Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I Wanna Be XO...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I know it has been a long time...but here I am, typing every thought which is in my head...don't think of it as anything important, coz I sure can write some crazy stuff when I don't filter don't take it as me being conceited or anything like that, k?

Is it wrong to wanna be extraordinary? What does it take? Does it require you to give up an area of your life which people deem as important?

All I ever wanted since I was young was to be different. To be somebody. To give my parents all I that they can say all their sacrifices had been worth it. To give my sisters the big house, all the things they want and need...and more!

Can I achieve this? I really want to, but I don't know if I have it in me...and I surely need God to be with me all the way. Coz in this world, nobody is gonna give you what you this world, you're gonna have to get out there and take it! Coz you can get whatever the hell you want, as long as you have the courage to receive it.

This past few months have been awesome in terms of learning and I keep telling people...I'm basically a sponge...and I hope I keep learning throughout my whole life...

Another thing is, I know I always say this, but sometimes I feel so miniscule, so minute in this I am a part of something bigger...just like everyone else...I feel that we are all connected...we are of the same web. Weird, I know...but yeah, it's how I feel. Geez, this is so random...

Ok...a weird story, as per below:

I saw this young man in the training center I go to. I don't know, but he kept staring at me and my friends intensely for a long time. Then, a few days later...I saw him again while I had to go to the bathroom...they were renovating the one nearby, so I had to go to the one far away...and there he was, walking behind me. I didn't think of anything at that moment...

Fast forward to a few hours later, he accidentally opened our door...and probably mistakenly came into our training room. We laughed (all of us, coz he was pretty panicked, AND it was funny!) All of a sudden, I felt something inside me say, "'s him!!!", and I felt this intense feeling in the pit of my something crazy was going on and I felt confused and shit...

I for one, don't know what the hell it means, but it was like I was waiting for this guy to come into my life or something...yes, it was that BIG ok! Soooo intense, that I became super quiet and anxious all of a sudden. It fuckin' freaked me out...and no, it wasn't like I had a crush on this guy coz I sure haven't seen him enough to be crushing on him. But the feeling was like I knew him...even though I'm sure I don't. Hmmm, like we've met before...even though I'm sure we haven't!

So, the moral of the story is...I love this program so far coz it's full of learning experiences...and the other is...I'M A CRAZY NUT!!!

Ok. The end. For now.