tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-138920362024-02-20T17:02:05.740+08:00Life's Sick Lil' Games...When you think you're having a great time...When you think you're over yesterday's horse-shit day, and think things can't get any worse...WHAM!!! Catastrophes come buzzing at you from everywhere. Hence, life's sick lil' games...Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.comBlogger397125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-70205003140413948092011-10-27T19:09:00.001+08:002011-10-27T19:09:29.895+08:00It's Easy Being A Bitch For Some...I don't have to say much. We've all been there. Especially for some people who have it easier than some.<br />
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Why don't you fucking realize that you have everything that you need, and the rest of us take the hard way...we go to public universities coz we can't afford more expensive colleges; we don't have wealthy benefactors to give us any funds coz...meh, just a tough break.<br />
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Some of us deliberately take a different route simply because we don't want our mothers to dictate what we should become. What we initially thought we wanted was not what WE wanted, but what our parents wanted for us...<br />
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Some of us do not have a history of cutting ourselves and being useless during a certain phase of our teenaged life. So buzz off, it's my turn to do what I WANT; since you did it your whole "phase"...give me my fucking chance for once! Because of you, I forced myself to become the "good child"...so fine...i'm a useless piece of crap now. But now you're the "good child"...so what's the fucking problem? I'm not hurting myself, right?<br />
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You DG2S about what I think right? Well, if you don't...why the hell are you always in my face about every single petty issue? Just.shuuuuut.upppppppppppp.OMG!!!<br />
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Realize...things are so much deeper than the shallow surface you see. I guess you always think in a shallow way. Well I don't. Everything is steeped in other unresolved issues, asshole. You are such a megalomaniac!<br />
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PS: This is my only outlet...so please, let me be! Nobody ever takes my side, so TQVM! I'm mad...boohoo!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-61281027711400609332011-10-17T01:28:00.000+08:002011-10-17T01:28:04.892+08:00Love & Marriage, Love & Marriage...I seem to live in a society where marriage is something that you HAVE to do by the age of 25. So I'm 24 this year; without a boyfriend.<br />
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So what?<br />
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Whenever people talk to me about getting married, all I can do is force myself to NOT puke in my mouth. The word MARRIAGE scares the hell out of me!<br />
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So shoot me if I never did go long enough with a boy to call it a relationship. I date to know whether we can go further. But somehow, I never go further than that. I just don't connect well with them. Some small annoyance, like the way they eat, the way they treat people in general, the clingy-ness...they just get to me. Yes, and the guys I have major crushes on...they're taken. TAKEN...and I don't like being a third party in any circumstance whatsoever.<br />
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So yes, I want a guy who can understand me well. Whom I can understand well. Oh yeah, while I'm at it...since ALL guys say looks are important, why not take that route too? I've been saying that looks aren't important, but what the hell...from now on, I'm gonna follow suit. I've always been a follower of attraction; but to me, it wasn't JUST the looks. It included something called intelligence, a great sense of humor, a bit of witty sarcasm, a bit of geekism, and a hint of machismo. But since LOOKS are important to guys...oh, well...when in Rome...<br />
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Yeah, looks like I'm lacking in the ideas department...so I thought I'd go with a "bitter" post...thanks. Have a great Monday! <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-67298330902818983022011-10-11T00:42:00.004+08:002011-10-11T01:31:02.960+08:00iFelt Sad: 2 Deaths In A Week Which Affected MeMy grandma died. Saw that my dad was really really sad; he wept like a little boy. I only cried when I saw him that way. I love my grandma coz she was my grandmother...but I still can't forget what she did to my dad and his siblings by leaving them. My dad was only a baby when she left them to marry another man. So now you know.<br /><br />Yes, she was nice to me and my sisters. She had a full life, in terms of being lucky to have her kids care for her and love her unconditionally till her last days on Earth. She is at peace now, and hopefully in a better place.<br /><br />Yes...I am quite removed from this. This did not affect me as much as it would have...<br /><br />Just a day after her death was the death of one of my idols: Steve Jobs. After a long battle with cancer, he's gone. His suffering, too...has ended.<br /><br />Now this 2nd death...this brought me to feel sad...but I couldn't show people that I was more sad for his death now, could I?<br /><br />Man, anyone who reads this might think I'm a bitch for admitting what I'm actually admitting. I read a book about him for my Book Review Presentation during my days as a trainee. It affected me in such a way, that I actually started to research Jobs, the person - his presentations, his personality, history, words of wisdom...and you know what? He...he was the epitome of innovation. He was the ultimate CEO. He followed his passion and what he loved. Now this is something I'm trying very hard to find...doing work which you love.<br /><br />Without him, we would be listening to music through God knows what. We would probably NOT have awesome GUI and calligraphic fonts on computer. We would probably not have computers in our homes. We would NOT have all the touching Pixar animations and the technology to create such heart-warming lovable characters.<br /><br />He was brilliant. He was something I aspired to be (like Oprah, hehehehe).<br /><br />He learned calligraphy, joined the Hare Krishna in India, did psychedelic drugs, opened a company which would be a Fortune 500 company which was synonymous with innovation, craziness and thinking differently.<br /><br />I actually watched his speech at Stanford for the 2nd time (it made me cry). His words resonates with me till now. It made actually my presentation something. I started to follow how he presented things. He was the master of presenting latest gadgets from Apple. Just watch any of the launching of Macbooks, iPods, iPhones, etc...<br /><br />At the end of my presentation, I received an awesome response from the audience just because you could see the twinkle in my eye and that passion. I loved that book and it showed! I wish I could find more of that in my life.<br /><br />Steve may have never known me, but I'm only one of the billions of people affected by his dent he put on the universe. I shall always try my best to follow his favorite quote, "Stay hungry, stay foolish". I shall always look back and "connect the dots" on how the little steps I took in my life affected the outcome...just like his did.<br /><br />Today, and probably for the decades ahead...Steve Jobs's legacy will live on just like Thomas Edison is remembered today. In textbooks, you will be a historical figure.<br /><br />Thanks, Steve. RIP.<br /><br />PS: Grandma...u RIP too. I know you're in a better place now. I hope.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-50320489136813442562011-09-02T23:17:00.002+08:002011-09-03T00:50:01.532+08:001st Anniversary!Yeah...first year since I started my stint with this group. It's sort of an end to something which I would consider as my starting point. My stepping stone.
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<br />Alas, i'm nowhere...I am still in the process of settling. I don't wanna talk about details because I don't think it's important to be documenting on this blog.
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<br />I can't believe how long it's been since I last updated. I remember a time where i used to write about how i was feeling practically everyday or more. Looking at my last post, it was about my nonexistent love-life. Well, that issue is so "nothing new"...hehehe!
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<br />I've come to terms with it...I think God forgot to make my other half when he made me...maybe. But you know what, I'm so over it. In my life, my focus is ME! My family and friends are enough for me to get along in life.
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<br />One thing i'm doing right is crossing out all the things i've wanted to do ever since i was little. I've already accomplished learning French...next thing is learning Salsa...now i've wanted to learn this since the first time I watched Strictly Ballroom. So ok, that movie was more ballroom dancing rather than salsa, but I've always been fascinated by this Latin American dance. It's simply something i've always wanted to do. So yeah...i'm in the process of learning.
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<br />The next thing I wanna do is to further my studies...I just have to, not for anyone else...but just for ME. Because I made a promise to myself to do this...i owe it to me to fulfill my own wish!
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<br />Another is to travel the world. Now I always count on the right timing for basically EVERYTHING. So anytime something I wish for doesn't happen, it's not because of bad luck...it's just bad timing! Yeah...I notice now, everything falls into place when it's the perfect moment, the perfect timing. Guess time is as important as people say, huh?
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<br />Sure have a lot to write about...but when have I not? Maybe I'll see you again in a month or two...or maybe later? lol!
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<br />Anywayz, I miss updating this blog...it's the only consistent thing I've ever done without people knowing about it. I'm happy about it!
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<br />Oh and another thing. Thank you God for all the people in my life...the good, the bad and the ugly. I've learnt from EVERYONE and I would never change anything coz it's shaping me to become the person I aspire to be.
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<br />As for material things...I would like to have some...please? Heheheh...it would be nice to spoil the ones you love when you have the chance to, right? Sigh...I will...one day...God-willing! Amen.
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<br />Here's to random blogposts, coz that's the way I roll!
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-18290121603757048352011-05-22T23:23:00.006+08:002011-05-22T23:42:47.907+08:00Love & FrustrationsI've been watching (500) Days of Summer over and over and over again. OMG, it's so utterly wonderful I find myself quoting the lines since i've watched it for the 1000th time.<br /><br />The story is amazing, the songs...don't get me started. I have the soundtrack and it pretty much sums up every scene of the movie. The fun parts the sad parts, etc...<br /><br />I now understand one thing, though...I might have to accept the fact that i would never ever find that guy i've always hoped for. The first reason is...he doesn't exist. Second, I am so over it. All i've been doing was living an idealistic dream of finding Mr. Right. Nevermind waiting forever..as long as you never settle for less than you deserve.<br /><br />I blame Hollywood. I blame love songs. I blame my high standards. I blame my "don't settle" attitude. I blame myself.<br /><br />And yet...I still can't seem to accept just any man in my life. Maybe because they are not "him" -- you know...that guy! That guy i've been building in my head. He's totally perfect, and because of this, I can't accept anybody who isn't "him". I'm not just another girl who is boy-crazy and will accept any guys who fancies her (like a few girls I know). I know I keep talking about hot guys and shit like that...but that is just me being that playful me that I am. It takes a lot to impress me. I know it's harsh, coz I'm not even remotely close to perfect; I'm trying to be...but nobody's perfect.<br /><br />This is why all I wanna do is advance in every way possible. And be the best person i can be. Why? Because I realize I will end up without a man in my life. That man I've been waiting for...he just doesn't exist. And it's hard for me to accept this fact.<br /><br />I am writing this out of the frustration i've been feeling for a long time. It's only official when I put it in writing. So there...in all its glory...for the world to see.<br /><br />And if I should be with someone sometime in the future...I don't even know I it would be real love, or my eventual conformity into society's expectation of me. But you know that isn't me...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-88567147161842589392011-05-11T01:08:00.003+08:002011-05-11T01:32:04.628+08:00Challenges Motivate MeIt has been more than four months since i've been working where I was posted. I sort of felt lucky that I got good people for colleagues, brilliant bosses who are supportive, highly generous with their knowledge. Some of the others are having a hard time adapting. One friend has not been so lucky.<br /><br />She sort of broke down to me on the phone. I was out doing my outlet evaluation and all that crap and I just got this call. It was her, crying...no talking, just silent sobs. Imagine the shock that was going through me, coz I've never seen her cry. Complain, yes (understandable)...but to cry over work? Something's gotta be wrong. Turns out she's not the only one...another friend lost 5 kgs in just a week, I got another shock once I saw him...whatever it is, I just had to travel back to HQ coz I didn't wanna feel like a useless friend...I mean someone reaching out, you've gotta do what you gotta do, right?<br /><br />I was just pondering about this...I don't have things so good, either. I'm driving almost EVERYWHERE in the Klang valley, using MY own car, filling it with petrol almost every 1.5 days, driving back to the HQ if I finish early (coz I can't seem to go home before 5.30...it's like a sickness!)...and I am not entitled for claims...I don't even wanna count how much I'm spending on travelling coz it will only serve to make me angry, anxious and worried.<br /><br />At this rate, I finish my salary by the time I get the next month's salary credited. So I'm not saving and/or investing the way I planned. Hopefully my boss approves all my claims for traveling, since he chose me for this!<br /><br />Another issue...the GM scolded my boss (poor boss!) for sending me out to do evaluations...says it's too operational and routine. I was thinking this to myself... I don't learn anything, and I can't grow within this company if I don't learn. Therefore, he asked my boss to put me back in the planning and management team...yet again!<br /><br />See? Another issue here...I got into a dept. undergoing consolidation. From Sales, consolidating happened with After-sales...put together under Marketing. And it's cross-functional. So by the time this 5-month stint with traveling is over, my KPI will change yet again! I sort of feel like a ping-pong ball now...and this is happening in my small, pixie-like department (I say pixie coz the dept is small...)<br /><br />Hence, I'm a guinea pig...with no permanent KPI like the other MTs who are having a "bad time coping". I am not complaining though...I know shit happens, but it teaches you lessons like nothing else could. If I could compliment myself...I would say that I am easily-adaptable, judging from all the adapting I've done my whole life. I think I can do this...perhaps prove myself to be a gem.<br /><br />I just pray for my friends who can't handle the stress...1st, you gotta pray. 2nd, come hangout with me and let me entertain you with lame jokes and nasty one-liners.<br /><br />Btw, I am thankful for it all...aim high!!!<br /><br />Au revoir, beeshays!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-28685684380342254822011-02-27T16:58:00.002+08:002011-02-27T17:24:51.284+08:00February Is/Was A Very Bad Month...So it hasn't ended yet...but I can definitely say that it hasn't been a good month.<br /><br />My car window was broken by some fucker who thought that my RM20 modulator was something expensive...broke my window for that shit!!! And scattered my stuff, but didn't steal anything else, coz nothing in my car was of any value! In your face, asswipe!!!<br /><br />Secondly, I had my first car accident with Mikey. Thank God it was nothing serious...rather, it was a funny incident which I shall keep to me, myself, my friends involved, and a few others who ask me. It's an on-going process of insurance claims...as I also have to pay for 3rd party claims.<br /><br />The good thing about it is that my friend, who's car I kissed managed to talk the Traffic police Sargeant into not issuing me a summons...hahaha! That's cool.<br /><br />Oh, taking my colleagues out for lunch...I parked at an empty spot...for just a few minutes...near an electric box...and was given a compound of RM80...FML!<br /><br />Annnnd my workload has just become seriously packed. I am going to be traveling around Malaysia to evaluate my company's >250 dealers...just 8 of us to cover that many dealers in a period of 6 months...awesome?<br /><br />Hahahaha, I might've been excited at first, but now i have come to realize that it's gonna be hectic...damn...it all starts during the new financial year.<br /><br />The good part in all of this? I am gonna learn so much...so very much! Already doing planning and writing the department blueprint is teaching me a lot. Now I know the company I work for has many problems...but at least I'm gonna learn, coz this is NOT an established and successful entity. This is just the right time to learn and experience problem-solving skills which I could gain for the 3 years I'm about to serve.<br /><br />One thing I hope...I hope I do not become jaded and discouraged or demotivated. Coz luckily for me, I have a good rapport with my colleagues...and I still hangout all the time with my fellow MTs. It's a bond that is tough to break...plus, being MY friend...I can't help but be out there and try to remain proactive in reaching out. I'm happy they're the same too!<br /><br />Oh btw...I miss my uni friends too...what happened to you guys? How come no news in a loooong time??? Geezus...A+F...WTH? Where are you???<br /><br />About M, I know everything...so no worries, hehehe!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-75200764769518555732011-01-15T17:49:00.002+08:002011-01-15T18:07:57.166+08:00New Phase for January...Wow...over a month of not blogging! Wow...<br /><br />I'm now an executive at the company I work for...after being a trainee for 4 months. It was a total blast,and I'm currently having withdrawal symptoms...it's a bit like missing my friends from university...or high school...you kinda get that tight feeling in your stomach...where you don't feel like you have closure on the last day...then all of a sudden, while you're doing something - you realize that it's over!<br /><br />Yeah, it sounds like a 'breakup'...but it sorta is, right? After doing some analysis, I realized another thing...this passes! I remember that the 1st few weeks of training wasn't THAT blissful...I now know that it's gonna take awhile to adjust...and I thank God for always thinking this way, hehehe!<br /><br />I am kinda curious to know how they did my character profiling and how they decided to put me in this particular dept...I know that it's project-driven and requires loads of planning, meeting dealers and hopefully, a LOT of traveling! I am lucky that I am under the tutelage of a former MT...he's like a superstar in my department, and I heard that I was put there to replace him!<br /><br />So how does one replace an awesome employee? Damn...but I thank God that we'll be moving towards the Marketing side...and the boss of marketing is soooo freakin' awesome, he is willing to become a mentor to me and many of the other MTs...fyi, only 2 of us were lucky enough to be placed under his dept.<br /><br />And my immediate superior is also a superstar! So one thing I like is that I'm under the best people of this company. Know why? Coz some of my friends were put in departments where you are among complacent employees...but I'm sure they're gonna rise fast just coz they stand out.<br /><br />Well...what else? Mmmm, my dept is fairly new...so a few of us can't count on a proper JD just coz it's "do what you have to do...when you have to do it".<br /><br />We have been hanging out with the previous batch of MTs (MT Batch 1) the other night...we found out that they haven't been as lucky as us...my gratitude is always increasing, and I'll never forget how lucky I am...<br /><br />I know this is gonna be hard, but I'm prepared...I think I have that in me. So, I think that's about it for now...I merely wrote 2% of what's been happening, but...mehh, nobody cares! Just writing for the sake of keeping a memento and closing a phase of my life!<br /><br />I'm kinda proud of myself...my mom always said that I would need connections to get something...what I'm happy about is that I found this job by myself, unlike a few people I know who's mom/dad knows someone...and stuff like that! Not that it's bad...but it makes me proud! What I know is, I owe a lot to my boss...the 1st one who actually believed in me enough to put me and the others here! God bless him!<br /><br />That's all for now...till the next post!<br /><br />So long...bitches! (thought I'd forget this part now, huh? Lol!)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-48462453031055585032010-12-06T02:11:00.004+08:002010-12-06T02:40:48.542+08:00What I Have Learnt So Far...You know, it's amazing what 3 months can do to a person. For one thing, I have become different in a sense...my colleague told me she has actually seen a transformation in me; from the first time I ever presented my task, to now. I have become more outspoken & more confident.<br /><br />I was and am always shy when it comes to strangers. However, when it comes to doing a presentation or a job, I guess I was always quiet when it comes to giving opinions and input. I am sometimes drowned in a sea of outspoken human beings, and I have put this forward to my superiors...but I guess the months I spent in training has trained me for the better. I am more focused and structured. I consciously make the effort to see things from a bird's eye view, rather than from a smaller perspective...<br /><br />Wow...as much as I have heard the first batch of MTs talk and complain about how hard it is and how they are always facing challenges...I think I am going to see it in a different angle. I see it as a way to practice on my problem-solving skills. And of course, I can gain experiences and know what I can or cannot repeat. You see, what I've learned as well is...<br /><br />Everything you go through depends on YOU; on your ATTITUDE...you can whine and bitch and complain about how life is unfair...but YOU have the power to make it how you want it to be. They chose me for my attitude...coz honest to God, I had no skills whatsoever...hahahaa!<br /><br />Slowly, I am trying to be a better me. I have a lot of things to change about myself; my messiness, my structure of thoughts, etc.<br /><br />What I am really proud of though...is that I'm NOW a punctual person (at work, ok!). If I ain't early...I'm on time! And that is waaaaay better, TTYTT!<br /><br />What else? Oh yeah, I have met one or two people here who are my peers...they have that feeling of 'entitlement', thinking that they are higher/greater than certain people - like the technicians, advisors or salespeople...I say, with this attitude...you might go somewhere in life, but when tough times come about, nobody will be there to help you. Again, ATTITUDE...what I don't understand is how they could even consider themselves so great when they haven't even performed...and yet, act so arrogantly towards those they consider 'lower' than themselves.<br /><br />That is why, I shall pull myself back from these types of people...I don't like being around negative/toxic people...thank you very much!<br /><br />However, if I could tell you about the good people I'm mixing with, I could write for days...I am lucky that there are more good peeps than bad. I am happy here in training. I don't know what the future holds, but I sure will enjoy all I can NOW...but absorb as much as I could for now (and also as long as I live).<br /><br />I am also considering furthering my studies...I think I would love to get an MBA. No, scratch that...I WANT and MBA. Maybe, if possible...I would go register next year or 2012 (if it's not the apocalypse, heheheh!)<br /><br />Man, this is quite long...I wanna write a lot more, but I think I should go to sleep now.<br /><br />PS: I am the official mode of entertainment among my colleagues. The stories they tell of me...is like when M tells the story of my 'gelabah-ness'...<span style="font-style: italic;">faham-faham sendiri ye? </span>Hahahaha...<br /><br />Toodlez, bitches!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-8968848486539172322010-11-17T21:43:00.003+08:002010-11-17T22:10:26.486+08:00I Wanna Be XO...I know it has been a long time...but here I am, typing every thought which is in my head...don't think of it as anything important, coz I sure can write some crazy stuff when I don't filter it...so don't take it as me being conceited or anything like that, k?<br /><br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Is it wrong to wanna be extraordinary? What does it take? Does it require you to give up an area of your life which people deem as important?<br /><br />All I ever wanted since I was young was to be different. To be somebody. To give my parents all I can...so that they can say all their sacrifices had been worth it. To give my sisters the big house, all the things they want and need...and more!<br /><br />Can I achieve this? I really want to, but I don't know if I have it in me...and I surely need God to be with me all the way. Coz in this world, nobody is gonna give you what you want...in this world, you're gonna have to get out there and take it! Coz you can get whatever the hell you want, as long as you have the courage to receive it.<br /><br />This past few months have been awesome in terms of learning and absorbing...as I keep telling people...I'm basically a sponge...and I hope I keep learning throughout my whole life...<br /><br />Another thing is, I know I always say this, but sometimes I feel so miniscule, so minute in this universe...like I am a part of something bigger...just like everyone else...I feel that we are all connected...we are of the same web. Weird, I know...but yeah, it's how I feel. Geez, this is so random...<br /><br />Ok...a weird story, as per below:<br /><br />I saw this young man in the training center I go to. I don't know, but he kept staring at me and my friends intensely for a long time. Then, a few days later...I saw him again while I had to go to the bathroom...they were renovating the one nearby, so I had to go to the one far away...and there he was, walking behind me. I didn't think of anything at that moment...<br /><br />Fast forward to a few hours later, he accidentally opened our door...and probably mistakenly came into our training room. We laughed (all of us, coz he was pretty panicked, AND it was funny!) All of a sudden, I felt something inside me say, "OMG...it's him!!!", and I felt this intense feeling in the pit of my stomach...like something crazy was going on and I felt confused and shit...<br /><br />I for one, don't know what the hell it means, but it was like I was waiting for this guy to come into my life or something...yes, it was that BIG ok! Soooo intense, that I became super quiet and anxious all of a sudden. It fuckin' freaked me out...and no, it wasn't like I had a crush on this guy coz I sure haven't seen him enough to be crushing on him. But the feeling was like I knew him...even though I'm sure I don't. Hmmm, like we've met before...even though I'm sure we haven't!<br /><br />So, the moral of the story is...I love this program so far coz it's full of learning experiences...and the other is...I'M A CRAZY NUT!!!<br /><br />Ok. The end. For now.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-37792390651452739662010-11-01T01:58:00.003+08:002010-11-01T02:11:04.819+08:00November Rain...I'm not writing about the song...just thought since it's November and all...why not!<br /><br />My previous post was about a book presentation...and what do you know? Fast forward to a month later, and I'm writing about my 2nd book review presentation!!! Damn, time passes by too quickly, and I can't believe I didn't blog this past few weeks...wow!<br /><br />A lot has happened...one of the main thing is I hit a milestone...the first milestone for a newbie like me...I purchased my first asset...a car! Mind you, it's a starter car...the most basic and affordable! It's white, solid white...and I've named him Mikey...short for Michael, heheheh! Hell, you could even call him Mike if you like!<br /><br />What can I say...I didn't plan to get one, but since I NEED one, and my work requires me to travel everywhere...a lot!!! I HAD to buy one so as to not give my family anymore stress! I've been making things hard for them, I just couldn't handle it anymore...the same goes for them...they couldn't handle waiting for me, sending me...it's just a waste on fuel and time! BUT, I get staff rates...that's what I'm happy for most of all...<br /><br />Mikey is a good car...and finally, I get to choose what station I want, what CD to listen to, and go wherever, whenever (not quite WHENEVER though) I want...<br /><br />What else? Oh, another book review presentation in front of managers and GMs and maybe CEO this Thursday...and guess what? I haven't ven finished reading the book! Fuck! I can do it, I can do it! The previous presentation was fine, but I was one of the last ones, so everyone was pretty much jaded...and this time, we drew lots...and I got one of the last ones yet again! FUCK!!!<br /><br />I know I could finish on time...but will I make give a high impact presentation? Only time will tell...would I blog any time soon? Only my sheer will would guide me, lol!<br /><br />One thing...I love this blog!!! Coz you are my sole witness to everything that's in my life...anything I went through, you know! And for that...I thank God for the internet...<br /><br />...Amen!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-41929540156030286012010-10-03T12:00:00.002+08:002010-10-03T12:02:18.824+08:00Book Review Arrrrggghhh!!!You think it's over, those varsity days of assignments...then you become a management trainee and your 1st presentation is to present a book review to the 7 GMs and a CEO of the company.<br /><br />AARRRGGGHHH!!! Shitdamncrap!!!<br /><br />Ok. Done.<br /><br />God bless!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-68736006752336460212010-09-29T21:55:00.002+08:002010-09-29T22:04:09.265+08:00Wow!Didn't I just write about men who would just buck-up and tell a girl how they feel? That's exactly what happened to me these past few days...unbelievable! I admire him for being brave and taking the first step...ok, so I actually respect him for his actions, but that doesn't mean we're an item now! I'm just acknowledging that there are men who are man enough to go after what they want...it gives a girl a sense of optimism and hope! :P<br /><br />God bless that boy...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-55878574173678128782010-09-19T17:50:00.009+08:002010-09-19T18:27:37.890+08:00Is It A Weakness...or Strength?A few days ago, we had this trainer come in to teach us a few things...he was amazing; an older gentleman, with years...I mean YEARS of experience. He's huge around the region, the US, UK and Australia. He was the one who assessed us Management Trainee hopefuls during the 2-day assessment. Mind you, there were 2 sessions for this. The first one was earlier this year. I was in the 2nd one in August.<br /><br />He taught us many things and told us countless inspirational stories to motivate us and teach us that if it is to be a reality, it will be up to us...the line goes like this, "IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME". This line helped him during a dark period of his life, where an old sage told him to buck up and be what he wants to be. It really affected us all...coz look what has become of this trainer...he has achieved many things, trained countless MNCs, and about 60,000 people!!!<br /><br />The last day of training, at the last session, he made us do this activity...the finale! He made each person stand in front and be complimented by each and every person. So you can imagine me giving countless sincere compliments...like one-on-one, eye contact and hugging...while giving a good, sincere good quality compliment to one person at a time!<br /><br />I was the last one...you know how I hate compliments, but he says that you can't say NO or shake your head...you just had to nod and say thank you! THIS, ladies and gentleman...this affected me tremendously!<br /><br />In the end, 11 out of 15 of the MTs started shedding tears, and I just couldn't help myself! I immediately started crying after a few of my close colleagues (now my friends) gave me sincere compliments...the others too, each hugged me or held my hand, looked into my eyes and said that I could achieve great things, that I was a kind person...that I was beautiful, etc.<br /><br />All these years I never believed it! All the years passed by me telling everyone else that they were beautiful, but I hadn't realized that EVERYONE is...and that includes ME! Sometimes I forget all the hard and negative crap that I've been through growing up because I sort of erased them from my memories and just leave them behind...but the nasty comments given to me stuck at the back of my head. Telling me I'm not good enough, although countless of times I've been told otherwise.<br /><br />This session helped me realize that what I was doing was wrong. I am beautiful like everyone else. I just never believed people could perceive me that way. Until that day...<br /><br />In the end, the session was done...and he asked each of us to sum up what we had gained from this training...I was last again...and though some had traces of tears while they explained what exactly they had learned, when I started to talk...I actually choked-up and couldn't even finish a sentence...bugger! I showed everyone my vulnerability...they embraced me and that made me so overcome with emotions even more. What had this done to meeeee??? I basically was holding back from crying, making it even more obvious that I was crying!<br /><br />LMAO...this was a breakthrough, people! I have NEVER cried in public! NEVER...wow! And I saw that the trainer was gonna cry as well...it was such a positive moment where all you could feel was love around you. I know it sounds like some hippie movement, but that's truly how it was. Saying goodbye (not the last time we'd be meeting him though!), I couldn't just shake his hand, I went ahead and gave him a big old hug! AND that's why he's who he is!<br /><br />Anyway, truth be told...I truly treasured this session and it made all of us closer...I think this organization could achieve greatness if training for self-growth is given. For now, I think they are spoiling us with these lessons. In a good way!<br /><br />Dare I say it, I'm looking forward to going for "training" every day! Could I love my job? Only God knows...but I think I'm heading with the right attitude...Amen!<br /><br />And God bless Mr. Trainer (I won't reveal his name) for teaching me lessons, not only about management skills...but about life too!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-2553392603450444272010-09-19T03:13:00.003+08:002010-09-19T03:18:59.681+08:00-___-Why can't some people just come out and say it? Why do they need to create an elaborate game plan just to attain something they're not even sure of? It seems funny to me why this happens...it looks so forced and unnatural to me, and I hate it!<br /><br />Stop wasting your time...be a man! Most of us aren't complicated, and I'm not those girls who like playing games.<br /><br />Ok...totally out-of-the-blue, but it's what I wanna say for now.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-76416119874447051872010-09-12T16:23:00.002+08:002010-09-12T16:29:59.237+08:00DAMN FOOLSSS!!!Ok...so I got into the Dean's List. They sent me a certificate. They wrote on the envelope, "Jangan lipat/Do not fold!"<br /><br />Then some idiots at the post office or maybe the postman goes on and folds it...I open it in anger. It is so crumpled-up like a tissue paper...I become the Hulk! Fuck you...my first (and last) time getting this honor, and the idiot spoils it!!!<br /><br />-___-<br /><br />Sorry, but for someone like me who has never gotten into the Dean's List...I am pretty <span style="font-style: italic;">jakun</span>+excited...so don't blame me for getting a little nuts...k? Thanks!<br /><br />Idiot postman!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-27472944398650162162010-09-12T13:21:00.002+08:002010-09-12T13:59:19.222+08:00Holidays...Well, here's one thing I'd never thought I'd have this early on...a four-day holiday! Heheh...well, so far...it's been good! Challenges await me, but I'm ready! I'm eyeing the Marketing Department...just because I relate to it so much. It's strategy, long-term planning, delegating, communicating to the advertisers, intermediary to the mother organization and its subsidiary...it's more ME! But...early on I see others eyeing that department, too!<br /><br />I don't know if they started assessing which MT goes to which dept yet...but then again, we've only been here for about 2 weeks. The hard part hasn't even started yet! On my part, I have to read this awesome book by the Harvard Business Review...okay, so I haven't done anything, but I know it's a great book that I would enjoy reading!<br /><br />Not even receiving my first paycheck, and my Mom is already planning what I may or may not pay for... -____- Okay, so I WILL pay for some utilities here...I always said I would! BUT please don't go planning for me to pay for things and buying this-and-that when I'm only a week in...<br /><br />Hmmm, there never fails to be a sort of pressure with Mom...I know that she hates that I took this job, since there's no way in 3 years I would be working for the diplomatic corps (see what I did there? Hahhaahha...genius!!!) :P<br /><br />Another thing is the need of a car! I NEED one!!! So far, I've been going to and from work by driving Dad's car coz my sister is on a 2-week break. After this, she'll have to send me to work again! It's hard and it's such a waste on petrol...I've already broken down my pay in case I get a car...it's gonna be a challenge, but one I'm willing to take! Even the toll is about RM10 a day...their travel allowance is just enough for a month's worth of toll.<br /><br />Wow, somebody needs a pay hike asap! I will do a great job and get a pay hike within 6 months...this is my short-term goal!!! I know that I can't get it within 4 months because I'll be in training...but I will try AFTER that. ;P<br /><br />So...what else? Oh, everyone in my batch is somehow attached or engaged to be married...this makes me realize that I am the odd one out...I don't even state my status...just gonna leave it at that and let them guess all they want...know what? I've been so lucky in so many areas of my life...I have accepted that I'm just unlucky in ONE area...I have come to terms with this; there is no man who will ever make my dreams come true...coz what I want is a fairytale which doesn't exist. I have built this man in my head so high, that no actual person could ever fulfill this dream...well, nobody asked me to dream this BIG, right? It's just me dreaming big like I always do (well, it's not like I'm the perfect girl anyway...hehehe! ), coz Oprah always tells us to "Dream big!"...and this is something that I couldn't do any other way! :)<br /><br />Also, I miss my home in the Philippines...when any of my relatives from Guagua message me on Facebook, I am instantly taken back to the paddy fields...the jeepney rides in the village...the family...I remember the boat ride we took, exactly like in one of my dreams...it was just wonderful! This is the very reason I believe in LoA...so far it has worked tremendously for me.<br /><br />The trip to Paris was my ultimate LoA dream as well, but I think now is not the time...doesn't mean I'll never get there...I sent a letter of resignation to my lecturer, and he sent a heartfelt reply. No matter what, I will try my best to get them at least ONE sponsor...a good one! I really miss taking French classes with my friends...when you leave, it's not the lessons that you remember...it's the memories! AND I'm glad that I have created memories with the people I love...no matter what happens, I'll always have photographs and keepsakes from the 3 years we've spent together (and some I've known for longer ;P).<br /><br />Wow, it's been so long since I've written a long, brain-extracting post! Voila...<br /><br />I don't expect anyone to read this, but it's so cathartic for me to write what I'm feeling. I will certainly read this post in the future, feeling the same emotions...God bless!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-31505439906977024712010-09-06T23:51:00.002+08:002010-09-07T00:07:44.920+08:00So Much Has Happened...I can't believe it...the time has passed so quickly...and all this while I haven't updated my journal...how can this be? I miss you...I miss coming here and typing everything in my head...where no judgment passes me...all the words just lie here in a vacuum of the blogosphere!<br /><br />I am currently working...yes, I AM WORKING!!! OMG...I didn't say it earlier because I didn't wanna jinx it, but who needs to say anything when you have a mother who practically broadcasts everything on her Facebook wall??? I am laughing now, but when she did it at the time, I was so freakin' mad and embarrassed...well, the past is past...fast forward to now...I did get the job, and I'm now undergoing training!<br /><br />What's mad is I have joined the automobile industry...which is something I have never thought of joining...but whoever said the Taurus sign isn't flexible...eat your heart out!!! This is a total 180 for me in every way! Cars...I have to eat, sleep and breathe cars...I am actually looking forward to this...hahaha, especially the part where I will be attached as a technician! OMG...<span style="font-style: italic;">ganassss</span> aka fierce!!! LMAO!!!<br /><br />Okay, so it's been a few days of ups and downs, but I have been warned that the coming weeks are gonna be hell...I'm freakin' ready...ready for anything you wanna give me!!!<br /><br />I shall note my day-to-day activities if I can...one of the trainers said it's good to keep notes, so you don't forget...or maybe a few years down the road, you can read it again and remember the good and bad of your past experiences. For now...those other MTs are my friends, and I'm sure we're gonna grow together. Please be with us, God!<br /><br />And as for the trip to Paris...as much as I want to go...I am bonded to the organization which hired me...I have 4 months of training, in which I can't take leave...so I sent in my resignation and pulled out of the trip...much to my sadness. But I can';t do anything but support my friends who are lucky enough to join the trip...please do it, and live my dream for me... :D<br /><br />What else? Oh, I might get a car soon...might get staff price without waiting a year since we're bonded for 3 freakin' years!!! Muahahah, I don't want one, but I NEED one! It's just impossible to borrow Dad's car all the time! Impossible! Hey, even if I don't get the staff price...I NEED one... :(<br /><br />Till the next post...I'm fuckin' sleepy...it's 12 am...OMG, I'm becoming normal!!! :-0<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-24064046961760519522010-08-20T01:43:00.006+08:002010-08-20T02:27:21.414+08:00Evil...It's evil; this new phenomenon of dumping babies, aka infanticide. It's becoming rampant here in Malaysia, and I'm not gonna sugar-coat it: almost every day, you will see at least one report on a newly-born baby being dumped...they are either dead, alive, or barely alive. Some are half-eaten by bugs...some are foetuses (among the garbage) who never had a chance.<br /><br />Why is this happening? Some groups think it's because of free-socializing amongst teens during "Western" celebrations such as New Year's Day...WTF? Yeah, blame it on celebrations and integration...it's so typical! It's so in-your-face and clear: the reason is the lack of sex education amongst the young...all because SEX is taboo! AND, the stigma that comes with teen pregnancies (or babies born outside of wedlock). Come on and open your eyes...teenagers are doing it; they're having sex whether it's against religion or not...they simply are! Asian values? What does that even mean? Does that mean that Asians don't have sex? If only you were open-minded enough to realize it and not hide behind a veil of denial...then we could nip this issue in the bud!<br /><br />I guess I'm just pissed! Pissed that this issue is happening everyday! These are lives...humans lives...newly-born babies!!! I'm not even saying I'm Pro-Life or against Pro-Choice (or some of those American politicized stances people there tend to take). I'm just a human being trying to make sense of this. The Malaysian gov is now considering harsh punishments for parents who commit infanticide...is this what we have become?<br /><br />Sometimes, I see Malaysia going far...but at times such as this, I see us left far, far behind due to a few bad apples. After all, you're only as strong as your weakest link! What we need is open minds and open debate, not blame-games and minds stuck in the Dark Ages...<br /><br />Okay...I'm done venting! Sorry <span style="font-style: italic;">lah</span>...I'm just mad right now...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-48160951578923347002010-08-17T21:48:00.004+08:002010-08-17T23:20:50.189+08:00How?How did I get so lucky in life? I thank God every single day for being this way...charmed! I may not have been born with a silver-spoon in my mouth, but I have the best family I could ever dream of...the best friends who are the best people ever...and the basic things you need to survive...AND I am blessed!<br /><br />I've always prayed to God to show me the way to what I want to achieve...you see, I have the vision and goal, but I don't know how to get there! It was always holding me back. My parents, as lucky as I am to have them always seem to put high expectations...and here I am, an average Jane...a grain of sand...a piece of clay waiting to be moulded!<br /><br />I sometimes wonder what else can I do or learn to make myself better; Learn another instrument? Learn more about computer-languages? Learn how to fly? Well...I suppose I could learn everything but it's more about self-perception.<br /><br />I'm slowly learning that there must be something within us...as well as something we all were put here to achieve. And from what I think, it's all up to us to dream...we create our vision for the future...but God blesses the road we take.<br /><br />I know it all seems sudden...but I always wonder what I did to deserve such a fortunate journey...all I can do now is thank God and live every moment the way I want to live it...<br /><br />Thank you, God for finally giving me the "brick" I needed! I'm only waiting for my new phase to begin.<br /><br />Amen.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-61396578599606223662010-08-08T04:45:00.003+08:002010-08-08T05:04:19.755+08:00Today's The Day!Today is the day I graduate...I'm so freakin' scared, and I don't know why! Guess it's because it's the end of a phase in my life.<br /><br />Ever had that feeling of fear of the unknown, yet a slight hint of excitement follows? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling now. I have finally hit that "SEND" button for 2 job advertisements...and hell, I've been meaning to these past few months, but I've been stalling due to certain wants...<br /><br />I guess there's no longer a reason NOT to apply now...is there? I'm gonna do it; gonna start looking for a job. I just needed a few months of pure sloth so that I could take a break for awhile, you know?<br /><br />I know for a fact that I will never be this 'free' anymore once I start...it's gonna be work, work, work and more work! So at least I could say that I've spent time with my family.<br /><br />The one thing I'm scared about is the ceremony itself...everyone's so caught up with being perfect, I'm afraid I'd stick out like a sore thumb in terms of being under-done! Man...some people are going to salons just to do their hair and makeup...and all I have is my straightening iron!<br /><br />Hehehe...well, there's nothing left to do...I've taken the odor-horrible robe to the dry-cleaner's and got it cleaned...at least I won't smell like an onion gone bad!!! :P God, I hope I don't forget any necessary items...<br /><br />For now, all I can do is hope I don't screw-up! And while we're at it...I also wanna have fun!<br /><br />But most of all...I just wanted to say congratulations to all my friends who are graduating with me coz you know I wouldn't have had such a great journey without you...love you guys and thank you for being my friends and sticking with me all this while despite my flaws.<br /><br />Hoping we grow into better people is what I really want for all of us...and happiness throughout our lives as well.<br /><br />Here's hoping we have an awesome graduation!!! Class of 2010, bitches...yeehaw!!!<br /><br />PS: More emoting still to come...stay tuned!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-8820886892772248552010-07-25T04:09:00.004+08:002010-07-25T04:36:17.419+08:00One Thing To Cross-out...It's almost like an obsession...this need to play the guitar everyday at 4-5 in the morning. I know it's sick, but it sort of gets me to a different place. One, because nobody is here to hear it...just me. So no pressure. Second, it's more like a proud moment every time I play a song just because it's self-taught. Thirdly, it's so I don't get rusty.<br /><br />It's not like I'm great...matter of fact, I can only play the major important chords that could make all kind of songs. You'd be amazed on the amount of songs you could play just by knowing a few chords.<br /><br />Now the best thing is...I don't have to search for chords online coz I could just write down the chords of a song by myself and transpose the song to another key...with easier chords...<br /><br />Mom heard me playing a song the other day (The Bends by Radiohead...I wrote the chords myself...and it sounds correct...yay!!!) and said, "Wow, you can play...I'm so proud!" like as if I played like Slash or Jimi...hahahahah! But I'm not afraid to play in front of her and my sisters. If I were to play in front of my dad, however...I'd be scared as shit!!!<br /><br />My sister told my dad that I play real good and I should give her ex-bf (now her friend) lessons...I flatly denied and called her a liar just so I wouldn't have to play in front of Dad. Hahahaha...that's "intimidation" for you!<br /><br />BUT...whatever it is...I am happy to state that this is one thing I can cross-out in terms of what I can do...<br /><br />You see, I made a list a long time ago (age 15-16 or so)...and you know what...I've done almost all of it! So, after I learn ONE computer language, travel, take up photography AND get my writing published (somewhere), I'll write a new one!!! :D<br /><br />At least I can say for certain that I finish what I start...and that ain't a bad thing!!!<br /><br />Man, the thousands of things I wanna do...I think I should start that list now coz I know for sure that certain goals, such as getting published is like asking for the moon...hehehe!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-24953079827275843812010-07-18T05:10:00.005+08:002010-07-18T05:39:48.077+08:00Parotidectomy...That's what my sister's surgery is called...and the latest news on my sister's operation is as follows. I'm just documenting this so that it may help someone else who may have this surgery...<br /><br />According to her x-ray scans, she was supposed to have a superficial tumor on her parotid gland...turns out it was a deeper tumor...one that went through her facial muscle...so you might say that it was deeper than expected. The assumed 2-4 hour surgery became a little longer than 5 whole hours!!! Imagine our worried faces...they started at 2-something pm...the latest she should've been back in her room was at 6pm. It's 8pm and she's still not back!!! Imagine...<br /><br />Thank God her there were 2 surgeons at hand...there wasn't supposed to be an extra surgeon, but looks like it worked in her favor, coz my sister's surgeon did not expect it to be that complicated. As he explained...they had to stretch her cheek-muscle, do many suctions and not destroy the nerve which connects 5 facial area movements. It was successful...but it weakened the left side of her face...and although she can't move one side of her face that much for now, she will be able to in a week or two...<br /><br />...but now comes another part to worry about.<br /><br />Since this was a deeper tumor, they have to run tests to see whether it (the tumor) came from the nerve...if it did, they would have to remove the nerve on her face, since it would only grow more tumors in the future...they would have to graft a nerve from her leg...sort of transplanting your leg nerve to your face, which would result in months of physiotherapy...and the doctor also explains that she might not be able to move every muscle of her face as before...this, my dears is the worst-case scenario. I can't sleep thinking of this. As my sister hears the doctor, I try my best not to show any signs of worry just so she won't panic or cry. But she was strong and took it like a trooper!<br /><br />Man, now all of us are praying that it's NOT from the nerves...we pray that it's just a random tumor and that's that! The doctor kept saying "we are praying that it's not coming from the nerve..."<br /><br />Well, so are we, doctor! So are we...<br /><br />...coz if it is just some random tumor...my sis will have a full recovery and won't have to worry about anything else except keeping healthy! And as a realistic optimist...I know that God will always be there for her and for us too. May she obtain an "all-clear" from the results and her doctor soon...Amen!<br /><br />For now, we're all traveling to and from the hospital all the time. She had to remain warded an extra day due to some complications. So it's like 3 days in a hospital jail for her, the poor thing! She will come home later today...at least that's we're hoping!<br /><br />God bless her, the rest of my family and friends...and their loved ones as well...AMEN!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-18770585191529321652010-07-14T03:41:00.007+08:002010-07-14T04:18:06.489+08:00Operation Countdown...My sister (the 20-year old one) has another cyst...this time on the corner of her face. She has to go for surgery tomorrow. The poor thing, I hope it all goes well. She's really strong...she showed be the probable scar that will be left, and it's actually kinda hardcore...from the ear, along the jawline...to the bottom of her ear till the neck...<br /><br />You'd think it's huge...it is. But I think it'll fade off nicely just coz her doctor is an ENT specialist, so he's bound to know how to close the incision rather nicely.<br /><br />Man...some things you just wished would happen to you (I mean ME) instead...she's had too many surgeries at 20 years of age...first two were the tumors on her breast. :(<br /><br />One thing to be thankful for: It's benign...<br /><br />Anyway, God give her strength to pull through...we will always always always be there for the original "Princess of the house". Perhaps she might work the scar and make it seem like a fashion statement, like her huge-ass tattoo (hehehe)...at least till one of us could afford plastic surgery. Yeah...the jokes...as usual, to cover my nervousness...i'm nervous for her, okay? I know...not cool!<br /><br />Actually, after checking it out (I checked Google...where else?), the scar would seem unnoticable in 6 months due to the sutures done underneath the skin, whereas the skin would be sealed using 'Dermabond'...a glue-like substance commonly used for facial surgery...so I hope it all goes well. We're more worried about her facial nerves.<br /><br />It's rather risky, the tumor is connected to the parotid gland, which is connected to the 5 nerves which control her facial movements...one slight mistake and she might not be able to do certain facial movements...so, of course...this is our main concern!<br /><br />God, please let the surgery be a success!!!<br /><br />Amen.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13892036.post-412788006279361152010-07-10T19:42:00.004+08:002010-07-10T20:09:33.538+08:00Oh What A Week!WARNING: A depressing post...<br /><br />It's been a rather sucky week...<br /><br />First of all...I had to vent about my mom not supporting me and shit like that...but that was that. A rant! But I took the post out as fast as I posted it just because it wasn't me talking as much as it was my own resentment. I feel so sorry and guilty for it now...my mom has been the most supportive person in my life...and maybe this is just one part she wouldn't let go because she saw a glimmer of me finishing her unattainable ambition?<br /><br />Maybe...but I shouldn't let my bitterness out as I did...I would just have to show her I can make it without going her pathway for me...I put my future in God's hands, whatever it is. I always wanted to achieve something big...to leave with a legacy bigger than myself. But it all depends on God and my own effort. We'll see how it happens though...<br /><br />Secondly, My dear Uncle J has been confirmed to have a very aggressive form of cancer...which has now spread to his bones...and as he came to the house for a visit, my dad found out his brother, Uncle C had been found to have cancer...lung cancer. Both these men came over the same day. Uncle C's stage is unknown, and tests are currently being done while treatments to kill the cancer cells have begun. It was an extremely sad day for me, my family and the families of the brave men...<br /><br />Earlier that day, my godfather called to tell me that his brother had passed away...<br /><br />Literally one of the worst weeks...ever!<br /><br />Not just saddening to think that my uncles diagnosed with cancer are just so brave...they even joke about their predicament...even saying that they would meet each other at "the gates"...I was successful in hiding my tears...and so were the rest of my family, except my mother...damn! Just then, Uncle J's eyes were welling-up, but he managed to put on a brave face.<br /><br />Just goes to show that anything can be taken away...you never know when your loved ones would be taken away. After everyone had left, I just went into the bathroom to cry...thinking that cancer is such a death sentence if found too late...I prayed to God to protect the rest of my family members and friends from this horrible disease...<br /><br />Then, just the other day I had a horrid dream: I had a dream where I heard my 20-year old sister screaming after answering the phone call in her room. I raced up, thinking the worst...I thought my father was dead...and it turned out Uncle C had died...<br /><br />Then I woke up! Fucking awful dream coz it felt so real!<br /><br />So, to sum it up...the past two weeks were filled with bad news...but I pray with all my heart and soul that God gives these men the strength and courage to go through it all...same goes to those around them. From what I see, my uncles are the ones consoling family members instead of the opposite...<br /><br />Life goes on though...we just have to pull through...then again, it's easier said than done, right? All we can do is try our best.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://feeds.delicious.com/v2/js/networkbadge/ledzeppelin_4evr?showadd&icon=s&name&itemcount&nwcount&fancount"></script></div>Ledzeppelin4evrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12319183129773896400noreply@blogger.com0