Life's Sick Lil' Games...

Today is the day I graduate...I'm so freakin' scared, and I don't know why! Guess it's because it's the end of a phase in my life.

Ever had that feeling of fear of the unknown, yet a slight hint of excitement follows? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling now. I have finally hit that "SEND" button for 2 job advertisements...and hell, I've been meaning to these past few months, but I've been stalling due to certain wants...

I guess there's no longer a reason NOT to apply now...is there? I'm gonna do it; gonna start looking for a job. I just needed a few months of pure sloth so that I could take a break for awhile, you know?

I know for a fact that I will never be this 'free' anymore once I start...it's gonna be work, work, work and more work! So at least I could say that I've spent time with my family.

The one thing I'm scared about is the ceremony itself...everyone's so caught up with being perfect, I'm afraid I'd stick out like a sore thumb in terms of being under-done! Man...some people are going to salons just to do their hair and makeup...and all I have is my straightening iron!

Hehehe...well, there's nothing left to do...I've taken the odor-horrible robe to the dry-cleaner's and got it cleaned...at least I won't smell like an onion gone bad!!! :P God, I hope I don't forget any necessary items...

For now, all I can do is hope I don't screw-up! And while we're at it...I also wanna have fun!

But most of all...I just wanted to say congratulations to all my friends who are graduating with me coz you know I wouldn't have had such a great journey without you...love you guys and thank you for being my friends and sticking with me all this while despite my flaws.

Hoping we grow into better people is what I really want for all of us...and happiness throughout our lives as well.

Here's hoping we have an awesome graduation!!! Class of 2010, bitches...yeehaw!!!

PS: More emoting still to come...stay tuned!

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I watched Toy Story 3 with my sisters, and I gotta say...despite it being an animation...it really struck a chord...coz friends matter...no matter what you think, no matter how you could handle being alone...they matter. So people who take friends for granted...don't kid yourself!

*SPOILER ALERT*

We see Andy about 10 years since Toy Story 2...he's going off to college and the toys are afraid that they'd never be played with again...and as far as adventures go, they've had a few...and of course, a few toys were left along the way...but we also get to meet new additions...I love the Peas in a Pod Plushies...so friggin' cute!!!

A few parts were hilarious (Buzz in Spanish-mode...Buzz and Jessie ftw!!1)...and many parts were sad and touching. Arrgghhhh...Disney-Pixar should win an Oscar for this story not just because it's flawless in terms of animation, but the storyline affect children and adults in different aspects. That's what great movie-making is all about when it comes to family genres. I'm so happy for the toys...but yeah, you've gotta keep a Kleenex handy for quite a number of instances...the-incinerator part, and the Andy-saying-goodbye part...they damn nearly killed me. My three year old sister (of course) couldn't yet comprehend these parts (wait till she's older...is she in for a surprise!), but my 20-year old sis did...it's just good writing, and you could tell that the creators loved this project! It was projected throughout the movie.

Yes, it's a movie...NOT a cartoon! A grade-A movie!

...of course, you should watch the first two parts of the saga to be able to fully comprehend the movie. The first two are not as 'tug-at-your-heart' as this one though... :P

It's been awhile since I've written here...lot's of things happened, but what I'm writing about is something I'd never thought I'd write till a few years down the road...someone I know very well is getting married...I don't wanna say who since this person told me not to tell anyone just yet...so there!

But...I just gotta say...I feel happy for this person and this person's partner. I've never felt anything much when it happened to other people coz they didn't matter much to me. But since it's happening for someone so close to me, I felt an instant tug at my heart. Fuck, I'm happy but I kinda feel like a parent whose child is going away, or a sibling that's left because all her brothers/sisters have gone off to college...that's EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now. As much as I want us to remain young, we can't...life goes on and we change even if we try not to...people change! And those that matter stay in your life despite all the changes.

Well, the theme for this post is exactly what TS teaches us...despite everything...

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME...or HAY UN AMIGO EN MI (en espanol!)...hehehe! Thank you Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Bullseye, Rex, Mr & Mrs Potato-head, Slinky, Ham (aka Pork Chop), the Aliens and the rest of the gang (you didn't think I'd name them all did you? Lol!)

Toodlez, bitches!

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So what's been happening? Nothing much, really...just a few outings, since I've been starting to get bored at home.

I finally met one of my bestie's bf...and you know what? I guess he's ok. Well, he hasn't spoken that much since the girls did most of the talking. But ok, I shall cease to comment on him. From what I saw yesterday, she was very happy and in love with the guy. So I'll keep my mouth shut...

Well, he did keep teasing her because she was on the plump side...but I told him straight... "Hey, she's a very beautiful girl, and you're damn lucky to have her as your gf..." Hahaha...sorry, I just can't stand guys who talk down on people...he was ok throughout, but I am kinda protective of my friends...

We watched Prince of Persia...and we had a blast! Firstly, because it was your average blockbuster movie which was absolutely fun to watch...it won't win an Oscar, but hell yeah it was fun! And Jake Gyllenhaal was freakin' hot OMG! Hottt!!! The Princess reminds me of a younger Monica Bellucci...right???

Anyway...went to the usual "Where to now?" phase and ended up laughing our asses off at the local mamak joint! Had a blast, and well...sorta got to talking about some stuff and P plans to get a console for her bf...I would definitely go to her house everyday if she bought one...LMAO!

Btw, W...I think I'd prolly give you a hard time for dropping my coke...it'll be a running gag just like the 'anney' aka your boyfriend! Hahahaha...

Today...went shopping to look for stuff for mom...all the 3 and a half women of the house. Baby enjoyed it a lot since we took her to Playland where she got to ride all sorts of...uhhh, rides...and Mom bought her a freaing Buzz Lightyear!!! Hahahaha, mom gives dad a hard time for spoiling her, but she was willing to spend RM 150 for a freaking Buzz!!! WTF...

Thank God I found a smaller-sized one which costs RM60!

K, end of story...

PS: I miss my uni friends...I'm happy there's Facebook and blogs! Phones are so boring hahaha...Take care dears! Please keep on updating your blogs coz I never miss your posts...

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WARNING: Long post!!!

Friendship for me has come a long way. From what I can say, when I was in high school...I felt indifferent towards this concept! I was the quiet one among "The Trio"...yes, they were great! We were always together, we had our good times and we clicked well...but I can't deny that there were times when I felt I didn't belong because they had such different ideals than me. Each couldn't stand NOT getting male attention. They were always going after the boys, and I was left in the lurch. They also didn't like it when boys gave me attention. Although I like boys, I was never boy-crazy...hell yeah I loved admiring and going ga-ga over guys...but I didn't push-away my food when boys came over to talk to me at the table. I didn't lie to my parents to go dating. I didn't do nonsense. And I still don't!

One thing that put me into cynical-mode for some time was this incident:

One of them got herself a boyfriend. She never; not even once, introduced us. I was her so-called 'best friend'...and she never even introduced us after I covered for her all those times...followed her to the phone booth to make those calls to Mr. BF...it's like she didn't acknowledge me at all. After being THAT naive, I realized (someone told me) that she was scared that he'd be attracted to me instead of her...F***!

What? Was she so insecure that she was afraid that I would steal him away or something? As a friend, did she NOT know me? I would never do that to a friend...or even a person for one thing. That's just not who I am! Nobody knows this coz I never told anyone, but I'm finally writing it down...recalling this incident, I feel hurt all over again. My mistake was that I just let it go, pretended I didn't know anything and acted like everything was fine. I can't believe this still affects me...damn!

The current ME would definitely go ape-shizz and go all confrontational towards her, believe me! If the years have thought me one thing; it would be to stand up for yourself and don't sit still and shut up when you feel like you're being wronged!

The final day we said goodbye, I knew in my heart that we would never be the same again...and I was right. The two decided to move in together and fought...because of insecurities...and oh, the main thing...GUYS! Friendship was over between the 2 girls...just like that. How sad...

I emancipated myself by working and exploring other areas...and at work, I've come to find out that I'm more than this "Trio"...I'm finally me! And guess what? I wasn't the quiet one...I realized that I was NEVER quiet, but they were too 'noisy' that my voice disappeared...LMAO!!!

I made great friends when I took my Form 6 (Pre-U) education...but the best was yet to come...

University...it scared the shit outta me!!! I spent my orientation week with my friend from my Form 6 class...and soon enough I made some friends of my own...what can I say? We just clicked! I wouldn't say it was easy, mind you...lol! We did have some confrontations in the beginning, but looking back...I always thank God for helping me find these girls. Guess I was always afraid that I'll be used again. :/

I realized the friends I've made in campus are so different from my supposed best friends in high school...why? Coz they're more like me...family-oriented, they don't judge you by how you seem on the outside...and they don't pressure you to be anyone other than yourself. They believe that beauty is something from within, and material doesn't make who you are. I can say with confidence that these people will be among my lifelong friends...and I'm the type who has been disappointed with those deemed 'besties' in the past. The final day with them I realized that we would be friends always, no matter what (totally different feeling than I had with my high-school buddies.)

Isn't it funny how life works? I'm now best friends with 2 of my primary school friends...my best friends in high school are now 'just friends'-friends, my Form 6 classmates are my good friends, my former-annoying jerk of a classmate is now my friend (and we talks about music and guitars...how weird is that???), and my university besties are my forever-friends...

Well, that's life for you...you meet people, and if you're lucky enough...you become friends. I am lucky to have sincere friends who tell it like it is, not lie or back-stab. I hope God blesses them with nothing but happiness, for though it may seem like I never say it enough...they put my faith back in friendships. Yeah, I was cynical at first...but they proved me wrong!

Therein lies my truth...I love you my dears! Please call me for your weddings, baby showers and such...till we meet, I'll be cherishing our moments in these photographs. :'D

Another truth...never underestimate the practicality of 'layers'. Confused? Ask me...LMAO!

Whew...glad to get that off my chest!

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No...it's not the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry...MAF is an acronym for the coolest and sweetest bunch of peeps I know! LOL!

I'm shamelessly into Tokio Hotel...as you've already been told countless of times, heheh! Indeed, TH is my guilty pleasure!!! Many people think they're lame and stuff like that...my sister despises them, hahahah! But I really enjoy their music for the many reasons I've stated before!

So to think that they bought me TH's latest album for my birthday...it's just so...so...thoughtful! It's the thought that counts ok??? Even if you gave me some cheap mamak-stall lunch for my birthday, i'd still appreciate it...hahahaha! But of course this is waaaaay better! LMAO!

For my part, the moment Munik shoved a little bag onto my hands, I thought..."Awwww, thank you!"

Then I opened it...




...I was speechless for a few seconds, but I said a lot by my actions:

1. Shrieking like a 15 year-old stereotypical bimbotic high school chick
2. Jumping while wearing a kebaya (thank God nobody was around!)
3. Smiling from ear-to-ear; before that I was really in a bad mood

Then M says, "Sorry we couldn't get you any tickets..." Are you kidding? This thing you gave me says a lot ok?

To me, it says "We don't care how lame TH is, we bought it for you coz we know you love them!"

Thank you guys...you know I wanted to get the CD for so long, but never got to a chance to get it. The fact that YOU bought it makes it more valuable to meeee...why? 'Coz it's the sweetest thing!!! You bought it coz you know how much I love TH! That.is.the.sweetest.thing!!! Hahahaha...you girls have to sign it k!!!

Love ya!!!

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It's been awhile since we had our sleepovers/slumber party/assignment night...it's fun and I know these are our last days together...for real! So i'm all in for our latest gossips, movies, music comparisons, and more...all while attempting to do this bloody assignment!

K, useless post... -________- kinda lazy to write. Guess i'll save it for the thesis...

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I learn through my friends and family...their relationships, their experiences. A friend's touching blog entry has only pushed me into writing this post while enhancing my feeling of gratitude...thanks, coco! I only wish for the best for all of you girls. I can honestly say I was (and still am) sincere in being your friend! Imagine if I didn't talk to M on the first day...imagine! My life would've been so different...maybe miserable! I wouldn't have met F...and we wouldn't have met A together!!! We wouldn't have been US!!! *spooked*

After feeling vast amounts of negativity surrounding me in these past few days: after all the conflicts I've witnessed in other circles...after feeling grateful that I do not have to put up with shit-heads like the ones in this list...I have compiled a list toxic people who are not worth your time, effort, and energy.

Do all you can to never associate yourself with people such as the ones listed (if you can!)...

I'm not saying i'm a fantastic person without flaws, of course I am flawed...we all are! But one thing i'm sure of...I do NOT have a cold heart...I can gladly say that I was raised by good people, and I do not have darkness or malice in any of my intentions. I am never fake when it comes to building friendships. Therefore, I would truly be blessed if I do not have to mix with these kinds of people, coz i've seen how it could damage a person.

So, here is MY list of peeps you do NOT wanna waste your time with:

• Fake people who act all nice in front of you, but are heartless, cold, calculating, backstabbing, jealous and manipulative behind your back (this applies to girls, mostly)
• Vain people..seriously the most annoying people in the planet!!! I hate narcissistic people and their self-praising attitudes.
• Show-offs...it's one thing to be good at something and display it...it's another thing to deliberately expose yourself to be living the life of the rich and famous, when you're in fact just one of us...that's just pitiful...leave that fake Prada at home, honey! I don't see rich people doing it...why should you?
  
• People who are jerks/assholes
  
• Guys who are so demanding on having a pretty girl for a gf, when in fact...they're butt-ugly! Same thing for girls...
  
• Guys who want a good, (preferably virgin girl---this is after all, Malaysia) as their wife, but have no qualms fucking any sluts they could find...AND they wouldn't marry one because "they are used goods"! Wtf...are these guys NOT man-sluts???
  
• Guys who are condescending to women
• Guys who are perverts
• Guys who pretend to be a good friend just to get in your pants
• Guys who are rejected...who then claims he left the girl!

Just a few things that get under my skin sometimes...just a few. I'm allowed that luxury, am I not? I speak the truth, like it or not...and maybe some of you would disagree...but this is MY truth! You could of course, offer a few suggestions...this is a medium for expression, so don't be shy! Hehehehe...

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Saw it (normal, not in 3D)...wasn't really impressed with the movie. Rather, it was kind of a bummer coz I expected MORE!!! I dunno, just kinda fell flat...I loved the artistic vision of Tim Burton though...it always is up to his fans' expectations...

Stayne (Crispin Glover; though I'll always remember him as Marty McFly's dad from "Back to the Future") reminds me of a taller, meaner version of Edward Scissorhands...ok, that statement was random!

Man, I loved Edward Scissorhands...it was the ONE movie in which I truly felt the talent Johnny Depp had (he still has it!) as an actor...at the same time, I also fell for Tim Burton's creative and distinct way of telling a story...it was beautiful...and of course, a match made in heaven! So, yeah...my 2 cents' worth on the Burton-Depp partnership!

Which is why, I was quite disappointed with the movie...the storyline, especially...it was rather cliched, but visually stunning...maybe I should just go watch it in 3D, eh?

After the movie, my chums went for the after-movie chill-out session...really took a load off the crappy week that was.

One of the things I love best: Being with my family AND hanging out with the friends...don't know why, I just feel happy afterwards...

Thank you God for giving me such great friends...no matter how we disagree sometimes, I accept all of you for who you are, and I hope that you accept me the way I am too...I pray that we'll always be friends, no matter what the circumstances are.

Hahahaha...I always thank God for family and friends, huh? Well, it's always better to be grateful than bitter...I don't know what the future holds for us all, but at least we had a blast, eh? Man, i'm getting too sentimental for my own good...Lol!

Must be the age...

Oh, and I must remember to write a critique about a snooze-fest of a movie that is "Under the Mountain"...LMFAO!!! Sucks, I tell you...it sucks...balls!!!

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I had my day planned out...convinced myself that i'm ready to learn something today, that I had to let down my sister who I was supposed to accompany to the bank but didn't because I had to go for a class...I reached the place quite early...which is unlike me! Soooo unlike me...then, after half an hour the lecturer says she announced earlier that class was cancelled. WTF!!!

My poor sis! Sigh...and when I was waiting for a message that says, "Class is cancelled!" I got zilch! Damn...waste of all the students' time...imagine those who came from their homes...they have to return the very same day! Damn...

Well, at least I got to hangout with my friends and talk...didn't do that for awhile...

Oh, and I wish my sis knows how grateful I am for she always sends me to campus...hehehehe! Sometimes I just dread all the waiting and pushing while getting into the bloody train. Just appreciate it...and also thanks for lending me what i've wanted to borrow for a long time...at least I won't get soooo bored here anymore! :)

PS: On another note...totally irrelevant to this post...I would like to pray for the people who have lost their loved ones in Haiti...I hope we as a people can rise to the occasion and help our brothers and sisters...well, I know I can't do anything myself, but all I could do is offer my prayers in sincerity...I hope that all the funds sent to the Haitian government will be used for good, rather than be pocketed by the government -- if you know what I mean. It happens all the time...I hope this country would be an exception!

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Right now, i am happy...thank you for this year! It has been wonderful (towards the end) mainly because i am fortunate enough to be with my family...it is the FIRST time the five of us are together...

I don't know why, but i feel like the next year will be just fine. I know i always get a hunch about certain things that may come true...or maybe wishes and thought manifesting into reality...but yeah, i think 2010 is going to be a good year.

I also feel like something good is going to happen to me...don't know why, but i do. Geez, i know it seems crazy, but i don't know why i feel this way. I think i've been reading too many books on self-growth and happiness...i'm finally seeing the silver lining in the things around me.

On another note...

A friend of mine never fails to make me feel like a fool...one minute, that person complains about the bane of having a dickwad for a partner...the next minute...back with the said jerk. I mean what the hell, right? Please don't go asking me shit if you're not gonna get it...it just pisses me off how you could let a person treat you like shit. Love is not blind...if you love yourself enough, it should open your eyes.

Ok, done with that moment of toxic negativity...yes, it is bloody toxic...and i shall leave it right now and never open up about this again. You wanna talk about stuff like this with me again, i'll give you a piece of my mind just like i did before...and you may or may not repeat the cycle. People can claim they love you...but if you don't start loving yourself...you may never see the truth.

Funny how i just feed you with oxymoronic themes, eh? Well, these are just my 2 cents worth...you don't have to agree. I'm just sayin'...

To a good year ahead...cheers! Salut! Toodlez, bitches!

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With all the whining and bitching I've done...I've never taken for granted the thing that matter most in my life; my health, family and friends...and with all that's been said and done, I've come to appreciate myself the way I am...sure, I'm flawed just like any human being...but i have come to terms with it...heck, I'm not ashamed to say that in the past few years I've grown to love myself more...guess that counts for a few things, eh? Like knowing we deserve better, or not letting people mistreat you, etc...

So for the year 2009...my grateful attitude is for the following:

• The greatest, coolest most supportive parents any person could ever have (I've certainly had my fair share of complaints in the past, but you guys have been great ever since i was born! I thank God everyday for being in this family...and i will love you always!)

• The bestest best friends a girl could ever have...you know who you are...old friends, college friends, friends you just meet under circumstances, strangers you just happen to have a short conversation with...you've all somehow affected me once upon a time...and I'll never have it otherwise!

• My unbelievable luck -- I mean, damn! All the stuff I've got, the things I've done, the people I've met...it's all unbelievable when you look back...and i will say for sure; there's more experiences to be experienced, more lessons to learn, more people to meet, etc...

• ME -- coz there could NEVER be another ME...i could never be replicated. I am special and unique...just like YOU...a paradox, I know...but I kinda like it! We are all special…I am so full of imagination, and i can't picture my life any other way than my very own sitcom-cum-drama with theme songs to each circumstance...or being super curious about something totally out of context to any part of your life…and I’m also glad I’m the type that goes ahead and learns what I want to know…like French, or playing the guitar…the piano…karate! HTML codes? Well, that’s something in progress…I did search for tutorial sites and such. My bestie says it’s easy-peasy…so I’m already half-done! ;) For my next steady paycheck, I’m gonna go learn how to salsa! Ay, caramba!!! Can’t wait…

• My buffer zone...yes, some would say this is a bad thing...but no! I would keep this quality coz only then, you discover your TRUE friends…truly special people would see me the way i really am...a dorky, geeky, crazy-ass weirdo who's funny, moronic, neurotic, good at freaking out and a stupid genius...muahahahahaha!!! Coz some people make assumptions…and who wants to be friends with people like that…best save these qualities for those friends who are real keepers.

• My love for music, movies and TV. I've said it many times...i can't live without music! Heck, i think my first post ever was about music...if i'm not mistaken! How can we humans have life any other way? I love Rock, yes...all types of Rock, but I've always had an eclectic taste, ranging from Classical music to Jazz, Reggae, Oldies, Pop, Acoustic, Electronica, Big Band Swing, R&B, Rap…and yes, even Flamenco (think Gypsy Kings, baby)! Movies? Well, go figure! I’m a sucker for action-packed movies (Rocky!!! Eye of the Tiger, baby!) as much as I am for tear-jerkers (It’s A Beautiful Life, Life Is Beautiful, The Notebook) and romance…and of course, Chick-flicks and Disney cartoons & fairytales! Ahahahahah…I’m truly a sucker for fairytales; they never fail to put a huge smile on my face! True favorites are aplenty, ranging from classics to totally stupidly funny and corny movies (think White Chicks and Zohan). God bless the entertainers!

Thank you God!

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So about the emo post...had a talk with my besties, and sure enough: they are isolating us! Hah! We unanimously isolate you too, bunch of fucktards! I actually don't know who to pinpoint this so-called conspiracy to, but i've always said i didn't belong here in this university...and I always always always thank God for the friends i've made here...coz life here without them would've been so different. Now, looking back at all the stupid things we've done, all the things we're about to endure in our lives...it sorta gives me a moment of sadness+excitement.

I've learned about their secrets, their dreams and i've met their families...truly a blessing for me. And no matter how different i was and am, they never made me feel lost or out of place. And here we are, nearing the penultimate semester...and i'm so freaked out, but i'm so sure we are ALL going to be okay.

I'm proud to say that we all have great upbringing, great tutelage from our parents and we are family-oreinted individuals who will make it in this world. Yes, we never did excellent in our education, heheh...but what are we striving for, really...is not our academic goals...it is much more than that. We are more than our CGPAs...we are people who are on a journey to self-discovery...and no matter what we achieve--strip all our materialistic gains, and your real treasures are your loved ones...

Therefore, i post this before i start on my IL reading (which is much too late, LOL!), Just thought i might build up our egos a little...i'm actually pretty good at motivating others...myself, nope! But yes, i meant everything i said!

I'm also trying to cut back on the TH songs which kinda affects me tremendously (the slow ones make me wanna cry and the fast ones make me wanna head-bang)...it's actually bad to listen to their songs while reading your books...ich bin distracted! Ach mein gott!

Good luck to all of us...we shall tread the waters together! And one more thing--> One more day till partial freedom!!! Woohoo!!! (I say partial because we still have our thesis...booo!!!)

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I had a blast chillin' in my friend F's kampung during the weekend...she invited us, "les filles" to her kenduri (Malay feast or celebration). So, what else? We went along...of course before going, M pulled a huge prank on me, makin me turn back towards home. She said i had to go alone, as she couldn't make it. Yeah, turning back, she said it was a joke. F***!!! I was pwned!!! Hahahaha...and yes, my sis got mad coz she had to send me to UKM and she was in a bad mood. LOL!!! Okaaaay...

The next step...the trip! Was not very long, but it was long? How's that? Hahahah, i dunno how to explain...

We made a pit stop to eat and stuff, then took a bus to F's place. It was OK coz we were doing nothing but talking and shit like that...hehehe!

Then, upon reaching, we met her parents and sister...what a bunch of great people... :)

First time her dad smiled at me, i did my 'gelabah' reaction...because i saw F when he smiled, and of course, i freaked M out...heheheheh!!! It was funny...they look so alike--when they smile!!! ZOMG...LOL!!!

F's mom made us feel at ease the moment we stepped into their huge, beautiful home...and her sis cooked us dinner! :D

The next day, I experienced first hand...the Malay-Muslim custom of prayer and feast...the kenduri. Witnessed how they interact, pray, etc...and sure, people thought i was a Malay...and they thought i didn't know how to pray, hehehe...coz i was with them while they were reading the "Yassin"...and yes, i got puzzled and perplexed looks...LOL! I don't really care though...coz I got to watch this joyous occassion...

After all was done, I took a nap, hehehe...then M saw me, and she followed suit...copy-cat! LOL...F's parents were nice enough to bring us along for a long evening drive which i loved...saw their land, their shop, and of course, more...then, had our dinner of yummy kenduri leftovers...*Om nyom nyom!!!*

Went to sleep once we came home, but not without me panicking coz i saw some white worm-like creature on my foot, in which i screamed loudly while M, F and me were relaxing...i performed the bicycle and attempted to wipe-out that creature on the carpet-->instead, i kicked M with my feet moving in circular motion, and she also freaked out and performed the bicycle...in the end, we looked like 2 upside-down tortoises, moving our feet above like we were riding a bicycle...OMG, just writing about this makes me laugh...it didn't help that i wanted to pee...thank God i went to the bathroom in time...Damn! Hahahahahahah...

Of course, there's more to be said about this...many omitted activities coz there's just too little time and i'm feeling kinda lazy, lol! But all in all...I HAD A BLAST!!!

Too bad A couldn't attend...she was so afraid we'd be mad, but we're not...would've been better if she had come though...and she attended the MTV Worlds Stage concert...*sobs* in which i'm super jealous coz she got two see cool awesome bands...the AAR, Hoobastank and Kasabian!!! :'(

Fit's parents were nice enough to take us for brekkie this morning before classes, and they dropped us back to UKM...well, we thank them wholeheartedly for their hospitality...and i hope we could meet again in the future...maybe for F's wedding with El-Arabi? Hahahaha, ZOMG! Sorry, couldn't help it...

For me, the one thing is...in each friendship i have, it's sincere...no fake stuff for me, please.

My friends and I, we all have our inside jokes...cues to laughter, i would say. That's what makes it real to me...the old ones (you're not old, you guys just happen to be by oldest friends ok? Hehehe...), the current ones, the ones i've met in passing...none of it was/is fake. That's why they know the real me and vice versa.

Thank you God for my wonderful friends...i know once we graduate, maybe we'll drift apart in our own ambitions, but the memories we created will never be erased...and we will always, one way or another be connected even though we're apart...even now, my childhood friends remain connected with me, and i hope i get to maintain all of these circles...

Wow, quite an ending...an ode to friendship! I always talk about my love for my family, but this one on friends, not so much...so here it is, in all it's glory...*shout out to my friends reading this!!! Have great week, y'all!*

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Yesterday...i splurged again!!! Oh man...must stop spending!!! If this continues i shall be broke by the end of the month! Arrrgghhhh!!!

So my friends and i have been going out since we started classes, and in a way it's good coz we often have a blast, but we are getting more and more greedy in a sense that we buy stuff we don't need. This is no laughing matter...but it's fun when you're in that whole adrenaline-pumping shopping mode.

And another thing...i hate procrastination...but that's what i do. And after thinking about it, i'm taking matters into my own hands! Hahahah, yeah baby...i'm gonna do whatever i planned to do one step at a time...but of course, i'll do it within reason. So this Monday, i'm goin' on a sponteneously planned outing to the place where all of us can act stupid for a few hours...hopefully, the weather would be cool and fine coz we bought tickets already! Hahaha...

We bought the tickets yesterday, and went shopping again! *gasps* Then, we bought one of my latest obsession...Kripy Kreme's original glazed doughnuts!!! Heaven...especially while it's warm...*drools* I remember when i bought it for the 1st time...i thought a dozen was too many...after taking my first bite, i knew...i knew it wasn't enough! LMAO!!! Now i know how Homer Simpson feels...

I'M SUCH A PIG!!! LOL!

And today...i spent the day chatting with my oldest bestie...we had a fun time catching up, and she wishes that we could go back in time. Yeah, it would be great to look back, but i'm actually lookin' forward to see what the future holds. So i have no regrets about any part of my past. It made me who i am...

And yesterday, while my buddy-buds were having dinner, i told M i envisioned her marrying an older man...someone who knows how to treat a lady. She was lovin' it coz she's into older gentlemen...hehehe! Then she told me that she saw me with a hot-bodied hunk, but i would wear the pants in the relationship coz i will be the one who gets the flowers coz he would be the 'girl' and a crybaby, and i would be the one to comfort him...then the laugh fest began!!! Coz that sounds like me...ROFL!!!

F, on the other hand would be with a super-duper religious man, sporting a beard! Hahahaha...then she would act all wise and religious, but when we come for a visit, she'll be her 'real' self...and start acting all rough and unladylike! We literally laughed like fools!!! And last but not least, A would end up with a super-cute funny geek with emo hairstyle, just like the vocalist of her favorite local rock band! OMG...this is fun! The F had to spoil it all and differ M's opinion...she said i would end up with a religious Chinese nerd...LMAO...and somehow i said, "You know...you're right!"

I can't believe how much i'm LOL-ing at this as i write...and now i shall end it with this: I LOVE YOU GUYS...Uni would be so diferent without you. In the future, i will definitely look back at moments like this and say, "Those were some fun times..."

Regardless of whoever we each end up with, i pray that we all be happy in life, and achieve whatever dreams we have...AMEN!

Oh, i forgot...i saw these monster doll-like creatures in Mid Valley and couldn't help wanting to take pics with them...till my they got mad and rushed me into taking pics...i wanted to take the ones on display, that 2 guys pushing a toddler (in a pram) actually laughed at me...i even almost crashed into the pram coz i didn't realize he was there...LOL! They are some cute-looking monsters, ok? But i only got a few...too bad!

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So far, you must forgive me for my boring 'vacation' so far...it is super-duper lame, LMAO! But, i see a silver lining. It makes me appreciate life outside of home more...i tend to be more outgoing while at uni...don't know why...but i am! I think it's an energy-field thing. I don't get good energy at home...maybe it's the feng shui outta whack or something! LOL...but that's just me!

Looking forward to meeting my family...OMG, the days draw near, and i'm excited but scared. What if it becomes a crappy holiday? But i must keep my optimism in check! MUST keep the optimism in check!

When i come back...there are plans that need to be fulfilled...like my promise to cook for my friends...vacay with my girls...trip with my sis (not confirmed)...clubbin with some pals (i must go this time!!!)...movies, movies, movies...hanging out with my besties more often...

See? These plans MUST happen, or i'll give myself a kick in the ass!

Another thing...i saw his profile on facebook...OMG! He's a friend of my friend...Hahahaha...but yeah, i think he's graduated already, so no chance of bumping into him any time soon...too bad! All we ever did was talk and the whole "i-peek-at-u, u-peek-at-me" sorta thing...yeah, so if it's not meant to be, i'm not counting on that.

And what do you know? Many of my classmates are feeling nostalgic nowadays...i'm lovin' it! Catching up after the years is something fun! I contacted my former besties on Facebook, and i would say, we've all moved on...which is pretty nice. Well, them together-- not so...

I, however am glad that i still can say i keep in touch with them, lol!

Wow, seeing most of them...my classmates...is like, wow! Hahaha, sorry, that's all i can say. They're all so grown up...most of them are abroad, studying...and i'm here, in a measly public uni...hahaha! No regrets though...it's still the cheapest education you could get...so i'm set! The whizzing off to another country thing...i'll save it for later, and i'm certain i will achieve it!

And so, the next sem...must start on thesis!!! Yuxx...

To friends who have hopes, dreams and ideals...never give up on them, coz whatever it is...GOD can dream bigger dreams than you ever could for yourself! Oprah said that, and look where she is now! Keep that in mind, and dream on...and while you're at it, dream BIG! Love you guys...you make my life a sweeter place to live in! May you live long and prosper (i'm not a trekkie!)

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Yesterday I was supposed to pay my mom's credit cards...but it didn't happen coz my mom failed to mention i was to withdraw 1.7k from my acc that she banked in...wtf? My bank doesn't let me withdraw more than a thousand okay? Epic fail for the night!

So what did me and my sisters do? We went up the hill near the neighborhood...baby fell asleep...LOL! EVERYTIME we get into a car at night, she sleeps...hahahaha! My other sis and I didn't wanna go home, see? My dad went to teach and usually gets home around 11pm. So, you know how we are...as long as we get the chance to get the hell out of the house even for awhile...WE WILL DO SO!

So up the hill we drove...and boy, we saw a house - a big, beautiful, cozy and spacious house! My sis and I looked at each other and both said, "One day..." in unison! Lol...sigh...coz life ain't grand right now. All i do now is wish for the days to get better for us all. I know we aren't the only ones having hard times...most families are. So i won't go into much detail there.

Anyway, we saw the great view of KL...of course, with her towers of glory...my sis had an idea to take pics of the city lights in motion...so i took one on my phone...and so, behold:



Looks like some festival, huh?

What else...ooh, discovered that this old friend of mine had some guy problems, and all i could think of was "What???" Damn, girl...u should not fall THAT easily! I mean, you barely know the person. I still wonder...How? How? And I warned her not to be too forward or persistent in going after the person...you might scare the poor guy...sigh, the lengths some girls go through...but she did anyway!

I sometimes wonder how in the world do we remain close when we have different minds? Lol...variety is the spice of life, right? Well, all i can say is, i did my part...AND if you need me, i'm still here to support you! No matter how secretly disappointed i am of you, i'll still support you...no question about it!

To anyone who feels like crap...hang in there and be sure u find peace...i'm guessing it's a period of tough luck, hard times, and shit loads of bullcrap...What can you do? Look at the stars, feel the breeze of the cool night air, hear the sound of the rain...or the waves on a beach, cook for yourself, hear some great music to soothe your soul...be alone with your thoughts to ponder on life's wonders...cherish the things you have, and say "Fuck you and goodbye!" to the toxic people around you, Lol! These are just a few of many things you could do.

Now mind you, once i find that a friend needs some solitude, i respect and will do just that. I do that too sometimes! :) Solitary confinement helps...

So i wish you luck in attaining inner peace and pure bliss!

Song i'm listening to right now is an old favorite...but it seems to me that it's quite relevant in todays' freakish situation: Hurt by NIN. Man, i still wish i could go see NIN in concert! Thus, one of the shittiness of being broke!

Damn, i've had it with talking about fiscal issues!!! I've had it! So i'd better go before i talk more about it!

Toodlez, bitches!!!

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Yes it does! Really...thank God for friends who care. If I didn't have any, i would have been f***ed a long time ago. Just a few posts ago I said that my schedule no longer clashes, and yet here it is...

INDEED IT DOES CLASH...BIG TIME!

After explanations, explanations and more explanations, finally I get some peace. Friends backed me up, and now I am allowed to be tardy...which is rather uncommon! Hahaha...but still, this gives me a rather uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Yeah, sure I'm happy...but I feel a sense of guilt. Imagine, coming in 30 minutes late, when everyone have already done their job, talked about a topic, etc. Everyone else will stare...Damn!

So there it is, not even a day gone by, and i'm already f***erized by the system.

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No, hell hasn't frozen over...

Just that i'm in an anxious mood right now. It's the moment of truth...my future, my imminent present...which university or college shall I be selected for?

I must admit, throughout the months after high school, or what i'd call the 'waiting period', i've had a few dilemmas...i didn't want to be selected into a government university...although that's what thousands of Malaysian students are fighting for...

I'd lost faith in the government, and opted not to work for the Foreign Service due to the preferential treatment of a certain race...and instead started dreams of working in the media, journalism, PR, writing, etc...

I didn't save money throughout my working period due to expenses, and the new sister needs some stuff...which I offered to purchase instead of my parents...now, i'll have to ask them for money when I start my studies...shit!

I was contemplating which college I would go for...a Plan B in case I wasn't selected! Boy, what a cynic i've become! I hate that i'm such a pessimist...it all stems from constant disappointments in my life; when I hold out for something, it turns out differently. I don't even believe in falling in love anymore!

I'm happy with my family, but...i've never seen any of my friends for a long time, and I miss them so much! These friend are but a few, but they're the ones i'd keep forever! (Sure, I do have a lot of friends, but they're not the BFFs i'm referring to...)

And now, I shall change for the better...a better daughter, a better student, a better friend, a better human being! Lastly, may I regain the bubbly personality, the belief in romance, in good, sincere people, in optimism...without seeming too philosophical about the simple things in life!

Good luck, me!

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So yesterday was my birthday...as usual, I was broke, so I couldn't do anything. Went out with my family to buy a camcorder. Got us a good one.

Dad bought me a cake from Secret Recipe, cheese-chocolate cake...yum!

Sang me the birthday song, even if I didn't want them to. Mom asked Dad to pray (God knows why, for some reason...) Dad thanked God for his wonderful family, two daughters...I almost cried, but then I tried to cover up by saying "OK, I thank God for the best parents in the world", in the most cheerful manner, I wished a wish (secret!) and blew the candles; 2 big ones.

Oh, God! I'm 20!!!

Went to bed feeling all warm and fuzzy, thanked God in a prayer, and I lay in deep slumber...

Thanks for the warmth I felt on my 20th birthday...even without all the glitter, the money, the things...I was happy to be where I was! I love my family and friends; many of my friends wished me at midnight, midmorning and midday...and at night too...thank you guys! Wish I had a party, but it's not exactly the right time, now is it? Next year, babes, next year! Let's celebrate our 21st year in Vegas...or Genting would also suffice! ;-)

Wish you could all see me giving y'all a shoutout, but...y'all don't know I have a blog now, do ya? (Except you, of course...nightfox!)

God bless!!!

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