Monday, December 06, 2010

What I Have Learnt So Far...

Monday, December 06, 2010

You know, it's amazing what 3 months can do to a person. For one thing, I have become different in a sense...my colleague told me she has actually seen a transformation in me; from the first time I ever presented my task, to now. I have become more outspoken & more confident.

I was and am always shy when it comes to strangers. However, when it comes to doing a presentation or a job, I guess I was always quiet when it comes to giving opinions and input. I am sometimes drowned in a sea of outspoken human beings, and I have put this forward to my superiors...but I guess the months I spent in training has trained me for the better. I am more focused and structured. I consciously make the effort to see things from a bird's eye view, rather than from a smaller perspective...

Wow...as much as I have heard the first batch of MTs talk and complain about how hard it is and how they are always facing challenges...I think I am going to see it in a different angle. I see it as a way to practice on my problem-solving skills. And of course, I can gain experiences and know what I can or cannot repeat. You see, what I've learned as well is...

Everything you go through depends on YOU; on your ATTITUDE...you can whine and bitch and complain about how life is unfair...but YOU have the power to make it how you want it to be. They chose me for my attitude...coz honest to God, I had no skills whatsoever...hahahaa!

Slowly, I am trying to be a better me. I have a lot of things to change about myself; my messiness, my structure of thoughts, etc.

What I am really proud of though...is that I'm NOW a punctual person (at work, ok!). If I ain't early...I'm on time! And that is waaaaay better, TTYTT!

What else? Oh yeah, I have met one or two people here who are my peers...they have that feeling of 'entitlement', thinking that they are higher/greater than certain people - like the technicians, advisors or salespeople...I say, with this attitude...you might go somewhere in life, but when tough times come about, nobody will be there to help you. Again, ATTITUDE...what I don't understand is how they could even consider themselves so great when they haven't even performed...and yet, act so arrogantly towards those they consider 'lower' than themselves.

That is why, I shall pull myself back from these types of people...I don't like being around negative/toxic people...thank you very much!

However, if I could tell you about the good people I'm mixing with, I could write for days...I am lucky that there are more good peeps than bad. I am happy here in training. I don't know what the future holds, but I sure will enjoy all I can NOW...but absorb as much as I could for now (and also as long as I live).

I am also considering furthering my studies...I think I would love to get an MBA. No, scratch that...I WANT and MBA. Maybe, if possible...I would go register next year or 2012 (if it's not the apocalypse, heheheh!)

Man, this is quite long...I wanna write a lot more, but I think I should go to sleep now.

PS: I am the official mode of entertainment among my colleagues. The stories they tell of me...is like when M tells the story of my 'gelabah-ness'...faham-faham sendiri ye? Hahahaha...

Toodlez, bitches!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I Wanna Be XO...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I know it has been a long time...but here I am, typing every thought which is in my head...don't think of it as anything important, coz I sure can write some crazy stuff when I don't filter it...so don't take it as me being conceited or anything like that, k?

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Is it wrong to wanna be extraordinary? What does it take? Does it require you to give up an area of your life which people deem as important?

All I ever wanted since I was young was to be different. To be somebody. To give my parents all I can...so that they can say all their sacrifices had been worth it. To give my sisters the big house, all the things they want and need...and more!

Can I achieve this? I really want to, but I don't know if I have it in me...and I surely need God to be with me all the way. Coz in this world, nobody is gonna give you what you want...in this world, you're gonna have to get out there and take it! Coz you can get whatever the hell you want, as long as you have the courage to receive it.

This past few months have been awesome in terms of learning and absorbing...as I keep telling people...I'm basically a sponge...and I hope I keep learning throughout my whole life...

Another thing is, I know I always say this, but sometimes I feel so miniscule, so minute in this universe...like I am a part of something bigger...just like everyone else...I feel that we are all connected...we are of the same web. Weird, I know...but yeah, it's how I feel. Geez, this is so random...

Ok...a weird story, as per below:

I saw this young man in the training center I go to. I don't know, but he kept staring at me and my friends intensely for a long time. Then, a few days later...I saw him again while I had to go to the bathroom...they were renovating the one nearby, so I had to go to the one far away...and there he was, walking behind me. I didn't think of anything at that moment...

Fast forward to a few hours later, he accidentally opened our door...and probably mistakenly came into our training room. We laughed (all of us, coz he was pretty panicked, AND it was funny!) All of a sudden, I felt something inside me say, "OMG...it's him!!!", and I felt this intense feeling in the pit of my stomach...like something crazy was going on and I felt confused and shit...

I for one, don't know what the hell it means, but it was like I was waiting for this guy to come into my life or something...yes, it was that BIG ok! Soooo intense, that I became super quiet and anxious all of a sudden. It fuckin' freaked me out...and no, it wasn't like I had a crush on this guy coz I sure haven't seen him enough to be crushing on him. But the feeling was like I knew him...even though I'm sure I don't. Hmmm, like we've met before...even though I'm sure we haven't!

So, the moral of the story is...I love this program so far coz it's full of learning experiences...and the other is...I'M A CRAZY NUT!!!

Ok. The end. For now.

Monday, November 01, 2010

November Rain...

Monday, November 01, 2010

I'm not writing about the song...just thought since it's November and all...why not!

My previous post was about a book presentation...and what do you know? Fast forward to a month later, and I'm writing about my 2nd book review presentation!!! Damn, time passes by too quickly, and I can't believe I didn't blog this past few weeks...wow!

A lot has happened...one of the main thing is I hit a milestone...the first milestone for a newbie like me...I purchased my first asset...a car! Mind you, it's a starter car...the most basic and affordable! It's white, solid white...and I've named him Mikey...short for Michael, heheheh! Hell, you could even call him Mike if you like!

What can I say...I didn't plan to get one, but since I NEED one, and my work requires me to travel everywhere...a lot!!! I HAD to buy one so as to not give my family anymore stress! I've been making things hard for them, I just couldn't handle it anymore...the same goes for them...they couldn't handle waiting for me, sending me...it's just a waste on fuel and time! BUT, I get staff rates...that's what I'm happy for most of all...

Mikey is a good car...and finally, I get to choose what station I want, what CD to listen to, and go wherever, whenever (not quite WHENEVER though) I want...

What else? Oh, another book review presentation in front of managers and GMs and maybe CEO this Thursday...and guess what? I haven't ven finished reading the book! Fuck! I can do it, I can do it! The previous presentation was fine, but I was one of the last ones, so everyone was pretty much jaded...and this time, we drew lots...and I got one of the last ones yet again! FUCK!!!

I know I could finish on time...but will I make give a high impact presentation? Only time will tell...would I blog any time soon? Only my sheer will would guide me, lol!

One thing...I love this blog!!! Coz you are my sole witness to everything that's in my life...anything I went through, you know! And for that...I thank God for the internet...

...Amen!!!

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Book Review Arrrrggghhh!!!

Sunday, October 03, 2010

You think it's over, those varsity days of assignments...then you become a management trainee and your 1st presentation is to present a book review to the 7 GMs and a CEO of the company.

AARRRGGGHHH!!! Shitdamncrap!!!

Ok. Done.

God bless!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Wow!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Didn't I just write about men who would just buck-up and tell a girl how they feel? That's exactly what happened to me these past few days...unbelievable! I admire him for being brave and taking the first step...ok, so I actually respect him for his actions, but that doesn't mean we're an item now! I'm just acknowledging that there are men who are man enough to go after what they want...it gives a girl a sense of optimism and hope! :P

God bless that boy...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Is It A Weakness...or Strength?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A few days ago, we had this trainer come in to teach us a few things...he was amazing; an older gentleman, with years...I mean YEARS of experience. He's huge around the region, the US, UK and Australia. He was the one who assessed us Management Trainee hopefuls during the 2-day assessment. Mind you, there were 2 sessions for this. The first one was earlier this year. I was in the 2nd one in August.

He taught us many things and told us countless inspirational stories to motivate us and teach us that if it is to be a reality, it will be up to us...the line goes like this, "IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME". This line helped him during a dark period of his life, where an old sage told him to buck up and be what he wants to be. It really affected us all...coz look what has become of this trainer...he has achieved many things, trained countless MNCs, and about 60,000 people!!!

The last day of training, at the last session, he made us do this activity...the finale! He made each person stand in front and be complimented by each and every person. So you can imagine me giving countless sincere compliments...like one-on-one, eye contact and hugging...while giving a good, sincere good quality compliment to one person at a time!

I was the last one...you know how I hate compliments, but he says that you can't say NO or shake your head...you just had to nod and say thank you! THIS, ladies and gentleman...this affected me tremendously!

In the end, 11 out of 15 of the MTs started shedding tears, and I just couldn't help myself! I immediately started crying after a few of my close colleagues (now my friends) gave me sincere compliments...the others too, each hugged me or held my hand, looked into my eyes and said that I could achieve great things, that I was a kind person...that I was beautiful, etc.

All these years I never believed it! All the years passed by me telling everyone else that they were beautiful, but I hadn't realized that EVERYONE is...and that includes ME! Sometimes I forget all the hard and negative crap that I've been through growing up because I sort of erased them from my memories and just leave them behind...but the nasty comments given to me stuck at the back of my head. Telling me I'm not good enough, although countless of times I've been told otherwise.

This session helped me realize that what I was doing was wrong. I am beautiful like everyone else. I just never believed people could perceive me that way. Until that day...

In the end, the session was done...and he asked each of us to sum up what we had gained from this training...I was last again...and though some had traces of tears while they explained what exactly they had learned, when I started to talk...I actually choked-up and couldn't even finish a sentence...bugger! I showed everyone my vulnerability...they embraced me and that made me so overcome with emotions even more. What had this done to meeeee??? I basically was holding back from crying, making it even more obvious that I was crying!

LMAO...this was a breakthrough, people! I have NEVER cried in public! NEVER...wow! And I saw that the trainer was gonna cry as well...it was such a positive moment where all you could feel was love around you. I know it sounds like some hippie movement, but that's truly how it was. Saying goodbye (not the last time we'd be meeting him though!), I couldn't just shake his hand, I went ahead and gave him a big old hug! AND that's why he's who he is!

Anyway, truth be told...I truly treasured this session and it made all of us closer...I think this organization could achieve greatness if training for self-growth is given. For now, I think they are spoiling us with these lessons. In a good way!

Dare I say it, I'm looking forward to going for "training" every day! Could I love my job? Only God knows...but I think I'm heading with the right attitude...Amen!

And God bless Mr. Trainer (I won't reveal his name) for teaching me lessons, not only about management skills...but about life too!

-___-

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Why can't some people just come out and say it? Why do they need to create an elaborate game plan just to attain something they're not even sure of? It seems funny to me why this happens...it looks so forced and unnatural to me, and I hate it!

Stop wasting your time...be a man! Most of us aren't complicated, and I'm not those girls who like playing games.

Ok...totally out-of-the-blue, but it's what I wanna say for now.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

DAMN FOOLSSS!!!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Ok...so I got into the Dean's List. They sent me a certificate. They wrote on the envelope, "Jangan lipat/Do not fold!"

Then some idiots at the post office or maybe the postman goes on and folds it...I open it in anger. It is so crumpled-up like a tissue paper...I become the Hulk! Fuck you...my first (and last) time getting this honor, and the idiot spoils it!!!

-___-

Sorry, but for someone like me who has never gotten into the Dean's List...I am pretty jakun+excited...so don't blame me for getting a little nuts...k? Thanks!

Idiot postman!!!

Holidays...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Well, here's one thing I'd never thought I'd have this early on...a four-day holiday! Heheh...well, so far...it's been good! Challenges await me, but I'm ready! I'm eyeing the Marketing Department...just because I relate to it so much. It's strategy, long-term planning, delegating, communicating to the advertisers, intermediary to the mother organization and its subsidiary...it's more ME! But...early on I see others eyeing that department, too!

I don't know if they started assessing which MT goes to which dept yet...but then again, we've only been here for about 2 weeks. The hard part hasn't even started yet! On my part, I have to read this awesome book by the Harvard Business Review...okay, so I haven't done anything, but I know it's a great book that I would enjoy reading!

Not even receiving my first paycheck, and my Mom is already planning what I may or may not pay for... -____- Okay, so I WILL pay for some utilities here...I always said I would! BUT please don't go planning for me to pay for things and buying this-and-that when I'm only a week in...

Hmmm, there never fails to be a sort of pressure with Mom...I know that she hates that I took this job, since there's no way in 3 years I would be working for the diplomatic corps (see what I did there? Hahhaahha...genius!!!) :P

Another thing is the need of a car! I NEED one!!! So far, I've been going to and from work by driving Dad's car coz my sister is on a 2-week break. After this, she'll have to send me to work again! It's hard and it's such a waste on petrol...I've already broken down my pay in case I get a car...it's gonna be a challenge, but one I'm willing to take! Even the toll is about RM10 a day...their travel allowance is just enough for a month's worth of toll.

Wow, somebody needs a pay hike asap! I will do a great job and get a pay hike within 6 months...this is my short-term goal!!! I know that I can't get it within 4 months because I'll be in training...but I will try AFTER that. ;P

So...what else? Oh, everyone in my batch is somehow attached or engaged to be married...this makes me realize that I am the odd one out...I don't even state my status...just gonna leave it at that and let them guess all they want...know what? I've been so lucky in so many areas of my life...I have accepted that I'm just unlucky in ONE area...I have come to terms with this; there is no man who will ever make my dreams come true...coz what I want is a fairytale which doesn't exist. I have built this man in my head so high, that no actual person could ever fulfill this dream...well, nobody asked me to dream this BIG, right? It's just me dreaming big like I always do (well, it's not like I'm the perfect girl anyway...hehehe! ), coz Oprah always tells us to "Dream big!"...and this is something that I couldn't do any other way! :)

Also, I miss my home in the Philippines...when any of my relatives from Guagua message me on Facebook, I am instantly taken back to the paddy fields...the jeepney rides in the village...the family...I remember the boat ride we took, exactly like in one of my dreams...it was just wonderful! This is the very reason I believe in LoA...so far it has worked tremendously for me.

The trip to Paris was my ultimate LoA dream as well, but I think now is not the time...doesn't mean I'll never get there...I sent a letter of resignation to my lecturer, and he sent a heartfelt reply. No matter what, I will try my best to get them at least ONE sponsor...a good one! I really miss taking French classes with my friends...when you leave, it's not the lessons that you remember...it's the memories! AND I'm glad that I have created memories with the people I love...no matter what happens, I'll always have photographs and keepsakes from the 3 years we've spent together (and some I've known for longer ;P).

Wow, it's been so long since I've written a long, brain-extracting post! Voila...

I don't expect anyone to read this, but it's so cathartic for me to write what I'm feeling. I will certainly read this post in the future, feeling the same emotions...God bless!

Monday, September 06, 2010

So Much Has Happened...

Monday, September 06, 2010

I can't believe it...the time has passed so quickly...and all this while I haven't updated my journal...how can this be? I miss you...I miss coming here and typing everything in my head...where no judgment passes me...all the words just lie here in a vacuum of the blogosphere!

I am currently working...yes, I AM WORKING!!! OMG...I didn't say it earlier because I didn't wanna jinx it, but who needs to say anything when you have a mother who practically broadcasts everything on her Facebook wall??? I am laughing now, but when she did it at the time, I was so freakin' mad and embarrassed...well, the past is past...fast forward to now...I did get the job, and I'm now undergoing training!

What's mad is I have joined the automobile industry...which is something I have never thought of joining...but whoever said the Taurus sign isn't flexible...eat your heart out!!! This is a total 180 for me in every way! Cars...I have to eat, sleep and breathe cars...I am actually looking forward to this...hahaha, especially the part where I will be attached as a technician! OMG...ganassss aka fierce!!! LMAO!!!

Okay, so it's been a few days of ups and downs, but I have been warned that the coming weeks are gonna be hell...I'm freakin' ready...ready for anything you wanna give me!!!

I shall note my day-to-day activities if I can...one of the trainers said it's good to keep notes, so you don't forget...or maybe a few years down the road, you can read it again and remember the good and bad of your past experiences. For now...those other MTs are my friends, and I'm sure we're gonna grow together. Please be with us, God!

And as for the trip to Paris...as much as I want to go...I am bonded to the organization which hired me...I have 4 months of training, in which I can't take leave...so I sent in my resignation and pulled out of the trip...much to my sadness. But I can';t do anything but support my friends who are lucky enough to join the trip...please do it, and live my dream for me... :D

What else? Oh, I might get a car soon...might get staff price without waiting a year since we're bonded for 3 freakin' years!!! Muahahah, I don't want one, but I NEED one! It's just impossible to borrow Dad's car all the time! Impossible! Hey, even if I don't get the staff price...I NEED one... :(

Till the next post...I'm fuckin' sleepy...it's 12 am...OMG, I'm becoming normal!!! :-0

Friday, August 20, 2010

Evil...

Friday, August 20, 2010

It's evil; this new phenomenon of dumping babies, aka infanticide. It's becoming rampant here in Malaysia, and I'm not gonna sugar-coat it: almost every day, you will see at least one report on a newly-born baby being dumped...they are either dead, alive, or barely alive. Some are half-eaten by bugs...some are foetuses (among the garbage) who never had a chance.

Why is this happening? Some groups think it's because of free-socializing amongst teens during "Western" celebrations such as New Year's Day...WTF? Yeah, blame it on celebrations and integration...it's so typical! It's so in-your-face and clear: the reason is the lack of sex education amongst the young...all because SEX is taboo! AND, the stigma that comes with teen pregnancies (or babies born outside of wedlock). Come on and open your eyes...teenagers are doing it; they're having sex whether it's against religion or not...they simply are! Asian values? What does that even mean? Does that mean that Asians don't have sex? If only you were open-minded enough to realize it and not hide behind a veil of denial...then we could nip this issue in the bud!

I guess I'm just pissed! Pissed that this issue is happening everyday! These are lives...humans lives...newly-born babies!!! I'm not even saying I'm Pro-Life or against Pro-Choice (or some of those American politicized stances people there tend to take). I'm just a human being trying to make sense of this. The Malaysian gov is now considering harsh punishments for parents who commit infanticide...is this what we have become?

Sometimes, I see Malaysia going far...but at times such as this, I see us left far, far behind due to a few bad apples. After all, you're only as strong as your weakest link! What we need is open minds and open debate, not blame-games and minds stuck in the Dark Ages...

Okay...I'm done venting! Sorry lah...I'm just mad right now...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How did I get so lucky in life? I thank God every single day for being this way...charmed! I may not have been born with a silver-spoon in my mouth, but I have the best family I could ever dream of...the best friends who are the best people ever...and the basic things you need to survive...AND I am blessed!

I've always prayed to God to show me the way to what I want to achieve...you see, I have the vision and goal, but I don't know how to get there! It was always holding me back. My parents, as lucky as I am to have them always seem to put high expectations...and here I am, an average Jane...a grain of sand...a piece of clay waiting to be moulded!

I sometimes wonder what else can I do or learn to make myself better; Learn another instrument? Learn more about computer-languages? Learn how to fly? Well...I suppose I could learn everything but it's more about self-perception.

I'm slowly learning that there must be something within us...as well as something we all were put here to achieve. And from what I think, it's all up to us to dream...we create our vision for the future...but God blesses the road we take.

I know it all seems sudden...but I always wonder what I did to deserve such a fortunate journey...all I can do now is thank God and live every moment the way I want to live it...

Thank you, God for finally giving me the "brick" I needed! I'm only waiting for my new phase to begin.

Amen.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Today's The Day!

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Today is the day I graduate...I'm so freakin' scared, and I don't know why! Guess it's because it's the end of a phase in my life.

Ever had that feeling of fear of the unknown, yet a slight hint of excitement follows? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling now. I have finally hit that "SEND" button for 2 job advertisements...and hell, I've been meaning to these past few months, but I've been stalling due to certain wants...

I guess there's no longer a reason NOT to apply now...is there? I'm gonna do it; gonna start looking for a job. I just needed a few months of pure sloth so that I could take a break for awhile, you know?

I know for a fact that I will never be this 'free' anymore once I start...it's gonna be work, work, work and more work! So at least I could say that I've spent time with my family.

The one thing I'm scared about is the ceremony itself...everyone's so caught up with being perfect, I'm afraid I'd stick out like a sore thumb in terms of being under-done! Man...some people are going to salons just to do their hair and makeup...and all I have is my straightening iron!

Hehehe...well, there's nothing left to do...I've taken the odor-horrible robe to the dry-cleaner's and got it cleaned...at least I won't smell like an onion gone bad!!! :P God, I hope I don't forget any necessary items...

For now, all I can do is hope I don't screw-up! And while we're at it...I also wanna have fun!

But most of all...I just wanted to say congratulations to all my friends who are graduating with me coz you know I wouldn't have had such a great journey without you...love you guys and thank you for being my friends and sticking with me all this while despite my flaws.

Hoping we grow into better people is what I really want for all of us...and happiness throughout our lives as well.

Here's hoping we have an awesome graduation!!! Class of 2010, bitches...yeehaw!!!

PS: More emoting still to come...stay tuned!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

One Thing To Cross-out...

Sunday, July 25, 2010

It's almost like an obsession...this need to play the guitar everyday at 4-5 in the morning. I know it's sick, but it sort of gets me to a different place. One, because nobody is here to hear it...just me. So no pressure. Second, it's more like a proud moment every time I play a song just because it's self-taught. Thirdly, it's so I don't get rusty.

It's not like I'm great...matter of fact, I can only play the major important chords that could make all kind of songs. You'd be amazed on the amount of songs you could play just by knowing a few chords.

Now the best thing is...I don't have to search for chords online coz I could just write down the chords of a song by myself and transpose the song to another key...with easier chords...

Mom heard me playing a song the other day (The Bends by Radiohead...I wrote the chords myself...and it sounds correct...yay!!!) and said, "Wow, you can play...I'm so proud!" like as if I played like Slash or Jimi...hahahahah! But I'm not afraid to play in front of her and my sisters. If I were to play in front of my dad, however...I'd be scared as shit!!!

My sister told my dad that I play real good and I should give her ex-bf (now her friend) lessons...I flatly denied and called her a liar just so I wouldn't have to play in front of Dad. Hahahaha...that's "intimidation" for you!

BUT...whatever it is...I am happy to state that this is one thing I can cross-out in terms of what I can do...

You see, I made a list a long time ago (age 15-16 or so)...and you know what...I've done almost all of it! So, after I learn ONE computer language, travel, take up photography AND get my writing published (somewhere), I'll write a new one!!! :D

At least I can say for certain that I finish what I start...and that ain't a bad thing!!!

Man, the thousands of things I wanna do...I think I should start that list now coz I know for sure that certain goals, such as getting published is like asking for the moon...hehehe!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Parotidectomy...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

That's what my sister's surgery is called...and the latest news on my sister's operation is as follows. I'm just documenting this so that it may help someone else who may have this surgery...

According to her x-ray scans, she was supposed to have a superficial tumor on her parotid gland...turns out it was a deeper tumor...one that went through her facial muscle...so you might say that it was deeper than expected. The assumed 2-4 hour surgery became a little longer than 5 whole hours!!! Imagine our worried faces...they started at 2-something pm...the latest she should've been back in her room was at 6pm. It's 8pm and she's still not back!!! Imagine...

Thank God her there were 2 surgeons at hand...there wasn't supposed to be an extra surgeon, but looks like it worked in her favor, coz my sister's surgeon did not expect it to be that complicated. As he explained...they had to stretch her cheek-muscle, do many suctions and not destroy the nerve which connects 5 facial area movements. It was successful...but it weakened the left side of her face...and although she can't move one side of her face that much for now, she will be able to in a week or two...

...but now comes another part to worry about.

Since this was a deeper tumor, they have to run tests to see whether it (the tumor) came from the nerve...if it did, they would have to remove the nerve on her face, since it would only grow more tumors in the future...they would have to graft a nerve from her leg...sort of transplanting your leg nerve to your face, which would result in months of physiotherapy...and the doctor also explains that she might not be able to move every muscle of her face as before...this, my dears is the worst-case scenario. I can't sleep thinking of this. As my sister hears the doctor, I try my best not to show any signs of worry just so she won't panic or cry. But she was strong and took it like a trooper!

Man, now all of us are praying that it's NOT from the nerves...we pray that it's just a random tumor and that's that! The doctor kept saying "we are praying that it's not coming from the nerve..."

Well, so are we, doctor! So are we...

...coz if it is just some random tumor...my sis will have a full recovery and won't have to worry about anything else except keeping healthy! And as a realistic optimist...I know that God will always be there for her and for us too. May she obtain an "all-clear" from the results and her doctor soon...Amen!

For now, we're all traveling to and from the hospital all the time. She had to remain warded an extra day due to some complications. So it's like 3 days in a hospital jail for her, the poor thing! She will come home later today...at least that's we're hoping!

God bless her, the rest of my family and friends...and their loved ones as well...AMEN!!!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Operation Countdown...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

My sister (the 20-year old one) has another cyst...this time on the corner of her face. She has to go for surgery tomorrow. The poor thing, I hope it all goes well. She's really strong...she showed be the probable scar that will be left, and it's actually kinda hardcore...from the ear, along the jawline...to the bottom of her ear till the neck...

You'd think it's huge...it is. But I think it'll fade off nicely just coz her doctor is an ENT specialist, so he's bound to know how to close the incision rather nicely.

Man...some things you just wished would happen to you (I mean ME) instead...she's had too many surgeries at 20 years of age...first two were the tumors on her breast. :(

One thing to be thankful for: It's benign...

Anyway, God give her strength to pull through...we will always always always be there for the original "Princess of the house". Perhaps she might work the scar and make it seem like a fashion statement, like her huge-ass tattoo (hehehe)...at least till one of us could afford plastic surgery. Yeah...the jokes...as usual, to cover my nervousness...i'm nervous for her, okay? I know...not cool!

Actually, after checking it out (I checked Google...where else?), the scar would seem unnoticable in 6 months due to the sutures done underneath the skin, whereas the skin would be sealed using 'Dermabond'...a glue-like substance commonly used for facial surgery...so I hope it all goes well. We're more worried about her facial nerves.

It's rather risky, the tumor is connected to the parotid gland, which is connected to the 5 nerves which control her facial movements...one slight mistake and she might not be able to do certain facial movements...so, of course...this is our main concern!

God, please let the surgery be a success!!!

Amen.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Oh What A Week!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

WARNING: A depressing post...

It's been a rather sucky week...

First of all...I had to vent about my mom not supporting me and shit like that...but that was that. A rant! But I took the post out as fast as I posted it just because it wasn't me talking as much as it was my own resentment. I feel so sorry and guilty for it now...my mom has been the most supportive person in my life...and maybe this is just one part she wouldn't let go because she saw a glimmer of me finishing her unattainable ambition?

Maybe...but I shouldn't let my bitterness out as I did...I would just have to show her I can make it without going her pathway for me...I put my future in God's hands, whatever it is. I always wanted to achieve something big...to leave with a legacy bigger than myself. But it all depends on God and my own effort. We'll see how it happens though...

Secondly, My dear Uncle J has been confirmed to have a very aggressive form of cancer...which has now spread to his bones...and as he came to the house for a visit, my dad found out his brother, Uncle C had been found to have cancer...lung cancer. Both these men came over the same day. Uncle C's stage is unknown, and tests are currently being done while treatments to kill the cancer cells have begun. It was an extremely sad day for me, my family and the families of the brave men...

Earlier that day, my godfather called to tell me that his brother had passed away...

Literally one of the worst weeks...ever!

Not just saddening to think that my uncles diagnosed with cancer are just so brave...they even joke about their predicament...even saying that they would meet each other at "the gates"...I was successful in hiding my tears...and so were the rest of my family, except my mother...damn! Just then, Uncle J's eyes were welling-up, but he managed to put on a brave face.

Just goes to show that anything can be taken away...you never know when your loved ones would be taken away. After everyone had left, I just went into the bathroom to cry...thinking that cancer is such a death sentence if found too late...I prayed to God to protect the rest of my family members and friends from this horrible disease...

Then, just the other day I had a horrid dream: I had a dream where I heard my 20-year old sister screaming after answering the phone call in her room. I raced up, thinking the worst...I thought my father was dead...and it turned out Uncle C had died...

Then I woke up! Fucking awful dream coz it felt so real!

So, to sum it up...the past two weeks were filled with bad news...but I pray with all my heart and soul that God gives these men the strength and courage to go through it all...same goes to those around them. From what I see, my uncles are the ones consoling family members instead of the opposite...

Life goes on though...we just have to pull through...then again, it's easier said than done, right? All we can do is try our best.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Toy Story 3 & Phases That Matter...

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I watched Toy Story 3 with my sisters, and I gotta say...despite it being an animation...it really struck a chord...coz friends matter...no matter what you think, no matter how you could handle being alone...they matter. So people who take friends for granted...don't kid yourself!

*SPOILER ALERT*

We see Andy about 10 years since Toy Story 2...he's going off to college and the toys are afraid that they'd never be played with again...and as far as adventures go, they've had a few...and of course, a few toys were left along the way...but we also get to meet new additions...I love the Peas in a Pod Plushies...so friggin' cute!!!

A few parts were hilarious (Buzz in Spanish-mode...Buzz and Jessie ftw!!1)...and many parts were sad and touching. Arrgghhhh...Disney-Pixar should win an Oscar for this story not just because it's flawless in terms of animation, but the storyline affect children and adults in different aspects. That's what great movie-making is all about when it comes to family genres. I'm so happy for the toys...but yeah, you've gotta keep a Kleenex handy for quite a number of instances...the-incinerator part, and the Andy-saying-goodbye part...they damn nearly killed me. My three year old sister (of course) couldn't yet comprehend these parts (wait till she's older...is she in for a surprise!), but my 20-year old sis did...it's just good writing, and you could tell that the creators loved this project! It was projected throughout the movie.

Yes, it's a movie...NOT a cartoon! A grade-A movie!

...of course, you should watch the first two parts of the saga to be able to fully comprehend the movie. The first two are not as 'tug-at-your-heart' as this one though... :P

It's been awhile since I've written here...lot's of things happened, but what I'm writing about is something I'd never thought I'd write till a few years down the road...someone I know very well is getting married...I don't wanna say who since this person told me not to tell anyone just yet...so there!

But...I just gotta say...I feel happy for this person and this person's partner. I've never felt anything much when it happened to other people coz they didn't matter much to me. But since it's happening for someone so close to me, I felt an instant tug at my heart. Fuck, I'm happy but I kinda feel like a parent whose child is going away, or a sibling that's left because all her brothers/sisters have gone off to college...that's EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now. As much as I want us to remain young, we can't...life goes on and we change even if we try not to...people change! And those that matter stay in your life despite all the changes.

Well, the theme for this post is exactly what TS teaches us...despite everything...

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME...or HAY UN AMIGO EN MI (en espanol!)...hehehe! Thank you Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Bullseye, Rex, Mr & Mrs Potato-head, Slinky, Ham (aka Pork Chop), the Aliens and the rest of the gang (you didn't think I'd name them all did you? Lol!)

Toodlez, bitches!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

A Prayer...

Saturday, June 12, 2010

My very close "Uncle J"; a family friend, and my little sister's godfather told us he had a very aggressive form of prostate cancer and has to go for chemo...damn! Doctors gave him about a year...

What can you say to someone who tells you this? My mom just started crying on the phone. I thank God I wasn't there at that time...and I'm sure glad it wasn't me who had to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

I am devastated...I hope everyone's prayers give him the courage and strength to pull through it all...and I pray that God wills him to stay more than the 1-year period the doctors had given him. God, only thy will be done. Please hear our prayers. Amen.

Coz he's a musician, his fellow performers are gonna organize a charity event...so I hope this shows him that his comrades care for him and I truly hope my baby sister will grow up with Uncle J around...coz I find him to be a wise man, quiet...but wise!

I hope I would come back in the future to write nothing but good news of his treatment. Amen!

Too Many Stories...But Only This To Tell!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I know for a fact that I have lots to say or talk or write about, coz a lot has happened in the past few weeks...a lot!

But all in all, it was just great...nothing more, nothing less...guess the minute details will just have to remain in my memories coz I just don't know what to write about, heheheh! From th not-so-reunion (coz I wasn't even in the range of classmates...but I knew some of them), to the spontaneous trip to my friend's kampung (since over a year ago), to outings with my sisters...right up to tonight's freak-filled drive with the middles sister and "adopted" sister...lol!

Ok...hope there will be more stuff going on.

I thank God for everything in my life every single day. I'm happy because my parents and sisters seem happier...my parents don't argue like they used to...and I'm seriously happy because of this.

My mom and dad are super-stoked that I'm graduating...with mom always posting stuff about my "achievement" on her Facebook wall...much to my embarrassment! Ok, being the first child, I guess I could understand the pride of being their first child who completes their studies...I thought my mom was too much; my dad told EVERYONE! Okaaaaaaay...done!

I really enjoyed hanging out with the CS gang...it's like we never separated...the moment we got together...it was non-stop chatting for hours...thanks F...I swear, I had so much fun despite just being there for "1 hari 1 malam"...

It's football season now...and I want Argentina to win!!! Yeah...but if they should go out early on, I would support Germany...coz ich liebe deutschland sometimes, hehehe....and it's not because of Tokio Hotel ok!!! I supported Germany during the previous FIFA...then switched to Italy during the finals...

K, maybe I'm talking about too many things...so I best get a move on and switch my ass from this chair to the TV couch!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Results Are In...

Saturday, June 05, 2010

I won't go into details, but I'm glad all the late nights and sacrifices had been worth it! I'm not really happy about the other papers (attained a B for one paper)...but I guess it's ok! If only I had this GPA for the previous semesters, then I'd be happily accepting a degree with Distinction...but I guess "with Honors" will do just fine.

My parents are saying they're so proud of me, though I keep saying it's no biggie...I didn't get outstanding grades, just average like most people...what I'm most proud of is that I did my best for my thesis, and it showed...

I'm happy that my friends got good grades as well...and ALL OF US will be taking our scrolls together...we have done it, guys! I'm proud of us not because of our CGPAs (but I guess it's okay if you wanna count them, lol!)...I'm proud because we have gone through all sorts of crap...and it served as lessons and as a preview of the real world we are about to enter into. The world where everything is a race, and our wages or employment depend on it.

Very soon, some of you might get married and have kids...some of you might build an empire...some of you might just be the next pioneer of some great team...some of you might just be an individual trying to make ends meet, but one thing we all have in common is that we are working to provide ourselves food, shelter and clothes on our backs not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones...

I hope to remember that in order to achieve my dreams, I have to just take a moment to be grateful for what I have...my wonderful parents. God has truly blessed me, for I could have easily been born into a family without proper regard for education...without love...without good principles...I could have stopped schooling and become a hooker walking the streets at night...I could have been a nobody, begging for money on the streets...but God put me in this family, and now I am graduating with a thesis in which, amazingly got an A (I hope it wasn't a mistake or something...that would just kill my mom who told the whole world...lol, go figure! You know mothers!!!).

I am graduating with a 2nd-class upper honors (2:1)...yeah, it might be something mediocre...but hey, a lot of mediocrity is bound to produce some extraordinary achievements, right? So my friends...with all the optimism of a fresh grad...I wish you all the best! Take failure as lessons, and achievements with humility...I hope to one day meet you again as leaders, mothers, pioneers, moguls, and the like...then, in all your greatness I shall remind you of our times in campus...all of 'em...

PS: I'll always "remember" coz everything is documented in this blog...hahahaha!

Monday, May 31, 2010

OK Go!

Monday, May 31, 2010

So what's been happening? Nothing much, really...just a few outings, since I've been starting to get bored at home.

I finally met one of my bestie's bf...and you know what? I guess he's ok. Well, he hasn't spoken that much since the girls did most of the talking. But ok, I shall cease to comment on him. From what I saw yesterday, she was very happy and in love with the guy. So I'll keep my mouth shut...

Well, he did keep teasing her because she was on the plump side...but I told him straight... "Hey, she's a very beautiful girl, and you're damn lucky to have her as your gf..." Hahaha...sorry, I just can't stand guys who talk down on people...he was ok throughout, but I am kinda protective of my friends...

We watched Prince of Persia...and we had a blast! Firstly, because it was your average blockbuster movie which was absolutely fun to watch...it won't win an Oscar, but hell yeah it was fun! And Jake Gyllenhaal was freakin' hot OMG! Hottt!!! The Princess reminds me of a younger Monica Bellucci...right???

Anyway...went to the usual "Where to now?" phase and ended up laughing our asses off at the local mamak joint! Had a blast, and well...sorta got to talking about some stuff and P plans to get a console for her bf...I would definitely go to her house everyday if she bought one...LMAO!

Btw, W...I think I'd prolly give you a hard time for dropping my coke...it'll be a running gag just like the 'anney' aka your boyfriend! Hahahaha...

Today...went shopping to look for stuff for mom...all the 3 and a half women of the house. Baby enjoyed it a lot since we took her to Playland where she got to ride all sorts of...uhhh, rides...and Mom bought her a freaing Buzz Lightyear!!! Hahahaha, mom gives dad a hard time for spoiling her, but she was willing to spend RM 150 for a freaking Buzz!!! WTF...

Thank God I found a smaller-sized one which costs RM60!

K, end of story...

PS: I miss my uni friends...I'm happy there's Facebook and blogs! Phones are so boring hahaha...Take care dears! Please keep on updating your blogs coz I never miss your posts...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Freak-out Mode..

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Yeah...I'm the master of freaking out, believe me (just ask my friends...they even gave me a name!)

But all of a sudden, it hit me...and it hit me hard...I have a few months till graduation, and I'm doing zilch! OMG, what the hell am I gonna do? Where am I gonna work? Time is running out, and I've yet to come out with a decision!!!

Fuck...

Ok, so I love writing, and I'd love to travel, I love talking to people, communicating...but yeah, knowing your abilities does NOT make you know your occupation, damnit! What I DO know is, sooner or later, I would like to open my own business. Yes I do not know what yet, but it's nice to be enterprising and really...this is kind of a big thing, but yeah...that's my long-term goal.

For now, I would need to find my calling. OMG...help me and everyone else who remains clueless at times like these...you see, my major is not really specific...it's good for any types of profession; journalism, law, economy, business, etc...what I wish for is for that 'A-ha moment'...that brick on the head...that *BOOM* because I really need to start helping out my family. It's about time I do my part...all I want to do is achieve my dreams while making them proud.

These past few years, I've been very blessed. Sometimes, I think I must've done something good in my previous life or something like that to be this lucky. Everyone does their part...and I just wanna fulfill mine and take care of everyone.

So what I really want is to love my job...to be waking up every morning and looking forward to go to work...that's what I want!!!

Amen...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Too Real...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Ever had recurring dreams...or that of similar images flashing through your mind every now and then?

Well, I have them!!! Those images...those places...those feelings of familiarity. It's as if "THERE" is where I'm supposed to be.

...and yet, I've never seen it (that place) and never seen him...which is what I'm actually waiting for. I've never actually seen this person's face, coz it's always blurry...but I've certainly seen him in a few of my dreams. If I'm not mistaken, I've written about him in a few posts too. It's kinda spooky, but in a good way. I'd like to think that he's looking out for me, even if he's on the other side of the world...

He could be my guardian angel...or my mind's interpretation of God...or maybe me in masculine form...heck, it could be the love of my life for all I know. The only problem is, I don't have a clue WHO he is.

Weird, huh? It's like I'm holding out for something I've known for a long time...it's kinda useless to write about it since I can't seem to describe it.

Hey, I am as realistic as they get...but then again, my imagination keeps me optimistic and somewhat child-like...I'd like to refer to myself as a realistic optimist. I'm optimistic that I'll find out what the hell this recurring image/dream is about.

For now, it's out there! What I want out of this journey is that familiarity...who knows, maybe I knew him from another life...or perhaps a parallel universe? (Which would be awesome, actually!)

If it's just a dream and nothing more...then I'm ok with it too. Somehow, he shows up when I'm having dreams of walking alone. He'll be there holding my hand and guiding me...

Well, this is another useless scribbling...just needed to document this so I won't forget.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Awkward Is How I Feel While Talking To You...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Sometimes, what you see is what you get...no need to analyze. It's just there in your face! No need to analyze the 'deeper' meanings by my selection of book or movies...I just like them coz they're good movies.

No need to ramble on about what makes me like certain types of music...I just do!

No need to ask why I do this or that...I am human and I'm driven by instincts...

No need to philosophize about the world to me...I didn't ask you to.

No need to ask me stuff. I am not a sage, and you are not my pupil!

No need to tell me stuff I don't wanna know coz it makes me feel awkward...don't you have a right/wrong filter in your brain? DO you have a brain?

The filter in my head tells me that I can't tell these things to you coz I have something called sensitivity...which maybe you don't? Guess I'll just have to ignore you then...and no, I don't like you. I'm just being nice...

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Sorry...this is my outlet, people...some people are idiots, that's all! So this is the place where I let it out...

This is pretty much a pointless post...but I'm feeling very much better now!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Baby Is 3!!! Time Sure Flies, Damnit!!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Baby A or 'Bee' as we call her just turned 3 last Monday. After all the apparent plans to celebrate her birthday at McDonald's, Pizza Hut...a bar, even (hahah!!!)...we took a step back and made a 180-degree turn. In the end, we started thinking of the things that would be the best thing for HER...and not us!

She loves animals...hahaha, so they decided to take her to the zoo. I say, GREAT CHOICE!!! I really thought a huge birthday bash was useless because she didn't have that many friends, and all the people would consist of OUR friends...therefore, it wouldn't really be that fun for her, right? They just needed a little clarity.

So we ordered her a Spongebob Squarepants cake...chocolate! We wanted to order one from Secret Recipe, but they didn't have Spongebob...damn! So we just looked around nearby our place for any cakehouse that made Spongebob-design cakes (since time was already running out!)

We took her to the zoo, where she had a blast. Meanwhile, the other sis had a mad insect bite which caused her foot to become humongous! LOL...but she walked like a champ! Well, that's love for ya...

After the trip (in which we sweated cause it was like a sauna in there!!! Thank God I wore shorts!!!), we took the cake to Grandma's house (I hate it there, but no choice...it's all for Baby, so I'll put up with anything!!!)

...we bought some KFC and called all the children over...yeah, my cousins have many children!!! And they were only from one aunt! LMAO...but baby is close to them so i'm glad she had a blast. And despite us (Mom, Dad, me and the middle sister) thinking how horrendous the cake looks, Baby liked it...no, she LOVED it! So if she loves it...means WE love it!!! :D

I'm so glad she had a blast! And she's growing so fast, I'm just enjoying the time; in which I'm lucky enough to watch her grow...man, we love her so much! God has blessed us, and I'm so happy!

Happy 3rd birthday, my dear baby sister...may you have many more to come! God bless you always, little one! :')

Saturday, May 15, 2010

People Who Need People...

Saturday, May 15, 2010

WARNING: Long post!!!

Friendship for me has come a long way. From what I can say, when I was in high school...I felt indifferent towards this concept! I was the quiet one among "The Trio"...yes, they were great! We were always together, we had our good times and we clicked well...but I can't deny that there were times when I felt I didn't belong because they had such different ideals than me. Each couldn't stand NOT getting male attention. They were always going after the boys, and I was left in the lurch. They also didn't like it when boys gave me attention. Although I like boys, I was never boy-crazy...hell yeah I loved admiring and going ga-ga over guys...but I didn't push-away my food when boys came over to talk to me at the table. I didn't lie to my parents to go dating. I didn't do nonsense. And I still don't!

One thing that put me into cynical-mode for some time was this incident:

One of them got herself a boyfriend. She never; not even once, introduced us. I was her so-called 'best friend'...and she never even introduced us after I covered for her all those times...followed her to the phone booth to make those calls to Mr. BF...it's like she didn't acknowledge me at all. After being THAT naive, I realized (someone told me) that she was scared that he'd be attracted to me instead of her...F***!

What? Was she so insecure that she was afraid that I would steal him away or something? As a friend, did she NOT know me? I would never do that to a friend...or even a person for one thing. That's just not who I am! Nobody knows this coz I never told anyone, but I'm finally writing it down...recalling this incident, I feel hurt all over again. My mistake was that I just let it go, pretended I didn't know anything and acted like everything was fine. I can't believe this still affects me...damn!

The current ME would definitely go ape-shizz and go all confrontational towards her, believe me! If the years have thought me one thing; it would be to stand up for yourself and don't sit still and shut up when you feel like you're being wronged!

The final day we said goodbye, I knew in my heart that we would never be the same again...and I was right. The two decided to move in together and fought...because of insecurities...and oh, the main thing...GUYS! Friendship was over between the 2 girls...just like that. How sad...

I emancipated myself by working and exploring other areas...and at work, I've come to find out that I'm more than this "Trio"...I'm finally me! And guess what? I wasn't the quiet one...I realized that I was NEVER quiet, but they were too 'noisy' that my voice disappeared...LMAO!!!

I made great friends when I took my Form 6 (Pre-U) education...but the best was yet to come...

University...it scared the shit outta me!!! I spent my orientation week with my friend from my Form 6 class...and soon enough I made some friends of my own...what can I say? We just clicked! I wouldn't say it was easy, mind you...lol! We did have some confrontations in the beginning, but looking back...I always thank God for helping me find these girls. Guess I was always afraid that I'll be used again. :/

I realized the friends I've made in campus are so different from my supposed best friends in high school...why? Coz they're more like me...family-oriented, they don't judge you by how you seem on the outside...and they don't pressure you to be anyone other than yourself. They believe that beauty is something from within, and material doesn't make who you are. I can say with confidence that these people will be among my lifelong friends...and I'm the type who has been disappointed with those deemed 'besties' in the past. The final day with them I realized that we would be friends always, no matter what (totally different feeling than I had with my high-school buddies.)

Isn't it funny how life works? I'm now best friends with 2 of my primary school friends...my best friends in high school are now 'just friends'-friends, my Form 6 classmates are my good friends, my former-annoying jerk of a classmate is now my friend (and we talks about music and guitars...how weird is that???), and my university besties are my forever-friends...

Well, that's life for you...you meet people, and if you're lucky enough...you become friends. I am lucky to have sincere friends who tell it like it is, not lie or back-stab. I hope God blesses them with nothing but happiness, for though it may seem like I never say it enough...they put my faith back in friendships. Yeah, I was cynical at first...but they proved me wrong!

Therein lies my truth...I love you my dears! Please call me for your weddings, baby showers and such...till we meet, I'll be cherishing our moments in these photographs. :'D

Another truth...never underestimate the practicality of 'layers'. Confused? Ask me...LMAO!

Whew...glad to get that off my chest!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Nooooooooooooo...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I've only realized it now...my favorite bracelet is broken...NOOOOOOO!!!

In my life, I've never gotten attached to any sort of accessory...except this bracelet...it was translucent and brown, where each large "bead" was octagonal and had embossed yin and yang motifs on each side of every piece of bead...

My little sister broke it!!! Nooooo...seriously, didn't realize it till I was on the way out and put on my watch...I reached for the bracelet and saw that a few bead-pieces were shattered. And now I'm sort of in mourning coz it's the ONE thing that reminds me of the trip...and I've never seen anything like it! And I bought it...for myself. I NEVER buy accessories for myself!!! So this says something about this item, right? Sigh!

Plus the fact that I don't ever wear daily accessories unless it's for something special...this Yin Yang bracelet, I wore every time I went anywhere!!!

So rest in pieces, my dear Yin Yang bracelet...I shall miss our times spent together...we've been through a lot, and you've served me well (even though I was sorta wearing you out and you became looser after every wear)...

You shall now be kept in my "vault of forgotten trinkets"...

PS: I don't even know if this is a tribute or a joke...could it be both?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Gucci's Coolest Ad...Ever!!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Okok, you know how I admire aesthetics...as a human being, I love looking at beautiful things such as landscapes, mountains, stars, sea and the sky...all as much as I admire beautiful people...

So I can't help but post this post (does this make sense?) for a cool ad...

...he caught my eye when he acted in this made-for-TV biopic, 'James Dean' and 'Sonny' (watch 'em!!!)...and so when Spider-Man came out and he was the son of Green Goblin, I was totally drooling over him rather than Tobey...LMAO! Also, he just killed me as Saul in Pineapple Express...LMAO! Him and Seth made a great team.

So imagine my awe when this ad for Gucci aired on TV..."Whoah..."


James Franco, coming out of the water in slow-motion, all serious and brooding...in B&W...plus the awesome background music!!! The music, which I find totally epic...made me google it, hahaha...you know me and my curiosity...

I found out it was a cover made by Roisin Murphy...that lady from Moloko, OMG!!! She's so freakin' cool...I totally loved her song, 'Let Me Know' (using a sample of the riff in 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson)...and she covered this song which was originally done by Bryan Ferry called 'Slave To Love'...

So, in essence...awesome male who oozes sex appeal+awesome Nu-Wave song done in a modern way = coolest fragrance ad...ever!!!

Don't even know why I posted something so random...but hey, I've nothing better to do, so why not project my nod for aesthetics seen on TV?

I know, I know...beauty is skin deep and all...but sometimes, you just gotta appreciate beauty that's right in your face, no? It's not like I'm judging his whole character or anything...just appreciating what God gave him, Lol!

PS: James Franco is taking his PhD in Yale...this just upped his appeal in my book...hot, witty AND smart? I hope to God he's not a jackass...Lol!

Saturday, May 08, 2010

UPDATE: Damansara Job...

Saturday, May 08, 2010

I mentioned earlier about this reception job, right? I said it's quite far and all...

Well, I did my research and found out just how mother-effin' far it really is with public transportation as my vehicle...

From my house to the office location, it would take 3 buses, and 2 trains just to get me there...OMG! I thought maybe just a train and a bus...but no, 3 buses and 2 trains...it's not worth it!!! Damn...according to my estimation, just getting there would take about 3-4 hours...so daily, I would travel for about 8 hours...6 hours minimum...I don't even know how frequent are the buses, but yeah...not gonna happen!!! Sorry...i'm gonna call the guy and explain to him! OMG!!!

Ok, the money is sooooo not worth this part-time job...soooo not worth it! It would be different if I was driving, but no, little sister gets the car...and of course, I'm stuck here taking the public transport like I always do...when will I catch a break for once? Sigh...somehow, I'm gonna need to look for a short-term job for my trip!!! Please, God...please!!!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Is This Really Happening?

Thursday, May 06, 2010

WOW!!! OMG IT'S REALLY DONE AND MY VARSITY LIFE IS OVER...OVER, I TELL YA!!!

So...now what? Lemme get to thinking and I'll let me know...yes, you read it...ME! Coz I sure as hell still don't have a plan...my plans went down the drain about a year after my first year at uni...

...damn! Somebody...help. Anybody? OMG...

Okok, the story first...my thesis editing went on like Hell's Kitchen during the periods of chaos...OMG, then there came a time where my MS Word started giving problem because I stupidly did this whole 'page break' thing...so in the end, I couldn't insert page numbers, and A sorta got into the whole mess...It was almost 4pm, and we were supposed to be printing the work already!!! So A offered to let me use her laptop to fix it...but I failed...SHIT!!! And I still had more to do like the references and shit like that! Didn't even proof-read the whole thing!

Thank God A managed to figure it all out and put the pages in for me...sorry coco! I'll always be grateful... :')

Then, we started getting to our destination...A also found out from her friend about this place just outside of campus that makes thesis hard covers in just a day...of course, we had to pay extra, but we didn't care! So we asked the lady and she confirmed this...so we paid about 2 times the price I think...but seriously...I had no regrets...just as long as it was done!

And then we paid almost 90 bucks...that's including printing out 2 copies of the thesis, with multiple reprints because we didn't proof-read our writings, LMAO!!! Now, that was funny...but in the end, we left with a slight feeling of accomplishment!

The next day, I managed to pass it up on the day itself...the 5th of May 2010, in which a huge burden left my shoulders after I signed that final form...I had to go without the partner in crime coz Dad had to use the car so I had to hurry...boo!

Then, as I walked towards the car, it hit me...

"It's over...just like that?"

It felt so surreal...every single time I tell myself that an intensely chaotic period will pass...it does, of course...but this...this whole experience...it's really over! Oh.my.God.

I came home and slept like a baby...seriously been like a zombie running on caffeine and junk. Now I have the chance to cut the intake...hopefully my skin will get better soon...and those inches gained throughout uni will melt away with a new regiment...I hope!!!

Now, I'm supposed to be focusing on this work thing I have in Damansara...I was hired for a short stint at an events company. They need a receptionist. I need to make some money. However, I have no idea how to get there so looks like I have to do some homework...and of course, I don't even know if it's worth the pittance I'll be making, since it's quite far from my place...hmmmm...well...why not, eh? At least I won't be stuck being too much of a couchie at home...which I am right now, heheheh! Of course, I'm paying back for all the times I've missed at home...and you know what? By the time I start working...I mean OFFICIALLY...I'll be working like a slave for the rest of my life, won't I? So let me revel in my high-density sloth!!!

All this while planning the trip to France...yes, people...the trip is on...and for now, it shall be my main focus (among other things, lol!)...there's lots to do. Many have pulled-out due to this and that...but we shall overcome and like I said, God knows and never disappoint...now I know why it didn't happen in May...HE knew we wouldn't be able to make it on that particular date...HE knew...and HE is going to make it happen for us in November...so, I pray that it happens at this moment...I know in my heart that this trip will change me in some way...I don't know what and how, but it will...

For now...I bid my formal education adieu...and I don't know what the future holds for me, but I certainly plan to further my studies down the road...one thing about me is...I do something and finish it...so I'm glad I finished this Degree in IR...and finished all the levels of the French language at UKM with my friends (learning French has been my dream since primary school so I'm glad, so glad...I finally managed to learn it)...at least now I know that I actually DON'T love IR, lol! So, in essence...I'll be taking a Masters Degree in something I love. I'll just need the time to figure out what I love...this will be a toughie, since I love so many things...

Good luck to all my dear friends...you are going to face a whole different battle now. Congratulations on this particular one...it has been a honor to fight the fight right beside you! ;)

The next post will be a tribute to all of you...hehehe! Why not, eh? I'm free now so let me be! Okay, gonna go chill with the 'Boobettes' tomorrow...my other circle. See ya!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Vlaaarrrrggggkkkkhhhhhh!!!

Friday, April 30, 2010

The title sums up how I've been feeling these past few weeks; cooped-up in this room, pressure building from worries, anxiety, zits, belly fat, etc...all coz i've not been moving much...just moving from the seat to my bed, and to the seat again (save for buying food, bathing, toilet breaks and going home for awhile...), the stress shows on my face and body coz I haven't been taking care of it since the beginning of the semester! -____-

After all the crap of anxiousness and panic, I kept repeating, "God help me, God help me, God help me..." while trying my best to help myself think clearly and ridding myself out of a writer's block!

Today, I completed the final draft and nervously went to see my supervisor. The first few minutes was excruciating, as he was reading quite silently...he then started to correct a few technical errors such as hyphenations and explained that I needed footnotes as well as the author-date system...okaaaay, looks like everybody gives me different information...dang! But I was more interested in the contents...was it correct or wrong...or???

"Well, this is after all YOUR findings, so I can't be the one to say that you're wrong..."

-____-

So he goes on to say that his responsibility is to check on my first and last chapter...the correlation, the format, the essence of my dissertation...it took quite awhile till my classmate under his supervision as well came knocking...she has completed hers and is ready to bind it! Whoaaa...

So then he said what I should amend, talked a little about the formatting (UKM style sucks...go with Chicago style, lmao!), etc...and I asked him about minimum pages...and he actually said that there's no minimum! WHOAAA!!! Ok!!! And what about the literature review? He said, "...about five books." Whaaaat??? Hahahaha...and I was flustered at all this revelations...damn, I should've asked him before...

So for now, I'm back...bought some lunch! Now, a huge burden is lifted and I have the whole weekend to do this shit of a thesis! Oh holy crap, I forgot...I have to move out, stat!!! Awww man!!!

For now all I have is one thing to say, and that is thank you God for letting me finish in time for my appointment with Dr. X...at least I could do it during the weekend! God is great!

PS: Wee, I so wanna go, k? Next weekend? Sorry...but i'm up for drinks if you are! Miss you guys...;)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

MAF Ftw!!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

No...it's not the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry...MAF is an acronym for the coolest and sweetest bunch of peeps I know! LOL!

I'm shamelessly into Tokio Hotel...as you've already been told countless of times, heheh! Indeed, TH is my guilty pleasure!!! Many people think they're lame and stuff like that...my sister despises them, hahahah! But I really enjoy their music for the many reasons I've stated before!

So to think that they bought me TH's latest album for my birthday...it's just so...so...thoughtful! It's the thought that counts ok??? Even if you gave me some cheap mamak-stall lunch for my birthday, i'd still appreciate it...hahahaha! But of course this is waaaaay better! LMAO!

For my part, the moment Munik shoved a little bag onto my hands, I thought..."Awwww, thank you!"

Then I opened it...




...I was speechless for a few seconds, but I said a lot by my actions:

1. Shrieking like a 15 year-old stereotypical bimbotic high school chick
2. Jumping while wearing a kebaya (thank God nobody was around!)
3. Smiling from ear-to-ear; before that I was really in a bad mood

Then M says, "Sorry we couldn't get you any tickets..." Are you kidding? This thing you gave me says a lot ok?

To me, it says "We don't care how lame TH is, we bought it for you coz we know you love them!"

Thank you guys...you know I wanted to get the CD for so long, but never got to a chance to get it. The fact that YOU bought it makes it more valuable to meeee...why? 'Coz it's the sweetest thing!!! You bought it coz you know how much I love TH! That.is.the.sweetest.thing!!! Hahahaha...you girls have to sign it k!!!

Love ya!!!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Nothing Else To Write About...But Who Cares?

Monday, April 26, 2010

I just realized that I can't just go out for a drive in the wee hours of the morning anymore...why? Coz mom friggin' changed her car to some bigger car...and she's so paranoid that I might scratch it or hit something, that now I'M the one who's scared to drive it... :/

So much for wanting to sneak out for a 4-something Mickey D brekkie (which I enjoy more than the lunch!)...damn, I miss that small car!!! Bad choice in changing cars, mom...bad choice! It was so practical and efficient...and you saved loads on gas!

I'm so hungry right now...oh yeah, mom bought an itty-bitty waffle-maker...I came home the other day and started jumping like a fcukin' retard when I saw it...Yeah, I was in ultimate bliss, but also in 'jakun' mode, hehehe...

Now I can make waffles any time I want!!! Woohoo...need to brush up on making the perfect waffle...from scratch! Heheheh...

Off to hunt for food and ransack the kitchen...fridge, here I come!

UPDATE: Just talking bout waffles...I couldn't help but give in to my cravings...so I had to make the batter (super lazy though!!!) but I cheated and used that Pillsbury mix instead...still tasted like waffles, so nothing to it...and of course, ya gots to add de butta and maple syrup...and "hallelujah!!!" Once you take that first bite... :P

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Still Alive...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

What would I do without you?

It's not hard for me to admit...you keep me sane. It's too organic; the way I find it easy to let it all out - through you. Heck, you're like an addiction!

I wish I could find something which I love as much as I love writing stuff in my head down in this thing called a blog...I'm not kidding!

3 years of tertiary studies almost ending, and I've still yet to have a clear road to where I'm heading. It's kinda like I'm driving a car on a dark desert road, not knowing where I'm going. The headlights are on, but all I can see are the next 20 feet...and nothing beyond.

I already made my choice not to join the diplomatic corps, much to my mom's disdain. Well, I always thought that I wanted to be a diplomat...but maybe what I actually wanted was to travel. Yes, I am quite ok when it comes to following protocols and shit...but is that ME? Hell no!

I know what I want to achieve, and yet I know not how to get there...and that, my pretties...is the beautiful letdown!

...know something?

What I'm doing right now is finding another reason not to finish my thesis! Wtf. Will continue soon as I send my draft. At least I'm done with my final group assignment...speaking of assignments...M,A and F...I think we need a group name. So in the future, I can refer to us as one entity...suuweeet!!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Funny...Or Just Plain Weird?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Well, you know i'm your average university student...I haven't been sleeping at the right hours lately (as if I ever did!) due to...you know, THESIS DEADLINE...ARRRGGGHHHH!

So, it's 6.30 in the morning...i'm skimming through pages of "CGE Model used as an economic forecast of a possible FTA"...and my mind just won't let me read anymore...so I skip to the next task...Environmental Politics *double yucks*, thank you very much!!! Then I realize, why the hell are there so many bugs in my room? Yes, I do normally leave my windows open 24/7 unless I go home...I need proper ventilation and I hate stuffiness! Ok, the bugs...guess the rain made them seek refuge in my room. Bugs...a variety of little bugs...crawling on the 4 walls that surround me...harmless, i'm sure...but annoying nonetheless!!!

So I get the Shieldtox and kill 'em all!!! Then, I see a whole bunch of them drop dead on my floor...and that's including the mother-effin' bee that's been buzzing around the fluorescent lightbulb!

"YESSSS...gotcha, little biatch!!!" But, wait...

The bug display on the floor can't be left just like that, right? So I start sweeping my whole room floor like the mad girl that I am...moving things here and there, sweeping under the table and chair...it's almost 7 in the morning and i'm still not sleepy. So, without thinking twice, I head outside for the mop...and i'm mopping the floor at 6.50 am. Now my room is clean and dust-free...smells great too, since it's the purple Ajax I stole from home...it's much better than the brand I have here.

So there...my story. It's 7.10 and I still don't feel a tad sleepy. Maybe i'll try to finish up this Environmental Policy assignment which I luuuuuurrrvvvveee so much! -_____-

Herein ends the awkward tale of my bug massacre+sweeping+mopping trifecta. Hope you liked it. Thank you and have a nice day.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Some People Should Go Have Some Humble Pie...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The title says it all...it's amazing how some people can be so...I don't know, boastful? Maybe that wasn't how they were making it out to be, but it appears so. Maybe you don't care what people think, but hey...I have a right to an opinion just like you do. AND this is my blog so I can say whatever the hell I wanna say, so there! People nowadays...

We now live in a world where humility is lacking; it is underrated, IMO...but I think it speaks volumes of a person's self-worth when he/she remains humble whenever they gain something. Don't get me wrong, I always feel happy for another person when they get/achieve something that makes them happy...hell, I don't blame you for wanting to tell the whole world coz I would too!

It's when they begin to show a certain attitude about it; that's what gets to me. Why? Because by showing a degree of cockiness, they are lacking gratitude and gaining a huge ego. I don't know...it's not what you say about it...it's HOW you say it. Kinda confusing, but I know you can tell when a person is excited vs. when a person is showing off (while seeming unaware of it)...now where's the good in that?

I for one would never let my younger sisters be that way...hell, I recommend that you bitch-slap me if you catch me doing that! That'll get me back to Earth! LMAO...

I am lucky...very very lucky because I do NOT have friends like that. Thank you guys for you are the epitome of 'down-to-earth'...

Gratitude...learn it...live it!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Thesis!!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Finally I got an answer from the US Embassy!!! It helps...a lot!!!

Thank you God!!! Now I have ample data to complete this shizz... :P

Monday, April 19, 2010

I Really Hate This...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Read: I HATE THIS!!!

I have been really trying my best to MAKE myself complete this thing called a thesis...but I fail as soon as I start! What the hell is wrong with me? I am in an utter mess...all this attempt to lock myself in my room to focus has been utterly useless...so far, I have been doing useless stuff like watching movies, playing the bloody rusty-stringed guitar...basically everything except my thesis!!! Heck, I've been reading-up on physics, can you believe it? Epic fail!!! PHYSICS!!! A subject I used to hate while I was studying it!!! OMG...

Please, God...I beg of you...please please please give me the strength to finish this before the deadline...coz it's really driving me up the wall...it's not that I can't, the problem is that I won't! I know it doesn't make sense, but that's just it! I won't do it...Ok, I can't understand it myself...

Okok...I guess i'll try again...but God, please be with me this time! Please, please, pretty please?

Speaking of other stuff...I found this treasure of a classic out of AFI's top 10 classic list (SEE WHAT I MEAN???)

It's called 12 Angry Men, a black and white courtroom drama. 12 jurors' need to decide on a boy's life; whether he's guilty beyond reasonable doubt or innocent. It's simply riveting, compelling...remarkable! No wonder it's a classic! It seems like a low-budget film, since the set is rather limited...the story itself is what got me glued throughout the movie. Glad for stumbling upon this gem...I think i'm now gonna try watching more classic movies...the B&W kind!

Other than 12 Angry Men, my other fave classic is It's a Wonderful Life, starring James Stewart. Ahhh, the classic "...everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings" is the kind you tend to keep in your head forever!

So after everything is done (THESIS arrrggghhhh!!!), i'm gonna try to get Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Ben-Hur, Spartacus, etc...Man, if only there was a movie scholar needed...I would certainly die for it!!!

Okaaay...back to reality! Wish me luck...God be with me! Amen.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Latest...

Friday, April 16, 2010

It's been awhile since we had our sleepovers/slumber party/assignment night...it's fun and I know these are our last days together...for real! So i'm all in for our latest gossips, movies, music comparisons, and more...all while attempting to do this bloody assignment!

K, useless post... -________- kinda lazy to write. Guess i'll save it for the thesis...

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

I Just Love It...

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Been watching the Godfather series (I and II - coz those are the two that matter, hahaha!) again and again...damn, I love it so much!!! The story, the dynamics of the roles...the calculating cunningness of the Dons Corleone...the cinematography...everything!!!

Just watching the rise of Michael to the head of the Cosa Nostra gets me all hooked and stuff...heck, I even disregarded my thesis...fuck!!! Michael starts off as a young buck with no hope of joining in the family business. In fact, he enlists in the Marine Corps, which everyone hates (except Fredo)...but then (to cut things short) he is faced with unavoidable and unexpected circumstances where we witness his rise to power and becomes the new Don by killing all the heads of the other mafia families...so as to avoid being killed himself.

The second one, we now focus on Vito's young days and the current Don Michael Corleone's personal journey throughout the movie...while we see Vito's rise, we also see Michael betrayed and left by everyone he thought highly of...and towards the end, he has no-one...except maybe his kids...and Tom Hagen (one of my favorite characters in the movie).

His wife played by Diane Keaton was boring...blah! But Talia Shire was great as his sister...and so was James Caan as Sonny, Robert Duvall as Tom and also John Cazale as Fredo!!! And who could forget, Marlon Brando as Don Vito...with his stuffed cheeks and unforgettable voice...heck, I imitate the Don all the time (to some friends who are fans as well), hehehe! And lines you hear in the real world...they're all taken from here!!! Believe it, people!!!

In all the 'hits' in both movies, I kinda felt sorry for Fredo...hated that he had to die...boo!!! Oh, and the time Sonny gets killed at the causeway...boo!!! The 'hits' I loved were the those which were featured in the final killing montage at the end of Godfather I...a masterpiece I must say!

Now I remembered watching Godfather III, but I can't seem to recall the story...all I can remember is that is sucks...oh, I also remember Andy Garcia...that's it...but hearing that it sucks just gives credibility to my assumption. Hmmmm, I can't remember the movie, but I'm certain that it sucks...LMAO! Wtf...

Okay...so I love Pacino...sue me! He was sooo hot...heck, to me he's still hot!!! Hahahaha, hot old method-man! I totally love his movies...Godfather, Scarface, ...And Justice for All, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Scent of A Woman, Frankie and Johnny, ahhhhh...there's just too many!!! Okok...I love ALL of his movies!!! ALL of 'em...yes...even Ocean's 13 AND Devil's Advocate...hehehe! Angels In America too (he did such a good job in this miniseries!!!)

Ok...was talking about the Godfather...why did I end up talking about Pacino's movie bio? Typical!!!

Monday, April 05, 2010

A Crushed Dream...Or Maybe Not?

Monday, April 05, 2010

Yes, the trip to Paris has been postponed...yes, I am allowed to go...of course! But if it's in November, I can't be certain because I might end up having to work...what kind of job allows a just-hired employee to take 10-days' leave?

I wish I had some luck so that somehow, we can make it...WE; as in ALL of my besties...je donc, notre lecons pour la langue francais...c'est pour une visite historique pour notre vivres...I just want it to happen coz I truly believe it will change us somehow...

All this plus the fact that my thesis isn't even done...that's me for ya! Ok, got to keep my priorities in check! Thesis, here I come!!!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

What Is Happening???

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Why is everyone getting married/engaged??? Did I miss something here? I know, I know...we are in our early 20s, and of course...i'm not throwing any sort of judgment whatsoever...but damn! How can it be so many people at the same time? Who are my age!!!

People you never thought would settle down are settling...and I remember exactly how they were when they were much younger...I remember it all! But now, they're going and getting themselves hitched. I don't know why, but I tend to think women give up a lot of their dreams when they marry. Why? Because they will go on and spawn...then, their kids become the priority.

I am in no way saying that you can't achieve anything when you have children...but i'm saying that a small part of you or who you were dies when you hear the cry of your firstborn. You may be much happier than you ever imagined, but that part of you who was a little bit selfish; the good kind, the kind that thinks of their happiness melts away, unveiling selflessness...then, all the dreams you had of reaching your fullest potential will be put in the back burner...

Don't you want to travel the world...experience different cultures...find yourself...reach your limits...go on a high-adrenaline adventure right before going to that place where your new home is to live with your partner with ultimate bliss, knowing that NOW you can be with them, body, mind and soul and have no regrets?

What I am now is scared...scared that I may fall in love, get married, have children...and end up resenting the fact that I didn't chase my dreams or reach my potential. I'm scared for myself...perhaps this is the reason I am so afraid of marriage. Commitment? Well, i'm not that afraid...not unless it leads to marriage...then i'm doomed!

Okay...finally I discover the "why?" to my problem...thank you marriage aka 'mating' season for helping me find the answer!

Now those who are in love or those who are engaged and stuff...please don't take it against me. I'm just saying what I think...after all, this is MY blog...maybe in the future, I would be the one who would have to eat my own words, but for now...this is how my mind is going! Sorry...

Have a great April Fool's Day, everyone!!! ;D

Friday, March 26, 2010

People Who Are Just Not Worth Our Time...

Friday, March 26, 2010

I learn through my friends and family...their relationships, their experiences. A friend's touching blog entry has only pushed me into writing this post while enhancing my feeling of gratitude...thanks, coco! I only wish for the best for all of you girls. I can honestly say I was (and still am) sincere in being your friend! Imagine if I didn't talk to M on the first day...imagine! My life would've been so different...maybe miserable! I wouldn't have met F...and we wouldn't have met A together!!! We wouldn't have been US!!! *spooked*

After feeling vast amounts of negativity surrounding me in these past few days: after all the conflicts I've witnessed in other circles...after feeling grateful that I do not have to put up with shit-heads like the ones in this list...I have compiled a list toxic people who are not worth your time, effort, and energy.

Do all you can to never associate yourself with people such as the ones listed (if you can!)...

I'm not saying i'm a fantastic person without flaws, of course I am flawed...we all are! But one thing i'm sure of...I do NOT have a cold heart...I can gladly say that I was raised by good people, and I do not have darkness or malice in any of my intentions. I am never fake when it comes to building friendships. Therefore, I would truly be blessed if I do not have to mix with these kinds of people, coz i've seen how it could damage a person.

So, here is MY list of peeps you do NOT wanna waste your time with:

  • Fake people who act all nice in front of you, but are heartless, cold, calculating, backstabbing, jealous and manipulative behind your back (this applies to girls, mostly)
  • Vain people..seriously the most annoying people in the planet!!! I hate narcissistic people and their self-praising attitudes.
  • Show-offs...it's one thing to be good at something and display it...it's another thing to deliberately expose yourself to be living the life of the rich and famous, when you're in fact just one of us...that's just pitiful...leave that fake Prada at home, honey! I don't see rich people doing it...why should you?
  • People who are jerks/assholes
  • Guys who are so demanding on having a pretty girl for a gf, when in fact...they're butt-ugly! Same thing for girls...
  • Guys who want a good, (preferably virgin girl---this is after all, Malaysia) as their wife, but have no qualms fucking any sluts they could find...AND they wouldn't marry one because "they are used goods"! Wtf...are these guys NOT man-sluts???
  • Guys who are condescending to women
  • Guys who are perverts
  • Guys who pretend to be a good friend just to get in your pants
  • Guys who are rejected...who then claims he left the girl!
Just a few things that get under my skin sometimes...just a few. I'm allowed that luxury, am I not? I speak the truth, like it or not...and maybe some of you would disagree...but this is MY truth! You could of course, offer a few suggestions...this is a medium for expression, so don't be shy! Hehehehe...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Pride & Prejudice & Colin Firth

Wednesday, March 24, 2010



Pride & Prejudice...of all the adapted versions, I would HAVE to say: the miniseries on BBC is the BEST ADAPTED version of Pride & Prejudice, ever!!! By a mile!!!

Taken in from the very beginning by Jennifer Ehle's portrayal as Elizabeth Bennet, I was in her corner from the start. I believed her...and yes, I did hate that damn Mr. Darcy in the beginning (although I already knew how he would turn out eventually...)

In the process of falling in love with Darcy, Bennet's somewhat tomboyish demeanour (which doesn't take away from her femininity and beauty), and disregard for buttering-up those of "higher stature" (like her cousin, Mr. Collins) makes her one of my favorite Austen-girls...maybe even my favorite heroines of literature!

And the epic scene I was waiting for? The one where it is STILL talked about today by the various lads and ladies who enjoyed this series? Mr. Darcy's wet shirt scene, of course! There's something about the awkwardness of their meeting at his beautiful estate in Pemberley...perhaps it was the irony that he was a nobleman, dressed in such a way (without 'proper' attire) that may lead to the breaking of his prideful stature (complex theory)? Or maybe it was just to make us swoon over him (plain and simple theory)!!!

Whatever it is, I think the team did a good job with the whole cast. Every role was perfect for the actors...I couldn't help but fall for Mr. Darcy...yes, he's a character. But, it was played so well by Colin Firth that I forgot it was COLIN FIRTH...he became Darcy, and I was in: hook, line and sinker! I love Colin Firth for this role...he has a face fit for brooding!

Ahhh, Colin Firth...one of my favorite British actors. I really wanna check out his Oscar-nominated role for 'A Single Man', in which he plays a guy who's contemplating suicide after the death of his partner...will try to check it out in the future.

So I say...it was a night well spent. Even my writing is somewhat affected, I would think (I WOULD think??? So very Brit-ish, Lol!!!). I keep thinking in a British accent while writing this entry...Hahahahaha!!! Thanks, Ms. W...for providing me with a series so rare, that I could only think of one person who would actually have it...or rather, actually DL it, hahahahah!

THANKS W!!! Loved it soooo much! (Back to my normal vernacular! Had to happen...)

PS: I read a joke somewhere that if you say 'beer can' in a British accent, you will also be saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent...LMFAO!!! Say it...it's so true!!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Taking A Load Off In Underland...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Saw it (normal, not in 3D)...wasn't really impressed with the movie. Rather, it was kind of a bummer coz I expected MORE!!! I dunno, just kinda fell flat...I loved the artistic vision of Tim Burton though...it always is up to his fans' expectations...

Stayne (Crispin Glover; though I'll always remember him as Marty McFly's dad from "Back to the Future") reminds me of a taller, meaner version of Edward Scissorhands...ok, that statement was random!

Man, I loved Edward Scissorhands...it was the ONE movie in which I truly felt the talent Johnny Depp had (he still has it!) as an actor...at the same time, I also fell for Tim Burton's creative and distinct way of telling a story...it was beautiful...and of course, a match made in heaven! So, yeah...my 2 cents' worth on the Burton-Depp partnership!

Which is why, I was quite disappointed with the movie...the storyline, especially...it was rather cliched, but visually stunning...maybe I should just go watch it in 3D, eh?

After the movie, my chums went for the after-movie chill-out session...really took a load off the crappy week that was.

One of the things I love best: Being with my family AND hanging out with the friends...don't know why, I just feel happy afterwards...

Thank you God for giving me such great friends...no matter how we disagree sometimes, I accept all of you for who you are, and I hope that you accept me the way I am too...I pray that we'll always be friends, no matter what the circumstances are.

Hahahaha...I always thank God for family and friends, huh? Well, it's always better to be grateful than bitter...I don't know what the future holds for us all, but at least we had a blast, eh? Man, i'm getting too sentimental for my own good...Lol!

Must be the age...

Oh, and I must remember to write a critique about a snooze-fest of a movie that is "Under the Mountain"...LMFAO!!! Sucks, I tell you...it sucks...balls!!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Oh.My.God.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

OMG!!! Tokio Hotel is coming to Malaysia...I can't for the life of me believe this!

I MUST GO!!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Ra-ra-ra-ah-ah...Ra-ma-ramama...Ga-ga-ooh-la-la...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Okay...stressed out!!! Need to vent...

Sent couple of interview requests to relevant experts in my field of study...some e-mails were bounced back to me...arrrggghhh!!!

And I keep having a nightmare on how I won't make it on Tuesday...so many things...aarrrggghhhh...how do I get to MITI if I drive myself??? Arrggghhhh...after that, i will need to get back home, return the car and hurry off to UKM for some presentation, which is (trust me!) unnecessary!!! Ask my classmates...

I apologize to some of you for not being able to go watch certain movies and go to certain places...i really am! I sooo wanted to go catch that movie with you guys...as much as I really wanted to go to that MATTA Fair to go see for myself whether we could get some great deals or not...thank God one of you went there, so all is not lost! :)

Coupled with the thesis and presentations and unfinished assignments...I am almost a wreck...till I got some news regarding our Parisian trip. Got me into a deep hole of crap for a while during the weekend. Seriously, some people are selfish and just plain inconsiderate...I do not even wanna comment!

My Facebook has been un-suspended...I still do not know who reactivated my account...can you imagine? Here I am trying to limit myself to finishing my tasks, and here comes the e-mail notification that i have reactivated my account...i mean, WTF, right? I am too jaded to even care about this...all I know is that i have nothing to hide, so no worries there...changed all my passwords though...

PS: So much to deactivating Facebook, I am now a Tweeter...just don't add me yet ok!!! I am only registered, not active...yet! Hahahahaha...I know it's addictive!!! Addiction is baaaad for me! Tweet, tweet!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Fucker...Get A Life!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Just when I thought that it was a good idea to deactivate my Facebook account, so that I could concentrate on some stuff...some fucker decides to hack into mine...

Fuck...FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!! Received an email saying I have comments on my account when I've already deactivated it...wth???

Whoever it is...go get a fuckin' hobby! Think I wouldn't know I've been hacked? Damn you...well, Facebook has now suspended my account thanks to you. At least now I know you can't log in as me anymore! *sticks tongue out like a 6-year old*

Loser...