Monday, November 30, 2009

Still With Tokio Hotel??? OMFG...

Monday, November 30, 2009

I'm STILL listening to them...yeah, you know who! Fuck, what the hell? It's been more than a month, people! Kaulitz boys and the two Gs, what the hell are you doing to me? And i know for a fact they'd never come here since they don't have much of a fan base here...

The closest i'd ever get to seeing them is IF i go to Germany...or France, and that's IF they happen to be in the same place altogether for a gig! Awww, damn!

I SOOOOOOO wanna see you guys perform live! And I will...

So Bill's no longer rockin' the dreads...he has the zebra look now, but hell...any weird-ass hairstyles work on his beautiful face...that bone structure of his is unbelievable...

And here's a freakin' fuckin' funny still-shot i found while watching their live show on, their fans are so protective...i mean, any individual posting a negative remark will get shot, and i'm NOT even kidding...i can't even picture the Kaulitz twins having a gf (or bf *ehem ehem*), as the fans will probably commit suicide, and again...i'm NOT kidding!

And while we're at it...don't they have any guy fans??? Makes you wonder...are the girls just in it for the boys? I can't imagine...coz i love the music they're putting out.

Uhhhh...i'm sick of writing about Tokio Hotel...but it's like a disease i gotta shake off..."Shake the Disease", as Depeche Mode goes...ahhhh, another favorite band of mine, except i don't listen to them for most the day... :-/

...then again, it is MY blog...hahahaha! So; don't like it, don't read it!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Utter Bliss @ 4 In The Morning...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It's little things that create bliss sometimes...

Like cool air and rain at 4 in the morning, while having a grilled cheese+garlic butter drink (i dunno what to make yet!), listening to your fave music...and not having to worry about anything for the rest of the day...

Haaaahhhhhh...bliss! :D

Monday, November 23, 2009

Of Golf Balls In Throat & Singing Like A Fool...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Ever had that pre-flu feeling, where at first your throat feels like it has a golf ball stuck inside...then your head starts throbbing, followed by the inevitable cold and cough?

I'm past the head-throbbing and golf balls...but i AM going to be fine right after that...not even gonna think about what follows except that i'm gonna be just fine!

My baby sis has suffered these past few days...damn, yesterday was horrible coz she was sleepless and her chest and airway was so congested...the poor baby was crying everytime she tried to sleep. She cried so much she threw up. I felt so bad everytime she cried, have no idea! Had to carry her for so long till my hand muscles felt sore...hahaha! My mom woke up and tried to put her to sleep, but it was futile...

She finally slept at 6.30 am...brought her to my dad, coz mom had to go to work...and by that time...MY head was throbbing and my! Let's just say it was shivering...

And of course...woke up at 1 something in the afternoon...Baby woke me! then the other sis had done so many chores...yeah...good for me! Hehehe...props to middle child. Sorry i couldn't help, but i just felt like crap the whole day.

Can't seem to get rid of this headache...i usually NEVER take painkillers coz i hate it...1 pill would usually be enough, but this time, it wasn't. And another one didn't help i'll just leave it be! By tomorrow, i'll be so healthy...Popeye would be jealous! (tricking my mind...sorta Jedi mind-tricking myself!)

Boy, i'm so lame...LOL!

Well, baby had a slight fever just now...but i think the fever is down, and she's gonna be ok. I hope she gets some quality sleep...hope I get some too! Wishing all of us a good night's sleep...and we'll all be so fuckin' awesomely fit as a fiddle by the time we wake up! HAH!

For now, it's time for some Spongebob with my baby sis...we sing the intro like all the time...she's soooo easy to influence *evil laugh* that i teach her stupid songs...unusual, weird songs that just have my name written on it! Muahahahaha!!! So far: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, that Spongebob Pirate Intro, TH's Wo Sind Eure Haende, Vampire by Antsy Pants and many more weird-ass songs...the thing about her is, she's as wacky as me, so i've no problem acting like a fool with her...coz she's a fool like me! :)))))

We shall widen our repertoire soon!

PS: Still listening to songs by TH...OMG, what's wrong with me??? I've never listened to a particular band for this long...seriously! I mean like on a non-stop loop...40-something songs on loop! Hahahah...and guess what? I don't intend to there!

Oh, and here's to good health...

Toodlez, bitches!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

That Much Closer...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

See what I said about the law of attraction? I obsessed about going to France for a long time now...heck, it's one of the reasons i took up the language! And though I felt an inkling of a possibility of going there, i didn't wanna jinx it till it was remotely possible!

And now, i've been informed that a committee is to be formed, and of course...i was over-zealously upfront in claiming a spot! Hope i get in...the lecturer even said that higher-level students are given priority which means...go figure! Level 4, thank you very much!

And I know for a hook or by crook! I WILL be in France next year! I will! I can even feel the atmosphere of the cafes, Arc du Triomphe and Champs-Elysees...Le Tour d'Eiffel...OMG!

I thank you God for the chance...just seeing an opportunity gives me sheer joy coz it leads me to believe that thinking and visualizing manifests into reality. It always does when you have some positivity...the universe always helps you get what you want. So for now let me do a Dorothy and pretend my ruby slippers would send me en France! I know, don't count your eggs before they hatch...but I for one am not gonna taint this dream with a hint of negativity! It's any negativity will be banished!

Je vais aller en France avec mes amis...c'est super et incroyable! Maintenant, 'Le Secret' à Rhonda Byrne c'est vrai pour moi!

Please...the Secret by Rhonda Byrne...i've always vouched for its propensity for it if you can. If you want it...i'll share! Tell me if you do... :)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ahoy There, Matey!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Well, what else can I say...i've said every sort of greeting i know!

Anyway, the week is going ok...pretty cold nowadays. The weather has been crazy-wet and cold...but i'm doing ok! Having a blast with the little one, who's so big already! OMG, how time flies...can't imagine my life without her! Thank God for this gift everyday, seriously! That's why i hate it when certain people say shit about me taking care of my sister, saying it's the parents' job. Like hello!!! I only take care of her when i am able to! And besides, I love it! AND my parents take care of ALL OF US, asswipes! Stop talking about shit you don't know or understand, got it?

Don't you hate it when people 'assume' things when they don't know you? Judge you when they've known you for like five minutes? Heck...i've known some people for a decade or more, and i'm still discovering new things about them! Moral: Don'tsimply judge a book by it's cover...things are not as simple as WYSIWYG, ok?

And to add to that note; people change...everyday! Things never stay the same...change is inevitable! But being the Taurus that i am...i hate change, but hey...Shit happens, and so does 'change'. Gotta accept that, even if it's hard at first. That is why i kinda appreciate that i adapt pretty well to new surroundings...if i didn't, i would certainly die in my campus, believe me!

Hmmm...been preoccupied with my obsession for the songs i've acquired, so forgive me...i can't help but like what i like! I don't remember when i've ever loved songs from the same band except Led Zep, but yeah...hahahah! Now i have know what i'm talking about!!! LMFAO!

Well, enough of the songs...been having a sorta blah know, the whole shock-after-screwing-your-exams kinda thing, coupled with not-wanting-to-grow-up-coz-you're-stuck-in-that-Peter-Pan-Complex mode, and also I-feel-so-ugly-everyday...and who could forget, the very popular what-the-hell-do-i-wanna-do-after-i-graduate dilemma...

Hmmm, pretty typical really...i bet i'm not the only one! I am kinda looking forward to experience working with my old boss and sister for the whole concert of xxxxx in January. It'll provide me with i want to work the PR sector, media, event management, journalism, diplomatic corps? Whatever it is, I only hope God is out there guiding me throughout my journey. I feel so lost sometimes, not knowing where to go. It's always the same issue with and my future. Where do I wanna go? Who do i wanna be? What will make me happy? What do i wanna achieve? These questions...all unanswered. They kill me sometimes.

The fact that i don't know anything BUT "I wanna achieve something great, and be someone of significance to this world in a good someone great and be something my family can truly be proud of." Is this achievable? And if so, how do i do that, and through what medium? Hmmm, sometimes i envy people who know right away what they wanna do with their lives. Or people who are lucky enough to find their purpose and love their job and such.

Oh God, I do hope i find that...I know I can get what I want if i work hard for's just that i DON'T know what it is...sick, huh?

Another post of a 'lost' soul, finding it's way to the light of the tunnel...we are ALL lost, IMO...just hope i realize it before i waste my energy on something that's NOT worth it! I know posts like these seem pretty redundant, but's just how i feel at the moment!

Ok...time to contemplate deeply! I have lots of time for that now, LOL!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Could I BE Any More Annoyed???

Monday, November 16, 2009

So I started my day pretty ok...all was well till middle sister (the younger, but bigger and bossy and sorta beyond MY years) started scolding me. Holy Jeebus, Batman! All because I want to listen to some songs. On one hand, she scolds when I listen with the speakers...on the other hand, I'm scolded even when I use the headphones. It's not like I'm bothering anyone...then mom joins in to scold! Ughhh, it's like I can't catch a break here. Mood-killer!!!

I tried to explore my BB and see what applications it had, so I subscribed a week's BIS on my telco company line...for a small sum. Told the sister and got another awesome scolding. LMFAO! Now she's lecturing me on MY airtime? Ohhh man! Too funny...kinda amused at how someone younger than me could have such little respect...but I guess it happened just when mom trained me to give in to the younger one. Guess the lesson never dies, eh? Not to say that I want her respect, but geez...I have to get a break from all the scolding once in a while. I know you're always gonna be right, and I'm always gonna be wrong...but can you save your mothering for when you have your own kids?

One thing I'm amused at is that she can't take it when I give her some comeback scolding in return!'s more a matter of me ShuttingTFU or just giving in and getting a headache for 5 minutes, then it's over.

Ok, complaining always puts me in a better mood! :))

I shall carry on with my songs now...oh, btw...loving the internet with my BB- youtube, messenger, facebook, google, hotmail, etc...better make it worth it! Hence, gonna use a hell of a whole lotta BB this bloody week. And yeah, I'm blogging from my BlackBerry, woohoo!

Toodlez, bitches!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Just When You Think...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Just when you think Bill Kaulitz' lyric-writing skills couldn't get any better...i find another song from the new album...probably the last out of Humanoid's Deluxe Edition called Phantomrider aka Geisterfahrer in German...the difference? He wrote the original in German, of course...and the German version has a girl singing an excerpt of his "love" answering him from the other side...damn! Of course, it sounds better in the language in which it was written, right? The English version is just for us English-speakers to comprehend and etc...

You see, a geisterfahrer...according to German lore is someone who is on a drunken rampage and/or suicide rampage on an autobahn (highway) in's basically speeding on the wrong side of the highway, either coz you wanna die, or you just want some thrill...whatever it is...TH's version seems to be on a suicidal note, where he is giving up coz he wants to meet his love on the other side...the thing is, we don't know whether the "love" is known to him, or maybe it's just some dream he's pursuing...whatever it is, it's scary the way he chases it, kinda optimistic AND pessimistic at the same time...

Yes, i AM sooooo free to analyse songs...isn't it what i do best? Heheheeh...remember Three Days' Grace and Third Eye Blind, and NIN...yes...guess i kinda like dark, gloomy songs...doesn't misery love company?

Now don't get me wrong...i DO love the fast-tempo songs like Wo Sind Eure Hande or Wir Sterben Niemals Aus --> great to hear it live and acoustic respectively...if only! :( or Hey You...or etc! It's just, why would you analyse the happy songs, right? It's just that...a WYSIWYG kinda thing! You get it! But i think if i should be so lucky as to ask the band some stuff, it would definitely be on the lyrical and musical side, rather than their favorite color or their sexual orientation...which is kinda rude! So what if he's gay or not? His music still rocks, and that's what matters in the end...but isn't it weird that like their German stuff a little bit more than their English ones? Hahaha...i love both versions, but yeah...Deutsch seems more them...duhhh! Meh, whatever...

By the way, haven't been well this past 2 days due to food poisoning...just thinking about it makes me mad! Arrrrggghhhh hate it, hate it, hate it!!! Why is it that I get sick every November? Remember last year? It was either November or December...arrrhhh!!! But yeah, last year was worse...couldn't forget he mere "uggghhhhh.." feeling...okok, i'll stop now!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Done with my last paper...but the bad news is, there was one COMPULSORY question in which i didn't know the answer...FUCKKKKKKKKKK!!! I so screwed it up! And it was 30/50 marks...OMFG...aaarrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!

So i don't know if i should be happy coz it's over...or be sad coz i screwed up! The stuff we were supposed to read came out for the paper, but the stuff we didn't read became the main question! Hmmmph! It's like we can't catch a break with this lecturer...his papers often become controversial. In a previous paper, he told the student that that paper would be multiple-choice questions...and at the exam was a few essay questions!, this!

We love him, but this is too much! Plus, he has retired a few weeks ago...and this is his legacy??? Damn...hope I don't fail! Please, mein gott, ich bin begging dich! LOL, is that even a sentence? I'm going nuts, i tell ya!

Now...on to moving back home, which would be very very excruciatingly tiring! Just have to wait for the sister's word...hopefully before 5 pm so i could hand back the keys...

And at last...i can do whatever the hell i want without the dreaded books...not that i read them anyway...damn, man...i'm such a lousy student! Lol...what the hell am i gonna end up doing with my life? I should've taken journalism or something like that! I find IR OK, but very academic...i was never excellent at academia, but what's done is regrets! And i would love to take up my masters in journalism or popular culture if there's such a thing...oh, is there anything related to music and movies? OMG, that would be a dream, really!!!

Ok, done with the see how my mind wanders? This is what happens when i read or attempt to mind floats away...i'm in a Tokio Hotel concert...AAR concert (which kinda came true!)...BEP concert (which kinda came true!)...Incubus concert (which kinda came true!)...boating on the sea (which kinda came true!)


OMFG! Am i gonna get to watch TH now??? Please please let it be so! I'm sending a message to the cosmos...i shall go to Germany to watch them, while holidaying during Oktoberfest and eating all sorts of German bratwurst and Bavarian cuisine :)

Hell, since i'm dreaming, why not continue, eh?

Next, i shall go to France and do all the stuff i wanna do there...then off to Italy to visit all the piazzas, throw a coin at the Trevi Fountain, climb the Spanish Steps, visit the museums...then go off to Tuscany and live in a chateau at a beautiful vineyard while taking a walk around the hills...then before heading back home, i shall attend a masquerade party in Venice, but of course not before going for a ride with a singing gondolier!

Then someday...i shall go to the US and you that thing which i wanna do badly on the Vegas strip? Then, go up north to Alaska to witness Aurora Borealis...and camp at the alpines and fish for trout!

And why not go to Angkor Wat and be dazzled at the serenity of such wonder!

Ahhh, that's the life...possible? Sure! If others can...why can't I?


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Let's play my fave game...since my mind is blank right now:
  • Ever felt so hungry even after eating 2 hours prior to your hunger pang? Then, you eat a packet of biscuits so quick, and of a pig that you are?
  • Ever felt a song touched you to your soul, that you can't help but cry?
  • Ever had a certain song never fails to get you up from your chair just so you dance to it?
  • Ever felt jittery after drinking that 5th cup of coffee, then wonder why you're feeling jittery and feel like skipping rope?
  • Ever wanted to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, but instead you ATTEMPT to read your lessons for a major test on the same day, then choose not to coz you're afraid you won't wake up?
  • Ever felt doing something major to your hair, like maybe getting dreads...but your head is too small and you'll look like a turd-head? (Yes, i DO have a thing for guys with what?)

Shit, what the hell am i doing??? I gotta focus...


Man, i'm so screwed!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

One Day Till Partial Freedom...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

So about the emo post...had a talk with my besties, and sure enough: they are isolating us! Hah! We unanimously isolate you too, bunch of fucktards! I actually don't know who to pinpoint this so-called conspiracy to, but i've always said i didn't belong here in this university...and I always always always thank God for the friends i've made here...coz life here without them would've been so different. Now, looking back at all the stupid things we've done, all the things we're about to endure in our sorta gives me a moment of sadness+excitement.

I've learned about their secrets, their dreams and i've met their families...truly a blessing for me. And no matter how different i was and am, they never made me feel lost or out of place. And here we are, nearing the penultimate semester...and i'm so freaked out, but i'm so sure we are ALL going to be okay.

I'm proud to say that we all have great upbringing, great tutelage from our parents and we are family-oreinted individuals who will make it in this world. Yes, we never did excellent in our education, heheh...but what are we striving for, not our academic is much more than that. We are more than our CGPAs...we are people who are on a journey to self-discovery...and no matter what we achieve--strip all our materialistic gains, and your real treasures are your loved ones...

Therefore, i post this before i start on my IL reading (which is much too late, LOL!), Just thought i might build up our egos a little...i'm actually pretty good at motivating others...myself, nope! But yes, i meant everything i said!

I'm also trying to cut back on the TH songs which kinda affects me tremendously (the slow ones make me wanna cry and the fast ones make me wanna head-bang)'s actually bad to listen to their songs while reading your books...ich bin distracted! Ach mein gott!

Good luck to all of us...we shall tread the waters together! And one more thing--> One more day till partial freedom!!! Woohoo!!! (I say partial because we still have our thesis...booo!!!)

Sunday, November 08, 2009

In This World...

Sunday, November 08, 2009

In this world, not everyone will like you. Seems like a 'duhh!' statement, but just wanted to make it clear...i used to think "So what...I've got better things to do...", but my mom keeps this mantra which I find pretty non-Zen, but more goes like this,

"If you don't like me...I don't like you MORE!"

Well, i have always been a person who likes to not hold it against a person who treats you badly. But for some reason, me thinking this way just isn't cut out for the real world. I feel like a schmuck if i let another person treat me like a piece of crap, and hey...turning the other cheek is something Jesus could do, but heck...I'm no Jesus!

So there...i know that i will and can't please everyone in this world...and of course, i may not be the best person in the world, but i'll tell you this...NO ONE IS A SAINT! Everyone has their faults, and i surely am one of them!

What is this about actually? Well, let's just say that some people really are mean...yes, another "Duhh!" statement, which I shall not get into in detail...just because I look like i have a hard exterior, it doesn't mean i'm immune to any sort of feelings...what the hell do some people know, that they can isolate you or a clique? I think that if I don't bother you, then why the fuck should you bother minding me (or my friends) anyway?

All i wanna do now is listen to my Tokio Hotel...their music, though some may call them lame, their music speaks to me in loads of ways...the vocalist's voice would seem kinda nasally, but it kinda works...the lyrics, the all works for me, so relevant to what i, as a young individual am going through. It gives me some sort of solace coz it's full of hope. Yes, i'm a dweeb by the way! Lol...Moral is, I love their songs coz i can relate! Therefore, ich liebe Tokio Hotel!

I couldn't find the tabs for 1000 Meere (1000 Oceans in English), so i wrote my own, albeit in a higher works. Still slow in transitioning, but faster compared to previous attempts. Kinda find solace when i play now. Wish i had one for my own, and i will get it when i get some monay!

Oh yeah, my former boss is hiring an ad hoc team coz he's bringing in this major Filipino superstar to do a concert here. I'll be his "wingman" (LOL!), together with my sis. Hope i could meet great new people, and maybe widen my network, since i'll be graduating soon...God i hope this works!

Hmmm, i dunno. Maybe i'm going nuts or something...maybe i'm PMS-ing, but there you have it...the story may seem stupid, but yes...i'm feeling like i'm in a whole different galaxy because of some people who are fucking retards! I just thank God, that with the bad, there's good to balance it. Thank God for good people!

So there you have it...another emo post! -___-

And God...thank you for everything i have! I thank you coz i never take anything i have for granted...

Friday, November 06, 2009


Friday, November 06, 2009

Yes...i slept for a total of...13 hours!!! Guess that's what NOT sleeping does to you...i have paid back all my sleepless nights, and i have gotten a major headache for over-sleeping! Ouch!

Yesterday, i was listening to Zoom Into Me by TH, i just discovered it...and i absolutely love it that i woke up humming the song...fuck! I'm so obsessed with their songs...hope it's just a phase! Anyway, the riff is played on a piano, and if you just focus on the piano part, i think i could play i always liked playing the piano, just that i didn't like the songs i was made to play...

Ok, now i'm sad coz i don't have the time i can afford one, i would be old! Arrrggghhhh!!! Even playing the damn guitar, i have to ask permission coz it's not mine! How does one develop if one can't practice everyday, huh?

Anyway, enough of this...i'm supposed to get back home hours ago, but i just can't seem to have the will to journey back home. The waiting kills me. The sardine-packed trains kill me. The pushing animals kill me. I hate it!

One day, i hope and pray...i won't have to endure this shit least others in the family have a car. So it's easy to keep scolding me when i say i'm lazy to come home early...

Yup, looks like an emo post...LOL! Well, so what? It's my blog and i'll post whatever the hell i want. Not like anyone reads this shit.

Oh yeah, forgot to write about my concert last Saturday...will do so tonight maybe! On a rather related note, i would just like to proclaim that...

ICH LIEBE TOKIO HOTEL! (I mean i love their songs...the new ones, not the old ones where Bill's voice was still high and boyish!)

Ok, i'm done...

Thursday, November 05, 2009

In Die Nacht

Thursday, November 05, 2009

See what my obsession does to me? I've started learning German just so i can understand the lyrics...LOL,'s just a title of Tokio Hotel's German song...i love it; it means In the Night...but it would seem that Into the Night would be better-suited!

Okay why the hell am i blogging when there's five hours on the clock till my next exam? Why? Who the hell knows...i'm just crazy! To add to the craziness, i slept for a total of 3 hours yesterday...then i had to finish up my last assignment, pass it up and read up on tomorrow's exam! Didn't have time to pay-up on the snooze! So i hope i would wake up after ANOTHER 3 hours of sleep!!! Please, God...please!

And the freakin' owl that keeps swooping across my window won't stop screechin' for God knows what screeeches everyday around this time. So, any idea on how i could ever get some sleep? Facebook tells me i'm not the only one in my class who's having a hard time sleeping...thank goodness i'm not alone! Misery really does love company, huh?

I'm listening to 1000 Meere for the umpteenth time...still not bored with it! I guess I kinda channel my good qualities into shit like this...why can't i do something good for once, rather than look for songs, research on some cult, or band, or even blog...

I'm so fucked! Toodles, and wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

New Obsession...

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Well you know sometimes when a singer of a band has a gimmicky or rather 'out there' kinda look, it turns a person off...but after I put those kinds of things aside, i kinda like the band...who? what?

It's Tokio Hotel...your average German-rockers-turned-international sensation! Okok, i must admit it, Bill and Tom Kaulitz; the twins made me fascinated...and the initial song that brought me in was some song i saw in a video montage during a recent concert i was 'Automatic'...or 'Automatisch' in German...sound better in English, ahahaha!

As curiosity hit me, so i YouTubed the song and i heard the whole ok, i liked it! Then, i saw few related videos on the band and discovered they were soooo freakin' German! LOL, they can't even speak English without sounding like some German character out of The Simpsons...but yeah, i like their songs. The German ones, the English ones...both!

TH sounds like the LostProphets, with some Rammstein flavor (but of course, just the German factor...Rammstein is waaaaaaay too legendary to be compared to TH!)

Maybe it's a phase, but I like them and that's that...and even if Bill looks like a hot girl, it doesn't steer away from the concept of good music. I wouldn't say it's fantastic, but it certainly got my attention...

Hey, maybe gimmics DO work...if he dressed like your average Joe, i wouldn't have discovered them anyway! So here's to you...Tokio Hotel! Ich liebe dich...hahahahah!

Okok, I know they're an 'old' band...but it wouldn't hurt to gain a new fan, right? Below are the twins; Tom and Bill the looks of the videos on them, Tom is more guy-like, while Bill is ultra feminine in the way he talks and acts...funny, huh? Bill is so pretty!

TH, my new obsession...please come to Malaysia soon!