Life's Sick Lil' Games...

I don't know if he's left the house or maybe he's hiding too well so that none of us could find him, but i wanted to put this song here just as a tribute to his genius...ROFLMAO!

So here's to BEN...FYI, you were named after Michael Jackson's hit back when he was a kid...i've learnt to use Ben whenever i say rat/rodent...but for you, i've used BEN, with upper casing...lol! So here's to you...hope you get the hell out of my house and not have babies anywhere in it!!!

Lyrics:

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)

I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend) Like Ben
(like Ben) Like Ben

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It seemed like a time where i felt like i wanted to get to bed a little early, since i'm sleepy and all! And okay, around 3 in the morning, i went to my room, only to see a figure of a rat near my window! FUCK!!! My windows are shutters, so there's some space between them when they're closed! And whaddya know, i saw BEN (i named it BEN, after michael Jackson's hit...lol!) trying to get out, but before i saw it go anywhere, i screamed for my dad! It probably got in through that stupid shutter window of mine...damn!

Dad came to my room, inspected everything and said, "All clear!"...and what the hell? Next thing i know, being in the hall alone, after everyone is asleep, i saw it! I saw him...i saw BEN!!! He was huge...with the longest fucking tail!

OMG, and the sliding door was closed! I couldn't bring myself to open it, as BEN was near the door, looking for an exit i suppose...well, i called my sis on her phone, and told her to seal her room door, but she had to come downstairs to nosey around...and dad came down too! Next thing is, he's telling me i'm seeing things!

Hell what do i know, i thought the bloody rodent was stalking me! Hahahaha, and my dad finally saw it! We tried to chase it out, but it hides too well...we narrowed it down to the sofa...it's somewhere in there, and yet...with many attempts to take each piece of sofa out...it couldn't be found! And so, everyone got tired, and slept...EXCEPT me!

I didn't sleep in my room coz of that rat...and now i couldn't sleep in the hall coz of that fuckin rat! Wtf, am i missing something here? And the rat is still hiding in that chair...i've kept watch the whole morning...holding the things that's closest to my grasp...a badminton racket and cockroach spray! ROFLMAO! Go figure...i heard it moving around, so i quickly opened the door so it could get out...but, alas! It still hasn't escaped...

Now i'm tired and sleepy...it's freakin' 8 in the morning and i wanna sleep! My sis has gone for classes, and has offered me her bed! Okay! I'll take it, thank God!

So now, i'm off! Wish me luck with my room...must seal my windows!!! Fuck! All the room windows do not use the 'shutters' kind--EXCEPT mine! Hows that for lucky! Plus, my room faces the back side of the house, which is the ugly side! The kind where you can see your back neighbours dirty kitchens...arrrggghhh!!! That's probably where BEN came from!!!

Damn! Okok, i'm done...so stick a fork in me! Arrrggghhhh!!!

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Ever wonder sometimes where the hell you're heading for in life? I've made plans...and plans never turn out how you imagined them. I'm gonna be in my final year after the holidays, and i've yet to KNOW exactly what i'm supposed to be doing.

I can say where i could work...i could work for the foreign service, the Malaysian Political Think-tank, i could work for the bank, i could work for the various MNCs here in Malaysia, i could work as a journalist, i could work for the mass media...and many more. The key is "COULD"...but do i WANT to? What do i want? Do any of us actually figure out the answer in the end?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO!

Where am i heading? Shitdamncrap!

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Yesterday I was supposed to pay my mom's credit cards...but it didn't happen coz my mom failed to mention i was to withdraw 1.7k from my acc that she banked in...wtf? My bank doesn't let me withdraw more than a thousand okay? Epic fail for the night!

So what did me and my sisters do? We went up the hill near the neighborhood...baby fell asleep...LOL! EVERYTIME we get into a car at night, she sleeps...hahahaha! My other sis and I didn't wanna go home, see? My dad went to teach and usually gets home around 11pm. So, you know how we are...as long as we get the chance to get the hell out of the house even for awhile...WE WILL DO SO!

So up the hill we drove...and boy, we saw a house - a big, beautiful, cozy and spacious house! My sis and I looked at each other and both said, "One day..." in unison! Lol...sigh...coz life ain't grand right now. All i do now is wish for the days to get better for us all. I know we aren't the only ones having hard times...most families are. So i won't go into much detail there.

Anyway, we saw the great view of KL...of course, with her towers of glory...my sis had an idea to take pics of the city lights in motion...so i took one on my phone...and so, behold:



Looks like some festival, huh?

What else...ooh, discovered that this old friend of mine had some guy problems, and all i could think of was "What???" Damn, girl...u should not fall THAT easily! I mean, you barely know the person. I still wonder...How? How? And I warned her not to be too forward or persistent in going after the person...you might scare the poor guy...sigh, the lengths some girls go through...but she did anyway!

I sometimes wonder how in the world do we remain close when we have different minds? Lol...variety is the spice of life, right? Well, all i can say is, i did my part...AND if you need me, i'm still here to support you! No matter how secretly disappointed i am of you, i'll still support you...no question about it!

To anyone who feels like crap...hang in there and be sure u find peace...i'm guessing it's a period of tough luck, hard times, and shit loads of bullcrap...What can you do? Look at the stars, feel the breeze of the cool night air, hear the sound of the rain...or the waves on a beach, cook for yourself, hear some great music to soothe your soul...be alone with your thoughts to ponder on life's wonders...cherish the things you have, and say "Fuck you and goodbye!" to the toxic people around you, Lol! These are just a few of many things you could do.

Now mind you, once i find that a friend needs some solitude, i respect and will do just that. I do that too sometimes! :) Solitary confinement helps...

So i wish you luck in attaining inner peace and pure bliss!

Song i'm listening to right now is an old favorite...but it seems to me that it's quite relevant in todays' freakish situation: Hurt by NIN. Man, i still wish i could go see NIN in concert! Thus, one of the shittiness of being broke!

Damn, i've had it with talking about fiscal issues!!! I've had it! So i'd better go before i talk more about it!

Toodlez, bitches!!!

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La...lalalala...Ulysses!!!

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I'm taking a lot of quizzes on Facebook...today is a pretty boring day. And it's someone's birthday today...but it ain't a happy one. That's all I have to say! I thank God coz she doesn't know any better.

Tomorrow, however is another girl's bday...Happy bday, Ms. Fitrina!!! May your birthday bring you the joy and happiness you deserve!!!

Okok, so what now? Right now, my fingers are sore from the strings...found some tabs of songs i've always wanted to learn (easy ones only), but damn! Just as I get to practising, my name gets called, and i have to do something! Epic fail!!! But i try whenever i can...skin of fingers are peeling, ewwww!!! And hardening too! Double-ewwww!

And what about today? We're supposed to go to grandma's today...hate it! Won't elaborate further... :S

My hair is getting too long for me to manage...wanna chop it off as soon as i get the money...shorter hair is so much better, hehehe! Well, not too short...but not long either. Meh, i dunno...we'll see when the money comes in, hehehe...money talks, right? Shit, maybe i'll just cut+style it myself...hahaha, or maybe i'll just go bald!

I don't really have much to write now, as i'm just typing whatever comes to my head...utter gibberish!

Okok, gotta go...toodlez, bitches!

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The detour mentioned earlier was confirmed on Friday night when i got the message from mom's meeting with the ambassador...she IS going tomorrow, Sunday morning at 5 am! Okaaay, so it's fine. All i'm feeling is worried for mom's safety, like always!

I mean, wow! Why do i always always always get so worried when she goes? I miss her already...and the fact that she's going for Mother's Day? Even worse! My poor mother...and I love her so...we all do! Know what is the best thing in all of this? The best thing is i KNOW for a fact that God really takes care of us...i mean, of all the times my mom gets posted there, I happen to be on holiday...and if i don't, it's my sis who has a break from college. Is it a mere coincidence, or is SOMEONE / SOMETHING really watching over us? I'd prefer to think it's the latter!

Well, there goes the short post...for now, i have to plan a lot of stuff...grocery shopping, stuff to cook for the week, laundry (DAMN!), etc...

So much for a fun vacay, huh? Well...i'l save it for a weekend or two! And who can forget...THE TRIP!!! So looking forward to it!

Till then...toodlez, bitches!

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And here i am...home at last! After the endless ups and downs of the beloved staircase of my dorm (i climbed up and down like 7 times!), i have finally carried EVERYTHING!!! My arms hurt like hell!

But...then again, leaving is a bittersweet moment...yeah, sure...wasn't much, but damn it was my temple of solitude...a place where i found peace...a place where i could just be alone, look outside and i can see the forest, the sky, feel the breeze, hear the rain, etc...it was good while it lasted!

Just turned 22 last April, and i was shown that i have the sweetest friends...one drove for miles just to gimme a whole bunch of stuff, (and denies NOT knowing my birthday was near...) and the others just tried their best to keep things hush-hush, surprising me with a cake! Again i thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart *hugs*!

So i had two birthday cakes - well, 1 birthday cake, and 12 cupcakes from this place where they sell cupcakes (duhh!!!) for a ridiculous price! But damn, they taste good! *drools* Parents got me a new phone, which i'm thankful for!


(I shared a birthday cake with Fitrina Walhaallahallah!!! Happy birthday in advance babe! Remember how we finished it, and were on the verge of puking from too much cake? ROFLMAO...good times!)


(It says: "Betday Kakak!" -- just the way my baby sis says it...cute, huh? My other sis' idea! Omg, these cupcakes are heaven. Note to self: need to learn to bake awesome cupcakes!!! Lol! the topping was...*drools*)

BACK TO THE JOURNAL...

What else, huh...the exams. Well, what should i say about the exams -- i would say it sucked balls to the core, but i am hoping for the best, hehehe! Serves me right for not revising and sticking to the Devil's trap, which is the internet!!! He must be laughing at me now, but yeah...i suck!

Said our goodbyes right after the last paper, and left each other just like that...man, i miss you guys already! :'(

Now that i'm home, i have been appointed the family cook...again! And i am also the maid...which sucks, coz i would make a horrible maid due to my procrastination and laziness. Well, they asked for it! Lol!

My baby sis is talking a lot now...damn, they sure do grow up pretty fast! She can say what she means, albeit a little broken...but we get what she tries to say...Man, it never ceases to amaze me how time passes by...i get surprised by it every single day! I mean, was it really passing this quick ever since? Or is it something that's only happening NOW? I dunno...as i remember, it didn't use to be this fast!

Oh, yeah...Mom might be posted in Sabah again, so...i dunno, the trip might be postponed to the final week of June, instead of mid-May! I hate it when this happens...i hate when plans take a detour and i just wish plans just stay the main agenda...but it doesn't, and i'll just have to accept it, won't i?

And what's with the weather nowadays? OMG, it's so freakin' hot, that I sweat while taking a shower...i sweat while standing near a fan...wtf is up? Have we screwed up the environment soooo much that we are now suffering the consequences? It rains for 2 minutes, then it's back to the heatwave...arrrgghhh!

Okay, so for now...done with all the goss - so all i have to say now is...

Toodlez, bitches!

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