for...we don't care if you eat a lot, drink a lot, watch tv a lot...but if you don't do any work...WTF is the point of you being here? Shame on us if we keep on letting you be here, taking my parents' hard-earned cash, right?

I'm on the verge of turning into the Hulk!!!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Results are Out...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

And i got...a 3.50 cgpa...

Okay...better than the last semester...though, it would be nice to get a 3.70...meh, who am i kidding? I'll get 'em the next time! I'm so glad the paper i screwed up got a B-...considering, it sucked big time! I got As in both languages; English (duh!) and French (yay!)...and for strategy...a B+(wtf!)...the rest was a mix of As and Bs...


Moving on...can't wait to go out again! And also go shopping...when the student loan swings by, i mean. is still laid-back for now...and i'm loving it! (Pa Da Pa Pa Paaa...)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Revelations, Part Deux...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Results of my exams are coming out soon...scared as hell! I know there were a couple of slacked subjects, due to my lecturer's error...but, what's done is done, and i'll be happy enough if i get higher than my previous score...

Somehow i don't know if that could happen...geez!

Movies at often times get me thinking about my own life...will it imitate art? In a sense it does; hardships, dusting yourself up when you're down, and stuff like that. Sometimes you live vicariously through the characters...same as when you're reading a good book.

I'm looking at my life, and sometimes i just wonder when my real life would begin. Where's love? Where's the snarly best friend who's the 'court-jester'? Where's the tormented soul that you reach out to, only to fall in love and then be happy together in your romance-laden world full of poems, sonnets, and gazing up at the sky full of stars together?

I would usually wake-up, say that the real world has nothing like that to offer and get on with my boring life, and take the next guy that walks through the door...BUT I CAN'T!

For some reason, i can't settle for anything less than what i dream of, as naive as that sounds. That is why i have never had a boyfriend. And when people tell me it's impossible to NOT have one, i just feel like punching them in the face!

Why? Coz...i'm NOT needy and clingy like most girls out there? Because i believe in romance and the works? Because i'm not ready? Because i'm not a bimbo like so many girls are portraying? Because i have a wider vocabulary than you?

Then there's the "Oh, maybe she's not into guys..."

Wrong again, buddy!

The whole idea men get when a girl does not seem to respond to their machismo is that they're lesbians...i don't even have to dignify this so-called theory men use to justify them being turned-down...

P.S. These rants were long overdue, accumulated throughout my years of single-hood...a response to my own demons, and observations toward the current trend of bimbo-wannabes portrayed by endless amounts of 'chicks' in heat. If you feel burned, well...FEEL THE BURN, BITCH!

P.P.S. This was brought to you by a 21 year old who has witheld her thought on this for a very very long time! She's looking, but probably not your way!

Friday, June 13, 2008


Friday, June 13, 2008

i've been regretting not going out for a quasi-summer job...instead, i've been slacking at home. But, i've come to a revelation:


Is that not so? It is, indeed! This is the only chance i get to BE at home and do nothing. After 2 more years, all i'll be doing is work! Bills, bills, bills! Buy, buy, buy! Wants, wants, wants!

I am lucky i have worked before to appreciate what i've got going right now. I mean, when else can i spend time with my 1-year old sister? She's growing so fast, already...makes me see that my mortality exists...


Monday, June 09, 2008

The Weekend That Was...

Monday, June 09, 2008

Had a pretty ok weekend, due to chillin' out with my pal, W...saw a great action movie (cue Indiana Jones theme...hehehe!)...had practically 1/4-price Starbucks thanks to an ex-classmate...split a hefty parking bill with W, and the next day; nil activitites.

To sum it up...pretty much Saturday 1, Sunday 0


Hope that we could do it again...just to talk and catch up with friends make me feel less insane from being cooped-up in le maison for a long time, you know? It's not that i'm complaining, but even if i like lazing at home, i still have work and chores to do...

Come to think about it, i should contact other pals to go and hangout, catch up...nice to see what they're up to. I kinda feel useless, though...they're making dough during vacay, and i opt to stay home doing!

It's Monday where i live. Wonder what would i be up to soon enough...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

OK...Now What?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Yeah, been home lately...doin nothing but cooking for the fam and watching TV.

Okay, okay, i regret not looking for a job! I'll admit it!

One thing i'm super bummed about is my lack of cash! I can't go out unless i ask mom and dad, and that's embarassing for me, coz all this while, i'd never ask them for money coz i know their financial hardship...

Well, i know they would give me some money in a heartbeat, but i somehow would feel guilty, and i don't know why. My sis is certainly sucking 'em dry with her using the car, getting money for gas, and her daily expenditure...i just find it difficult asking them for some, you know...

BUT! That doesn't mean i wouldn't wanna go out with some friends once in a while...i don't go out everyday. I deserve some days out!

Other than that, yesterday i dreamt of this guy i know (we're not close, just sorta know him and sorta have a crush on him, hehehe!) asking me out. In my dream, i said yes...then, i was woken up by my baby sister...oh, damn!

LOL! I'm so crushing on this guy, but...i think he WAS in his final year...and probably taken...Meh, one chance missed! Damn!

Other than that, what should i do...i should try to do some productive stuff, right? The problem is...what? I don't know, read many books? compose a score (ROFL)? Get some cats and call myself a spinster? Etc?

My current situation is...


Sunday, May 11, 2008

I'm Back...Sooo Back!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Yeah, baby...

2nd term=OVER!

Freshman year=O-V-E-R!!!

I'm getting a 2-month long vacay, but i don't know if i should work, or...NOT? Mom's making me go to work somewhere, but i feel kinda lazy, you know? I guess the stress kinda makes me wanna take a break for real and chill out at home, maybe get fat(ter!), catch up on my TV, and wheel my way into obesity...

Ok, ok, maybe that's a little too idle, this wish of mine, but damn...i don't know what part-time job i would wanna do. I've tried the hotel industry, then tried the audio-visual industry, and now what should i do? Be a cashier? Hell no...

I could handle being a dog walker, a bounty hunter, etc...but i don't think services like that are available in this country...LOL!!! Haha...bounty hunter...Haha!

Oh, and if you couldn't guess, i seem like i'm kinda out of my head, right? Well, maybe it's coz i am...kinda...dunno what's wrong today...

Anyway, gtg now, guess i'll be blogging more often than unusual since i'm gonna be so freakin' free...

Toodlez, bitches!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Back for a Short While

Sunday, April 27, 2008

I have a huge gap betwen my exams...a week-long gap! It's both a good and a bad thing...go figure!

I also had to queue a long queue (LOL) to book my room for the next university session 2008/2009...yay, got a room next to my buddy-buds! We're so gonna get sick of each other the next time around, hehehe! Whoa, how time flies! One minute, you say it sucks, then it's good...then it sucks right back again! And where do you end up? At the end of the find yourself being a freshie, and upgraded to a sophomore...once again, i repeat...WHOA, HOW TIME FLIES!

My birthday is coming up...that means family outing (lunch/brunch/dinner/whatever!)...They ask me what i wanna eat, i say "JAPANESE PLEASE!", and my dad says he can't stand sushi, and my sister's a vegetarian, and my aunt doesn't eat weird food other than her home village let's just go and have a steak dinner!

Sigh...what's the freakin' point of asking ME since all of you had already made a choice! Geez...that's really annoying. I don't really need more food, you know! Some 21st birthday...i just want all of us to be happy and blessed by God, and that's all i ask...

Exams were kinda half-and-half; some good, some not so good...we'll just see!

I wanna go out, but the lack of cash prohibits it...i wanna watch all those new movies...i wanna go here, there and everywhere, experience everything great...but the lack of cash prohibits it. I wish i had a million dollars...

Any offers?

Friday, April 18, 2008


Friday, April 18, 2008

Why can't i seem to study? Why, Why, Why? Is it a hard thing to do; to read a little? And what's with this recurring dream i keep having? It is making me over-analyze my personal life, (READ: relationship!)

Yeap, the big relationship issue reels itself in yet again...i haven't touched on this subject for ages, since i've been too busy for shit like that. it goes again.

You see, i have this friend who keeps telling me that i NEED a bf...i flat out deny this BS and she says that proves that i REALLY REALLY am proving her point. My reply is "WHAT???"

All i want is this; a full, happy life with family and friends. Anything more would just be the icing of the proverbial freakin' cake! Why do i need to be defined as someone who NEEDS someone? All i need is my own life, to do as i please. I see my sister, who has been in a five year relationship so far (Wow!)...yeah, it is admirable, but i tell you what. They fight all the time. Do i want that? No thanks!

Plus, i'm a self-confessed commitment-phobe...i don't know why. My parents seem like the perfect couple, so maybe it is due to something else...

Another thing is, who would ever understand a girl like me? Another friend tells me that my so-called OK looks (i said so-called) do not match my brain-complexity. Yeah, i read philosophy for fun, my IT knowledge and geek-ism is better than the average layman, and the obsession for gadgetry is stunted by my lack of money, but which guy would know that? They think i'm stuck-up for not socializing like the other girls anyway, so why must i be a kiss-ass? Most guys are shallow like that...that's all!

Tell you what, when i meet a guy i can truly click with, you'll be the first to know. Mind you, attraction is a major point here, but attraction does not mean looks...those are 2 different things.

But, intellect, humor and a street-wise attitude is the way to go. In the end, personality trumps all. Right, guys...err, i mean girls! could just choose from a variety of bimbos, coz there are many bimbo-fish in the sea...the shallow sea. LOL! (Lame, i know.)

So maybe in the next post i'll give you details on the bimbo species available...that's if i put my study books down again!

I hate it when i'm in weird-mode...

Toodlez, bithces!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Weather has Gone Awry...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Malaysian weather used to be this stable consistency...but currently, it has turned to be very extreme and's sooooooooooo freakin-hellishly hot, then, all of a sudden, heavy downpours reign the skies...

I mean, is this the effect of our BIG CLIMATE CHANGE? Is this caused by GLOBAL WARMING? If it is, we are doomed!

Why don't i see any state governments like the US doing anything about it? Why is it when it comes to the planet, nobody cares, but when it comes to a little country like Iraq, billions are spent just for the sake of national about EARTH security?

Paging Mr. Bush...our planet is important too! US is the no. 1 environmental pollutant! DO SOMETHING!

Monday, April 07, 2008

I Finally Quit My Fuckin' Job!

Monday, April 07, 2008

I did...i did!

And i'm sooooo freakin' happy!

Now i can concentrate on my studies, not get so stressed-up all the time, get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, red eyes, dull skin, etc...

Now i don't have to get the dreaded call of "Is the work done?", then not sleep at night just to finish the subtitles...

Now, i'm free!!! I'm free to study, free to play with my baby sis, and be a normal, studious, fun-loving youth!

Now, i can say...


Saturday, March 29, 2008

I'm So So So So So Tired...SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I can't believe i'm still alive...this week has been hell.

Work? I'm gonna quit, coz i ain't getting no money from it, and i can't waste my precious time doing omething which i'm getting nothing from...i'm wasting my study-time!

I have tons and tons of assignmnets, i don't know where to start, that me and a friend just sat down on a bench...startled, overwhelmed...that we didn't know what to do and how to handle it!

What we did, you won't believe...we went to Mid Valley to catch a movie! Betcha-by-golly-wow! We just wanted to forget, if just for a while...nothing wrong with that, right?

Watched 27 Dresses...friend told me i was Catherine Heigl's character...doesn't know why, but she pictures my sis and I. I'm the eldest, so...go figure! Hey, my sister ain't THAT bad! Lol...That was a pretty feel-good movie. Felt slightly happy after that.

Gosh, i may be a tough one, but i'm sure a sucker for chick-flicks!

Btw, James Marsden is HAWT! Too bad he hasn't gotten the credit he deserves...he's a pretty good actor. I've always liked him in Second Noah, as lame as it was. Heigl's a superstar, plus i like her...enough said!

Coming home, we started thinking about all that work again...SHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!!! And SHIT!!!

Now, i'm home, my phone is turned off, and i'm gonna finish everything i can, so please wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Aftermath...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I hate the aftermath...i wish music festivals in Malaysia would be held every fuckin' year so i could have fun for at least once a year!!!

I'm going home tonight...coz tomorrow is gonna be a holiday...yay! But i guess i'm following mom to church from Thursday to Friday, maybe Saturday AND Sunday (for Holy Week).

And i forgot to mention that i had my midterms...did quite well in French (even if je ne sais pas!), but i don't know my marks in Strategy and International Systems and Globalization...Geez, i need to buck up on them! MUST READ U.N. CHARTER!

The job i was supposed to do? Bleagh...i'm not getting anything even worth my time, and i have to sacrifice my study time? I think after this, i'm gonna have to pass on it...PITTANCE is not worth my time. Subtitling takes patience and a whole lotta time, which i don't have.

So now i have to complete an assignment on Deterrence as a Defense Mechanism...gonna go to the library...So, till next time...

Toodlez, bitches!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

UPDATE: For Previous Post!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Mike Einzeiger played a pipa, a clasical-Chinese instrument...not a sitar, which is clasical-Indian...

Sunburst KL was F-U-N!!!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Indeed it was!!!

Okay, so you don't know the whole story...i joined this contest on MTV, and won me a pair of tickets...well, since it was gonna be on my sister's birthday, why not bring her along, right?


Then, i found out that a friend of ours got herself a free ticket from a friend who wanted to 'use' her as his driver.


Then, my sister's boyfriend got a little annoying and decided NOT to let her have fun with the gals and bought one for himself...ergo, he was joining us!


All in all, we ended up reaching at almost 8pm, but it started from 2 pm. Well, i just wanted to see John Legend and Incubus, which was from 10-12.30 at night...


Well, did i have fun?

HELL YEAH!!! That was one of the funnest, greatest concerts ever!!! The rest of the performers (there were many acts!), i didn't really care for, but the vibe from the audience for John Legend and Incubus was really a great thing for them. And i have to add that John's band was great, yo! I was dancing till my shoes got all loose and stuff.

Well, maybe it got damaged coz i was jumping and head-banging to Incubus!!! I was singing-along to every single song of their...i'm a super-fan!

As for John, i only knew him from his hit songs, but after yesterday, you can bet that he has a new fan...MOI! Plus, he's not only a great singer-performer...he's super-duper HAWT!!! I can't believe i didn't realize that before. He brought a girl up on stage to slow dance with him, and i got freakin' did all the other girls, lol...and he was sweating through his t-shirt...HAWT!!! He went on and on without losing his superbbly smooth voice, and promised to come back to Malaysia...

Tell you what, if he does come back to KL for another performance, i'm soooooo there, dudes!!!
And the hotness of Brandon from Incubus could not be forgotten...enough said! Though, one complaint would be the turntablist (correct?) from Incubus was not going at the same key as the whole band...meh, maybe i'm wrong. But, boy can Brandon play percussions!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not so shallow as to notice ONLY the hotness, but it's just great to see that there are REAL talents with good-looks. I DO love their music, and appreciate their talents, y'all! I wish more acts like them would come to Malaysia...

Hah, wishful thinking!

Lastly, the awesome guitarist, Mike from Incubus played some kinda instrument...i think it was a, i didn't know HE was the one playing it on the album...amazing!!!

Both John and Incubus came out for an encore...and i was in heaven!

Didn't take pictures...just one measly pic with my sis on her stupid phone...but the memoy will be running in my head for a long-long time!

Love it! Till the next post...

Toodlez, bitches!!!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

What A Wake-up Call!!!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

As many Malaysians know, the gov coalition won majority seats in the parliament, but lost five states to the opposition...What a wake-up call, right?

I can't believe my state is gonna be taken over by the! If only i was old enough to vote...if only the parliament was just a few months later, i could!

Man, this whole handing over the state to the opposition thingy is kinda scary and exciting. What kind of changes do you suppose they will bring to the table? Will they be tough on the citizens? Will the state STILL gain government grants for enhancing and development? That, i can't be sure...thinking about it makes me scared.

But, Selangor is the most developed and she attracts the most businesses from in and around the country, so i have no qualms about it after thinking about it in that sense.

As for my assignments, there are still plenty to tasks; still plenty. I just came home to take a break, before i resume all those shitty stuff. It's like, after you complete an assignment, 2 more will come to your doorstep.


Sunday, March 02, 2008

N-Gaging A New Phase...

Sunday, March 02, 2008

I must say, the title is pretty lame, but i am not gonna delete it and think of another title...i do have an N-gage QD, and i'm sick of's basically like a remote control, without the fuckin TV!

The last week has been like all the previous weeks; HECTIC! Finished 3 different tasks: 2 assignments, and 1 work task. I feel like i'm gonna burst, that when i come home, i don't even feel like going out. I miss my friends from home, but everyone is soooooooooo busy, we all are pooped to even hangout!

I miss you guys, though...

My new phase is the hectic phase...great! As you know, i enjoy hectic life better. What i don't enjoy is the food i eat at varsity...


It's horrible, the food they sell at my college! But last Friday, i just couldn't wait to eat REAL food, and i forced my friends to go have Yoshinoya Beef Bowl...well, of course, i'm the only one among them who ate the Beef Bowl Combo! I'm the freakin carnivore...HAHAHAHA!!! (Well, i did order a side of veggies...Mmmmmm, yummy!)

And now, i'm back home, eating Mom's cooking...Mmmmmm. Any pounds i'd lose would come back during the weekends, and then some! But, tomorrow, i'd have to wake up at 5 am, and travel back to uni...finish up more assignments, do more work tasks (of which i'm making a pittance!), etc...

So...all that's left is to wait for the next week, or if i'm lucky, a few days to update my online diary. I love you blog! You are a great release of tension, stress and pain!!!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

What Have I Done?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Well, what have i done?

Pretty much a lot!!! Just this week , i tried to complete as much as possible...from work, to assignments to blablabla!

I'm so fuckin' tired...but i guess i'm loving it! Huhhhhhh, the times are abuzzing, and i'm just getting started! My exams are coming soon, and i've yet to study...

French class is getting more and more difficult, as the grammar is a total 360 degrees from English. Wow!!! There's so much difference...masculine and feminine? Who could tell? You'd have to have a dictionary to tell...

Well, i'm loving globalization and international's cool! Strategy? YES...but the lecturer for Strategy? Kind of a bore...English? Used to be my fave during high school, but this subject in uni is kinda 'kindergaten-esque for me'! It's like teaching ABC to a grown-up...this is due to the standard of English among public university students.

It's kind of a pity, because their not used to it...BUT it's kinda unfair for people who are fluent to pay for those unable to speak English...they should NOT mix people with different levels of's not the right system!

Well, till next time...a lot to bye!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Tralala Fridays...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I love going out!

In my nonexistant social life, i just make up for it in one day out with friends. We were supposed to go watch a movie. Well, i wanted to go watch a movie featuring my one of my fave actors in a singing role...i guess you know who it is!

As expected, friends would rather watch something the end, after reaching our destination, we decided for two rounds of bowling instead! Bwahahah!!!

Went and bowled, scouted for cute guys and cam-whored every chance we had! We wanted the pics to remind us of campus life, you know.

I'm not that much into posing, but it was fun. Lol! Guess i'm a closet poser!

Came home the next day, forgot that i had a deadline...Shit! I hate working p/time! Very much a WOMT (waste of my time)!!!

Now, after this, i'm gonna carry on with that work i'm supposed to be finished with by now!

And not forgetting my assignments...whoah!!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Busy! Tired! Bored- all at the Same Time!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hi blog!

It's been ages since i poured my heart out (seems so!), but i have deadlines to attend to.

I have work, i have assignments, and no time.

I am not really eating like i should nowadays due to beyond-sucky food...i hoped to be back home by friday, but i can't due to assignments...boy, when you're busy you're really busy...

I mean, it's almost like double or triple-whammy all in one go. But when you're bored as hell...hmmmm! That sorta sums it up!

As you know, i'm more of a hectic-loving person...i'd rather do something than do nothing. However, i am slowly losing my sense of self...oh shit! Am i going nutso? Usually, losing your sense of self is a turning point towards a huge blowout, but i'm pretty sure i can handle things, coz i always do...

So now i have to say...God help me! LOL!


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Going Back...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

After a week of TV and boredom, i'm going back to uni. Helluva week it was. I can't believe how moody i was.

Sometimes, i hate the holidays because you have to face your family could drive a person nuts, you know?

I didn't go out...friends were busy with their celebrations, plus i didn't even make any initiatives with any pals to go out and have some fun.

Now, i just wanna go to my dorm and take a break from my family, coz i need it. Who needs criticism when you have a family?

I know, whenever i get back to uni, i'll miss them. I much prefer that feeling than when i am here at home, getting annoyed.

PS: I DO love them...

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Fuckin' WORD!!!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

I have no idea what the hell is going on with my MS Word, but i've really gone nuts! Why in hell does it crash before it even loads?

I did loadsa research and found that maybe there were add-ins that gave in to the problems...after doing all sorts of shit to my notebook, like renaming template files, and inhiding system files and meticulously checking it one-by-one, i discovered this:

I CAN'T FREAKIN' FIX THIS SHIT!!! Microsoft says: "It's unfixable!!!"

What am i to do?

Answer: Buy/borrow MS Office CD-rom and reinstall everything, even though the rest of the Offfice gang are working! Ima git me a better office!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Wednesday, February 06, 2008

I'm so bored!

I haven't been out since i came home, been so lazy...just now i was in such a bad, cranky mood i sorta took it out on my family with my laser mouth.

Sometimes, i just wish i don't hv holidays coz it makes me do nothing but watch tv, and nothing else...

Haven't gone to take my stuff from the dorm as dad usually promises to send me there, but to no avail...TYPICAL!

Don't you just feel that you hate certain days...u feel like you just want to go to bed and never wake up? That's how i feel today! I realized something a few days ago...I only have have my family to live for...nothing else! My future? I sometimes feel like i'm too jaded to do anything. This phase comes and goes, but it's there nonetheless...and i hate it!

My sister ha taken to seeing a shrink about her see, she's not doing so well in the mental health area. And you know, i'll never be like that. I thank God i have the sanity.

Sometimes, i just wished omething good would happen for me, you know? I always take the harder way, because i don't want to owe anything to anybody. I don't want favors, i don't like feeling indebted. I like doing things like this as a challenge i would rise up to, and i usually do.

But, in my life, who can be a witness to all of this, except for me? Who is there to grow with me?

This is my whiny post of the day. Coz if i ain't whining, i ain't ME!


Friday, February 01, 2008


Friday, February 01, 2008

The holidays reign in the gov universities, but i for one, ain't gonna complain!

I just got back yesterday, and hope to have a great week! Please, please, let me get what i want!

I want to finish the great books i borrowed...which has been long overdue...kept renewing the due date, but never got to read them, as i was so busy with things...Grapes of Wrath (rereading it), Catcher in the Rye, 1984, The Prince, and Tortilla Flat. Hope these are great!

Anyway, i can't help but come home and love it...coz my dorm would never equate for the comforts of home!

My wisdom tooth is growing...and it sucks. What a nuisance!

Chinese New Year is beckoning, the year of the rat calls us to hail in its presence...

I just love the mandarin oranges! Lol...

I wish all the chinese in the world a very happy Chinese New Year! (like as if they read this!)


Monday, January 28, 2008

Oh Boring Day...Again!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Just another boring Monday...feeling so bloody bored that i can't even think about what to write.

Will continue once i get a clue. If not, maybe next time.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Hmmm...Busy, Busy!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Well, the week was soo hectic...I am literally swamped with shit to do for this semester. Seeing that i have taken the heavy task of taking an extra subject, my weekly schedule has been packed to four hectic days...well, more like 3.5 hectic days.

On Mondays, i just have one measly class. But Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are full. I have classes from morning to night, and from different faculties, too.

It wouldn't seem so bad if the buses here were efficient. They are so bloody annoying! How long do the students wait for a fuckin bus to come by? And they sometimes wouldn't go the route they're supposed to go. Just plain stinks!

And then they say why UKM can't be no. can you be no.1 if even your bus service tends to be crappy? Food ain't so good either. The syllabus...don't get me started.

However, I seem to be happier this semester. My roomie seems better than i thought she would be...she's ok. My friends and i hang out more often. I've concluded that i wouldn't wanna be too active in the activities...i'm just gonna chill with what i already have.

WiFi in my dorm is still unavailable. I do hope they put WiMax for us, though...

Baby sis had the measles...thank God she's over it now. Mom's birthday is today...a still-stunning 43-year old woman, she is...gonna buy her fave cake from Secret Recipe...prolly Caramel Cheesecake or Cheese-Choc Cake...Mmmmmm!

Still afraid of commitment...i think i was born to be a spinster! But i would hope and love to throw caution to the wind if i find him...sigh!

BTW, i'm utterly flabbergasted at Heath Ledger's passing...shocked as hell! His poor daughter. I don't think it was suicide, though...sometimes accidents just happen. But, I pray that he rests in peace...and may his family find solace in his legacy, and each other...Amen!

So, till the next post (i hope it'll be sooner than next year)...g'bye!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Please Let It Be So!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

There's a possibility that my Saturday classes would be scheduled on a weeknight...


Ther's a posibility that French class students get to go on a trip to France...


But!!! There's a possibility of going to Vietnam instead, in case the budget is way too low...


However, while i was on my way towards the last class of the week, i heard knocking at my room door. Thinking it was someone selling stuff, i ignored. Due to the persistance of the knocking, i finally opened it, only to reveal that...




I had gotten so used to staying alone in my 2 people-per-room dorm, that i couldn't accept it. Again, i say...


Now, i can't change my clothes in my room, i can't dance around, i can't act like a goofball while i talk to my baby sis on the phone...i hate it! But i sure hope to God that she's a nice girl. To add a little intimidation, this roommie is a senior, and sure looks serious.

Geez, i hope she isn't bully, a dirty pig, or any of those...coz from the hell some of my friends go through with their roommies, having one sounds like a nightmare.

I hope my roommie is nice...pleeeze let it be, God!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Negative Mantras Kill Me Softly With Its Words

Friday, January 11, 2008

I call myself an idiot, a moron, lazy, stooopid every single time i make a's about time i stop!

I seem to be to hard on myself. I already am the sane eldest sister, who forgoes drinking alcohol while driving, forbids underaged-drinking when my sis and her freakin' friends beg me to provide them with liquor...i'll face it now...


So, in keeping with the new year theme, (which has ended a few days ago...) I have developed a new year plan for myself...MY very own set of MYSELF!!!

I shouldn't go as far as calling myself an idiot all the time, coz as i know, i have gone through a hard time...with such flair, that i shock myself...

  • I should create a new affirmative mantra, play a great affirmative soundtrack to my life in my head, and loop it to playback. Over and over and over again!
  • I am not fat...i am normal...i am not dark...i'm tanned and i'm a bronzed goddess (LOL!)...I AM SMART and INTELLIGENT!
  • I will not use my body as a trash can to dump garbage into; i.e. JUNK FOOD!
  • I will not pine for any man...I will find love with a great, kind, smart guy who i can truly connect with, and we will at least have something called a relationship...I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO LOVE!
  • I will not sum people up by their first impression...coz, of course, most of the time, IT"S DEAD WRONG!
  • I will keep reading great books, because it enriches my mind and takes me to places i've never been.
  • I will not take my family for granted, coz they're just plain freakin' great!
  • I will ace every single test i take!
  • I will remain a good person for the rest of my life (well, at least for 2008!)
  • I will not compare myself to any other individual---for it either makes me too arrogant, or too jealous.
I will try to keep these rules sacred, for these are my commandments to myself...for the year 2008...God help me!

Monday, January 07, 2008

This Is Long Overdue...

Monday, January 07, 2008

Hello to the new year...i haven't had the chance to update for so long. However, aside from my dull lifeless-life last year, i'm hoping the new year brings something different in the horizon.

We did not celebrate the new year...i came home from campus, went for new year's eve mass, and went back to uni the very next day.

Few days later, went to the mall with friends, and finally watched a terrific and fun movie...I Am Legend. I tell ya, the whole movie was an adrenaline rush during the darkseekers' appearances...Whoah! All of a sudden, they appear jumping right on screen..ALL OF A SUDDEN! Things like that jolts me right away, and sorta gives an adequate adrenaline rush that lasts for days.

I hate that Sam died though. nevermind about Will Smith...

The next day, i had to chaperone my sister and her friends to dinner. Mom let me drive her car. And you now those girls who are basically hooligans...Meh, explaining would too long a story, and it certainly would increase my anger like that night itself. I must say, they seem rather like a bunch of monkeys! And they even wanted me to buy them alcohol...Wtf? NO WAY, BITCHES!!!

That's the last time i ever go out with them! My parents trust me, but i sure hope they wouldn't trust little missy here to go out with her friends, unchaperoned!

Now, i'm here...updating this diary of mine. If i get the chance, i'll try to do it more often, if not...well, you know why.