Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What Would You Do?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What would you do if you were on a month's vacation out of uni, had no money, and your friends are busy with work or college?

I don't know...help!

So i have a few books to read...is that all i'm gonna do this time?

Plus! This just in: My mom's been posted in Sabah from the 15th of December-15th of January yet again!!! You know what that means, right?

No Christmas Eve, no Christmas spirit, no New Year's Eve...nada! Ok, ok...so it's better for the parents' finances coz it'll pay for the xmas extras. I've said many times to them that "I'm all for it!"...well, i was/am just being a good sport...I mean, it's a good thing...but I can't be selfish by showing my unhappiness. I just can't do that! Even my two youger sisters do not feel like I do, I can tell...

So why am I feeling this way? Maybe because my mom was the one who took care of me throughout my childhood (unlike my two siblings)...my middle sis was taken care of by a nanny since she was six or so...and the baby? Well, now it's dad's turn to be Mr. Mom. My dad was always the one who went to diff locations for work.

It's like the two switched places, which is funny. My dad works nights now. It's a family effort when it comes to taking care of baby...so we all have our share of responsibilities. C'mon, i'm 21, and my middle sister is 18...it's so much fun, though...so no complaints there...

Looking at my baby sister, it's like...I dunno. Sometimes I feel like it's surreal, maybe it's all a dream. It's like having a bundle of joy...or your very own living doll at home. I tell you, if it wasn't for baby A, we wouldn't be half as close as we are now. My middle sis' shenanigans have ceased to zilch, my dad has mellowed from his strict exterior, now showcasing a soft side...my mom? Whoah, she's a tiger now! Lol! Maybe the last two scenarios are brought on by hormones.

Back to the title...

What the heck am I supposed to do during this time off? Is this a foreshadow of a sucky xmas? Geez, the possibility of my mom not being here is already giving me a glimpse of a not-so-happy xmas! And New Year!

Shit!!! And...it will be my 22nd New Year (21st, technically)...OMG, why does time have to go on quickly? I didn't even have fun this year...I thought time flies when you're having fun?

And there's your whiny post, yet again. Til I get in the xmas spirit, I will not post another happy post! Feel free to pour in words of affirmations!

Toodlez, bitches!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Packin' Up & Goin' Home...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A bittersweet feeling occurs when times like these pass...

It's not that I don't wanna go home, but it's more like, "What have I really done or achieved in the past semester?"

It's more like a surge of missing the past...yeah, in the moment, you don't feel it. But when it's time to pack up, you tend to look back and reminisce...then, you sigh at how quick time slips through your fingers; causing you to think about the way you wasted it on idleness...

Emoting? Maybe...

But there sure is truth in it.

Plans for the holidays? I sure as hell hope that I can use the time to meet up with lost contacts...and I hope I do not use stupid reasons such as "lack of ca$h" and "busy with babysitting my sister"...UNACCEPTABLE!!!

I will make time! I will have fun coz I have the right to be happy (as one of my fave lecturers keep telling us). Yes...I do have the right to be happy. Perhaps some ME-time won't be so bad, right?

Okay...done with the emo thing...back to business.

How do I pack these stuff in my dorm already? Shit!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Shit, can I just say shit all over my blog?





The end!

Just some shitty (no pun intended) motif for you to enjoy while I use the term as a way to blow some steam...hahahaha...blow! ROFL...

This just in: I'm goin' nuts...lol!

Like you didn't know!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Thomas & Friends...AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Okay, okay...since having a baby sister (who now is a TV addict), we have re-subscribed to the Disney package - Disney channel, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Playhouse Disney. My sis' fave? Playhouse Disney of course...they did good with this channel. The demographics would be the toddlers and infants. The colors are just a feast for a kid's eyes...

So, i'm now one of those peeps who sings those songs I hate just to entertain little A...but one thing I can't stand...those hideous trains from Sodor...those botox-ed faces with wandering eyes...

Hearing the intro for the show, the song is an OK kids' show song...but the characters? OMG! Scary as hell!!!

Well, those kids might beg to differ...my sis...she loves them scary mo'fos. Just seeing Thomas (and his stupid friends) make me shudder...look!

Tell me to my face he ain't scary!

Well...what about his friends?

Nothing on their faces moves, except their pupils...I wonder why those kids aren't scared. Just like I wonder why in hell do they love that purple dinosaur...
Yeah, you know who i'm talking about...I can recall that I never liked these characters when I was little...hah! A born cynic...
Cute characters, IMHO are Elmo, Pooh and friends...that famous mouse, however...annoying!

M-M-M-My Sharona!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Don't know why but I really really love that song! Haha...it's My Sharona from The Knack, baby!

Well, with my dad being a musician, i am exposed to songs from way back before I was even born...

But this song, I knew and grew to love after watching this movie, which I must say is one of my fave MTV-era movies of all time. Some of you may or may not like it, but hey...it spawned the one hit wonder that is 'Stay' by Lisa Loeb, which I love too!

If you still didn't guess it (you're a dud!)...it's 'Reality Bites' of course!!!

Something about the pre-kleptomanic Wynona that screams innocence...it was hard not to love her character. And what about pre-Uma Ethan Hawke? Do I even have to add to that? Umm, guess not...he was the ultimate tortured soul...hot? Yesss! Annoying? Double yess!!! But it all made sense, and the story is one that i'll always love.

Hahhh...the memories...the '90s. Oh, man I've got to do an entry about the '90s! Being but a young'un during the era of grunge, still pristine-MTV, where no respected rapper will even consider 'Sweat drip down my balls!' as part of a song...it was a hell of a decade! But maybe i'm just biased!

Why am I talking about this already?

Oh, yeah...M-M-M-My Sharona!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Law of Attraction and Manifestations...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hahaha, reading about The Secret tells me that I have somehow acquired this special ability...I didn't know about this "secret" until a few hours ago, after stumbling on Oprah's website (accidentally...)

I have actually gained some material items by sheer will...examples:
  • Got into a university = education that I can afford, without burdening my parents
  • Won some stuff that I really really REALLY wanted - Sony mp3 Walkman, tickets to a concert, perfume for my mother...hope there's more to come!
  • Really wanted a laptop...and got one (I'm not rich, so getting one for free...nice!)
  • Really wanted something that would increase happiness within my family - my baby sister! C'mon, you gotta admit...a gap of 17-years between children is somewhat amazing!
  • Things that seems sucky always make way for better things...it does!

Well, that being said...I should try to be more optimistic...and perhaps build on something bigger:

  • I always wanted to do something significant in this world...something good, as a way to show gratitude for all the good things that come
  • I also really want that feeling you get when you're in love...you know, the whole butterflies in your stomach thing...
  • I want to travel...I couldn't say this enough! Please let this happen...I want to be a worldly person and experience different cultures
  • I want to learn to swim...at least before I leave this world...being afraid of drowning prohibits this...a pity!
  • I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO STUDY WITHOUT FAILING. Case in point: the fact that i'm updating my blog, and not reading my notes is proof enough, isn't it!

This is how distraction manifests...

Any comments? Do tell...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

WTF? Christmas Is Coming Already?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It's now the 12th of November...


Just yesterday, I was registering for my 3rd semester...2nd year of uni. AND NOW? It is almost coming to an end. Christmas is upon us too...

What? Christmas?

I'm like 'Wtf?' over here...listening to Dave Koz & Friends : The Christmas Album or something like that. Hahaha, as much as i'd like to NOT admit it, listening to Christmas songs get me in the holiday mood...just puts me in a better mode. Makes me a tad more optimistic, gives me some hope for better days...

Oh, man...looking back, i find that my year hasn't really been a good one. Okay, so family-wise, it's great! But personally, my year was (and still is) boring. All I did was study, stay home...once in a while, I go out for a movie with friends. How pathetic is that?

I'm 21...and i'm freakin' boring! HAHAHAHA...that's rich! I have all this thoughts, plans, dreams...and I do it in the confines of the four walls that surround me (house, college dorm, class, etc).

I guess i'm waiting for the time when I get the chance to travel the world. Experience true freedom...or at least some of it! Why do I feel trapped all of a sudden? Maybe because I am? Between responsibilities at home, and at school...what have I got? Nil...

As I attempt to study for a test later in the day...I suddenly dream of taking ballroom dancing lessons...I would love to learn to salsa..woohoo! Then maybe i'll achieve 0% fat...lol! That'll be great...

Is what i'm writing even making any sense? From xmas, i went to boredom, then to my procrastination...and now, dancing? I think my head is overloaded with useless junk. The stuff I need to read-up on ain't goin' in...Shit, what am I gonna do?

Years of multi-tasking have done damage to my head, I tell ya! Damage!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

The Pain & Other Distractions

Sunday, November 09, 2008

I'm gonna start whining again (like as if I do anything else!)...

I have an impacted wisdom tooth...OMG, the pain is too annoying! Two wisdom teeth erupted from my gums around a month or two months back. That wasn't a problem. I even took preventive measures to hinder any gum infection. Flossed, brushed more than twice a day, used Listerine...I am a freak when it comes to cleaning my teeth actually, sometimes it's scary how I fuss over them.

My wisdom tooth on my top jaw is fine (don't wanna jinx it though!)...grew without a prob. The bottom one, however...OMG. It grew, alright. The problem is, it didn't cut through the whole way. Only 3/4 of the tooth seemed to be 'out'...the rest is still under a gum flap.

The gum flap is a problem...it serves as a source of pain, and though it hasn't been infected by any infection (???) as of yet...I can't be sure it could last long. The pain is probably coz the upper tooth hits the gum flap when I chew...and now, it has a partner in crime...my jaw! Damn jaw is painful...probably because I keep opening my mouth to check on that fuckin' tooth all the way back.

Now I can't open it anymore...well, not exactly...I still can open it big enough to eat. Need a dentist asap! Will probably go in the morning, but man...it's kinda scary considering I have exams the next morning! SHIT!!!

I have an assignment which isn't done yet...i'm scared! Hope that I finish it soon, as the due date is on the 19th. Sometimes home acts as an ENABLER to my addictions...TV & WiFi! And of course, the never-ending distractions--baby, food, chores, TV & WiFi! Just when I think I could study and/or finish an assignment...Damn!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Inspired by Humility - Obama!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I would like to congratulate the US of A on Obama's win. OMG, he won with such grace, that I somehow felt so thrilled for the Americans...


To see how he played down the fact that;
  • The first African-American man (well...half) has become the Commander in Chief AND
  • The fact that the Democrats now hold more seats in the Congress

...has made me respect him even more. It's formidable that a poll by CNN showed that it wasn't about race. It shows that the color of your skin surpasses everything. It's amazing, considering the history of the African-Americans; slavery, discrimination, no voting rights, the KKK...think about what Dr. Martin Luther King would say if he was alive! This is a full circle right here!

His speech also was a reminder that this win is NOT the victory they are talking about...this, as Obama said, was JUST a stepping stone to a bigger purpose. I think, he comes from a background that makes him understand the hardships of the average American family. He keeps talking about 'the people', which is good. He talks about working together with the people, even extending a hand to the GOP and its supporters...praising his adversary, McCain...

Grace, baby...grace is what he has!

I spotted a crying Rev. Jesse Jackson and Oprah in the crowd. Don't know what it is, but Obama's speeches tend to strike a chord with the people...heck, even I felt chills hearing it.

Although i'm nowhere near the US, i am still happy for the American people, and wish her luck for the change that Obama promises...i await for the betterment of your healthcare, your school system, your spreading of the wealth...your image in the global arena. I hope that he WILL get the job done, and not just be another disappointment.

US affects the world...whether we like it or not, many countries are interdependent...and USA is the center of these interlocking states.

I'm guessing everyone felt a bit like an American today! Why would we feel so happy then? Maybe it's because it inspires us...makes me wonder how long will my own country be this way...i'm just saying:

We have a long way to go before we get to where America is. Maybe we wouldn't even get there. We are too self-involved to be selfless, to corrupt than generous...to preoccupied with preserving the status quo than to be going forward. This, my friends will remain the shackles that will forever hold us on a cyclical position...a never-ending cycle of insecurities, prejudices and containment of the minds...we have many, many, many years to go!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Why Am I Wasting Time Updating this Blog? Coz I'm A Dreamer!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Why; the ultimate question for the ultimate time of tension...

I don't know, actually...guess i'm taking a break from all the shit!!!

I somehow need to step away from reality for now...by doing something non-academic. There's even things going on at home. My whole family are just too busy nowadays...know the last time I went out with friends? A few months back. How pathetic is that? Well, enough of all the shitty self-pity. Let me blog about fun things!

Well, here...the following list are stuff i wanna do in the future. Believe me when i say it'll deffo be updating it as time goes by. Here goes:
  • I want to travel to France - have the ultimate cup of coffee in a small bistro in Paris, looking at the Eiffel Tower, eat great French cuisine in a posh French restaurant

  • I want to go through the the ultimate love story - with a happy ending

  • I want to enjoy a picnic in Central Park

  • I want to celebrate New Year's Eve in Times Square, NYC

  • I want to go to Tuscany and stay in a beautiful Italian villa and enjoy a view of a luscious vineyard with wonderful wine and pasta made by the locals

  • I want to visit Amsterdam and go cycling, and try some legal green herbs...lol!

  • I want to drive through the Vegas desert in a red convertible...and put my head in the air and feel the breeze

  • I want to be rich and personally go to the African region and open up schools for boys and girls, with 50:50 ratio...i would recommend that boys take lessons on Respect for Women. The girls; studies in feminism

  • I want to find my life's purpose

  • I want to take up classical piano...and finish it this time!