Thursday, October 27, 2011

It's Easy Being A Bitch For Some...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I don't have to say much. We've all been there. Especially for some people who have it easier than some.

Why don't you fucking realize that you have everything that you need, and the rest of us take the hard way...we go to public universities coz we can't afford more expensive colleges; we don't have wealthy benefactors to give us any funds coz...meh, just a tough break.

Some of us deliberately take a different route simply because we don't want our mothers to dictate what we should become. What we initially thought we wanted was not what WE wanted, but what our parents wanted for us...

Some of us do not have a history of cutting ourselves and being useless during a certain phase of our teenaged life. So buzz off, it's my turn to do what I WANT; since you did it your whole "phase"...give me my fucking chance for once! Because of you, I forced myself to become the "good child" fine...i'm a useless piece of crap now. But now you're the "good child" what's the fucking problem? I'm not hurting myself, right?

You DG2S about what I think right? Well, if you don't...why the hell are you always in my face about every single petty issue? Just.shuuuuut.upppppppppppp.OMG!!!

Realize...things are so much deeper than the shallow surface you see. I guess you always think in a shallow way. Well I don't. Everything is steeped in other unresolved issues, asshole. You are such a megalomaniac!

PS: This is my only please, let me be! Nobody ever takes my side, so TQVM! I'm mad...boohoo!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Love & Marriage, Love & Marriage...

Monday, October 17, 2011

I seem to live in a society where marriage is something that you HAVE to do by the age of 25. So I'm 24 this year; without a boyfriend.

So what?

Whenever people talk to me about getting married, all I can do is force myself to NOT puke in my mouth. The word MARRIAGE scares the hell out of me!

So shoot me if I never did go long enough with a boy to call it a relationship. I date to know whether we can go further. But somehow, I never go further than that. I just don't connect well with them. Some small annoyance, like the way they eat, the way they treat people in general, the clingy-ness...they just get to me. Yes, and the guys I have major crushes on...they're taken. TAKEN...and I don't like being a third party in any circumstance whatsoever.

So yes, I want a guy who can understand me well. Whom I can understand well. Oh yeah, while I'm at it...since ALL guys say looks are important, why not take that route too? I've been saying that looks aren't important, but what the hell...from now on, I'm gonna follow suit. I've always been a follower of attraction; but to me, it wasn't JUST the looks. It included something called intelligence, a great sense of humor, a bit of witty sarcasm, a bit of geekism, and a hint of machismo. But since LOOKS are important to guys...oh, well...when in Rome...

Yeah, looks like I'm lacking in the ideas I thought I'd go with a "bitter" post...thanks. Have a great Monday!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

iFelt Sad: 2 Deaths In A Week Which Affected Me

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My grandma died. Saw that my dad was really really sad; he wept like a little boy. I only cried when I saw him that way. I love my grandma coz she was my grandmother...but I still can't forget what she did to my dad and his siblings by leaving them. My dad was only a baby when she left them to marry another man. So now you know.

Yes, she was nice to me and my sisters. She had a full life, in terms of being lucky to have her kids care for her and love her unconditionally till her last days on Earth. She is at peace now, and hopefully in a better place.

Yes...I am quite removed from this. This did not affect me as much as it would have...

Just a day after her death was the death of one of my idols: Steve Jobs. After a long battle with cancer, he's gone. His suffering, too...has ended.

Now this 2nd death...this brought me to feel sad...but I couldn't show people that I was more sad for his death now, could I?

Man, anyone who reads this might think I'm a bitch for admitting what I'm actually admitting. I read a book about him for my Book Review Presentation during my days as a trainee. It affected me in such a way, that I actually started to research Jobs, the person - his presentations, his personality, history, words of wisdom...and you know what? He...he was the epitome of innovation. He was the ultimate CEO. He followed his passion and what he loved. Now this is something I'm trying very hard to find...doing work which you love.

Without him, we would be listening to music through God knows what. We would probably NOT have awesome GUI and calligraphic fonts on computer. We would probably not have computers in our homes. We would NOT have all the touching Pixar animations and the technology to create such heart-warming lovable characters.

He was brilliant. He was something I aspired to be (like Oprah, hehehehe).

He learned calligraphy, joined the Hare Krishna in India, did psychedelic drugs, opened a company which would be a Fortune 500 company which was synonymous with innovation, craziness and thinking differently.

I actually watched his speech at Stanford for the 2nd time (it made me cry). His words resonates with me till now. It made actually my presentation something. I started to follow how he presented things. He was the master of presenting latest gadgets from Apple. Just watch any of the launching of Macbooks, iPods, iPhones, etc...

At the end of my presentation, I received an awesome response from the audience just because you could see the twinkle in my eye and that passion. I loved that book and it showed! I wish I could find more of that in my life.

Steve may have never known me, but I'm only one of the billions of people affected by his dent he put on the universe. I shall always try my best to follow his favorite quote, "Stay hungry, stay foolish". I shall always look back and "connect the dots" on how the little steps I took in my life affected the outcome...just like his did.

Today, and probably for the decades ahead...Steve Jobs's legacy will live on just like Thomas Edison is remembered today. In textbooks, you will be a historical figure.

Thanks, Steve. RIP.

PS: Grandma...u RIP too. I know you're in a better place now. I hope.