Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Didn't I just write about men who would just buck-up and tell a girl how they feel? That's exactly what happened to me these past few days...unbelievable! I admire him for being brave and taking the first step...ok, so I actually respect him for his actions, but that doesn't mean we're an item now! I'm just acknowledging that there are men who are man enough to go after what they gives a girl a sense of optimism and hope! :P

God bless that boy...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Is It A Weakness...or Strength?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A few days ago, we had this trainer come in to teach us a few things...he was amazing; an older gentleman, with years...I mean YEARS of experience. He's huge around the region, the US, UK and Australia. He was the one who assessed us Management Trainee hopefuls during the 2-day assessment. Mind you, there were 2 sessions for this. The first one was earlier this year. I was in the 2nd one in August.

He taught us many things and told us countless inspirational stories to motivate us and teach us that if it is to be a reality, it will be up to us...the line goes like this, "IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME". This line helped him during a dark period of his life, where an old sage told him to buck up and be what he wants to be. It really affected us all...coz look what has become of this trainer...he has achieved many things, trained countless MNCs, and about 60,000 people!!!

The last day of training, at the last session, he made us do this activity...the finale! He made each person stand in front and be complimented by each and every person. So you can imagine me giving countless sincere one-on-one, eye contact and hugging...while giving a good, sincere good quality compliment to one person at a time!

I was the last know how I hate compliments, but he says that you can't say NO or shake your just had to nod and say thank you! THIS, ladies and gentleman...this affected me tremendously!

In the end, 11 out of 15 of the MTs started shedding tears, and I just couldn't help myself! I immediately started crying after a few of my close colleagues (now my friends) gave me sincere compliments...the others too, each hugged me or held my hand, looked into my eyes and said that I could achieve great things, that I was a kind person...that I was beautiful, etc.

All these years I never believed it! All the years passed by me telling everyone else that they were beautiful, but I hadn't realized that EVERYONE is...and that includes ME! Sometimes I forget all the hard and negative crap that I've been through growing up because I sort of erased them from my memories and just leave them behind...but the nasty comments given to me stuck at the back of my head. Telling me I'm not good enough, although countless of times I've been told otherwise.

This session helped me realize that what I was doing was wrong. I am beautiful like everyone else. I just never believed people could perceive me that way. Until that day...

In the end, the session was done...and he asked each of us to sum up what we had gained from this training...I was last again...and though some had traces of tears while they explained what exactly they had learned, when I started to talk...I actually choked-up and couldn't even finish a sentence...bugger! I showed everyone my vulnerability...they embraced me and that made me so overcome with emotions even more. What had this done to meeeee??? I basically was holding back from crying, making it even more obvious that I was crying!

LMAO...this was a breakthrough, people! I have NEVER cried in public!! And I saw that the trainer was gonna cry as was such a positive moment where all you could feel was love around you. I know it sounds like some hippie movement, but that's truly how it was. Saying goodbye (not the last time we'd be meeting him though!), I couldn't just shake his hand, I went ahead and gave him a big old hug! AND that's why he's who he is!

Anyway, truth be told...I truly treasured this session and it made all of us closer...I think this organization could achieve greatness if training for self-growth is given. For now, I think they are spoiling us with these lessons. In a good way!

Dare I say it, I'm looking forward to going for "training" every day! Could I love my job? Only God knows...but I think I'm heading with the right attitude...Amen!

And God bless Mr. Trainer (I won't reveal his name) for teaching me lessons, not only about management skills...but about life too!


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Why can't some people just come out and say it? Why do they need to create an elaborate game plan just to attain something they're not even sure of? It seems funny to me why this looks so forced and unnatural to me, and I hate it!

Stop wasting your a man! Most of us aren't complicated, and I'm not those girls who like playing games.

Ok...totally out-of-the-blue, but it's what I wanna say for now.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Sunday, September 12, 2010 I got into the Dean's List. They sent me a certificate. They wrote on the envelope, "Jangan lipat/Do not fold!"

Then some idiots at the post office or maybe the postman goes on and folds it...I open it in anger. It is so crumpled-up like a tissue paper...I become the Hulk! Fuck first (and last) time getting this honor, and the idiot spoils it!!!


Sorry, but for someone like me who has never gotten into the Dean's List...I am pretty don't blame me for getting a little nuts...k? Thanks!

Idiot postman!!!


Sunday, September 12, 2010

Well, here's one thing I'd never thought I'd have this early on...a four-day holiday! Heheh...well, so's been good! Challenges await me, but I'm ready! I'm eyeing the Marketing Department...just because I relate to it so much. It's strategy, long-term planning, delegating, communicating to the advertisers, intermediary to the mother organization and its's more ME! But...early on I see others eyeing that department, too!

I don't know if they started assessing which MT goes to which dept yet...but then again, we've only been here for about 2 weeks. The hard part hasn't even started yet! On my part, I have to read this awesome book by the Harvard Business Review...okay, so I haven't done anything, but I know it's a great book that I would enjoy reading!

Not even receiving my first paycheck, and my Mom is already planning what I may or may not pay for... -____- Okay, so I WILL pay for some utilities here...I always said I would! BUT please don't go planning for me to pay for things and buying this-and-that when I'm only a week in...

Hmmm, there never fails to be a sort of pressure with Mom...I know that she hates that I took this job, since there's no way in 3 years I would be working for the diplomatic corps (see what I did there? Hahhaahha...genius!!!) :P

Another thing is the need of a car! I NEED one!!! So far, I've been going to and from work by driving Dad's car coz my sister is on a 2-week break. After this, she'll have to send me to work again! It's hard and it's such a waste on petrol...I've already broken down my pay in case I get a's gonna be a challenge, but one I'm willing to take! Even the toll is about RM10 a day...their travel allowance is just enough for a month's worth of toll.

Wow, somebody needs a pay hike asap! I will do a great job and get a pay hike within 6 months...this is my short-term goal!!! I know that I can't get it within 4 months because I'll be in training...but I will try AFTER that. ;P

So...what else? Oh, everyone in my batch is somehow attached or engaged to be married...this makes me realize that I am the odd one out...I don't even state my status...just gonna leave it at that and let them guess all they want...know what? I've been so lucky in so many areas of my life...I have accepted that I'm just unlucky in ONE area...I have come to terms with this; there is no man who will ever make my dreams come true...coz what I want is a fairytale which doesn't exist. I have built this man in my head so high, that no actual person could ever fulfill this dream...well, nobody asked me to dream this BIG, right? It's just me dreaming big like I always do (well, it's not like I'm the perfect girl anyway...hehehe! ), coz Oprah always tells us to "Dream big!"...and this is something that I couldn't do any other way! :)

Also, I miss my home in the Philippines...when any of my relatives from Guagua message me on Facebook, I am instantly taken back to the paddy fields...the jeepney rides in the village...the family...I remember the boat ride we took, exactly like in one of my was just wonderful! This is the very reason I believe in far it has worked tremendously for me.

The trip to Paris was my ultimate LoA dream as well, but I think now is not the time...doesn't mean I'll never get there...I sent a letter of resignation to my lecturer, and he sent a heartfelt reply. No matter what, I will try my best to get them at least ONE sponsor...a good one! I really miss taking French classes with my friends...when you leave, it's not the lessons that you's the memories! AND I'm glad that I have created memories with the people I matter what happens, I'll always have photographs and keepsakes from the 3 years we've spent together (and some I've known for longer ;P).

Wow, it's been so long since I've written a long, brain-extracting post! Voila...

I don't expect anyone to read this, but it's so cathartic for me to write what I'm feeling. I will certainly read this post in the future, feeling the same emotions...God bless!

Monday, September 06, 2010

So Much Has Happened...

Monday, September 06, 2010

I can't believe it...the time has passed so quickly...and all this while I haven't updated my can this be? I miss you...I miss coming here and typing everything in my head...where no judgment passes me...all the words just lie here in a vacuum of the blogosphere!

I am currently working...yes, I AM WORKING!!! OMG...I didn't say it earlier because I didn't wanna jinx it, but who needs to say anything when you have a mother who practically broadcasts everything on her Facebook wall??? I am laughing now, but when she did it at the time, I was so freakin' mad and embarrassed...well, the past is forward to now...I did get the job, and I'm now undergoing training!

What's mad is I have joined the automobile industry...which is something I have never thought of joining...but whoever said the Taurus sign isn't your heart out!!! This is a total 180 for me in every way! Cars...I have to eat, sleep and breathe cars...I am actually looking forward to this...hahaha, especially the part where I will be attached as a technician! OMG...ganassss aka fierce!!! LMAO!!!

Okay, so it's been a few days of ups and downs, but I have been warned that the coming weeks are gonna be hell...I'm freakin' ready...ready for anything you wanna give me!!!

I shall note my day-to-day activities if I of the trainers said it's good to keep notes, so you don't forget...or maybe a few years down the road, you can read it again and remember the good and bad of your past experiences. For now...those other MTs are my friends, and I'm sure we're gonna grow together. Please be with us, God!

And as for the trip to much as I want to go...I am bonded to the organization which hired me...I have 4 months of training, in which I can't take I sent in my resignation and pulled out of the trip...much to my sadness. But I can';t do anything but support my friends who are lucky enough to join the trip...please do it, and live my dream for me... :D

What else? Oh, I might get a car soon...might get staff price without waiting a year since we're bonded for 3 freakin' years!!! Muahahah, I don't want one, but I NEED one! It's just impossible to borrow Dad's car all the time! Impossible! Hey, even if I don't get the staff price...I NEED one... :(

Till the next post...I'm fuckin''s 12 am...OMG, I'm becoming normal!!! :-0