Life's Sick Lil' Games...

*WARNING: EMO POST AHEAD!!!*

I was sending my dad a short text message for his birthday...it's today, damn my dad is actually quite young...49! Still young, right? Well, mom's even younger...an elegant 45 year-old woman who gave birth almost three years ago! :P

All this solitary confinement, added with procrastinations about doing my thesis (or not doing it!!!) gets me thinking about them...

I wrote this before, but I never fail to say it out loud & proud: "I love my parents!"

During my teens: You know that age where most girls hate their mom/dad/both parents...my besties (now former besties) would bitch about their parents...lying to them about going out and stuff. Well, I was very different. I would say "Heck, i love my parents!", to their annoyance...Hahaha! They always trusted me, and that's why I've never had to lie to them about anything...hey, i'm not gonna go all out and say that I'm an angel...rather, I would say that I'm not that bad a daughter!

Yes, I know i've complained about them too, but i've never had that "I hate my parents!" phase...well, my sister had that phase with Pops, but not me...don't know why. Disappointments+complaints, yes...but never in a I-hate-my-parents sorta way.

I have always and WILL always love them. Once, when I was as little as 11-12, when I was thinking about my parents, I actually cried...don't know why, but I did. It was as if I felt I didn't deserve them...It's a wonder how some people are lucky enough to have one good parent, but to have two is somewhat hard to find...

I have cousins who aren't as lucky, as well as friends who constantly get into arguments with theirs. Hmmm, now thinking about it is getting me all emotional...somehow, I STILL wonder why I was/am fortunate to be born in this family...I wouldn't trade them for anything...

Don't even know why i'm writing about this, it's making me tear up...like seriously!

Well, whatever...moral is: I AM A LUCKY GIRL...always was, still am...and I hope that I always will be! And yes, I appreciate every single blessing given to me...and to my friends who read this, I'm lucky to have you guys too!

Ahhhh, maybe i'm just scared that one day i'll wake up to find out that everything was just a dream...my biggest & ultimate fear; waking up and finding that everything you thought you had was actually a dream. Geez, I'm such a dweeb...what's wrong with me?

Sorry, blog...guess you'll have to bear with my emotional roller-coaster...I'm just glad that even though i'm not rich in material wealth...I am absolutely abundant with the love of my family...if I was Superman, they would be my Kryptonite! (Geek, I am!!!)

The end.

PS: Gratitude makes way for abundance...believe it!

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In this world, not everyone will like you. Seems like a 'duhh!' statement, but just wanted to make it clear...i used to think "So what...I've got better things to do...", but my mom keeps this mantra which I find pretty non-Zen, but more realistic...it goes like this,

"If you don't like me...I don't like you MORE!"

Well, i have always been a person who likes to appease...to not hold it against a person who treats you badly. But for some reason, me thinking this way just isn't cut out for the real world. I feel like a schmuck if i let another person treat me like a piece of crap, and hey...turning the other cheek is something Jesus could do, but heck...I'm no Jesus!

So there...i know that i will and can't please everyone in this world...and of course, i may not be the best person in the world, but i'll tell you this...NO ONE IS A SAINT! Everyone has their faults, and i surely am one of them!

What is this about actually? Well, let's just say that some people really are mean...yes, another "Duhh!" statement, which I shall not get into in detail...just because I look like i have a hard exterior, it doesn't mean i'm immune to any sort of feelings...what the hell do some people know, that they can isolate you or a clique? I think that if I don't bother you, then why the fuck should you bother minding me (or my friends) anyway?

All i wanna do now is listen to my Tokio Hotel...their music, though some may call them lame, their music speaks to me in loads of ways...the vocalist's voice would seem kinda nasally, but it kinda works...the lyrics, the rhythm...it all works for me, so relevant to what i, as a young individual am going through. It gives me some sort of solace coz it's full of hope. Yes, i'm a dweeb by the way! Lol...Moral is, I love their songs coz i can relate! Therefore, ich liebe Tokio Hotel!

I couldn't find the tabs for 1000 Meere (1000 Oceans in English), so i wrote my own, albeit in a higher key...it works. Still slow in transitioning, but faster compared to previous attempts. Kinda find solace when i play now. Wish i had one for my own, and i will get it when i get some monay!

Oh yeah, my former boss is hiring an ad hoc team coz he's bringing in this major Filipino superstar to do a concert here. I'll be his "wingman" (LOL!), together with my sis. Hope i could meet great new people, and maybe widen my network, since i'll be graduating soon...God i hope this works!

Hmmm, i dunno. Maybe i'm going nuts or something...maybe i'm PMS-ing, but there you have it...the story may seem stupid, but yes...i'm feeling like i'm in a whole different galaxy because of some people who are fucking retards! I just thank God, that with the bad, there's good to balance it. Thank God for good people!

So there you have it...another emo post! -___-

And God...thank you for everything i have! I thank you coz i never take anything i have for granted...

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Thanks to Pris for the movie treat...felt a little better after goin' out. Though, i know damn well i wasn't much fun to be around yesterday...must be the timing wasn't right, ya know?

I dunno...maybe i'm just waiting for the dark clouds to wither away to reveal a bright sky! Yes, i know things will get better, but i'm a constant worrier. And only those who read this will know i'm not in a great mood. I would likely mask it with a cheery exterior as i posibbly could.

Other than this freakin' emo post (for the 2nd time!), i absolutely loved Confessions of a Shopaholic. Great casting...Isla Fischer was great and so was Hugh Dancy (damn, did I fall for this dude!)...everytime I see stories like these, I feel that "I WANT THAT FEELING TOO!!!"...especially when he said, "...she's not you"...OMG, if i wasn't sitting, i would've fallen at that line...hahahaha!

Anyway, hope to see other coming attractions, such as 'I Love You, Man'...i love me some Paul Rudd...oh, and also X-Men Origins or something like that...and many more movies!

And so, back to reality...back to assignments...and back to aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

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'nuff said!

Sometimes I don't wanna go home coz among the things that get to me are financial problems. My family has plenty of these problems. Yet, most of us are in denial, planning to live well into oblivion! I just don't know what to say...one one hand, i love everyone, and i'm happy we're all alright. Then on the other hand...I just won't go into details. Parents won't even acknowledge and try to work things out.

And now, my friend wanna go out for a movie. Well, that would take some $$$, and I don't like going out when i'm broke...but i guess someone already made up their mind for me. So i go with a heavy heart...but don't judge if i ain't gonna be in the mood. I just don't roll that way!

God, please get us out of this rut!

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I'm serious when I say I don't know where i'm heading...by and by, I keep wondering where do I go...what will I do...will I ever be happy in my life?

Then I get in panic-mode.

I mean, do you even know that what you plan will happen? Sometimes, circumstances or detours can get you elsewhere, you know? I've heard of people planning their whole life, and getting to a totally different place...one they would've never expected!

I don't even know what to write about...i'm in a state of emoting, haha!

Exams are coming...Monday! And i've yet to read up on it. Wtf!

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