Friday, April 30, 2010


Friday, April 30, 2010

The title sums up how I've been feeling these past few weeks; cooped-up in this room, pressure building from worries, anxiety, zits, belly fat, etc...all coz i've not been moving much...just moving from the seat to my bed, and to the seat again (save for buying food, bathing, toilet breaks and going home for awhile...), the stress shows on my face and body coz I haven't been taking care of it since the beginning of the semester! -____-

After all the crap of anxiousness and panic, I kept repeating, "God help me, God help me, God help me..." while trying my best to help myself think clearly and ridding myself out of a writer's block!

Today, I completed the final draft and nervously went to see my supervisor. The first few minutes was excruciating, as he was reading quite silently...he then started to correct a few technical errors such as hyphenations and explained that I needed footnotes as well as the author-date system...okaaaay, looks like everybody gives me different information...dang! But I was more interested in the contents...was it correct or wrong...or???

"Well, this is after all YOUR findings, so I can't be the one to say that you're wrong..."


So he goes on to say that his responsibility is to check on my first and last chapter...the correlation, the format, the essence of my took quite awhile till my classmate under his supervision as well came knocking...she has completed hers and is ready to bind it! Whoaaa...

So then he said what I should amend, talked a little about the formatting (UKM style sucks...go with Chicago style, lmao!), etc...and I asked him about minimum pages...and he actually said that there's no minimum! WHOAAA!!! Ok!!! And what about the literature review? He said, "...about five books." Whaaaat??? Hahahaha...and I was flustered at all this revelations...damn, I should've asked him before...

So for now, I'm back...bought some lunch! Now, a huge burden is lifted and I have the whole weekend to do this shit of a thesis! Oh holy crap, I forgot...I have to move out, stat!!! Awww man!!!

For now all I have is one thing to say, and that is thank you God for letting me finish in time for my appointment with Dr. least I could do it during the weekend! God is great!

PS: Wee, I so wanna go, k? Next weekend? Sorry...but i'm up for drinks if you are! Miss you guys...;)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

MAF Ftw!!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010's not the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry...MAF is an acronym for the coolest and sweetest bunch of peeps I know! LOL!

I'm shamelessly into Tokio you've already been told countless of times, heheh! Indeed, TH is my guilty pleasure!!! Many people think they're lame and stuff like sister despises them, hahahah! But I really enjoy their music for the many reasons I've stated before!

So to think that they bought me TH's latest album for my's just! It's the thought that counts ok??? Even if you gave me some cheap mamak-stall lunch for my birthday, i'd still appreciate it...hahahaha! But of course this is waaaaay better! LMAO!

For my part, the moment Munik shoved a little bag onto my hands, I thought..."Awwww, thank you!"

Then I opened it...

...I was speechless for a few seconds, but I said a lot by my actions:

1. Shrieking like a 15 year-old stereotypical bimbotic high school chick
2. Jumping while wearing a kebaya (thank God nobody was around!)
3. Smiling from ear-to-ear; before that I was really in a bad mood

Then M says, "Sorry we couldn't get you any tickets..." Are you kidding? This thing you gave me says a lot ok?

To me, it says "We don't care how lame TH is, we bought it for you coz we know you love them!"

Thank you know I wanted to get the CD for so long, but never got to a chance to get it. The fact that YOU bought it makes it more valuable to meeee...why? 'Coz it's the sweetest thing!!! You bought it coz you know how much I love TH!!!! girls have to sign it k!!!

Love ya!!!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Nothing Else To Write About...But Who Cares?

Monday, April 26, 2010

I just realized that I can't just go out for a drive in the wee hours of the morning anymore...why? Coz mom friggin' changed her car to some bigger car...and she's so paranoid that I might scratch it or hit something, that now I'M the one who's scared to drive it... :/

So much for wanting to sneak out for a 4-something Mickey D brekkie (which I enjoy more than the lunch!)...damn, I miss that small car!!! Bad choice in changing cars, mom...bad choice! It was so practical and efficient...and you saved loads on gas!

I'm so hungry right now...oh yeah, mom bought an itty-bitty waffle-maker...I came home the other day and started jumping like a fcukin' retard when I saw it...Yeah, I was in ultimate bliss, but also in 'jakun' mode, hehehe...

Now I can make waffles any time I want!!! Woohoo...need to brush up on making the perfect waffle...from scratch! Heheheh...

Off to hunt for food and ransack the kitchen...fridge, here I come!

UPDATE: Just talking bout waffles...I couldn't help but give in to my I had to make the batter (super lazy though!!!) but I cheated and used that Pillsbury mix instead...still tasted like waffles, so nothing to it...and of course, ya gots to add de butta and maple syrup...and "hallelujah!!!" Once you take that first bite... :P

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Still Alive...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

What would I do without you?

It's not hard for me to keep me sane. It's too organic; the way I find it easy to let it all out - through you. Heck, you're like an addiction!

I wish I could find something which I love as much as I love writing stuff in my head down in this thing called a blog...I'm not kidding!

3 years of tertiary studies almost ending, and I've still yet to have a clear road to where I'm heading. It's kinda like I'm driving a car on a dark desert road, not knowing where I'm going. The headlights are on, but all I can see are the next 20 feet...and nothing beyond.

I already made my choice not to join the diplomatic corps, much to my mom's disdain. Well, I always thought that I wanted to be a diplomat...but maybe what I actually wanted was to travel. Yes, I am quite ok when it comes to following protocols and shit...but is that ME? Hell no!

I know what I want to achieve, and yet I know not how to get there...and that, my the beautiful letdown!

...know something?

What I'm doing right now is finding another reason not to finish my thesis! Wtf. Will continue soon as I send my draft. At least I'm done with my final group assignment...speaking of assignments...M,A and F...I think we need a group name. So in the future, I can refer to us as one entity...suuweeet!!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Funny...Or Just Plain Weird?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Well, you know i'm your average university student...I haven't been sleeping at the right hours lately (as if I ever did!) due know, THESIS DEADLINE...ARRRGGGHHHH!

So, it's 6.30 in the morning...i'm skimming through pages of "CGE Model used as an economic forecast of a possible FTA"...and my mind just won't let me read I skip to the next task...Environmental Politics *double yucks*, thank you very much!!! Then I realize, why the hell are there so many bugs in my room? Yes, I do normally leave my windows open 24/7 unless I go home...I need proper ventilation and I hate stuffiness! Ok, the bugs...guess the rain made them seek refuge in my room. Bugs...a variety of little bugs...crawling on the 4 walls that surround me...harmless, i'm sure...but annoying nonetheless!!!

So I get the Shieldtox and kill 'em all!!! Then, I see a whole bunch of them drop dead on my floor...and that's including the mother-effin' bee that's been buzzing around the fluorescent lightbulb!

"YESSSS...gotcha, little biatch!!!" But, wait...

The bug display on the floor can't be left just like that, right? So I start sweeping my whole room floor like the mad girl that I am...moving things here and there, sweeping under the table and's almost 7 in the morning and i'm still not sleepy. So, without thinking twice, I head outside for the mop...and i'm mopping the floor at 6.50 am. Now my room is clean and dust-free...smells great too, since it's the purple Ajax I stole from's much better than the brand I have here.

So story. It's 7.10 and I still don't feel a tad sleepy. Maybe i'll try to finish up this Environmental Policy assignment which I luuuuuurrrvvvveee so much! -_____-

Herein ends the awkward tale of my bug massacre+sweeping+mopping trifecta. Hope you liked it. Thank you and have a nice day.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Some People Should Go Have Some Humble Pie...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The title says it's amazing how some people can be so...I don't know, boastful? Maybe that wasn't how they were making it out to be, but it appears so. Maybe you don't care what people think, but hey...I have a right to an opinion just like you do. AND this is my blog so I can say whatever the hell I wanna say, so there! People nowadays...

We now live in a world where humility is lacking; it is underrated, IMO...but I think it speaks volumes of a person's self-worth when he/she remains humble whenever they gain something. Don't get me wrong, I always feel happy for another person when they get/achieve something that makes them happy...hell, I don't blame you for wanting to tell the whole world coz I would too!

It's when they begin to show a certain attitude about it; that's what gets to me. Why? Because by showing a degree of cockiness, they are lacking gratitude and gaining a huge ego. I don't's not what you say about's HOW you say it. Kinda confusing, but I know you can tell when a person is excited vs. when a person is showing off (while seeming unaware of it) where's the good in that?

I for one would never let my younger sisters be that way...hell, I recommend that you bitch-slap me if you catch me doing that! That'll get me back to Earth! LMAO...

I am lucky...very very lucky because I do NOT have friends like that. Thank you guys for you are the epitome of 'down-to-earth'...

Gratitude...learn it!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Finally I got an answer from the US Embassy!!! It helps...a lot!!!

Thank you God!!! Now I have ample data to complete this shizz... :P

Monday, April 19, 2010

I Really Hate This...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Read: I HATE THIS!!!

I have been really trying my best to MAKE myself complete this thing called a thesis...but I fail as soon as I start! What the hell is wrong with me? I am in an utter mess...all this attempt to lock myself in my room to focus has been utterly far, I have been doing useless stuff like watching movies, playing the bloody rusty-stringed guitar...basically everything except my thesis!!! Heck, I've been reading-up on physics, can you believe it? Epic fail!!! PHYSICS!!! A subject I used to hate while I was studying it!!! OMG...

Please, God...I beg of you...please please please give me the strength to finish this before the deadline...coz it's really driving me up the's not that I can't, the problem is that I won't! I know it doesn't make sense, but that's just it! I won't do it...Ok, I can't understand it myself...

Okok...I guess i'll try again...but God, please be with me this time! Please, please, pretty please?

Speaking of other stuff...I found this treasure of a classic out of AFI's top 10 classic list (SEE WHAT I MEAN???)

It's called 12 Angry Men, a black and white courtroom drama. 12 jurors' need to decide on a boy's life; whether he's guilty beyond reasonable doubt or innocent. It's simply riveting, compelling...remarkable! No wonder it's a classic! It seems like a low-budget film, since the set is rather limited...the story itself is what got me glued throughout the movie. Glad for stumbling upon this gem...I think i'm now gonna try watching more classic movies...the B&W kind!

Other than 12 Angry Men, my other fave classic is It's a Wonderful Life, starring James Stewart. Ahhh, the classic "...everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings" is the kind you tend to keep in your head forever!

So after everything is done (THESIS arrrggghhhh!!!), i'm gonna try to get Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Ben-Hur, Spartacus, etc...Man, if only there was a movie scholar needed...I would certainly die for it!!!

Okaaay...back to reality! Wish me luck...God be with me! Amen.

Friday, April 16, 2010


Friday, April 16, 2010

It's been awhile since we had our sleepovers/slumber party/assignment's fun and I know these are our last days together...for real! So i'm all in for our latest gossips, movies, music comparisons, and more...all while attempting to do this bloody assignment!

K, useless post... -________- kinda lazy to write. Guess i'll save it for the thesis...

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

I Just Love It...

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Been watching the Godfather series (I and II - coz those are the two that matter, hahaha!) again and again...damn, I love it so much!!! The story, the dynamics of the roles...the calculating cunningness of the Dons Corleone...the cinematography...everything!!!

Just watching the rise of Michael to the head of the Cosa Nostra gets me all hooked and stuff...heck, I even disregarded my thesis...fuck!!! Michael starts off as a young buck with no hope of joining in the family business. In fact, he enlists in the Marine Corps, which everyone hates (except Fredo)...but then (to cut things short) he is faced with unavoidable and unexpected circumstances where we witness his rise to power and becomes the new Don by killing all the heads of the other mafia as to avoid being killed himself.

The second one, we now focus on Vito's young days and the current Don Michael Corleone's personal journey throughout the movie...while we see Vito's rise, we also see Michael betrayed and left by everyone he thought highly of...and towards the end, he has no-one...except maybe his kids...and Tom Hagen (one of my favorite characters in the movie).

His wife played by Diane Keaton was boring...blah! But Talia Shire was great as his sister...and so was James Caan as Sonny, Robert Duvall as Tom and also John Cazale as Fredo!!! And who could forget, Marlon Brando as Don Vito...with his stuffed cheeks and unforgettable voice...heck, I imitate the Don all the time (to some friends who are fans as well), hehehe! And lines you hear in the real world...they're all taken from here!!! Believe it, people!!!

In all the 'hits' in both movies, I kinda felt sorry for Fredo...hated that he had to!!! Oh, and the time Sonny gets killed at the!!! The 'hits' I loved were the those which were featured in the final killing montage at the end of Godfather I...a masterpiece I must say!

Now I remembered watching Godfather III, but I can't seem to recall the story...all I can remember is that is sucks...oh, I also remember Andy Garcia...that's it...but hearing that it sucks just gives credibility to my assumption. Hmmmm, I can't remember the movie, but I'm certain that it sucks...LMAO! Wtf... I love Pacino...sue me! He was sooo hot...heck, to me he's still hot!!! Hahahaha, hot old method-man! I totally love his movies...Godfather, Scarface, ...And Justice for All, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Scent of A Woman, Frankie and Johnny, ahhhhh...there's just too many!!! Okok...I love ALL of his movies!!! ALL of 'em...yes...even Ocean's 13 AND Devil's Advocate...hehehe! Angels In America too (he did such a good job in this miniseries!!!)

Ok...was talking about the Godfather...why did I end up talking about Pacino's movie bio? Typical!!!

Monday, April 05, 2010

A Crushed Dream...Or Maybe Not?

Monday, April 05, 2010

Yes, the trip to Paris has been postponed...yes, I am allowed to go...of course! But if it's in November, I can't be certain because I might end up having to work...what kind of job allows a just-hired employee to take 10-days' leave?

I wish I had some luck so that somehow, we can make it...WE; as in ALL of my donc, notre lecons pour la langue francais...c'est pour une visite historique pour notre vivres...I just want it to happen coz I truly believe it will change us somehow...

All this plus the fact that my thesis isn't even done...that's me for ya! Ok, got to keep my priorities in check! Thesis, here I come!!!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

What Is Happening???

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Why is everyone getting married/engaged??? Did I miss something here? I know, I know...we are in our early 20s, and of course...i'm not throwing any sort of judgment whatsoever...but damn! How can it be so many people at the same time? Who are my age!!!

People you never thought would settle down are settling...and I remember exactly how they were when they were much younger...I remember it all! But now, they're going and getting themselves hitched. I don't know why, but I tend to think women give up a lot of their dreams when they marry. Why? Because they will go on and spawn...then, their kids become the priority.

I am in no way saying that you can't achieve anything when you have children...but i'm saying that a small part of you or who you were dies when you hear the cry of your firstborn. You may be much happier than you ever imagined, but that part of you who was a little bit selfish; the good kind, the kind that thinks of their happiness melts away, unveiling selflessness...then, all the dreams you had of reaching your fullest potential will be put in the back burner...

Don't you want to travel the world...experience different cultures...find yourself...reach your limits...go on a high-adrenaline adventure right before going to that place where your new home is to live with your partner with ultimate bliss, knowing that NOW you can be with them, body, mind and soul and have no regrets?

What I am now is scared...scared that I may fall in love, get married, have children...and end up resenting the fact that I didn't chase my dreams or reach my potential. I'm scared for myself...perhaps this is the reason I am so afraid of marriage. Commitment? Well, i'm not that afraid...not unless it leads to marriage...then i'm doomed!

Okay...finally I discover the "why?" to my problem...thank you marriage aka 'mating' season for helping me find the answer!

Now those who are in love or those who are engaged and stuff...please don't take it against me. I'm just saying what I think...after all, this is MY blog...maybe in the future, I would be the one who would have to eat my own words, but for now...this is how my mind is going! Sorry...

Have a great April Fool's Day, everyone!!! ;D