Life's Sick Lil' Games...

I dig them guys I can't have...love these rocker dudes! Hotness+talent=ledzeppelin4evr's crush...

These rockers...I like!

• Brandon Boyd (Incubus)
• Jeff Russo (Tonic)
• Chris Cornell (Audioslave)
• Trent Reznor (NIN)
• Jakob Dylan (The Wallflowers)
• Gavin Rossdale (Bush)

[UPDATED: How could I forget dear Gavin, hot hubby of Gwen Stefani???]

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Finally found the album i've been looking for; Lemon Parade by Tonic. Been looking for it for over two years...yeah, fucking Malaysian record stores rarely have this album. So, guess what I did? I downloaded it from Multiply...it seemed like the only way, y'all...I needed it desperately!

I absolutely love Tonic's Lemon Parade...LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!! Now, I swear, if I don't find their 'Sugar' album in stores, i'm gonna do the same thing, and download it online again!

I LOVE JEFF RUSSO of Tonic...he's hot, and talented! Okay, Emerson and Dan are hot too, but I am drawn to Jeff...Sigh!

It's the men I can't have that I'm ultimately drawn to...that is so...retarded!

I'm gonna enjoy the album now. See y'all in the next few hours, coz i'm sure i'll have lots to talk about!

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Yeah, what's up with Malaysians nowadays? Total selfishness and stupidity...everywhere!

It has been twice since someone's cut me off-queue, damnit! The first time, this 40-ish guy came off his old motorcycle and cut me off while I was lining to buy me brekkie...Nasi Lemak w/ Kerang (Mmmmm....)! Huh, what the hell did I do? I called out my freakin' order out loud before the lady could pick up his order. Luckily, this lady acknowledged that I was there first, and proceeded to give me mine...Hah!

Today- the 2nd time; this old-ish hag (call her Lady Hag) cut a lady (let's call her Lady B) in front of me, and Lady B did not have the guts to say a word.

OMG, I seriously almost screamed out "Hey fuckster, don't you know how to queue up?"...BUT, she would probably die of a heart-attack, seeing that she's about 50 something or so...so I didn't...Lady B should have, though! If anyone ever cut me off like that, I would have a fit! Too bad the nasi lemak lady didn't see Lady Hag cutting queue.

Just wanna say, don't be a fucker and go jumping into people's queue...have some decency, courtesy and respect for your fellow humans...we ain't animals, y'all...

And If I ever catch you doing that, I'm gon' do some ass-whoopin'...BIG TIME!

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...that I have no work to do today. Isn't that nice?

Well, it is, if you are the idle-lovin' type of person, but I AM CERTAINLY NOT ONE! Oh, man...with my free time, I just check out blogs, go joining clubs for bitches (don't believe me? Look at the nice pic below...), IM my friends, watch YouTube, read the papers online, basically, my whole day revolves around the computer...

I just finish up my work a little too soon, I guess...I do work fast, and that's a good thing!

So, what am I gonna blab about now? Let's see...

Okay, i've been contemplating on going to Taylor's College or Monash University...Communications will be at Taylor's, and International Relations at Monash...

So, am I to join the foreign service, join the mass-comm industry where every man, woman, and those in-between are joining?

Seems tough, seeing that I like both! Mom and dad will support me in anything I do, so that's a good thing. However, regarding the finances, I will have to invest in my future with my OWN money...trust me, this is the ONLY time I wish my parents were rich!

Choices to make, in such little time...God, help me!

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Any music I was looking for, I found it here! I love it so so much...the ones that seem impossible to find, without downloading any malware/spyware/adware interference...I found it all!!!

Yay!!!

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Wow, nowadays, my posts seem short...have I lost my gift of blabbing? What do I blog about today?

Oh yeah, last weekend; I watched Just Like Heaven on HBO...guess what my sister tells me?

She said that I would become like Reese Witherspoon's character...workaholic, and alone!

WTF? You mean to say I have to be half-dead to get a decent guy?

Bummer...

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I must say, most of the songs released on Eli's MySpace are great...he is now revamped...new teeth, long hair and all...and might I say, he looks like JESUS. Kinda miss the old Elliott...

Holy Jebus, Batman!!!

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I thought I was no fan of the guys in American Idol this year...coz I know for sure, Melinda needs to be given the title, hands down!

BUT...

This week, I fell in love with Blake! He sang one of the sexiest songs ever made, and it made me love him...it was a song by The Zombies, called 'Time of the Season'. As usual, he did his beatboxing thing, but I wasn't disappointed...he didn't spoil the song...not at all!!! I always loved that song...appropriate for seduction, hehehe!

Mind you, I think he's a great performer (you should've seen his moves...), but not an awesome singer...but, i'm swooning, baby! Btw, Ryan was totally checking Blake out! Hahahaha!!!

Oh shit, just when I thought I wouldn't fall for any guys on this season of Idol...I go ahead and fall!

It happened with Bo, Chris...and now I present...

BLAKE LEWIS! (Sigh...)

Who's your daddy...Blake's my daddy!!! Wooot!!!

PS: Why the hell is Sanjaya still here?

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Yo, I received the notification on V Day, via e-mail...then I received another asking for my address, so they can send a letter...but I did not get it yet...when will they send it? When? When? When?

I know the company is legit...the whole contest was to promote Sony MP3 Walkman in Asia Pacific...you know, the whole thing about being a Soundaholic? BUT...where is my Sony NW-S705F MP3 Walkman?

When I won another contest last year, I waited for the prize for 6 months...6 months! My weakness is impatience, people...don't test it, please!!!

I summon thee, MP3 walkman, I summon thee...

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Okay, I did no such thing; chasing cars...I just like it as a title!

Mom's car is still at the mechanic's, so dad dropped me at my office...yesterday's trip on the train was...tiring! I did not expect to be walking so far with the heels I was wearing...Gosh!!! I reached home with sores on my feet...

Anyways, in the commute, there's no such thing as decent people. Alright, I may be talking shit because of a few bad apples, but I just can't keep my mouth shut...why do people have to stare? The one thing I despise is staring...guys, girls, it doesn't make a difference. Staring is NOT polite! I seem to get stared at by a confused-looking bunch of people...

Then they start to get annoying and ask my race...I wish I could say, "None of your fucking business!" but I am a polite person, and I just have fun and say the first thing that pops into my head...I pretend to be Mexican and say, "Lo siento, yo no hablar Englais!", or a Sabahan, or a Filipino, or a Spaniard, or a Malay, Indian...whatever! Just as long as they get out of my freakin' face!

Well, while commuting, I got the 'ol stare-a-thon from this old guy; looked like he was staring at my chest! Oh my God, could the guy not be creepier? Yucks!!! WTF, dude! Go to a fuckin' place called Chow Kit, you mo' fo'!!! Plus, he was the ultimate stereotype...I don't wanna repeat myself...you get the gist!

I did not happen to bump into any cute guys, however...where are all the hot guys??? Just stood next to one guy that had extremely bad B.O.! Where's the eye candy? I need some eye candy, people!!!

Well, I did jinx my whole week...I hoped it would not be a bitch, and it did! I need to use reverse psychology the next time!

'Til the next post, i'm gonna go chase some cars...

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My mom just called me. The time? 9.30am.

She tells me...after dropping me off at my office, her car got hit by a BMW! Wtf??? What else could I, a daughter of a preggie mother do, but panic...

"Oh my God, mom! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, i'm okay...the guy who hit my car was gracious enough to apologize, and promised to pay for the whole mess."

Well, of course he should, right? He hit her car...from the back...it's his fault, so he should pay...he drives a BMW anyway, so what's a little bill for fixing a little car for him, eh? My poor mom. Thank God nothing happened to her. Thank God!!!

And thank you, God for letting a polite, civilized, gentleman hit her car, not one of those meanies who beat up pregnant women with a wrench...

What is it with Malaysian drivers? Just yesterday my sister and her fellow team of debaters were in an accident on the road...they were on their way back from a debating competition (i'm so proud of her, by the way!). You know what happened? A fuckin' truck was speeding, and hit their car from the back! Guess who got scolding? Their poor teacher, aka the driver got it from that fuckin' trucker! Shame on that trucker for hiding his guilt by sounding-off to an innocent teacher...with her students watching, nonetheless!!! Trying to cover his mistake by aggression...what a wimpy chicken-shit!

He hit them coz he was fuckin' speeding, and yet he had the gall to be scolding the victim? As my Malay friends would say, "Masya-Allah!" (sorry if the spelling's wrong...)

Too much cars on the road, I must say, especially now that everyone can own one, no matter how minimum your wage is...heck, even I can own a car!

I heard the Gov is charging a levy for one-passenger cars...I think that's great, much to dad's disapproval. This would be the only way the cars on the road would lessen.

All in all, i'm happy nobody is hurt! Oh, geez...i'm gonna have to take the train! Oh, man...

Toodlez...

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Just a short post...I dreamt that Ryan Seacrest was the Devil!

I also dreamt that my sister was gonna elope with her no-good boyfriend...At 18, damnit!!! I was begging her not to, but she wanted to, and nobody was gonna stop her, she said! Yikes!!!

---End of weird dream post---

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I wish I had a mute button for certain people. Some people can't just seem to shut the fuck up! Why is it, when you don't ask for their opinion, they just go on and on, and give it to you anyway? Man, that is soooo annoying!!!

Another thing is, what the hell is wrong with me being single? Why do people seem to think i'm miserable just because i'm single? Sometimes, I don't know what to think and what to do anymore...the thing is, i'm happy!!! So, why must I look for "Mr. Right" at the mere age of almost-20? I somehow think I would stumble upon a great guy, serendipitously...somewhere out there. Besides, my ideals on future relationships are much too idealistic.

I'm NOT an old woman, so please...can't you let me enjoy my youth? Being single and carefree is fun!!! I'm only 20 years old, damnit!!!

Wait, wait...one more thing! This is to men who can't take no for an answer; just because a girl ain't into you, doesn't mean she's not into guys, you egotistical twat! Maybe it's because you are a jerk, an asshole, a male-chauvinist pig, etc...so get the message, will you?

You know what? I might as well tell everyone i'm joining a convent to become a nun...or that i'm a lesbian...yeah, that would be so much easier and would probably shut them up!!! Or maybe that would invite more "opinions"? Oh, boy...here we go again!

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Over the weekend, I went over to my aunt's apartment, she's renting out a room to a boy, around my age, maybe a little older...my cousin rents out another room.

This guy seems pretty decent, shy and ...awww, you know, the boy next door...okay, that's all I can say.

You know what's the problem? My mom has started to ask my cousin to hook me up with this guy...My MOM!!! Now my cousin and aunt are in on it...everytime the boy is there, they let out hints that I am single...and the fact that he's single too is pretty weird. WTF, man? Okay, if you guys wanna joke with me, hey, i'm fine with that...in fact, i'm the master of being the court jester...but c'mon, not in front of the guy.

Now, I find it awkward even going to the place...this all started when my aunt's grandaughter said, "Hey, that boy is cute...why don't you make him your boyfriend?" in front of him...Yikes...I then laugh with a hint of embarassment.

Why is it, that I can't be single and happy without people butting-in? My mom should be proud that i'm not dependent on anyone...that's what gets to me. Note to self: more on this on my next post...

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Firstly, I would like to start by saying, the weekend sucked! Supposedly, I was going to volunteer at SPCA, but one thing; the stars of the event were not the animals, instead it was...a VJ? Another thing; I got stood up by my good-for-nothing sister, who ditched me for a date with her good-for-nothing boyfriend! Anyway, my friend told me there were many, many volunteers! That's a good thing, right? I really wanted to go...but damn, that place is so far away, and I can't travel THAT far...as much as I love dogs, and wanna help, this is too much hassle, yo!

The second thing is, mom came back from the O.B.'s appointment with dad...looks like there's a few problems with the pregnancy. This is what I can't fathom...she could be in danger! Not to mention the baby! She started crying at home...my dad couldn't stay longer, as he had to work...so, he asked me and my sis to comfort her. What do you tell an expecting mother who just got some bad news? It's something about the placenta in the wrong location. If it doesn't move in the next 2-weeks, she's gonna be admitted, one month early! God, please let everything be okay! Please...

Another rant i've got to release...why is it always the idiot Malay-sians who seem to do stuff they can't handle? I'm proud to say that i've done a good job writing not one, but two articles for my former-school magazine. I was the one who edited my article, coz trust me, not even the teacher-in-charge, nor the editor-in-chief understood what I wrote about. They've asked me, "what is 'Gucci'...or 'dictates'...or 'vegetative'?"

WTF? And I sort of knew that this school had hired some incompetent idiots to publish the mag...so what? Not that 99% would understand what the hell I was writing, seeing the average student couldn't even read an Aesop fable without an English-BM dictionary, right? Okay, I'm being condescending here, but I can't help it! I wrote a pretty good article, which I am proud of...sarcastic, witty (ego-bitch tells it again!), yada, yada, yada...but what exactly is the fuckin' problem?

Clerical errors! Wouldn't YOU hate that? Readers wouldn't think of blaming the publishers, they will blame the writer for this sort of shit! In this kinda shizz, I really want my stuff to be perfect...is that so wrong?

The letters "L" were replaced by exclamation points (!), "I" with the number "9", and so much more, that even I, the writer, couldn't decipher my own article...for fuck's sake, people, be a little more competent, will you? Luckily, my other article, was typed ALMOST perfectly (which means, about 20% typing errors!)

It's stuff like this that makes me a control freak! The very article that I was proud of has become one of my worse shame...Damn, I even won an elocution contest for it! Now, on to my venting...

"*(&^%$#$%^&***%%%^;^' @$$#*&$% @#$% &^*%^&$%%%^##"

Too much of you couldn't handle what I just said...so, I now camouflage the 'fucks and other stuff' with nice, frilly motifs! Enjoy!

Toodles...may the week not turn out to be a bitch!

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Alright, I admit, yesterday was a pretty emotional day...hence, the emotional post! Sometimes, you can't help how you feel, you know?

I guess having a whole day pass you by does indeed give you perspective. So be it, if I don't get into a public uni...so be it. I can easily get into a college. Money? I can easily get a loan. Repayment? Why bother with all that now! Just don't get a credit card, my mom says...

Getting a job would be posibble, I guess. Being a driven, hardworker, with charm (I'm such an egotistical bitch!), wit, and talent (ego-bitch!), there is nothing more to worry about.

**Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts**

**Be positive...be positive**

So, the words above is sort of an exercise for me...accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. Until the next post...later today...TGIF!

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Where should I start? Well, I was hoping to score at least...AT LEAST 3.50 cgpa for my STPM, but noooo, what did I get? A fuckin' 3.00!!! Shit, just when I thought God would help me, this happens...Oh shit, dude!

In a state of panic, I receive my notification via sms...in a state of denial, I started crying! Just a few minutes ago, my dad told me to go get that straight As...my mom told me as long as I did the best that I could, there would be no worries.

After this, I ran to my parents, with tears in my eyes...which is not, I repeat NOT me! I NEVER cry! Well, this time, I did...I just didn't want to disappoint them! This was supposed to get me at least a scholarship...but now, I guess I have to get into a private college. Damn, the money I'm gonna need...my parents can't afford that! Especially with a baby on the way...well, at least I don't have to pay for pre-U courses!

My mom and dad are the best parents any girl could ever have. They told me it's not the end of the world...They, my parents support me! I thought the grades I would obtain could be their reward...after all the sacrifices made for me and my sister. I love them so much!

My teacher told me, maybe it is a blessing in disguise? I thought I would get into a public uni, get into the foreign service and become a diplomat...maybe this is God's way of telling me it's better to go for communications/journalism?

I've always loved writing, and I love it more than political science and international & strategic studies, honestly...but the reasons I want to work in the Gov sector is because, in the Foreign Service (Wisma Putra), I get to continue my studies, up to a PhD, free of charge...plus, I always wanted to be the first Malaysian woman ambassador to the UN, travel the world, meet foreign dignitaries, or even become one myself! Big dreams, I must say!

If I were to get into communications, there would be big opportunities in the corporate sector--magazines, media, PR, etc...but would I be writing the things I like? Of course not!

Now, I am truly at a crossroads...confused! Just when I thought there would be one straight road! Now; here lies a detour!

God, help me! Only time will tell what will happen, what road I would eventually choose!

If I get into a uni-college, I might as well invest on it, right? 64k is a lot of money! But one thing's for sure...I will NOT ask my parents for a dime...This, I must strive on my own! This is my battle...So, God, if you're out there...please guide me towards the right choice! The road taken, should be the one where i'm the happiest!

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The fact that I am utterly bitter and cynical has got me to ask this question, "Am I a shrew?" I made a mistake by making myself seem that I was performing a soliloquy...coz my mom who happened to pass by said, "Oh...do you even have to ask?"

This, I must admit, is a bitter pill to swallow! Ever read "The Taming Of The Shrew"? I'm the shrew! I'm the shrew!

What can I do? I'm nice most of the time, but if one thing gets on my nerves, the fun girl turns into "the Hulk"...my whole day turns dark! Maybe I've bipolar disorder...who knows?

Perhaps some Xanax would help...

One thing for sure, a few minutes listening to my favorite songs, I turn back to the normal, fun-loving girl that you once knew...

Gee, music does tame the wild beast! Perhaps I should find me a musician boyfriend, Lol! Ok, ok, just because my dad is (or was) a musician, don't get all Freudian with me!

That's it! I'm joining the Heartless Bitch Club!

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This post is a different side of me, I must say!

Know what i'm talkin' about? Well, i'm talking about having a conversation with God...do you think he talks back when you pray? I kinda think so...

Around two years ago, I found this book called Conversations with God by Neal Donald Walsch. Read it with much curiosity, and I must say, though new ideas by Neal's talk with God seems to be different than what i've learnt in Catholicism, I kind of understand his connection with God. I think it's okay to have questions, once in a while, you know? Everyone has questions...especially in things much bigger than ourselves...

Okay, for a cynic, I must say, I believe there is a God. I believe that HE is always within us to help us and give guidance...but, only if we ask. I always ask HIM to give me answers, but I realized, I never LISTENED! That is one of the things we all do...we hear, but don't listen!

Now, I know each person have their own idea of God, and I believe that HE is okay with that...just as long as you are a truthful person, do good unto others, you're home free. That is why, I can't stand it when some people force their own religion unto you! It can be quite annoying. God is received by a person in their own time! He does not force a person to believe, and that's what I think...

I also think that God loves ALL his children, no matter how different you are...I just don't get some people who judge others like they are all that, and a bag of chips! So, if you are different--don't force yourselves to be otherwise just because some people can't accept you. As long as you are a good human being, HE will not make you go into a pit of fire!

That's the God I believe in...so, don't judge me, coz you ain't perfect!

I've tried to hear God speak...this time, maybe i'll listen!

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Well, this post is long overdue...but, nevertheless, I feel just as strongly about this as before...In this country of mine, there are people who are blatant misogynists! This, therefore makes me sick to my stomach...

Can you believe after all the years of feminist movement and activism, this country still lags behind other countries in terms of women's rights? Well, how do you suppose that is NOT gonna happen, when supposed politicians who make up our government have minds as old as time, and brains as small as a pea...there, I said it!

Mind you, I am certainly not talking about all of them, just a few bad apples. How do I not get mad when some go public with their stupid views...that women get raped because of what they wear? Wtf? Are you for real? Seriously? Oh, I guess women who wear the burqa are safe then, huh? Well, then how do you explain the raping of women in what you call "modest" gear? They cover themselves from head to toe with your supposed "aurat"-covering clothes, and still get raped! Try wearing a low cut top, and you'll see that many Malay-sian men say "no cleavage-bearing tops! It is haram!" by staring down your chest, no matter how fat and ugly you are!

Lemme give you a tip...wanna wear these kinds of clothes? Wear 'em in places like KLCC, Mid Valley, and places where there are lots of foreigners...coz, for them, it's no biggie! But try going to places like Mydin (where you'll NEVER see me!), kampungs, etc...you're inviting danger...coz it's "mencolok mata", "haram", and "berdosa" to show your "aurat"! And, an invitation to rape and molestation.

How about children? Are they seducers to rapists?

What kind of sick person rapes? Oh, I know, the very people who commit incest with their grandmothers, nieces, nephews, sons and daughters...

Why do you suppose that the very people who do this are the very people who calls it "haram", "berdosa", and does a lot of preaching, forbidding, etc?

So far in my observation, these people are the very ones who ride around in their motorcycles, acting all holier-than-thou...and then, showing girls their super-teeny 'pea-cocks'!

So, forgive me for giving my two-cents' worth in this matter. After hearing tales of molestations, which surprisingly, are done by the you-know-whos...turns out that there are many victims! Wow, I guess, we who wear cleavage-bearing school uniforms, sexy huge T-shirts, tight sweaters are "just too sexy" for y'all to handle? So, what explanation do I hear now, Mr. Minister-of-whatever?

Oh, and another news of stupidity among politicians...Lo and behold...to curb men's sexual attacks, we women should wear...the chastity belt! Oh, here we go...this is as far as the bad apples go...to the 16th century!

So, does that mean we could wear sexy clothes now? Now that we have chastity belts on?

Forgive the sarcasm in this post...perhaps if I were less cynical...Nahhh, that'll never happen!

Sarcasm=Me!

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As I traveled my dreams,
I saw a little boy,
Crying near the brook,
There he sits, his body trembling.

I ask his name,
He answers, "Ben...", "Will you help me find my home?"
I take him,
Carrying him on my back, this 6-year old is light as a feather...

I climb a hill,
With Ben on my back,
Again he cries,
"I don't know where my home is"

I say don't worry,
He'll stay with me,
He'll be my family,
We'll find a house with everything we want.

He says, "No",
I ask why,
"I am every boy you knew and know..."
"You say you'll love me, but you won't".

My eyes start to blur...the little boy becomes
The very thing I try to get away from,
He is right, what have I done, what am I doing?
Only time will tell...

Now I realized how I was and am,
Trying to change now...I'm in a lucid mind,
In a make-believe reality,
I decide.

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There, I admit it...i've absolutely no life. Dullness is my middle name...So on to my 2nd post for today...

Today, my bosses came in like 3-4 hours...then, they said that they're going for a stupid meeting with Astro...now i'm alone in the office. What do you suppose I could do here, you say? Well, I took the liberty of blasting my audio downloads on this freakin' slow PC! Man, can't these people fix this shitty thing? Damn...

Uhh, the song playing now---Last Request by Paolo Nutini. I must say, being a rock fan, i'm slowly getting drawn into bluesy stuff...was looking for Tracy Chapman's Give Me One Reason, and I found a different version by Earl Thomas & Heineh Andersen...and, I must say, it wasn't that bad at all! I instantly remembered my childhood years, when mom used to take me to dad's gigs in pubs/bars, and he did some blues with his band...and my eyes would get so watery because of all the smoke from the pub/bar patrons...

Ok, I will admit, it wasn't a great place to take a 5 year old, but these are the stuff I recall when I think of dad's gigs...and you know the sweetest thing? He would tell the whole crowd that the beautiful ladies sitting at the tables were his beautiful wife and two of his daughters, and would proceed to sing a song dedicated to mom...forgot the song, though! Supposedly, it was the song my mom heard him sing that made her fall in love with him. Yup, their love is what I call 1 in a million...

The song playing now---Fidelity by Regina Spektor...Likin' the chorus...it goes, "It breaks my heart, breaks my he-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-art"...Lol! My mood now is pretty normal, but bored to tears...wish I could teleport myself to Brazil to party and Mardi Gras 'til i'm dizzy...Sigh, wishful thinking!

The song now---If You Could Only See by Tonic (love Tonic! The band, not the booze...), and i'm outta here! Woohoo, TGIF!!!

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Ever seen people that are so plastic, that you see right through them? Oh gawd, sometimes I wonder how anyone could not just punch 'em right in the face.

Used to have a friend like that. In your face, she's all smiling, complimenting, kissing you on both cheeks (face cheeks...what were you thinking?), then, as you turn your back, she's bad-mouthing you...

Wow, one thing to talk about that person, but to talk about a person's family? Whoa...what a jerk-off! Luckily, I slowly drifted myself away, coz you never know what she might be talking about me! I realized this after she started bitching about our best friend...Hmmm, I guess some girls are real bad! Things have never been better since then....

No more lying on her behalf, protecting her from being busted by her parents, answering their phone-calls, only to lie!!! I totally hated that...they (the parents) were so nice to me! Now, I see her once in a while...I just say hi and bye!

Well, I know i'm kinda contradicting myself by writing about her...BUT this is like a journal...I release my thoughts right here...kinda like therapy. Plus, only a couple of people who read this know me...Wait, why am I explaining myself again? My conscience is clear, damnit!

Currently, I have best friends who are totally real...not plasticky(Is that a word???), caring, supportive, and all that jazz...love 'em to death! I know we never hangout as often as we should, but we still keep in touch...I thank God that where there are nasties, there are nice, genuinely sincere people. If there wasn't, life would totally be a bitch-fest.

Where there are nasties, there is karma...and karma is so good! I've seen it work, and man does it give you revelations...Ooooh, let's talk about karma in my next post! Lots of karma-inspired anecdotes to talk about!

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Ok, Devo's song was the title...just couldn't think of any appropriate title for this post...basically, i'm just gonna ramble on today's agenda...so, here goes!

Mom's having the baby in the middle of May. Can't believe i'm gonna be a sister all over again...aged 20! Man, when this stunner (I suppose she would be...don't the younger ones ALWAYS look better?) turns 20, i'll be 40! OMG, that would be so fuckin' weird. People would probably think i'm her mother. Damn, mom and dad! Can't y'all have had this baby around 12-15 years ago? Gosh! (In Napoleon Dynamite mode...)

Now, on to other things...STPM results will be announced in the middle of the month. Oh God, please grant me a 4.00 cgpa...i'm so freakin' scared, thinking about the day I hold THAT result slip makes me wanna pee in my pants!

However, i'm looking forward to uni/college...can't wait to experience one of the most memorable years of my life! Hey, maybe i'll find Mr. Right then! Hahahaha, nawww, I doubt it!

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So, the other day, my mom and I went looking around for my dad's gift...we thought of buying him a nice watch, as his old one is all worn-out...plus, he once told me he liked a round watch, instead of the square one he had.

With that in mind, mom and I hunted for the perfect watch, and found it! He loved it, and we're happy about that! Gosh, sometimes my dad could be such a softie...and that keeps me in a good mood!

Other than that, I catched a teaser of Spiderman 3, coming out in May, and boy oh boy, was it great! Just thinking about all the drama, action makes me all excited about it! I can't hardly wait, yo! Woot...

Hmmm, what else? Well, just paid around 50%-60% of my minimum wage to my list of IOUs...Yup, the driving lessons, dad's gift, and now I can't buy a thing for myself...Oh snap!

Guess what? Kanye West is coming here for a concert...that's awesome! I wanna go, and so does my sister...so, who's gonna pay for those damn tickets, you ask? Well, this blog wouldn't be called "Life's Sick Lil' Games" if it wasn't yours truly, now would it?

So there goes my money from my blood, sweat and tears...there goes the laptop I was saving for, there goes the pairs of shoes I was hoping to buy, there goes the clothes, the make-up, necessities, etc...

Well, I'm happy to say, at least i got something. I found out I won a Sony mp3 walkman in the Sony Soundaholic Contest...at least that's something, right? I almost called my aunt in the US to buy me an iPod Nano...which i were to pay for...it's much much cheaper over there than it is here! But then, when I was thinking of my lack of money, this happened! So, now i'm just a little bit happier! If ever I feel lonely, confused, angry, or anything else negative, I can always tune in to my audio downloads...music always keeps me cool and calm.

Ok, maybe i'll blog later again, since i've nothing better to do! Toodlez!

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Yesterday, I went to church with my family. Later on, my sister went for her catechism class, and told my parents during the last minute, that there was a meeting for parents for the Confirmation candidates...you see, I'm Catholic (I guess a VERY liberal one!), and my family is big on all these sort of things. I had my Confirmation years ago. So, since it was "parents only", I was chased out of the meeting room...LOL!

Out of sheer embarassment, I went into the church, sat on the pew, and contemplated...

After my family, I have friends...but, other than them, I have a very solitary life! I am reaching 20 this year, and I can't believe I haven't been in a relationship, I haven't gone on weekend trips with my friends, haven't been into a club/pub/disco/whatever...I haven't been kissed, haven't traveled outside of my country, haven't done many things a teenager should! Not even been to a concert!

After thinking of all this, I started to get blurry-eyed...What a waste of my youth, just being at school...not that I haven't done fun stuff, it's just that I haven't done any MAJOR stuff that would make me remember my teenage years when I'm like, 40 years old...and I want to, very much!

I became very moody since thinking about this. Very bitter and grumpy...had arguments with my dad. Guess I kinda resent him for keeping me in a cage. Why can't I seem to rebel against him? Well, it's Monday, the 5th of March, and it's his 46th birthday today...So, I guess I better call him and wish him now!

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What a day today has turned out to be...nothing to do...for real, man! I feel like taking a nice long nap while i'm here having a useless day, but my boss is always around...haha! I really don't deserve to get paid for sitting down, and surfing the net the whole day, I tell ya...but i ain't telling my boss!

Other than that, I hope every day that some cute guy would just walk into the office...but that hasn't happened yet, LOL! Well, a girl can dream, can she? It's not like i'm gonna do anything...I'm the type of person that crushes from afar, and doesn't do a thing about it coz she's too damn chicken and afraid of possibilities. Yup, that's me! ("Ya yeller-bellied wuss!") I'd just admire beauty from afar...It's kinda fun that way...really!!! (Poor gal is in denial!)

When you see someone hot/cute, you kinda get this sudden rush of a 'feel-good' feeling...I think it's some sort of brain chemical release...Yeah, that's it! Hahaha, I love that feeling! Let me give you an example:

This one time, I was having a hell of a bad day at school...so at the end of school, basically nothing much happens...we all go home.

On this particular day, I accompanied a friend to buy some meds for her mom. So, we stopped by a pharmacy...and boy, was the pharmacist hella cute! Then, me and my friend exchanged knowing glances, and proceeded to giggle like little starstruck Hello Kitty-kawaii-obnoxious schoolgirls once we exited the pharmacy! A cute pharmacist...what are the chances? That totally made my day...

So that's how I feel when I pass by or meet cute guys...they are like eye candy to me...I'll say it again: HOT GUYS = EYE CANDY!!!

P.S.: If you think you're ugly, and are disgusted (jealous) by what this post conveys, don't hate me...I don't discriminate! Hate the brain chemicals!!!

So, there goes my Friday ramblings...yes, nothing significant to say today, just plain ol' boring stuff...TGIF!!!

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"I'm so in love with you, i'll be forever blue...That you give me no reason, why you're makin' me work so hard...that you give me no, that you give me no, that you give me no, that you give me no...SOUL, i hear you calling...oh baby please...give a little respect...tooooo meeeee!" -Erasure

That is one of my favorite songs from the '80s...watched a re-run of Scrubs, you know...when the song kept looping in JD's mind over and over and over again, and was spreading around the hospital like a virus? Hahaha, that was great! I mean really, these types of songs are classic! Original!

The '80s could be summed up as fashion-wrecked, but the songs were superb! Mind you, i was born in the year 1987, but i appreciate these songs much more than say, the songs of the 2000s (is that how you say it?)...I mean what song can you remember from 2005 that could be considered as a classic? I can't...And the teen flicks? LOL...Who couldn't name at least 3 teen movies of the '80s? St. Elmo's Fire, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club...Yup, those were some fun movies!

I guess this is one of my nonsensical ravings...i have them at least five times a month! I know, i'm a weirdo...but hey, there's no one else like me, y'all!!!

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