Life's Sick Lil' Games...

See what I said about the law of attraction? I obsessed about going to France for a long time now...heck, it's one of the reasons i took up the language! And though I felt an inkling of a possibility of going there, i didn't wanna jinx it till it was remotely possible!

And now, i've been informed that a committee is to be formed, and of course...i was over-zealously upfront in claiming a spot! Hope i get in...the lecturer even said that higher-level students are given priority which means...go figure! Level 4, thank you very much!

And I know for a fact...by hook or by crook! I WILL be in France next year! I will! I can even feel the atmosphere of the cafes, Arc du Triomphe and Champs-Elysees...Le Tour d'Eiffel...OMG!

I thank you God for the chance...just seeing an opportunity gives me sheer joy coz it leads me to believe that thinking and visualizing manifests into reality. It always does when you have some positivity...the universe always helps you get what you want. So for now let me do a Dorothy and pretend my ruby slippers would send me en France! I know, don't count your eggs before they hatch...but I for one am not gonna taint this dream with a hint of negativity! It's toxic...so any negativity will be banished!

Je vais aller en France avec mes amis...c'est super et incroyable! Maintenant, 'Le Secret' à Rhonda Byrne c'est vrai pour moi!

Please...the Secret by Rhonda Byrne...i've always vouched for its propensity for working...read it if you can. If you want it...i'll share! Tell me if you do... :)

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It's been awhile since i've updated this blog, but i've been busy and a little lazy too! Well, it's the beginning of my Raya holidays, which is a week! And in this week, I'm probably gonna go visit a few friends' open house for Raya (which I love!!!) and then maybe we could swap stories after months if not years of not seeing each other...

And i'll be going to watch BEP and AAR...woohoo!!! AAR thanks to me and my sis and a friend buying DiGi's simcard and subscribing to their whatever MusicLive thingy...although, i used my mom's DiGi account due to my lack of finances!!! LOL! BEP is all mom...heck, i didn't think much of it, but when mom offered, and my sis said "YES!!!", i was inadvertently saying yes as well...hahahaha, so now i'm pretty fuckin' excited since i love BEP and the Rejects...but I will pay her for my ticket once my PTPTN gets credited in December!

At least i'm havin' some fun in my life...OMG, the rules of "The Secret"...i think it really works, coz I didn't know AAR was coming back here, and i wished with all the positive vibes, and there you have it; next thing I know, they're coming for DiGi's birthday bash and all that shit! And now, after redeeming my ticket, i'm like "Wow!"

But now comes the hard part...my mom is really adamant about migrating to that country...if only I could make her see that initial attraction could become a later regret...i mean, of course i complain about Malaysia, but to revoke my citizenship to become a Canadian? OMFG...

I knew my parents wanted to migrate when they were older, but now seems too soon! I mean, I haven't even graduated...but i'll support them 100% if they wanted to go on without me and my sister...they can bring the baby coz seriously, I think she would be better educated over there. But for me and my sis (the middle one), we need to stay here to live our lives, gain some experience...maybe later on, if we decide to work there, we'd join you guys...coz consider the damn cold weather, the lack of mamak stalls, the norm that is bland non-spicy food, and i think i'd die!

And dad is all quiet and actually considering the idea...and here i thought it was just an idea in passing that my mom concocted from talking to her relatives living over there...but when she sent me that email talking about the price for the lawyers and shit, i was thinking "OMG, she's fuckin' serious? ALL OF US???"

Then, talking to her, i asked her to not just jump into the bandwagon out of excitement...everything is unknown over there...yes, it would seem nice at first, but what about the pros and cons? What chance do I have over there? I don't wanna end up being a cleaner over there...what about my career? I can't go there as a freshie and expect to be in ANY sort of corporate ladder...

And there my mom goes again, pressuring me to join the M'sian Diplomatic Service or fail in this country... i mean wtf, right? My life is not to please everyone...sometimes i think, what's the point...whatever i choose, my mom would ALWAYS want me to be a damn freakin' ambassador/diplomat, even if i think that life would make me miserable (i presume, but i'm not sure!)

And there you have it...life's ups and downs in a nutshell...

Right now, i'm happy about the Raya and concerts, but i'm utterly shocked at the migrating bit...of course!!! Well, wouldn't YOU??? It's all so...sudden!!! We don't even have anything! We'd have to sell of everything we have here just to move there, and i'm in no shape of giving up all my chances in this country just yet! I love Malaysia, but i love my family more...

So if we were to make a compromise, I would say, you guys go ahead, gain your citizenship, and maybe i'd get PR status or something like that...but i'll just be here in Malaysia with my sis who also doesn't seem interested in this whole idea...maybe we would go back every Christmas or something like that...

Okok, i may be looking way too ahead...i mean, it's not even confirmed that you are going!!! But as usual, i think too much so now i'll STFU!

Toodlez!!!

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Hahaha, reading about The Secret tells me that I have somehow acquired this special ability...I didn't know about this "secret" until a few hours ago, after stumbling on Oprah's website (accidentally...)

I have actually gained some material items by sheer will...examples:

• Got into a university = education that I can afford, without burdening my parents
• Won some stuff that I really really REALLY wanted - Sony mp3 Walkman, tickets to a concert, perfume for my mother...hope there's more to come!
• Really wanted a laptop...and got one (I'm not rich, so getting one for free...nice!)
• Really wanted something that would increase happiness within my family - my baby sister! C'mon, you gotta admit...a gap of 17-years between children is somewhat amazing!
• Things that seems sucky always make way for better things...it does!

Well, that being said...I should try to be more optimistic...and perhaps build on something bigger:

• I always wanted to do something significant in this world...something good, as a way to show gratitude for all the good things that come
• I also really want that feeling you get when you're in love...you know, the whole butterflies in your stomach thing...
• I want to travel...I couldn't say this enough! Please let this happen...I want to be a worldly person and experience different cultures
• I want to learn to swim...at least before I leave this world...being afraid of drowning prohibits this...a pity!
• I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO STUDY WITHOUT FAILING. Case in point: the fact that i'm updating my blog, and not reading my notes is proof enough, isn't it!

This is how distraction manifests...

Any comments? Do tell...

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