Life's Sick Lil' Games...

How did I get so lucky in life? I thank God every single day for being this way...charmed! I may not have been born with a silver-spoon in my mouth, but I have the best family I could ever dream of...the best friends who are the best people ever...and the basic things you need to survive...AND I am blessed!

I've always prayed to God to show me the way to what I want to achieve...you see, I have the vision and goal, but I don't know how to get there! It was always holding me back. My parents, as lucky as I am to have them always seem to put high expectations...and here I am, an average Jane...a grain of sand...a piece of clay waiting to be moulded!

I sometimes wonder what else can I do or learn to make myself better; Learn another instrument? Learn more about computer-languages? Learn how to fly? Well...I suppose I could learn everything but it's more about self-perception.

I'm slowly learning that there must be something within us...as well as something we all were put here to achieve. And from what I think, it's all up to us to dream...we create our vision for the future...but God blesses the road we take.

I know it all seems sudden...but I always wonder what I did to deserve such a fortunate journey...all I can do now is thank God and live every moment the way I want to live it...

Thank you, God for finally giving me the "brick" I needed! I'm only waiting for my new phase to begin.

Amen.

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I'm so bored!

I haven't been out since i came home, been so lazy...just now i was in such a bad, cranky mood i sorta took it out on my family with my laser mouth.

Sometimes, i just wish i don't hv holidays coz it makes me do nothing but watch tv, and nothing else...

Haven't gone to take my stuff from the dorm as dad usually promises to send me there, but to no avail...TYPICAL!

Don't you just feel that you hate certain days...u feel like you just want to go to bed and never wake up? That's how i feel today! I realized something a few days ago...I only have have my family to live for...nothing else! My future? I sometimes feel like i'm too jaded to do anything. This phase comes and goes, but it's there nonetheless...and i hate it!

My sister ha taken to seeing a shrink about her problems...you see, she's not doing so well in the mental health area. And you know, i'll never be like that. I thank God i have the sanity.

Sometimes, i just wished omething good would happen for me, you know? I always take the harder way, because i don't want to owe anything to anybody. I don't want favors, i don't like feeling indebted. I like doing things like this as a challenge i would rise up to, and i usually do.

But, in my life, who can be a witness to all of this, except for me? Who is there to grow with me?

This is my whiny post of the day. Coz if i ain't whining, i ain't ME!

G'bye!

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Lately, that is! Man, these past few weeks, i've been dead broke...then, I go and watch the E! Channel, and they go on and show Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's billion-dollar net worth!!!

Dude...

Okay, the current phase i'm going through right this minute is pure apathy towards my further education...why? Because any of my university offers would be the ones i've picked-out beforehand...political science and communication...so if I get any of my choice, i'll accept it! If I don't, last resort would be Taylor's College (BA in Communication).

So, there you go!

Haven't gone anywhere other than work, because of the "no money" problem! So no current news on my social life! Man, I can't wait to start studying again! As much as I hate the pressure to do good, I still love it; the experiences are all that I will remember the rest of my life.

In high school, i've seen the best and the worst of things...

• I've skipped school to go out with friends
• I've played in a few sports
• I've entered a few competitions, in which i've emerged victorious, and also accepted defeat...
• I've experience guys trying to get my attention, but failed!
• I've experienced watching a friend I have so much respect for now dying
• I've experienced attending VIP galas with mom's connections
• Watching awesome piano recitals
• Working as a Food & Beverage hostess
• Being hit on by old, fugly guys who think they are all that, but---
• Also being hit on by cute guys, and rejecting them for God-knows-why (that's my issue i'm tryin' to deal with!)
• Working here at a production company, awaiting freshman year!

There's much more actually! Now I can see that i've indeed experienced a few things...but not what i've been expecting. I'm 20 now, and hope to experience the things I want to.

May it be so...

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