Monday, December 08, 2008

All I Want For Chrithmathhhh...

Monday, December 08, 2008

Ever heard that song? I don't even know who sang could either have been a little boy/girl, and it's sung with an obvious lisp...hence, "all i want for xmas is my two front teeth..."

Dunno why I suddenly thought of that!

These days, I feel a wee bit nostalgic. Found some old friends via Facebook...reminisced, planned a reunion (which I think will not happen due to clashing schedules), telling each other how good we are looking, etc...end of story! Next...

So, mom tells me we (all of us-sisters, mom and dad!) might be going to the Philippines next May...I hope! I really hope this happens as it will be the first time my sisters and I will be going's always a plan that never happens, and I wish it would be realized this time. I just know once I go to the place where i've come from (half of me, lol!), i'll be more grateful, and instantly gain a little more wisdom.

I've always been fascinated to know where I came from...

On my mom's side, there are no worries, coz she knows everything...she knows all her relatives, like...say...her cousins thrice removed...and maybe more!

My dad, however...what a disappointment! No knowledge of his mother tongue, culture...which leaves me lost! I'm trying to trace our origins on my paternal ancestors' side, but I fail because I find out that grandad changed his name when he came to this country...and my dad didn't really know his extended family coz his parents didn't really make it a point to be a close-knit family...and me being so curious, I ask tons of questions but get no answers. So, here I am...lost!

Don't you ever get fascinated with your background? If I had the means, I would deffo check my genealogy...interesting stuff! I get so jealous when some peeps just know everything about their family tree, and I'm like, "Huh? Gee, I know nothing about half of my heritage! Hmmph, show-off!"


Sunday, December 07, 2008

Sprinkle Some Fairydust For Happiness...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

I'm such a sucker for fairytales...yes, yes...those who know me can't vouch for what I just proclaimed...I seem like such a realist bitch! Ok, I get it...maybe I am, but to a degree. Coz when I see a movie that talks about happy endings, falling in love, kissing with fireworks, music when you meet the one you love...sigh, what an escape it gives you!

I'm not saying that i'm gonna hear music when I kiss 'the one', but it's nice to think that maybe there is someone out there for me...someone who GETS you, understands you even when you're talking in circles...someone who you can't stop thinking about...someone who gives you the feeling of butterflies in your stomach...someone you CLICK with! That's what i'm looking for! That's it!

An a-ha moment!!!

And another thing...for all the 'almosts' (i've had two or three...not many. Hah, i can't think of anyone who knows this...OMG! I'm too secretive!):

  • With every one of those 'almosts', i've never felt anything more than 'like' was always more of an 'ok, i'll try...', which is BAD!
  • Once I knew I don't click with them, it's "Buhbye"...I don't like wasting my time with nothingness
  • I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't love
  • All of the 'almosts'...they are the ones who call...I have never called them. I don't mean i'm a cheapo tryin' to cut cost on calls, I mean that I never felt the intent to call them...
  • I know what I wanted all along...and they weren't it
So, it's not like I didn't try, it's just that they weren't the right fit, get it? It didn't have to take long to know...but sometimes it's just a gut feeling (which I didn't have).

I'm not even looking for Mr. Right...i'm just looking for Mr. Right-for-the-moment...just someone I could experience this stage of my life with...then when we grow apart, just repeat the cycle until I miraculously find Mr.'s realistic and idealistic at the same time...hah! Take that!

Oh my God...where could he be? In the other side of the world or right at the corner? Under what circumstances do we meet?

Friday, December 05, 2008

It's Confirmed! 2008 Sucks!!!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Yep...indeed it is! My mom's not gonna be here this frickin' Christmas! She goes to East Malaysia for a month on the 13 of December...OMG, she's not even gonna be here on New Year's Eve!

I'm hating xmas already...

How am I gonna cope? My poor baby sis, though...well, my poor mom's gonna be posted somewhere during the holidays, without her family. I so hate "the office" right now you have no idea. She even has to work OT (without the OT pay) since they got "new management"...I mean, isn't there labor laws regarding this? Hmmmpphh!!!

Just feeling bitter that my mom can't be here with also doesn't help much to realize that you haven't gone anywhere to's all like a big blur right now. And mom is constantly unwell. This, i dunno...this year sucks, actually. I really pray that the next year would be my...i mean OUR year! I need some happy endings in my life. And so far, it's unhappy endings all the way. Just goes to show that you don't always get what you want!

I would lastly like to reiterate...


Thank you!