Life's Sick Lil' Games...

Who dat?

Let me start from the beginning...

Yesterday...as usual, I took the bus, which meant that I had to walk very very far to get home, as the nearest stop is around 3-4 kilometres away. I didn't mind that...in fact, I loved walking!

Now, that wasn't the problem. The problem was, some motherfucker tried to snatch my freakin' handbag!!!

He was on his motorcycle. I was facing the traffic, so I could see "any villains" who even try to do anything to me! Meanwhile, this motherfucking asshole came from the back, as the place had no people, no cars...(as it was raining...)

He tried...boy, did he try! Alas, he didn't get my bag, as it was hooked on my "manly" arms (remeber previous post? Lol!)

But, what if I fell and hit my head on the pavement, like all the other snatch cases, huh? I got his plate number, but it was useless...I went to the police station with my dad, hoping that the number would at least save other lives...after checking it out, they discovered it belonged to a Pajero!

WTF? A truck? Then, they explain that thefts like these are all the norm, and they can't do anything...they said I was lucky nothing got stolen. I said, I was lucky to be alive...and indeed I was! There are so many cases like this where the people die of a coma or head trauma coz they got dragged or they hit the pavement. Although I love my stuff (mp3 player), I would let go of it if it meant my life...

So? What do I do now?

I'm gonna thank God, and my guardian angel for having been protected from this jerkoff...and pray that he gets caught so that others won't get hurt, or worse...

And you know what else? The day before, my mom warned me to give up my belongings in case a snatch thief tries to take it...in my head, I was thinking "Great, tomorrow, something like that is gonna happen!"...and what do you know? That happened!!! Sigh, I knew I was psychic! Lol...

I made a joke that the thief lost to a girl...what a stupid thief to work alone...a stupid thief who fucked-up/botched his job...AND my dad scolded me of making light of the situation. I mean, what else can I do, right? I thank God, then I make fun of it, coz that's how I handle things...with humor!

My arm is now black and blue from the bag-pulling force...

BTW, my lovely bag got hurt...reeeeeal bad!!!

Comments (1) Full article

What's up, you ask?

Sometimes I don't even know how the hell i'd answer that question. Life can get so hectic, busy, great atone particular moment, and then...it'll be one stagnant routine of nothingness! That's what's happening now!

My work has taken a rest, as the key programmer is arranging vids and shit like that. Meanwhile, i'd have to wait for the finished results to go on with my work...and so, I wait!

My social life is still blah...still single and available, still idealizing that i'd meet a hot TV character (Peter, Denny, Mohinder, Isaac...), and we'll have a great life together! :'(

Arrrgh, I think I have bipolar disorder!!! One minute, i'm on top of the world, and the next...i'm pissed at the world for letting me be trapped in dull loneliness!

I can't go out and do something, as I need something to do things, right? You can't be broke, alone and expect to have fun here and there, go on shopping sprees, hangout with friends...

Guess, i'll have to wait for something good to come!

Arrrggghhh!!!!!!!!

Comments (0) Full article

Whoa, it has been a long time since my last post!

What can I say, i've been busy...finally passed the slope test on my second try! Yes, right on the yellow line, lol! Without further money-wasting classes since the last test I took! The slopes are merely luck, in my opinion...plus, the cars they use are fuckin' unmaintained, yo! WTF? The gear won't budge, the clutch won't work, but thank God, I can finally have a driver's license...I passed the driving test the first time, so...

**A FLASHBACK...**

While mom was in the hospital, and dad was outstation, I took my sister for a ride in mom's car...LOL! Hey, she asked me to! So, we went to the mall, went to the bank...

When mom asked how we managed to run errands, we say we walked...and give each other a knowing look! Hehe...

**THE PRESENT**

Baby is cute! So frickin' cute, everyone keeps hoggin' her! Aarrrghhh, they say i'm too rough on her, then they say I shouldn't carry her with my tough-guy arms! Then I say "Whaaaaa???"

Yes, peeps! After lifting 5lbs of dumbells a few times a week, my arms now look muscular, which is NOT what I was goin' for! I was goin' for toned arms, not muscular! FUCK...I look like Angela Basset in that Tina Turner movie...I must stop A.S.A.P.!

Other than that, I'm flat broke, coz I keep 'helping' my family with a few expenses...have to wait till my next paycheck till I can go watch Pirates and etc with my pals...hope mom and dad lets me take the car!

I'm fuckin' busy at work now...loads of videos to edit! I'm very happy about this!

College? I don't know where yet, but I have to wait till June to see where destiny takes me...Government university, or private college...

So, that's all for now! Stay tuned for the next post!

Toodlez, bitches!!!

(I'm kinda happy today...)

Comments (0) Full article

I forgot to add this:

This morning, I was to get to work by the bus...that was not the problem for me; all of us were in such a fuckin' rush...my dad had a gig somewhere far away, so I had to help load all the stuff into the car...and what do you know, I wore slippers...and, I forgot to switch into my shoes...yup, I did!

I ony realized this shit after I was taking a seat in the bus...

...that's great, just FUCKIN' GREAT!!!

Now, as i'm typing, i'm wearing slippers...I only thank God the dress code here is casual, but still, it's embarassing to go around town in slippers...seems kinda bummish, rather than boho-chic!

I've taken a half day's work...around 1pm-2pm, i'll be going to visit mom and hopefully, the babe. I hope and pray that everything goes well!

Comments (0) Full article

Indeed, the days DO pass quickly...just yesterday we found out mom was pregnant...just yesterday, I was that naive girl who thought I will always be the bubbly, cheerful gal, with a great life...just yesterday!

What I found out throughout the years is suffering, disappointments, sadness...they come with life, as a package deal. However, with the bad, comes the good, right? I sure hope so. It seems when i'm most confident at achieveing something, a huge pile of disappointments comes along. My grades, my social life, my attitude...and i'm just 20!

I want to be someone better...and I sure hope I can, coz i've experienced a lot for someone my age. Now, all I want to do is to go to college and excel at it, make 'em proud of me, help take care of my baby sibling, and then, maybe serendipitously, find someone who'll accompany me in my life's journey.

I've been all by myself, I just don't know how to be with anyone...but i'll try if the right man comes along. Maybe it's karma for turning down the guys who liked me...who knows? I'm sure i've hurt them, but you can't clap with one hand, right? They were nice guys, but I just wanted them to be friends, and they couldn't handle that.

At least I was up front about it...no games, no leading-ons. I'm happy about that! Just that maybe I wasn't ready, wasn't attracted...you can't force thing like these.

Sigh, maybe i'm being punished...but I STILL ain't gonna settle for what I don't want! I'll know it's right when I feel it...

Isn't that what love's supposed to be?

(I've somehow strayed from the title! Lol!)

Comments (0) Full article

I have a throbbing head!!! It's like i've got dumbells resting on my head, and it won't get off! I'm in my office, so I don't have any paracetamol...wtf!!!

Coffee didn't help...

Other than that, tomorrow is the big day!!! I'm fuckin' scared for my mom and the baby...tonight, my sister, dad and I shop for baby clothes...all together now, "Awwwww........"

Please, God, let them both be OK...

Amen!

Comments (0) Full article

I've been busy these past few days...it's been fun!

I love it when i'm busy, coz it keeps me from thinking about how I have a dull life.

Well, when I think, I think big! My imagination goes wild! Then, I say to myself, why can't my life be larger than my dreams?

Coz then, i'd be really fulfilled...not that i'm so utterly miserable, just utterly bored, coz I know my life could be better! Definitely!

In my imaginary world, I have a great boyfriend, a great social life, a great duplex in the city...I go out to dine with my great family (which I have in real life---thank God!), then go on to party with friends...

There's more, much more...but i'll keep the rest to myself.

-Fin-

Comments (0) Full article

Yep, couldn't think of a more catchy title...

This is my TGIF post:

Today, my boss (who's a friend of my parents) asked me to take home his iBook for my mom...she translates Tagalog movies into English. Since she would be bored in the hospital, why not do something to pass the time, no?

Okay, the thing is heavy...it is! BUT, for my mom, I will...I call her cellphone, and turns out the docs let her out. I thought she shouldn't? Meh, what the hell, i'll take it home anyway.I'll take the train (two of 'em!), and hop in a cab from the station.

Alright!

Today, I had some subtitling/editing work to do, and i'm happy about that!

TGIF!

Comments (0) Full article

• A great job that I love
• A wonderful family and great friends (DONE!!!)
• A great boyfriend who loves me, and I love him back
• A wonderful education, up to PhD level
• To travel the world
• To meet influential people
• To help the children of Africa
• To help Malaysia get rid of blatant racial bias, or what they call "Affirmative Action"; which should actually benefit the minorities, not the majority!
• To become an influential person---power, grace and kindness; the kind of beauty that I want
• To make my family proud, and repay them for all their selflessness
• All of the above

How nice if for once, I can achive some things that I really want...I have been given a beautiful family and great friends, but others, not so much.

I hope it happens, though...I can't keep asking God...this, I have to do on my own!

Comments (0) Full article

Am I a realist or an idealist?

I just can't seem to answer this freakin' question...I ALWAYS admit to people that i'm a realistic person, and I live in a realist mindset...and yet, I imagine a different life during my spare time!

Let me tell you, my imagination is so huge, I look at someone and create their life's story. Sometimes, i'd think of meeting the right man, falling in love, having a blast, getting married, having kids, achieving ambitions, supporting my parents, my new family, then dying...

You would think that's it, but I think of everything in between as well, Lol...My imagination...sigh! This, I see as a gift, coz without it, I'd be stuck in a rut, not knowing how i'll escape.

All these factors make me sum this up;

My imagination rocks! Thanks, God!

-A pointless post, but mehhh, whatever!-

PS: Oh...about my broken heel yesterday, I walked like a drunken sailor with a per for a leg!

Toodlez!!!

Comments (0) Full article

Oh shit, my new shoes...the right heel's sole came out! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How am I gonna walk now?

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments (0) Full article

What's with me, that I can fall for half the cast of Heroes, Denny from Grey's Anatomy (RIP...I don't want you to die next week, but you sure will! Noooooooooo.........poor Izzie!) and a whole bunch of other fictional characters on TV and movies, but I can't feel anything for guys in real life?

TV has ruined men for me!

Why and how can I be fooled into thinking that men are as nice, and kind, and hot as they are in the 'idiot box'?

Man, my standards are so way up there! But fuck it, I love TV!!!

Let any men challenge the charming Denny Duquette, and i'll be all yours!

Why can't I like the guys who like me? I wish I could, but I can't...I just don't like them!

It's unfair, I know...you think I like doing this? You can't force someone to love you, jackass!

Comments (0) Full article

One thing I do nowadays is watch stand up comedy on YouTube...it's one one my favorite things, stand up comedy...my mom once told me that I should try to become a comedienne...but then again, I guess my mom is my biggest fan!

The best comic ever is, of course the undisputed legend; the one and only Richard Pryor!

Man, watch his shit, and you'll literally ROFL...i'm freakin' serious! Though be warned, his stuff contains derogatory remarks for you sensitive people...but, then again, why watch if you're so freakin' touchy?

Others are (though not even close to the legend!) ok, the usual peeps; Rock, Lawrence, Murphy, Carlin, Sykes, etc...

They're all a blast when you're bored, to be honest! But now that i've seen all of Pryor's vids, what am I to do? Noooooooooooooo!!!

Comments (0) Full article

OMG, this past few days all i've been doin' is watching TV...it's sick dude! The E! Entertainment Channel's finally in Malaysian satellite TV; Astro.

So, you know i'm a gossip-junkie...I read gossip blogs, mags...now I have it all on TV! Fuckin amazing, y'all!

I guess i'm better at history lessons of Anna Nicole Smith, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, Jennifer Aniston than the history of the Malaccan Sultanate (which is utterly a bore!). Oh, man, i'm such a freaktard!

Man, it's so pathetic! I ain't proud of this, people!

This is just my confession.

Now, if only they get back NBC...(Heroes...PRIMETIME!!!)

Amen.

Comments (0) Full article

Yo, so I couldn't wait for the whole five years into the future thing on Heroes...I vow to NOT watch it online...why?

Because this episode would only be given the justice it deserves if I watch it on a large, clear, HD screen! In other words, i'll have to wait for it on Astro.

However, due to my impatience, i've found out that Peter Petrelli is the alternate exploding man, which initially was supossed to be...you guessed it: Sylar! And the reason he painted that painting of a "darker Nathan" was because he became Nathan (after killing Candice and acquiring her power of shape-shifting!) as the president.

There's a scene between Sylar and Peter which was cool (looking at the screencaps, courtesy of Rickey.org), as Peter's slicked hair and black get up looked like Neo in the Matrix...pretty cool! And who would've thought that future Hiro would be the katana-wielding terrorist that he is...cool! And Jessica is no more...Niki still is Niki, but now she's a stripper...and she kissed Peter. HELL NO!!! Micah, D.L., Ando...they're all dead in this universe...NO!!!

Yep, that's all I can say regarding this episode of Heroes...COOL! May present day Hiro save the day, and alternate the future. Yattaaaaaa!!!

...dude!

Comments (0) Full article

So yesterday was my birthday...as usual, I was broke, so I couldn't do anything. Went out with my family to buy a camcorder. Got us a good one.

Dad bought me a cake from Secret Recipe, cheese-chocolate cake...yum!

Sang me the birthday song, even if I didn't want them to. Mom asked Dad to pray (God knows why, for some reason...) Dad thanked God for his wonderful family, two daughters...I almost cried, but then I tried to cover up by saying "OK, I thank God for the best parents in the world", in the most cheerful manner, I wished a wish (secret!) and blew the candles; 2 big ones.

Oh, God! I'm 20!!!

Went to bed feeling all warm and fuzzy, thanked God in a prayer, and I lay in deep slumber...

Thanks for the warmth I felt on my 20th birthday...even without all the glitter, the money, the things...I was happy to be where I was! I love my family and friends; many of my friends wished me at midnight, midmorning and midday...and at night too...thank you guys! Wish I had a party, but it's not exactly the right time, now is it? Next year, babes, next year! Let's celebrate our 21st year in Vegas...or Genting would also suffice! ;-)

Wish you could all see me giving y'all a shoutout, but...y'all don't know I have a blog now, do ya? (Except you, of course...nightfox!)

God bless!!!

Comments (0) Full article

Yes, I do complain about my family giving me a hard time, but who's family doesn't? I love 'em to death, and I am so fortunate as to have the most responsible, harworking and caring pair of parents in the world. I don't come from a rich family, but heck, I thank God every day that we are not deprived of food, clothing, and shelter.

Watching Idol Gives Back makes me realize the true horror that is sickness and death among families in Africa; AIDS, HIV, malaria. The suffering they go through, the depravity...such a dark place for all. And yet, what are the African government doing with all the money raised by entertainers throughout the years? What happened to the millions from Band Aid, Live Aid...now, what will happen with the money from Idol Gives Back?

I sure hope that the money is allocated to the people of the African continent, and not to heads of the gov...coz you know what'll happen. The rich get richer, and the poor...you know the drill!

Come to think of it, in all the decades of funds raised, the only time things really worked was if you, a donor went there and saw things through...like Oprah did with building the schools, giving gift to the children personally, and many other stuff like that. That is the smartest thing to do! Watch where your money goes...

At least people are starting to care about Africa. If only I had the dough...what I wouldn't give to help out. Seeing the young ones cry made my heart sink...

I am truly one of the many fortunate people in this world, and I thank God for that!

Comments (0) Full article

Almost every week, there's a report on date-rape, incest, rape, rape, rape, rape, and rape! Today, I read about yet another case of rape; where a girl befriends a guy, meets him, and ends up being raped!

What bugs me is that the rape starts when a girl "befriends" some guy through a random phone number she got, or he got.

What bugs me is that a girl could trust a guy who she just "met" through a phone call, or a short SMS.

What bugs me is that she would end up WILLING to meet him somewhere, all alone.

What bugs me is that she would WILLINGLY follow him somewhere, all alone.

What bugs me is that a guy would treat a fellow human being as if she were nothing but a sex toy. Don't you even have the slightest humanity to feel guilt?

What bugs me is that cases like this happens over and over and over and over again!

That's what bugs me...reading the news makes me sick!

Comments (0) Full article

If you love Heroes, but hate spoilers...DON'T READ THIS!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The exploding man is not Peter, it's Sylar...dang! And you know why future-Hiro asks to save the cheerleader?

Coz when present-day Hiro stabs exploding-Sylar (ala Ted Sprague) with the sword, he regenerated (because he took Claire's powers...therefore, Claire was NOT YET saved!)

I also get why future-Hiro is so grim...after the explosion, people hated his kind...there were curfews, killings, they were treated like crap. That's why!

So, OMG, that totally rocked my socks! NBC's graphic novels provided answers for me! Just think, I now know the background story of "Austin" and "Dallas", Hana, etc...woot!

But there's a lot more, man...many more mysterious stuff...damn, this shit is GOOD!

I LOVE HEROES!

Comments (0) Full article

...since my last post. Haven't been busy, just lounging around the house, watching tv, doing a huge-ass pile of laundry (my family's a well; they wear A LOT of clothes!)

My mom has come and gone for the weekend...my aunt is going back to Colorado tomorrow...she'll be leaving me her dumbells. So, expect me with lovely toned arms and abs soon! Hahah!

Started exercising again...feels good, I don't know why I even stop sometimes. It gets me to release all my gloom, sadness, depressed feelings. It releases the good in me (i'm talkin' endorphins, yo!)

I'm depressed coz I haven't experienced what I should've at my age. I've nothing to remember ecept high school, temp jobs, friends. What else? Zilch! Where's me falling in love? Where's me attending my first concert? How about me gettin' into clubs and shit? Me sneakin' out of the house? I've always been the one who was not allowed to do these things...I guess resentment is how I feel now...to feel more calm, something therapeutic i've done is write a letter. To move on, to be free, and to be the bubbly girl I once was. This letter does not reflect any negativity towards my parents, just some stuff that got me feeling a little down...so, here goes! (Don't judge...)

To my parents:
Why do I have to be the good, "normal" child, the one that HAS to not care about being treated badly by everyone? Just because I didn't cut myself when I was depressed, doesn't mean I don't feel sad. Always, I have to hear the words "Just let her treat you that way, just let it be"...then i'd just HAVE TO shut the fuck up about everything! Even when i've been wronged! They don't care about my feelings when they keep telling me what a bad daughter I am when you channel your anger towards her onto me, coz hey, I don't cut myself, I don't suffer from bulimia...

Now, I guess all the anger throughout the years are coming out...out on you! I'm sorry, but I can't help it...I can't help being a shrew, a bitch, a disrespectful moron! I'm always arguing with everyone at home and lost the "respect your elders" bit. Just so you know, I feel guilt right after I raise my voice on you. Maybe coz the only way I feel that i'm being heard is if I shout it out?

You once asked me why I can't receive compliments...now I answer you with this; I guess all those years of calling me this and that have made me a girl with low self-esteem, who covers it all up with a cheerful front. Inside, i'm all screwed up! I'll always be the fat ugly tomboy that I was in primary school...so, there...there's your answer! Why don't I have a boyfriend? Coz subconsciously, I think I don't deserve anyone, coz, boy, no one could ever handle my shenanigans...

You're the best parents any daughter could have, and this is a mere outburst of what i've been feeling throughout the years when I was 'the good one'. Now...just accept that this is me now. However, I guess you'll never know how I really feel...All's well, I just needed to get this out.

Love you guys always.


Your daughter,
-X-


(I feel so much better now...though, it'll take sometime till i'm feeling great about myself!)

Comments (0) Full article

Idiots!!!

That's how I sum up "these people"...incompetent slobs! Wtf, man?

I was supossed to go for my driving test today, but what happened? Last minute phone call from the bloody-assed driving school. Ladies and gentlemen, for the second time, my test is cancelled. I was looking forward to getting through this fuckin' test, that I took a leave of absence from work, and made plans to visit my mom, collect my prize from Sony, etc...

The first time I got cancelled, was because the idiot slob forgot to put my name in the application, but told me I was confirmed for April the 13th...ok, confirmed!

Then, a week before the test, the idiot slob told me that it wasn't her fault, that it was the old clerk's fault...Oooohhh, like I fuckin' care! BUT, she's only human, so I gave in, seeing that she's 'only human', and at least she notified me early. So she said 18th was open, so I said 18th it is!

Fast forward to the 17th...after taking extra-hours of classes,(I had to, because I don't have a stick-car to practice with) I was feeling ready...

Then, she fuckin' calls me in the afternoon before the test-day to tell me my learners' permit has expired, and i'm ineligible to take the test! Wtf!!! I've renewed it, already, bozo!

Then my dad has to send her the copy, and gives her the lecture on how many times will this happened, what incompetence, and shit like that. I was in my office, pissed out of my mind! She called me and apologized and said it wasn't her fuckin fault, but the old clerk's fault!

HUH! You expect me to fall for that shit this time? Some nerve, I took leave, I planned everything around that day, and you can't even admit your fuckin' fault? How long was that clerk working there? Is she working there now?

What's with "these people"? Why do "these people" keep screwing things up? I'm glad i'm no longer wanting to work with "these people", coz working with them would embarass me as a Malaysian!

She tells me the 20th is free! After arguing about her incompetence, I then tell her to better give me the 20th. She says she'll call me back. She doesn't. So I call her. She says I could only get to do the test in May. I get pissed even more! I couldn't handle it, and tell her to call me when she's sure of everything, and be sure this time, or else...then, I slam the phone down in sheer anger, bloody anger!

I swear on Mongrel Dogs, I will never let my sister, or anyone I know go to that fuckin' driving school...NEVER!!! They fuckin' wasted my money, my time and commitment...

Now, I have made up my mind...no working with "those people", coz all I get is stupid, bloody migraines from their idiocy! Now, on to my venting:

@$$fUc^^%##$$%66777mo&&^^%%%^&$##@^$%&*

Comments (0) Full article

OMG!!! Heroes preview...This is absolutely awesome!!! I can't wait, people! Peter looks hot with a scar. Teehee! And what's with the gloomy future Hiro? And is Isaac gonna die? Oh, man, I can't wait!

The song goes great with the trailer. In case you didn't know, it's Nickleback's If Anyone Cared...

Does anyone care? Haha...guess not! This is MY addiction!

Comments (0) Full article

Black Monday...Manic Monday...Shitty Mondays...they are practically a guarantee! The weekend's done, and we start the week with another day of business.

So, i don't enjoy my work, as it's just a temporary one till I start freshman year. Sure, many people do hate their job...but I would like to do something which I have passion for. That is why, I hope everything goes how it should. Pleeeeeeze, let it happen!

Mom had to go back to the hospital after her "weekend holiday". We sent her back yesterday night. Dad waited in the car, probably tearing up coz he'll miss his wifey...my sis and I sent her to her ward. Unloaded her stuff, then kissed her goodbye. We could see her face was sad and she was about to cry. When I turned back, she gave my sis and I a flying kiss, with the almost-gonna-cry face. We got out, and my sister began crying. I tried to be the strong one, and held back tears.

Just as we reached the darkness, I released all the held tears, and wiped them before my sister could detect anything. I really didn't want to make her cry even more, so I had to keep up a front, as usual...back at home, I ran into my room and cried my heart out!

Mommie, my mommie! She's such a great person...she's funny, weird and crazy (like me!), demanding, but she makes up for it with her smile, her heart. We all would just miss her, we can't even say goodbye when we send her to the hospital! Gawd, i'm welling up! Must stop now...

I truly hope everything goes well, and she and the baby will remain healthy, as they should be. Till the next weekend, when momsie comes home...


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Today, I decide to take the bus home. Too much money is being spent on train rides, and I don't have a lot of money. So, I have to get down on a place that is quite far from my house, and walk! Perhaps I could lose some pounds! Lol! Oh, wait, i'm wearing high heels...NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Hope that everything goes well.

Toodlez, bitches!

Comments (0) Full article

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly,points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."

The other hooks his thumb behind him says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."
.
.
.
.
LOL!
.
.
.
.
Help me with the boredom, people!

TGIF post for today...

Yesss!!! I love Fridays...coz I become someone i'm not, when I do nothing...I hate it when i've nothing to do, y'all! I become very irritable, gloomy, and shit like that. I watch YouTube, but that's just till I get an hour's fix. After that, the boredom kicks in again. What i'm curious about is, why do I get bored easily? Is it normal?

At least, i'll be having my driving lessons tomorrow and Sunday, but that's it! No plans after that.

Somebody rescue me!!!

Comments (0) Full article

Dullness begins when you have nothing to do, right? Anybody have a suggestion?

Let's just talk about yesterday's train ride home. Well, I knew as much. I saw this eye candy, he looked so cute+hot, which is great. We looked at each other for a sec, then, at the next stop, a bunch of people came in, so I just gave in and went to the back of the train...sigh!

I believe there is this karmic balance in life, ya know? 1 eye candy must equal to something bad...is it too dark a thought? I think not, since it's always the case in my life...

So, what makes me think these thoughts? Experience! What happened after that? These two Indonesian guys stared at me, then one of them took liberty in holding onto bars either side of me, virtually surrounding me with his arms! Yucks!!!

Feel him breathing on me...talking to his friend beside him! WTF, dude? Just as I wanted to move away, he kinda moved away. Phew!

I just wish all asshole/perverts/idiots/weaklings/pushovers will go to hell!

Comments (0) Full article

I know this much is true...I LOVE HEROES!!!!!!!

I've read all the summaries of the future episodes, but dang! Watching it just gets better every week. Uh, if I were to talk about the show, I would need 100 pages, so nevermind!

I've never seen so many eye candy, dudes! Hahaha, Peter & Nathan Petrelli, Isaac Mendez, Mohinder Suresh, heck, even HRG looks hot! Sigh...am I forgetting anyone's hotness? How about cuteness? Hiro is masterful in the cute area, and so is Ando...oh, and Micah too! Geez, i'm such a Heroes junkie...

Okay, on another note...I miss my mom! Turns out there is no way she'll be back anytime soon. She has to remain under observation until the baby is born...poor mom! Miss her very much, and hope she and the baby will be safe and healthy...

In other news, I would like to thank God for my perv-less journey home yesterday...I only saw one guy in the train I was in...and he was surrounded by women, he looked kinda scared! Hahaha, hope to have another journey like that today!

That's all folks!

Comments (0) Full article

Dear God,

If you would be so kind (of course you are!), would you please let me go home today without the feeling of being watched or breathed on? I wouldn't mind seeing a nice+cute guy, though. Please, don't let those ass-faced-jerk-off pervs do shit today. And if they do, may they be struck by lightning, or may a rabid dog feast on their "frank 'n beans"...yes, the latter would be much better!

It would be very much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Me

Comments (0) Full article

Mom's been admitted...she's ok (thank God!), but needs to remain under observation. The baby might be born this month...wow!

How fast the time passes. In a few weeks, i'm gonna be a sister all over again! Then i'll be off to college/uni/whatever, then i'll be working, then i'll be married, then i'll be having kids of my own, then i'll have grandchildren, then...RIP! The circle of life? I'd like to think my life would amount to something more than just the ordinary, you know?

I've got so much of hope, and yet, I know that things don't always turn out the way you want them to...I've got too many dreams and ambition to live a normal life, and I sure hope God will dream a bigger dream for me...

Yet, here I am blogging in the office, all alone...why is everybody late?

Paolo Nutini's songs are playing in the background. It suits my mood now, his music...bluesy, rocky, folksy...NICE! I love his music.

Comments (0) Full article

You should see my parents...they are so adorable! So in love, you wouldn't believe. One morning, I went into their room to take the laundry (yeah, I do the laundry...everybody's laundry!!!) and I saw them cuddling while sleeping. Isn't that cute? My parents, people!!!

And now i'm sitting here, wondering why i'm such a cynical, sarcastic bitch, when it comes to matters like romance, love...maybe love isn't for me? So far, I haven't even come close to anything like that, what more, the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, hearing trumpets (???) and shit like that.

My sister has this idea that i'll turn out as a bitter old woman, who's still a virgin...and i'll also be the neighborhood cat-lady! Hahahahaha...that's funny! But, do you know what's funnier? When your mom tells you that as well...

For someone who seems to be a love-cynic, I do talk about it a lot, don't I? Maybe it's because I want to be proven wrong. Maybe it's because of the constant pressure from my mom, sister, friends (some of them!), cousins, godfather. Why is everyone rooting for me? Why, why, why? It's kinda sweet, but still annoying!

All these questions that will never be answered!

Comments (0) Full article

I'm not busy anymore, coz I finished all the work given...a little too fast! So, now i'm back to blogging, and surfing the net for junk!

What is this I hear about the gov wanting bloggers to register? I mean, is there no such thing as privacy anymore in this country? Gawsh!!! The registered prepaid is understandable, but this? Hey, I don't create trouble for people, I just mind my own business and blog! This is MY journal, and not a malevolent media to bring people down...sigh...slowly, this country is making me more and more disappointed!

Among other things, what can I say? My parent plan to migrate somewhere nice when they get older...you know, how old folks in America move to Florida...lol! I just hope my sister and I will be making lots of moolah so that we can spoil them, hahaha!

Comments (0) Full article

This is what I can say for NOW...


When you plan things, they either:

• Work out well
• Don't work out at all

Well, I planned for years to become a diplomat, or eventually an ambassador to my country, and go on to missions worldwide...but, now what? I am now, with a heavy heart opting not to...because a girl like me--a non-Bumi will never get the chance I deserve...due to this bullshit called affirmative action. Now, I understand that this works on a minority, but why does it apply to the majority in this country?

Plus, i've added the fact that i'm also half-Filipino, so i'm not sure if i'd even be considered being in the gov or even likely to be promoted. My uncle, a Malaysian of Sinhalese race has been in the gov body for over 20 years. He has mentored countless incompetent Malay-sians who have gone to be at the top of the chain.

How unfair is this? I have a lot to offer, and I don't need to waste my precious time, dude! If I join the foreign service, I need a guarantee that i'll be judged purely on my capabilities, and not my race! I need answers, but I doubt i'll get any...I don't even know who to ask!

As one dream slowly fades away, I now opt for Plan B...YES, there is a plan B. Remember how I love writing, talking (not as much as writing...but people seem to say I have the gift of the gab...hehehe! More like the gift of not shutting up!)?

I think that BA in Communication is the way to go! Either Taylor's or Monash...If I could get the full amount for Monash , which is VERY expensive via PTPTN, it would definitely be my choice. So, I need to do some research...I need much assistance, God, so you better take the wheel...soon, i'll have a baby sister, and you know babies...I can't burden my mom and dad with my crap.

I've heard a saying, "Wanna make God laugh? Make a plan..."

How true that is. Just goes to show that HE has a sense of humor...I dig that!

Comments (0) Full article

Happy Easter!!!

For me, it didn't make any difference...I know, I know, Jesus was risen from the dead today, and lo and behold...we all rejoice in HIS presence!

I mean, it isn't different because we did not celebrate the day with any lavish settings or parties. We just went for Sunday mass, went out to eat, went to Grandma's...that's it! How much boring can my social life get?

We did go to SPCA (my aunt from the US wanted some t-shirts---which of course, helps the maintenance of the place!) which, by the way is extremely, poorly maintained. We also witnessed a worker hitting a dog with a cane, and that ain't a sight to see, especially at SPCA!!! She said she was gonna write about it to the American SPCA...what an embarassment to Malaysians!

My bestest best friend's birthday is today! Happy birthday, bitch!!! May you blossom into the woman you want to be...love you lots! Can't believe we're 20 this year...not teens anymore! Lol, soon, we could get into clubs...Hahaha! Not like YOU would. Btw, my 21st birthday would be celebrated in the casino, for sure! Hahaha!

Sigh, time passes by way too fast! But, wait! I still don't have a boyfriend...Lol, and everyone wants to "help" me find one...I would love to have a nice guy who I can have a ball with, but if he's not here, why hurry, right? Sometimes people want stuff for you that just isn't logical...

But, you know something? The guys who like me are either;

• Too fat (hey, I don't mind chubby, but by golly, 3 overweight guys trying to "score" you just a tad too creepy...)
• Too young (nononono...)
• Too dependent, that they call you every hour, of every day...even when they're working...YIKES!

Man, this ain't right...

WHERE ARE YOU, MR. RIGHT-GUY-FOR-ME??? Come out, come out, wherever you are...

Comments (0) Full article

I knew it...when it's dad who sends me to work, i'm a 100% sure i'll be late...today, I certainly was. 10 minutes late to be exact. It's not that anyone was in the office or anything, but I just need to be early, or on the dot, yo!

Yeah, i'm a real piece of work like that!

Watched Heroes last night. DAMN, it was great! My friend downloads the show, and catches the same episode that the U.S. does, but I can't...the server over here sucks. Plus, my comp RAM sucks too! Put 2 & 2 together...go figure. I'll just wait for Astro's prime time show...what the heck, eh? Ok, back to the show...

Ooohhh, looks like Sylar's power gets more powerful with every kill..oohhh! And yada yada yada! Can't wait, dudes! I'm a total Heroes junkie...and wasn't Hiro's story totally adorable? I recognized Charlie from that suck-ball movie called Epic Movie...she did great in the show.

Meh, i'm talking too much now. Better get back to work. Btw, to the only friend I can trust enough to read this...when are we gonna hang out, dude? I start freshman year in July...that's a long way to go!

Comments (0) Full article

Yes...I think so...well, I don't know for sure, but I'm now doing some production work...SUBTITLING!!!

Well, with that, I can now say i'm bored no more! Woohoo!

Bought brekkie from another nasi lemak lady...boy, it sucks balls! Totally a waste of my money; its bland, oh so bland! Yucks!!!

Here's hoping that I get a hike...a pay hike that is! Coz now, I totally deserve it.

Yeah, a short post for today...but, woot for me anyway!

Comments (0) Full article

I start the morning with this:

WTF?

Woke up quite late today...realized that there's no more coffee! Arrrghhh...what the hell, man? I needz ma coffee!!! So there...I thought I could grab a cuppa 3-in-1 at the office, then I realized my Nescafe 3-in-1 RICH is gone. Noooooooo! Thought i'd steal a sachet from the boss-man, but he likes his 3-in-1 MILD. Ewwwwww!!!!!

So now, I have to drink this measly cup of sugar and milk with a little bit of coffee for flavor...that's how a MILD tastes like.Okay, I don't care, i'm gonna buy my own RICH 3-in-1 whether i've got money or not! MILD does not work for me! It just doesn't...

I'm gonna buy me my caffeine-fix!

On another note; the nasi lemak lady has vanished...noooooooo!

Later!

Comments (0) Full article

After work, I watched a movie with a couple of friends...this movie, 300 that everyone's been talking about.

One of my friend saw it for the 3rd time! Can you believe that? Lol, the movie was great, in terms of cinematography, it is very artistic (yes, even the bloody, gory scenes...oooh, and the beheading too!). I should tell you that I was the only one really enjoying (i.e.--laughing out loud) all the gore and slicing of hands and legs...my friends were looking at me like, "Whaaat? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you a sadist or something?" much to my chagrin...well, it's just surprising that all the gory details are intact...

And would you believe the pecks on those dudes? OMG, fuckin' unreal, dudes! Imagine 300 men with their six-packs on guard...my male friend was almost crying at the sight, claiming "do you think those pecks are real?"

Of course they are, dude! That's what months of training do to your body...and if we are talking about real Spartans, they train almost their whole lives...and, oh, what hurt I felt when King Leonidas bit the dust...and the end was awe-inspiring. All in all, great movie in terms of style...substance, i'll give it a B-!

Yesterday was Palm Sunday in the Catholic calendar...so, my family and I went for mass as usual...damn, the church was packed! Our church is quite small, so to see people all the way outside was quite touching!

I even saw my crush there too! Damn, he's cute! I somehow can't gather enough courage to even smile at him, which is unusual, coz i'm NEVER shy! Oh, yeah...I forgot, I usually am shy with guys I like! Oh, snap! Well...someday, i'll have to change this attitude, but I guess I'm afraid taking chances might somehow backfire...well, i've seen it happen to some of my closest friends, and see what it did to her? I don't want that to happen to me too! Eh, maybe he has a girlfriend anyway (that's how I comfort myself when I think about it!)...

And...I'm officially the family chef...Lol! I cooked on Saturday, (seeing that my mom can't be doing any work due to her pregger state) and people seemed to like it...so I cooked on Sunday, and was crowned the family cook! Haha...I have to cook special vegetarian meals for my vegetarian sister, you know? That's tough!!!

I'm kinda regretting cooking well, coz now i'll have to cook all the time! Shit, I never thought of that...only now!!!

Wow, looks like a long post...heheee, looks like I got my writing mojo back!

Toodlez, bitches!

Comments (0) Full article

I dig them guys I can't have...love these rocker dudes! Hotness+talent=ledzeppelin4evr's crush...

These rockers...I like!

• Brandon Boyd (Incubus)
• Jeff Russo (Tonic)
• Chris Cornell (Audioslave)
• Trent Reznor (NIN)
• Jakob Dylan (The Wallflowers)
• Gavin Rossdale (Bush)

[UPDATED: How could I forget dear Gavin, hot hubby of Gwen Stefani???]

Comments (0) Full article

Finally found the album i've been looking for; Lemon Parade by Tonic. Been looking for it for over two years...yeah, fucking Malaysian record stores rarely have this album. So, guess what I did? I downloaded it from Multiply...it seemed like the only way, y'all...I needed it desperately!

I absolutely love Tonic's Lemon Parade...LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!! Now, I swear, if I don't find their 'Sugar' album in stores, i'm gonna do the same thing, and download it online again!

I LOVE JEFF RUSSO of Tonic...he's hot, and talented! Okay, Emerson and Dan are hot too, but I am drawn to Jeff...Sigh!

It's the men I can't have that I'm ultimately drawn to...that is so...retarded!

I'm gonna enjoy the album now. See y'all in the next few hours, coz i'm sure i'll have lots to talk about!

Comments (0) Full article

Yeah, what's up with Malaysians nowadays? Total selfishness and stupidity...everywhere!

It has been twice since someone's cut me off-queue, damnit! The first time, this 40-ish guy came off his old motorcycle and cut me off while I was lining to buy me brekkie...Nasi Lemak w/ Kerang (Mmmmm....)! Huh, what the hell did I do? I called out my freakin' order out loud before the lady could pick up his order. Luckily, this lady acknowledged that I was there first, and proceeded to give me mine...Hah!

Today- the 2nd time; this old-ish hag (call her Lady Hag) cut a lady (let's call her Lady B) in front of me, and Lady B did not have the guts to say a word.

OMG, I seriously almost screamed out "Hey fuckster, don't you know how to queue up?"...BUT, she would probably die of a heart-attack, seeing that she's about 50 something or so...so I didn't...Lady B should have, though! If anyone ever cut me off like that, I would have a fit! Too bad the nasi lemak lady didn't see Lady Hag cutting queue.

Just wanna say, don't be a fucker and go jumping into people's queue...have some decency, courtesy and respect for your fellow humans...we ain't animals, y'all...

And If I ever catch you doing that, I'm gon' do some ass-whoopin'...BIG TIME!

Comments (0) Full article

...that I have no work to do today. Isn't that nice?

Well, it is, if you are the idle-lovin' type of person, but I AM CERTAINLY NOT ONE! Oh, man...with my free time, I just check out blogs, go joining clubs for bitches (don't believe me? Look at the nice pic below...), IM my friends, watch YouTube, read the papers online, basically, my whole day revolves around the computer...

I just finish up my work a little too soon, I guess...I do work fast, and that's a good thing!

So, what am I gonna blab about now? Let's see...

Okay, i've been contemplating on going to Taylor's College or Monash University...Communications will be at Taylor's, and International Relations at Monash...

So, am I to join the foreign service, join the mass-comm industry where every man, woman, and those in-between are joining?

Seems tough, seeing that I like both! Mom and dad will support me in anything I do, so that's a good thing. However, regarding the finances, I will have to invest in my future with my OWN money...trust me, this is the ONLY time I wish my parents were rich!

Choices to make, in such little time...God, help me!

Comments (0) Full article

Any music I was looking for, I found it here! I love it so so much...the ones that seem impossible to find, without downloading any malware/spyware/adware interference...I found it all!!!

Yay!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, nowadays, my posts seem short...have I lost my gift of blabbing? What do I blog about today?

Oh yeah, last weekend; I watched Just Like Heaven on HBO...guess what my sister tells me?

She said that I would become like Reese Witherspoon's character...workaholic, and alone!

WTF? You mean to say I have to be half-dead to get a decent guy?

Bummer...

Comments (0) Full article

I must say, most of the songs released on Eli's MySpace are great...he is now revamped...new teeth, long hair and all...and might I say, he looks like JESUS. Kinda miss the old Elliott...

Holy Jebus, Batman!!!

Comments (0) Full article

I thought I was no fan of the guys in American Idol this year...coz I know for sure, Melinda needs to be given the title, hands down!

BUT...

This week, I fell in love with Blake! He sang one of the sexiest songs ever made, and it made me love him...it was a song by The Zombies, called 'Time of the Season'. As usual, he did his beatboxing thing, but I wasn't disappointed...he didn't spoil the song...not at all!!! I always loved that song...appropriate for seduction, hehehe!

Mind you, I think he's a great performer (you should've seen his moves...), but not an awesome singer...but, i'm swooning, baby! Btw, Ryan was totally checking Blake out! Hahahaha!!!

Oh shit, just when I thought I wouldn't fall for any guys on this season of Idol...I go ahead and fall!

It happened with Bo, Chris...and now I present...

BLAKE LEWIS! (Sigh...)

Who's your daddy...Blake's my daddy!!! Wooot!!!

PS: Why the hell is Sanjaya still here?

Comments (0) Full article

Yo, I received the notification on V Day, via e-mail...then I received another asking for my address, so they can send a letter...but I did not get it yet...when will they send it? When? When? When?

I know the company is legit...the whole contest was to promote Sony MP3 Walkman in Asia Pacific...you know, the whole thing about being a Soundaholic? BUT...where is my Sony NW-S705F MP3 Walkman?

When I won another contest last year, I waited for the prize for 6 months...6 months! My weakness is impatience, people...don't test it, please!!!

I summon thee, MP3 walkman, I summon thee...

Comments (0) Full article

Okay, I did no such thing; chasing cars...I just like it as a title!

Mom's car is still at the mechanic's, so dad dropped me at my office...yesterday's trip on the train was...tiring! I did not expect to be walking so far with the heels I was wearing...Gosh!!! I reached home with sores on my feet...

Anyways, in the commute, there's no such thing as decent people. Alright, I may be talking shit because of a few bad apples, but I just can't keep my mouth shut...why do people have to stare? The one thing I despise is staring...guys, girls, it doesn't make a difference. Staring is NOT polite! I seem to get stared at by a confused-looking bunch of people...

Then they start to get annoying and ask my race...I wish I could say, "None of your fucking business!" but I am a polite person, and I just have fun and say the first thing that pops into my head...I pretend to be Mexican and say, "Lo siento, yo no hablar Englais!", or a Sabahan, or a Filipino, or a Spaniard, or a Malay, Indian...whatever! Just as long as they get out of my freakin' face!

Well, while commuting, I got the 'ol stare-a-thon from this old guy; looked like he was staring at my chest! Oh my God, could the guy not be creepier? Yucks!!! WTF, dude! Go to a fuckin' place called Chow Kit, you mo' fo'!!! Plus, he was the ultimate stereotype...I don't wanna repeat myself...you get the gist!

I did not happen to bump into any cute guys, however...where are all the hot guys??? Just stood next to one guy that had extremely bad B.O.! Where's the eye candy? I need some eye candy, people!!!

Well, I did jinx my whole week...I hoped it would not be a bitch, and it did! I need to use reverse psychology the next time!

'Til the next post, i'm gonna go chase some cars...

Comments (0) Full article

My mom just called me. The time? 9.30am.

She tells me...after dropping me off at my office, her car got hit by a BMW! Wtf??? What else could I, a daughter of a preggie mother do, but panic...

"Oh my God, mom! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, i'm okay...the guy who hit my car was gracious enough to apologize, and promised to pay for the whole mess."

Well, of course he should, right? He hit her car...from the back...it's his fault, so he should pay...he drives a BMW anyway, so what's a little bill for fixing a little car for him, eh? My poor mom. Thank God nothing happened to her. Thank God!!!

And thank you, God for letting a polite, civilized, gentleman hit her car, not one of those meanies who beat up pregnant women with a wrench...

What is it with Malaysian drivers? Just yesterday my sister and her fellow team of debaters were in an accident on the road...they were on their way back from a debating competition (i'm so proud of her, by the way!). You know what happened? A fuckin' truck was speeding, and hit their car from the back! Guess who got scolding? Their poor teacher, aka the driver got it from that fuckin' trucker! Shame on that trucker for hiding his guilt by sounding-off to an innocent teacher...with her students watching, nonetheless!!! Trying to cover his mistake by aggression...what a wimpy chicken-shit!

He hit them coz he was fuckin' speeding, and yet he had the gall to be scolding the victim? As my Malay friends would say, "Masya-Allah!" (sorry if the spelling's wrong...)

Too much cars on the road, I must say, especially now that everyone can own one, no matter how minimum your wage is...heck, even I can own a car!

I heard the Gov is charging a levy for one-passenger cars...I think that's great, much to dad's disapproval. This would be the only way the cars on the road would lessen.

All in all, i'm happy nobody is hurt! Oh, geez...i'm gonna have to take the train! Oh, man...

Toodlez...

Comments (0) Full article

Just a short post...I dreamt that Ryan Seacrest was the Devil!

I also dreamt that my sister was gonna elope with her no-good boyfriend...At 18, damnit!!! I was begging her not to, but she wanted to, and nobody was gonna stop her, she said! Yikes!!!

---End of weird dream post---

Comments (1) Full article

I wish I had a mute button for certain people. Some people can't just seem to shut the fuck up! Why is it, when you don't ask for their opinion, they just go on and on, and give it to you anyway? Man, that is soooo annoying!!!

Another thing is, what the hell is wrong with me being single? Why do people seem to think i'm miserable just because i'm single? Sometimes, I don't know what to think and what to do anymore...the thing is, i'm happy!!! So, why must I look for "Mr. Right" at the mere age of almost-20? I somehow think I would stumble upon a great guy, serendipitously...somewhere out there. Besides, my ideals on future relationships are much too idealistic.

I'm NOT an old woman, so please...can't you let me enjoy my youth? Being single and carefree is fun!!! I'm only 20 years old, damnit!!!

Wait, wait...one more thing! This is to men who can't take no for an answer; just because a girl ain't into you, doesn't mean she's not into guys, you egotistical twat! Maybe it's because you are a jerk, an asshole, a male-chauvinist pig, etc...so get the message, will you?

You know what? I might as well tell everyone i'm joining a convent to become a nun...or that i'm a lesbian...yeah, that would be so much easier and would probably shut them up!!! Or maybe that would invite more "opinions"? Oh, boy...here we go again!

Comments (0) Full article

Over the weekend, I went over to my aunt's apartment, she's renting out a room to a boy, around my age, maybe a little older...my cousin rents out another room.

This guy seems pretty decent, shy and ...awww, you know, the boy next door...okay, that's all I can say.

You know what's the problem? My mom has started to ask my cousin to hook me up with this guy...My MOM!!! Now my cousin and aunt are in on it...everytime the boy is there, they let out hints that I am single...and the fact that he's single too is pretty weird. WTF, man? Okay, if you guys wanna joke with me, hey, i'm fine with that...in fact, i'm the master of being the court jester...but c'mon, not in front of the guy.

Now, I find it awkward even going to the place...this all started when my aunt's grandaughter said, "Hey, that boy is cute...why don't you make him your boyfriend?" in front of him...Yikes...I then laugh with a hint of embarassment.

Why is it, that I can't be single and happy without people butting-in? My mom should be proud that i'm not dependent on anyone...that's what gets to me. Note to self: more on this on my next post...

Comments (0) Full article

Firstly, I would like to start by saying, the weekend sucked! Supposedly, I was going to volunteer at SPCA, but one thing; the stars of the event were not the animals, instead it was...a VJ? Another thing; I got stood up by my good-for-nothing sister, who ditched me for a date with her good-for-nothing boyfriend! Anyway, my friend told me there were many, many volunteers! That's a good thing, right? I really wanted to go...but damn, that place is so far away, and I can't travel THAT far...as much as I love dogs, and wanna help, this is too much hassle, yo!

The second thing is, mom came back from the O.B.'s appointment with dad...looks like there's a few problems with the pregnancy. This is what I can't fathom...she could be in danger! Not to mention the baby! She started crying at home...my dad couldn't stay longer, as he had to work...so, he asked me and my sis to comfort her. What do you tell an expecting mother who just got some bad news? It's something about the placenta in the wrong location. If it doesn't move in the next 2-weeks, she's gonna be admitted, one month early! God, please let everything be okay! Please...

Another rant i've got to release...why is it always the idiot Malay-sians who seem to do stuff they can't handle? I'm proud to say that i've done a good job writing not one, but two articles for my former-school magazine. I was the one who edited my article, coz trust me, not even the teacher-in-charge, nor the editor-in-chief understood what I wrote about. They've asked me, "what is 'Gucci'...or 'dictates'...or 'vegetative'?"

WTF? And I sort of knew that this school had hired some incompetent idiots to publish the mag...so what? Not that 99% would understand what the hell I was writing, seeing the average student couldn't even read an Aesop fable without an English-BM dictionary, right? Okay, I'm being condescending here, but I can't help it! I wrote a pretty good article, which I am proud of...sarcastic, witty (ego-bitch tells it again!), yada, yada, yada...but what exactly is the fuckin' problem?

Clerical errors! Wouldn't YOU hate that? Readers wouldn't think of blaming the publishers, they will blame the writer for this sort of shit! In this kinda shizz, I really want my stuff to be perfect...is that so wrong?

The letters "L" were replaced by exclamation points (!), "I" with the number "9", and so much more, that even I, the writer, couldn't decipher my own article...for fuck's sake, people, be a little more competent, will you? Luckily, my other article, was typed ALMOST perfectly (which means, about 20% typing errors!)

It's stuff like this that makes me a control freak! The very article that I was proud of has become one of my worse shame...Damn, I even won an elocution contest for it! Now, on to my venting...

"*(&^%$#$%^&***%%%^;^' @$$#*&$% @#$% &^*%^&$%%%^##"

Too much of you couldn't handle what I just said...so, I now camouflage the 'fucks and other stuff' with nice, frilly motifs! Enjoy!

Toodles...may the week not turn out to be a bitch!

Comments (1) Full article

Alright, I admit, yesterday was a pretty emotional day...hence, the emotional post! Sometimes, you can't help how you feel, you know?

I guess having a whole day pass you by does indeed give you perspective. So be it, if I don't get into a public uni...so be it. I can easily get into a college. Money? I can easily get a loan. Repayment? Why bother with all that now! Just don't get a credit card, my mom says...

Getting a job would be posibble, I guess. Being a driven, hardworker, with charm (I'm such an egotistical bitch!), wit, and talent (ego-bitch!), there is nothing more to worry about.

**Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts**

**Be positive...be positive**

So, the words above is sort of an exercise for me...accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. Until the next post...later today...TGIF!

Comments (0) Full article

Where should I start? Well, I was hoping to score at least...AT LEAST 3.50 cgpa for my STPM, but noooo, what did I get? A fuckin' 3.00!!! Shit, just when I thought God would help me, this happens...Oh shit, dude!

In a state of panic, I receive my notification via sms...in a state of denial, I started crying! Just a few minutes ago, my dad told me to go get that straight As...my mom told me as long as I did the best that I could, there would be no worries.

After this, I ran to my parents, with tears in my eyes...which is not, I repeat NOT me! I NEVER cry! Well, this time, I did...I just didn't want to disappoint them! This was supposed to get me at least a scholarship...but now, I guess I have to get into a private college. Damn, the money I'm gonna need...my parents can't afford that! Especially with a baby on the way...well, at least I don't have to pay for pre-U courses!

My mom and dad are the best parents any girl could ever have. They told me it's not the end of the world...They, my parents support me! I thought the grades I would obtain could be their reward...after all the sacrifices made for me and my sister. I love them so much!

My teacher told me, maybe it is a blessing in disguise? I thought I would get into a public uni, get into the foreign service and become a diplomat...maybe this is God's way of telling me it's better to go for communications/journalism?

I've always loved writing, and I love it more than political science and international & strategic studies, honestly...but the reasons I want to work in the Gov sector is because, in the Foreign Service (Wisma Putra), I get to continue my studies, up to a PhD, free of charge...plus, I always wanted to be the first Malaysian woman ambassador to the UN, travel the world, meet foreign dignitaries, or even become one myself! Big dreams, I must say!

If I were to get into communications, there would be big opportunities in the corporate sector--magazines, media, PR, etc...but would I be writing the things I like? Of course not!

Now, I am truly at a crossroads...confused! Just when I thought there would be one straight road! Now; here lies a detour!

God, help me! Only time will tell what will happen, what road I would eventually choose!

If I get into a uni-college, I might as well invest on it, right? 64k is a lot of money! But one thing's for sure...I will NOT ask my parents for a dime...This, I must strive on my own! This is my battle...So, God, if you're out there...please guide me towards the right choice! The road taken, should be the one where i'm the happiest!

Comments (0) Full article

The fact that I am utterly bitter and cynical has got me to ask this question, "Am I a shrew?" I made a mistake by making myself seem that I was performing a soliloquy...coz my mom who happened to pass by said, "Oh...do you even have to ask?"

This, I must admit, is a bitter pill to swallow! Ever read "The Taming Of The Shrew"? I'm the shrew! I'm the shrew!

What can I do? I'm nice most of the time, but if one thing gets on my nerves, the fun girl turns into "the Hulk"...my whole day turns dark! Maybe I've bipolar disorder...who knows?

Perhaps some Xanax would help...

One thing for sure, a few minutes listening to my favorite songs, I turn back to the normal, fun-loving girl that you once knew...

Gee, music does tame the wild beast! Perhaps I should find me a musician boyfriend, Lol! Ok, ok, just because my dad is (or was) a musician, don't get all Freudian with me!

That's it! I'm joining the Heartless Bitch Club!

Comments (0) Full article

This post is a different side of me, I must say!

Know what i'm talkin' about? Well, i'm talking about having a conversation with God...do you think he talks back when you pray? I kinda think so...

Around two years ago, I found this book called Conversations with God by Neal Donald Walsch. Read it with much curiosity, and I must say, though new ideas by Neal's talk with God seems to be different than what i've learnt in Catholicism, I kind of understand his connection with God. I think it's okay to have questions, once in a while, you know? Everyone has questions...especially in things much bigger than ourselves...

Okay, for a cynic, I must say, I believe there is a God. I believe that HE is always within us to help us and give guidance...but, only if we ask. I always ask HIM to give me answers, but I realized, I never LISTENED! That is one of the things we all do...we hear, but don't listen!

Now, I know each person have their own idea of God, and I believe that HE is okay with that...just as long as you are a truthful person, do good unto others, you're home free. That is why, I can't stand it when some people force their own religion unto you! It can be quite annoying. God is received by a person in their own time! He does not force a person to believe, and that's what I think...

I also think that God loves ALL his children, no matter how different you are...I just don't get some people who judge others like they are all that, and a bag of chips! So, if you are different--don't force yourselves to be otherwise just because some people can't accept you. As long as you are a good human being, HE will not make you go into a pit of fire!

That's the God I believe in...so, don't judge me, coz you ain't perfect!

I've tried to hear God speak...this time, maybe i'll listen!

Comments (0) Full article

Well, this post is long overdue...but, nevertheless, I feel just as strongly about this as before...In this country of mine, there are people who are blatant misogynists! This, therefore makes me sick to my stomach...

Can you believe after all the years of feminist movement and activism, this country still lags behind other countries in terms of women's rights? Well, how do you suppose that is NOT gonna happen, when supposed politicians who make up our government have minds as old as time, and brains as small as a pea...there, I said it!

Mind you, I am certainly not talking about all of them, just a few bad apples. How do I not get mad when some go public with their stupid views...that women get raped because of what they wear? Wtf? Are you for real? Seriously? Oh, I guess women who wear the burqa are safe then, huh? Well, then how do you explain the raping of women in what you call "modest" gear? They cover themselves from head to toe with your supposed "aurat"-covering clothes, and still get raped! Try wearing a low cut top, and you'll see that many Malay-sian men say "no cleavage-bearing tops! It is haram!" by staring down your chest, no matter how fat and ugly you are!

Lemme give you a tip...wanna wear these kinds of clothes? Wear 'em in places like KLCC, Mid Valley, and places where there are lots of foreigners...coz, for them, it's no biggie! But try going to places like Mydin (where you'll NEVER see me!), kampungs, etc...you're inviting danger...coz it's "mencolok mata", "haram", and "berdosa" to show your "aurat"! And, an invitation to rape and molestation.

How about children? Are they seducers to rapists?

What kind of sick person rapes? Oh, I know, the very people who commit incest with their grandmothers, nieces, nephews, sons and daughters...

Why do you suppose that the very people who do this are the very people who calls it "haram", "berdosa", and does a lot of preaching, forbidding, etc?

So far in my observation, these people are the very ones who ride around in their motorcycles, acting all holier-than-thou...and then, showing girls their super-teeny 'pea-cocks'!

So, forgive me for giving my two-cents' worth in this matter. After hearing tales of molestations, which surprisingly, are done by the you-know-whos...turns out that there are many victims! Wow, I guess, we who wear cleavage-bearing school uniforms, sexy huge T-shirts, tight sweaters are "just too sexy" for y'all to handle? So, what explanation do I hear now, Mr. Minister-of-whatever?

Oh, and another news of stupidity among politicians...Lo and behold...to curb men's sexual attacks, we women should wear...the chastity belt! Oh, here we go...this is as far as the bad apples go...to the 16th century!

So, does that mean we could wear sexy clothes now? Now that we have chastity belts on?

Forgive the sarcasm in this post...perhaps if I were less cynical...Nahhh, that'll never happen!

Sarcasm=Me!

Comments (1) Full article

As I traveled my dreams,
I saw a little boy,
Crying near the brook,
There he sits, his body trembling.

I ask his name,
He answers, "Ben...", "Will you help me find my home?"
I take him,
Carrying him on my back, this 6-year old is light as a feather...

I climb a hill,
With Ben on my back,
Again he cries,
"I don't know where my home is"

I say don't worry,
He'll stay with me,
He'll be my family,
We'll find a house with everything we want.

He says, "No",
I ask why,
"I am every boy you knew and know..."
"You say you'll love me, but you won't".

My eyes start to blur...the little boy becomes
The very thing I try to get away from,
He is right, what have I done, what am I doing?
Only time will tell...

Now I realized how I was and am,
Trying to change now...I'm in a lucid mind,
In a make-believe reality,
I decide.

Comments (0) Full article

There, I admit it...i've absolutely no life. Dullness is my middle name...So on to my 2nd post for today...

Today, my bosses came in like 3-4 hours...then, they said that they're going for a stupid meeting with Astro...now i'm alone in the office. What do you suppose I could do here, you say? Well, I took the liberty of blasting my audio downloads on this freakin' slow PC! Man, can't these people fix this shitty thing? Damn...

Uhh, the song playing now---Last Request by Paolo Nutini. I must say, being a rock fan, i'm slowly getting drawn into bluesy stuff...was looking for Tracy Chapman's Give Me One Reason, and I found a different version by Earl Thomas & Heineh Andersen...and, I must say, it wasn't that bad at all! I instantly remembered my childhood years, when mom used to take me to dad's gigs in pubs/bars, and he did some blues with his band...and my eyes would get so watery because of all the smoke from the pub/bar patrons...

Ok, I will admit, it wasn't a great place to take a 5 year old, but these are the stuff I recall when I think of dad's gigs...and you know the sweetest thing? He would tell the whole crowd that the beautiful ladies sitting at the tables were his beautiful wife and two of his daughters, and would proceed to sing a song dedicated to mom...forgot the song, though! Supposedly, it was the song my mom heard him sing that made her fall in love with him. Yup, their love is what I call 1 in a million...

The song playing now---Fidelity by Regina Spektor...Likin' the chorus...it goes, "It breaks my heart, breaks my he-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-art"...Lol! My mood now is pretty normal, but bored to tears...wish I could teleport myself to Brazil to party and Mardi Gras 'til i'm dizzy...Sigh, wishful thinking!

The song now---If You Could Only See by Tonic (love Tonic! The band, not the booze...), and i'm outta here! Woohoo, TGIF!!!

Comments (0) Full article

Ever seen people that are so plastic, that you see right through them? Oh gawd, sometimes I wonder how anyone could not just punch 'em right in the face.

Used to have a friend like that. In your face, she's all smiling, complimenting, kissing you on both cheeks (face cheeks...what were you thinking?), then, as you turn your back, she's bad-mouthing you...

Wow, one thing to talk about that person, but to talk about a person's family? Whoa...what a jerk-off! Luckily, I slowly drifted myself away, coz you never know what she might be talking about me! I realized this after she started bitching about our best friend...Hmmm, I guess some girls are real bad! Things have never been better since then....

No more lying on her behalf, protecting her from being busted by her parents, answering their phone-calls, only to lie!!! I totally hated that...they (the parents) were so nice to me! Now, I see her once in a while...I just say hi and bye!

Well, I know i'm kinda contradicting myself by writing about her...BUT this is like a journal...I release my thoughts right here...kinda like therapy. Plus, only a couple of people who read this know me...Wait, why am I explaining myself again? My conscience is clear, damnit!

Currently, I have best friends who are totally real...not plasticky(Is that a word???), caring, supportive, and all that jazz...love 'em to death! I know we never hangout as often as we should, but we still keep in touch...I thank God that where there are nasties, there are nice, genuinely sincere people. If there wasn't, life would totally be a bitch-fest.

Where there are nasties, there is karma...and karma is so good! I've seen it work, and man does it give you revelations...Ooooh, let's talk about karma in my next post! Lots of karma-inspired anecdotes to talk about!

Comments (0) Full article

Ok, Devo's song was the title...just couldn't think of any appropriate title for this post...basically, i'm just gonna ramble on today's agenda...so, here goes!

Mom's having the baby in the middle of May. Can't believe i'm gonna be a sister all over again...aged 20! Man, when this stunner (I suppose she would be...don't the younger ones ALWAYS look better?) turns 20, i'll be 40! OMG, that would be so fuckin' weird. People would probably think i'm her mother. Damn, mom and dad! Can't y'all have had this baby around 12-15 years ago? Gosh! (In Napoleon Dynamite mode...)

Now, on to other things...STPM results will be announced in the middle of the month. Oh God, please grant me a 4.00 cgpa...i'm so freakin' scared, thinking about the day I hold THAT result slip makes me wanna pee in my pants!

However, i'm looking forward to uni/college...can't wait to experience one of the most memorable years of my life! Hey, maybe i'll find Mr. Right then! Hahahaha, nawww, I doubt it!

Comments (3) Full article

So, the other day, my mom and I went looking around for my dad's gift...we thought of buying him a nice watch, as his old one is all worn-out...plus, he once told me he liked a round watch, instead of the square one he had.

With that in mind, mom and I hunted for the perfect watch, and found it! He loved it, and we're happy about that! Gosh, sometimes my dad could be such a softie...and that keeps me in a good mood!

Other than that, I catched a teaser of Spiderman 3, coming out in May, and boy oh boy, was it great! Just thinking about all the drama, action makes me all excited about it! I can't hardly wait, yo! Woot...

Hmmm, what else? Well, just paid around 50%-60% of my minimum wage to my list of IOUs...Yup, the driving lessons, dad's gift, and now I can't buy a thing for myself...Oh snap!

Guess what? Kanye West is coming here for a concert...that's awesome! I wanna go, and so does my sister...so, who's gonna pay for those damn tickets, you ask? Well, this blog wouldn't be called "Life's Sick Lil' Games" if it wasn't yours truly, now would it?

So there goes my money from my blood, sweat and tears...there goes the laptop I was saving for, there goes the pairs of shoes I was hoping to buy, there goes the clothes, the make-up, necessities, etc...

Well, I'm happy to say, at least i got something. I found out I won a Sony mp3 walkman in the Sony Soundaholic Contest...at least that's something, right? I almost called my aunt in the US to buy me an iPod Nano...which i were to pay for...it's much much cheaper over there than it is here! But then, when I was thinking of my lack of money, this happened! So, now i'm just a little bit happier! If ever I feel lonely, confused, angry, or anything else negative, I can always tune in to my audio downloads...music always keeps me cool and calm.

Ok, maybe i'll blog later again, since i've nothing better to do! Toodlez!

Comments (0) Full article

Yesterday, I went to church with my family. Later on, my sister went for her catechism class, and told my parents during the last minute, that there was a meeting for parents for the Confirmation candidates...you see, I'm Catholic (I guess a VERY liberal one!), and my family is big on all these sort of things. I had my Confirmation years ago. So, since it was "parents only", I was chased out of the meeting room...LOL!

Out of sheer embarassment, I went into the church, sat on the pew, and contemplated...

After my family, I have friends...but, other than them, I have a very solitary life! I am reaching 20 this year, and I can't believe I haven't been in a relationship, I haven't gone on weekend trips with my friends, haven't been into a club/pub/disco/whatever...I haven't been kissed, haven't traveled outside of my country, haven't done many things a teenager should! Not even been to a concert!

After thinking of all this, I started to get blurry-eyed...What a waste of my youth, just being at school...not that I haven't done fun stuff, it's just that I haven't done any MAJOR stuff that would make me remember my teenage years when I'm like, 40 years old...and I want to, very much!

I became very moody since thinking about this. Very bitter and grumpy...had arguments with my dad. Guess I kinda resent him for keeping me in a cage. Why can't I seem to rebel against him? Well, it's Monday, the 5th of March, and it's his 46th birthday today...So, I guess I better call him and wish him now!

Comments (0) Full article

What a day today has turned out to be...nothing to do...for real, man! I feel like taking a nice long nap while i'm here having a useless day, but my boss is always around...haha! I really don't deserve to get paid for sitting down, and surfing the net the whole day, I tell ya...but i ain't telling my boss!

Other than that, I hope every day that some cute guy would just walk into the office...but that hasn't happened yet, LOL! Well, a girl can dream, can she? It's not like i'm gonna do anything...I'm the type of person that crushes from afar, and doesn't do a thing about it coz she's too damn chicken and afraid of possibilities. Yup, that's me! ("Ya yeller-bellied wuss!") I'd just admire beauty from afar...It's kinda fun that way...really!!! (Poor gal is in denial!)

When you see someone hot/cute, you kinda get this sudden rush of a 'feel-good' feeling...I think it's some sort of brain chemical release...Yeah, that's it! Hahaha, I love that feeling! Let me give you an example:

This one time, I was having a hell of a bad day at school...so at the end of school, basically nothing much happens...we all go home.

On this particular day, I accompanied a friend to buy some meds for her mom. So, we stopped by a pharmacy...and boy, was the pharmacist hella cute! Then, me and my friend exchanged knowing glances, and proceeded to giggle like little starstruck Hello Kitty-kawaii-obnoxious schoolgirls once we exited the pharmacy! A cute pharmacist...what are the chances? That totally made my day...

So that's how I feel when I pass by or meet cute guys...they are like eye candy to me...I'll say it again: HOT GUYS = EYE CANDY!!!

P.S.: If you think you're ugly, and are disgusted (jealous) by what this post conveys, don't hate me...I don't discriminate! Hate the brain chemicals!!!

So, there goes my Friday ramblings...yes, nothing significant to say today, just plain ol' boring stuff...TGIF!!!

Comments (0) Full article

"I'm so in love with you, i'll be forever blue...That you give me no reason, why you're makin' me work so hard...that you give me no, that you give me no, that you give me no, that you give me no...SOUL, i hear you calling...oh baby please...give a little respect...tooooo meeeee!" -Erasure

That is one of my favorite songs from the '80s...watched a re-run of Scrubs, you know...when the song kept looping in JD's mind over and over and over again, and was spreading around the hospital like a virus? Hahaha, that was great! I mean really, these types of songs are classic! Original!

The '80s could be summed up as fashion-wrecked, but the songs were superb! Mind you, i was born in the year 1987, but i appreciate these songs much more than say, the songs of the 2000s (is that how you say it?)...I mean what song can you remember from 2005 that could be considered as a classic? I can't...And the teen flicks? LOL...Who couldn't name at least 3 teen movies of the '80s? St. Elmo's Fire, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club...Yup, those were some fun movies!

I guess this is one of my nonsensical ravings...i have them at least five times a month! I know, i'm a weirdo...but hey, there's no one else like me, y'all!!!

Comments (0) Full article

How nice it would be if my life was like a romantic comedy...LOL! Could you say Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, and all the other rom-com shit? Gawd, that would be fun!!!

Having friends tell me i'm more likely to get killed by terrorists then finding somebody...then, out of sheer serendipity, i find Mr. Right! Or maybe he was in front of me and i didn't realize it until he was halfway around the world, then i would go after him...begging the flight attendant that i can't miss the plane coz i'm after the man i love? Yup, that would be just how i would want my life to be!

Alas, life does not imitate art...in my 20 years on this good Earth, i have only known a few decent guys...some of them gays, some are taken, some are friends (my principle: dating friends result in losing a friendship. Go figure!)...Some are after one thing, and that just makes me sick! Some think that they are all that! Some think that they can touch, grab, pinch, or jerk-off in front of young school-girls! Yeah, the latter happened to me before while i was getting home from school with a friend! What we both experienced was traumatizing...Not to mention, there was nothing much to look at, if you know what i mean...LOL!

The grabbing part happened before too, when i was around 13...yeah, a fugly motorcyclist played the "i'm lost" card and took advantage of a young girl's naivety by grabbing her boobs!

You know what's funny? The friend i was walking with earlier told me the same thing happened to her before too! Hahahaha...i guess that is why we both are very cynical towards men. We always think there's an ulterior motive when a guy tries to be all "nice" to us...

So now, what am i gonna do? Just let someone in? Hah, like it's that easy...Well, i hope that my cynicism will not drive me to utter loneliness and self-destruction. I so want the idea of the perfect man...Could it ever happen? Well, someone might prove me wrong, i hope!

All the best to girls (and guys) waiting for their ideals to become a reality!

Comments (0) Full article

The Priss Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDf) Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss. Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy. These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards. Your exact opposite: The Playstation Random Gentle Sex Master You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing. ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy CONSIDER: The Manchild Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: Georjie

Comments (0) Full article

Yeah, i still am coming to terms that i'm not going for Muse's concert, although it could be one of the highlights of my age (19---but only 'til April 28th!). Somehow, i just don't wanna think about it, but you can't, when every commercial on TV seems to be promoting it!

It's like they're trying to shove it in your face that you can't go...like they're saying "Ha-ha" in the Simpsons manner. You know, that kid from the Simpsons, the one always going, "Ha-ha"! LOL...

Yeah, now where can i seek comfort? No one really is as obsessed with this concert as i am (i think!)

Sometimes, you just go, "Life's sick little games...now i get it!"

Comments (0) Full article

Oh my Gawd...I keep dreaming that i am going for Muse's concert this coming Sunday. Shit, man! I hate it; that all the tickets are sold out. I feel like crying when i think about all the people who are going for this special concert! I hate it that this could be the best concert ever in Malaysia, and i'm gonna miss it!!!

It certainly is gonna be huge, seeing that an alcoholic beverage is the sole-sponsor for the concert...Damn!!! And you know what's the best part? No "Rempits" and gediks allowed!!! If you live here in Malaysia, you'd catch my drift!

How i wish i could go...My budz wouldn't want to, but i could find others who would. The problem is...tickets are sold out!

Now i'm gonna keep on dreaming about this until the concert is over. I really am gonna wallow in self-pity and biterness now...

So, toodlez...bitches!!!

Comments (0) Full article

Here is what i dreamt about...

I was going out of my office building...walking on the ground level, when suddenly i find myself walking into a dorm room...and i see an old guy friend! I seemed happy to see him, and he introduces me to two of his friends, who i swear i haven't seen before. All of us seem to hit it of! They sure seem to like teasing me, and i suddenly pull a playful, sad face...Then all of them say, "Awww, we're sorry..."

All of a sudden, i find myself outside, walking near an apartment unfamiliar to me...old and dark-ish...i sense that my guy friend is trying to call me, and i don't know why. When i answer the phone (which somehow was there, hanging from a chain on my neck), it's actually my mom, asking me why am i not home yet? In that particular minute, i get scared...I mean what the hell am i doing here? I run as fast as i could, and i reach an unfamiliar playground...

The playground is dark. The only lights are the street lights. I see a few children, and i get out of there.

As i walk the lonely road, i see a man running away from the cops! It seems he is a German (???). At least, that's what the neighborhood watchmen are saying (i don't even know where the hell they came from!). The German is caught, and said to be a murderer...

Now, i'm carrying a baby...my bro/sis that my mom had just given birth to...it was smiling...and very very big for a newborn.

Then, i see myself in a cinema...an unknown movie going on. I'm walking towards a lit area with someone, but i just don't know who! This someone is holding my hand...Man, this is weird!

This was a long, unfulfilling journey for me. I wanted to go home, and i was taken into this realm of the bleakness...To places i've never been, people i've never known! All for what? I was lost throughout the journey...feeling scared and alone...and confused! The common denominator of all the places? I WAS WALKING! I really was walking like hell...everywhere...non-stop!

I don't know, it all seems like a very weird dream...can anyone interpret this? And why do i still remember it so vividly? It was like a cocktail of a week's dream, and i find it unusual that i woke up tired!

Comments (0) Full article

Here it is, the day every person in love waited for...Valentine's Day! I've dreaded this day for days...and why?

My mom feels sorry for me coz i don't have a valentine (whatever that means), my sister is all googly-eyed the whole day, talking to her boyfriend, some friends ask me why have i STILL not had a boyfried, my other friends who are single start hatching a plan to boycott V Day, TV shows about romance, and how its still NOT dead keep getting thrown into my eye sockets, blinding me further with idealistic views on love and romance, and i could go on...but i won't!

Why is it wrong to be single without everybody (not all) being all up in your face with "Why? Why? Why?"

I'm single, and that's my prerogative, damnit! If i would've settled for less, i'd had many relationships by now...but i don't, and i'm happy with that choice. I'm happy being alone, independent, stong, confident, etc. I don't think i would have any of these traits and experiences if i had a relationship.

As much as i want to, the simple answer is, I still haven't found the right guy! The right guy who makes me have butterflies in my stomach, the right guy who makes my heart skips a beat whenever we meet, the right guy who makes me think of him day and night, the right guy who i can't get enough of, the right guy, the right guy...
THE RIGHT GUY!

So, what can i do? Wallow in bitterness? NO!!! I'm gonna hang out, watch some cartoons, read a book, listen to some music, talk to my parents, and just NOT think about it.

Comments (0) Full article

Everybody!!! Head to the safe spots for cover, the attack of V Day is almost here...Oh geez, i can almost smell the love in the air...Dinner tables booked, roses ordered, chocolate candy hearts, in a heart-shaped box, jewelry, the whole enchilada!

Okay, maybe i'm a little bitter, but isn't it true? You see that special someone every day, and yet only profess your love, shower 'em with gifts and buy 'em hiked-up priced roses...and for what? Just to prove you're not alone? Just for one miserable day? Heck, you should do it every freakin' day of your life...Same goes for Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, and all the other days...

If it wasn't for this awfully commercialized day, i would think it is a day to commemorate a saint, who died for love...something so special to his heart...LOVE! And i only wish i could experience what he strived for. But nowadays, who knows about St. Valentine at all?

Wow, i guess i am bitter!

Comments (0) Full article

So I followed mom to the supermarket after work...poor mom looked like she could pop the baby out at any minute (only 5 and 3/4 months, and she's sooo big!)...Went to buy stuff for cooking and basic necessities.

Goin' back home, i carried most of the stuff. I'm 5 ft 2, but very VERY often, i'm hailed a strong little boy by my dad (He thought i was a boy when they looked at the ultrasound) and often carry heavy things, fix electronic appliances at home, yada yada yada...but that's another story! Will follow up on that on the next post...

So, we were walkin' down the stairs. Just before that, i told my mom to be careful while goin' down. Then the ironic thing happened (READ: Life's Sick Lil' Games!)...I almost fell down!

Wtf? All the groceries (very heavy!) I was carrying fell from my hands, as my fuckin' medium high-heels got caught on the foldings of my jeans, makin' me tip over.

Gawd!!! I swear, i would have or could have fallen down flat on my face, broken my neck, my nose, my chin, etc if it wasn't for my guardian angel! I was carrying canned stuff, and you should've seen the dents caused by the fall. Those stairs are high!

The thing is, somehow, i did NOT fall over...I just didn't! I should've, but didn't! I'm very lucky, very VERY lucky! If you saw the staircase, and how i tripped, you would've seen that a resulting fall would've had me bite the dust!

So now, after always hearing people being saved by their guardian angels, i could say that I too, have been saved by mine!

Thank you, my guardian angel, thank you! I'm sure that you've saved me many a times, but this time, I realized it! So, thank you...God bless!

Comments (0) Full article

I have this problem. This guy keeps pestering me by calling, sending me SMSes. Even anonymous ones (I know it's definitely him), and frankly, it's beginning to scare me. He and i became friends when i worked at some place. JUST friends, and i make it clear, every time. Yet, he kept calling me, and calling me, and calling me...

Now that I left that place (which was around, i dunno, 2 years ago!), i thought he would just get fed up with all the calls he's been giving me, seeing that i don't pick up when i see his number.

Ok, so he stopped for awhile, and i was sooooo happy. Now, recently, a mysterious number appeared on my cell, so i answered, and what do you know, there he was! Oh shit! I couldn't say anything, so i talked out of courtesy. I did NOT lead him on or anything...just remained curt and polite!

Yesterday, he sent me an SMS, begging me to send him my photo, and it sickened me! I said, "NO! I do not send out my photo to ANYBODY!" to which he replied, "Please, do this for me...and i'll send you mine." I replied, "X", for no...and he didn't send anything else. I hope he got the message.

Some people just get on my nerves. Why don't they get the message? (no pun intended) Besides, never in my life have i met someone like this...I smelled desperation+dependency on him from day one. So, please avoid being friends with these kinds of people, who can't get a clue, can't get a life, and yada yada yada...

Why do i feel that i have this magnet for these kinds of people? Why can't i attract someone i could be in love with, like, or even get along with? Aaaarrrggghhh!!! I always, always, always attract people i don't like!!!

Please let this guy find somebody who will love him, someone he deserves...NOT me! And let him be gone from my life!

NOW, i say...BEGONE, you mo' fo'...BEGONE!!!

Comments (0) Full article

-This is a satirical tale to summon my Prince Charming (like as if he exists)-

Dear Prince Charming,

What is taking you so long? People are beginning to wonder what the hell is wrong with me? Now tell me, when can i start creepin' out of the house (in my tower of solitude) to go for dates with you?

Have you found someone else? Should i find me another? Geez, another one bit the dust just a few weeks ago...Before taking his last breath, he uttered the words, "Damn you, bitch! What the hell do you think you're doing? Waiting for some guy that does not exist in THIS world...You must be joking...take me as yours and settle for less, coz you ain't gonna get any if you don't!"

I then smothered him in his sleep! (less suffering!)

Then, an old drunk asked me a few days ago, "How old are you now? 20? Whoa, haven't had a boyfriend? You're weird! Is there something wrong with you? Are you a lesbo or something?"

I told him i was straight, and that i'm driven to achieve my ambitions, and i don't need a man to "complete" me, whatever that means(taken from Jerry Maguire)...

He said, "Oh, i see...you're one of those ultra-feminists who is probably gonna artificially inseminate herself coz you don't wanna marry, right? Well, now i can see why you're single!"

I then switched his beer with cat piss...he didn't notice any difference!

Next, i bumped into Snow White, who just had a divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as the problem...She is now seeking full custody of the kids! Also met Cinderella...seems that her Prince Charming was caught in bed with the stable boy...he now plans to wed the stable boy in the UK, seeing that gay marriage is welcomed with open arms.

So, now, for my case, oh my special one! I don't know when you will be coming my way, but for now, all i can do is dream of the perfect guy, with the perfect smile, the perfect brains and brawn, perfect sense, and equipped with the perfect tehcniques for...cooking!

While i know you probably are looking for Princess Perfect, rather than myself, you can expect to see me in some bookstore, in the Political/Philosophy/Psychology/Literature section, reading for free to pass the time. Maybe you'll see me watching a movie with friends, shopping with my sister (who's happily 'married'), having lunch with someone as driven as me, and yada yada yada.

Or maybe we'll pass each other by without realizing it...if this happens, feel free to throw a fit in public and drown your sorrows over alcohol, okay? Maybe with your beer goggles, you'll discover me somewhere...and then, we'll live happily ever after, with alcohol to sustain us, and people bugging us no more! Woohoo for beer!


PS: This is just a joke...I do not drink, nor am i condoning it...As i said earlier, i tend to ramble when i feel like crap...so this whole Prince Charming shenanigan is just driving me nuts, coz certain people tend to annoy me about it...SO, THERE!!! Take it, you assholes! (Them assholes are comp illiterates, so, bonus points for me!!!)

PPS: This tale is purely fictitious. Any relevance of this story to real life is merely a coincidence. No animals (humans) were harmed during the writing of this story...

Comments (0) Full article

Do you ever eat, even when you're full from the meal you just ate? I hate it!!! Oh gosh, when i'm not at work, when i'm just stuck at home, i keep looking into the fridge, like as if some other food is gonna miraculously appear...

If i don't find any, i'll just go back to the sofa and watch tv...then, when there's a commercial, i repeat the cycle. Why, oh, why do i do this? It's driving me nuts. Is there a cure for food hunting out there?

One more thing i failed to mention...when/if i fail to find anything that fits my fancy, i make me a sandwich...and then i wonder where i get the jelly-belly!

One thing i have to restart is my exercise regime...i used to exercise, then i stopped for no apparent reason. Well, here is a good reason to start all over again. Wish me luck, bitches!!!

Comments (0) Full article