Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Wanna Run Away...For Now!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I have so much to be angry at; my angst towards the world just keeps getting bigger by the day! Don't you sometimes feel like the world is out to get you? Coz sometimes your luck is like, "Whoa, Nelly!!!"-- I mean, sometimes it's too good to be true...but then you hit a spot where all the good turns bad, you know what I mean?

I just don't get it...is life really a cycle of good times and bad? I just can't seem to enjoy the happy times coz I keep waiting for the bad to come...it's me in paranoid-mode, and I hate it! I hate being cynical about everything...I hate it so much!!!

Me whining ain't much help for me...I just want to purge my negativity in this blog, coz this is all that i've got...my friends here are ok, but I really miss my childhood friends, now doing their own thing--everyone's always too busy to hangout (even me!)

Varsity life isn't so depressing, mind you...it's the circumstances that makes things suck!
Why can't there be good, and nothing else? Why do all good things come to an end? THAT is my question!

I don't really know what the hell i'm talking about. Nowadays I talk crap all the time...seriously! Just today, I was at this tutorial talking about...I don't even remember! Then, when it came to giving questions or comments, I sort of was trying to understand what another student was saying...ok, that was done---then, I stupidly opened my mouth to make an analogy that didn't even make any sense at all! I mean, WTF, dudes...what the hell did I do? I didn't make sense at all! I couldn't even salvage my statements by covering that up! No, I didn't...I just shut the fuck up, and held my frickin' tongue in case I said another stupid thing!

A pretty long post, this one...but I don't fuckin' care, coz it's my blog, and i'll blog long if I want to!

Now, back to my whining... I recently asked my friend to take comfort in prayer, but then I realized that I don't pray as much as I should- I mean, it's not sincere...Sigh, I don't know, I guess maybe it's some sort of a phase or something.

My student loan has NOT been credited yet! Calling the line of the officers supposedly responsible for my problems have gone, unanswered...those answering the hotline keep playing the "not our fault, it's the bank's fault" line on me...I just stand there, not knowing if I want to laugh or cry...and I ended up laughing, coz they are too predictable!

A friend has given me a few media contacs, for me to complain...so I will! My Mom told me to wait it out till this week, but i've been waiting for my freakin' money for a month, and I can't even get a straight answer from those idiots! So, since my Mom's advise is crucial to me making a decision, I wil wait it out...but only till this week! After that...you know...

What am I listening to?
My Sharona by The Knack...i'm bobbing my head and tapping my feet like an idiot in the Cyber place, and people are staring like i'm high on something...LOL! What a freak I am...but I don't care!

Oh, shit, a headache's coming...I'd better go back to my dorm and read educational stuff...and meditate, or pray, or do something good!

Toodlez, bitches!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Tired...And All That Jazz!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

One thing I could be is patient, I once said...well, i'm tired of it! I'm tired of waiting for the bloody loan to come through...come Friday, i'm writing to a very popular daily about this case...

You couldn't get anymore stupid and inefficient than not settling a complaint after a few working days, right? Indifference I can take when it doesn't involve anyone other than yourself...but when it involves someone else, and if solving a problem is your job...SORRY! No reason for me to cut you any freakin' slack! No siree!!!

That is why...half of me wants to NOT get it, so that I can put the whole agency to shame...gimme a hell yeah!!!

Anyway, other than that unfortunate incident (that boggles me to death!), i'm doin' pretty ok...so far, so good! Me reading a lot of scholastic and intellectual books tell me that i'm growing up! Haha...what??? NO WAY...

Well, to tell you the truth, I really think there will always be a kid in me that'll never grow up! Seriously...I can't live without playing pranks on closest friends (yep, my pranks are uber-exclusive! LOL!), chatting and hanging out, laughing like a mad woman, etc...

Our country's independence will be celebrated soon...and some young girls want me to follow them to a certain concert to a certain power center for the countdown...I have classes on the day after the next, but they don't care. In fact, they're forcing me to go (I would actually be considered a chaperone)...Hey, even i'm contemplating, as I haven't ruled it out...YET! Could be fun, right?

What am I listening to now? Roxanne by The Police...my friends are pissed at me as I constantly use my MP3 player (which is noise-cancelling), that I never could hear them calling me...I sometimes even pass 'em by without even noticing, as i'm in my own world...LOL! For that, I apologize, but I can't help it...i'm a SOUNDAHOLIC! Sorry...

Another friend even told me the reason i'm single is because I walk looking ahead, and don't even look to the side...and that I may have missed Mr. Right! I said the only scenario I imagine meeting my Mr. Right is if we bump into each other, face-to-face, OR me and him reach out for the same book at the bookstore...SERENDIPITY is what i want when I meet him, Haha!!!

Classes start in half an hour...shit! Gtg, and till the next post...Toodlez, bitches!!!

P.S.: To Ms. W, bring them cookies for our yum cha this Sat ok? Lookin forward to seeing y'all!

Monday, August 20, 2007

F*** F*** F*** F***!!!

Monday, August 20, 2007


Why don't I get this freakin' loan?

Patience, I have indeed, but when you frickin' give me tentative answers, and "I don't know" answers, I can't help but be pissed!

Why can't you just answer properly, and with conviction? Your "I don't knows" are driving me up the wall, you know! Why do all my friends have theirs, but not me? Why can't you check up on it? Why can't you take a little initiative for what the angency is paying you for?

This money isn't yours...it is GOING TO BE mine, which I am bound to pay for...so, it isn't yours for now...IT SHOULD BE MINE from the time I signed the agreement, and you people accepted!

That is how it should be...not dilly-dallying on the crediting, not I-don't-knows, not whatever, not whenever, not anything which I can't measure!!!

Why is it, when people pay a day late, you waste no time "reminding" them of late payments, but you don't give a damn about people like me?

Just for once, can't you be as efficient as my little finger? FYI, you're not even close to my little pinky!!!

Please please please let me get what I want...(cue to a head-banging metal song by Slipknot! Whichever you please...choose!)

-Ms. G-

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

While I wait for the bloody loan to be credited, I suppose I could plan my to-buy list! Already, I owe a friend money, as she kindly paid for some books I copied (Thanks, Ms. F!)...I have yet to pay for other stuff, like fees, clothes, books, and much more.

I also want to help my parents...and I will, with no regrets.

Sometimes, I sit and see my family, and although we're not rich, i'm glad that we are all unselfish towards one another...i'm glad that we're not poverty-stricken...i'm glad we have a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs.

And I pray with all my heart that I somehow make it in this world, that I can be a good example for my sisters, and someone Mom and Dad can be proud of! Such big dreams I have...and yet, I hope it all comes true, God-willing...

Wow, what an emo post! Kinda short, but it says what I want to for now...maybe a longer one will come out the next time...for now, so long, bitches!


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thank you Gawd!!!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Well, I was almost at the verge of an anxiety attack, as I was suppose to have memorized this stupid article to be presented as a speech in my tutorial...now, I really really suck at memorizing facts, what more a whole bloody article.

As luck might have it, my lecturer cancelled today's tutorial, and yay...i'm home free!!!

Thank you, God almighty!

PS: Loan is still nil!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Long Time No See...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

It HAS been a long time since my last post...it feels nice updating again...since then, nothing much has really happened. I still haven't goten my loan credited into my account, and more bad news; turns out my fees were more than I had initially thought it was! How sucky is that? I do feel that there's an error somewhere, but in the back of my mind---maybe not!

In other news, I got fatter! Enough said! Eating dinner and sleeping right after has not treated me well...My parents have resorted to taunts of chubbiness...THIS, I DO NOT LIKE! Action that needs to be taken: bring dumbells to start weights+cardio activities...every day!!! And so I begin...and no sleeping after eating, for goodness sake!!! Lesson? If you wanna sleep, do NOT eat! The sugars/carbs turn right into fat on the belly or visceral fat (omentum), which is dangerous!!!

So I shall go back to my room, start my exercises, read my books and prepare for my overdue fees...eat in moderation, drink plenty of water, which I still don't...

However, there are still things that I wouldn't change about myself...they are:
  • Me walking fast---I hate it when people in front of me walk slow...they are what you call banes to my life! Plus, they're just plain annoying!
  • Me reading stuff unrelated to my studies---hey, they make me smart, so why stop?
  • Me being a joker in the family---my mom's a fan, my dad's a fan, now my cynical sister's a fan...next fan to come is my baby sis...she's already laughing when I make funny voices. Lol, so cute!
  • Me loving music---they make life more beautiful!
  • Me loving coffee---nothing to add to this!
  • and many more!

So there goes today's post...till next time...toodlez, bitches!!!