Life's Sick Lil' Games...

I won't go into details, but I'm glad all the late nights and sacrifices had been worth it! I'm not really happy about the other papers (attained a B for one paper)...but I guess it's ok! If only I had this GPA for the previous semesters, then I'd be happily accepting a degree with Distinction...but I guess "with Honors" will do just fine.

My parents are saying they're so proud of me, though I keep saying it's no biggie...I didn't get outstanding grades, just average like most people...what I'm most proud of is that I did my best for my thesis, and it showed...

I'm happy that my friends got good grades as well...and ALL OF US will be taking our scrolls together...we have done it, guys! I'm proud of us not because of our CGPAs (but I guess it's okay if you wanna count them, lol!)...I'm proud because we have gone through all sorts of crap...and it served as lessons and as a preview of the real world we are about to enter into. The world where everything is a race, and our wages or employment depend on it.

Very soon, some of you might get married and have kids...some of you might build an empire...some of you might just be the next pioneer of some great team...some of you might just be an individual trying to make ends meet, but one thing we all have in common is that we are working to provide ourselves food, shelter and clothes on our backs not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones...

I hope to remember that in order to achieve my dreams, I have to just take a moment to be grateful for what I have...my wonderful parents. God has truly blessed me, for I could have easily been born into a family without proper regard for education...without love...without good principles...I could have stopped schooling and become a hooker walking the streets at night...I could have been a nobody, begging for money on the streets...but God put me in this family, and now I am graduating with a thesis in which, amazingly got an A (I hope it wasn't a mistake or something...that would just kill my mom who told the whole world...lol, go figure! You know mothers!!!).

I am graduating with a 2nd-class upper honors (2:1)...yeah, it might be something mediocre...but hey, a lot of mediocrity is bound to produce some extraordinary achievements, right? So my friends...with all the optimism of a fresh grad...I wish you all the best! Take failure as lessons, and achievements with humility...I hope to one day meet you again as leaders, mothers, pioneers, moguls, and the like...then, in all your greatness I shall remind you of our times in campus...all of 'em...

PS: I'll always "remember" coz everything is documented in this blog...hahahaha!

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WOW!!! OMG IT'S REALLY DONE AND MY VARSITY LIFE IS OVER...OVER, I TELL YA!!!

So...now what? Lemme get to thinking and I'll let me know...yes, you read it...ME! Coz I sure as hell still don't have a plan...my plans went down the drain about a year after my first year at uni...

...damn! Somebody...help. Anybody? OMG...

Okok, the story first...my thesis editing went on like Hell's Kitchen during the periods of chaos...OMG, then there came a time where my MS Word started giving problem because I stupidly did this whole 'page break' thing...so in the end, I couldn't insert page numbers, and A sorta got into the whole mess...It was almost 4pm, and we were supposed to be printing the work already!!! So A offered to let me use her laptop to fix it...but I failed...SHIT!!! And I still had more to do like the references and shit like that! Didn't even proof-read the whole thing!

Thank God A managed to figure it all out and put the pages in for me...sorry coco! I'll always be grateful... :')

Then, we started getting to our destination...A also found out from her friend about this place just outside of campus that makes thesis hard covers in just a day...of course, we had to pay extra, but we didn't care! So we asked the lady and she confirmed this...so we paid about 2 times the price I think...but seriously...I had no regrets...just as long as it was done!

And then we paid almost 90 bucks...that's including printing out 2 copies of the thesis, with multiple reprints because we didn't proof-read our writings, LMAO!!! Now, that was funny...but in the end, we left with a slight feeling of accomplishment!

The next day, I managed to pass it up on the day itself...the 5th of May 2010, in which a huge burden left my shoulders after I signed that final form...I had to go without the partner in crime coz Dad had to use the car so I had to hurry...boo!

Then, as I walked towards the car, it hit me...

"It's over...just like that?"

It felt so surreal...every single time I tell myself that an intensely chaotic period will pass...it does, of course...but this...this whole experience...it's really over! Oh.my.God.

I came home and slept like a baby...seriously been like a zombie running on caffeine and junk. Now I have the chance to cut the intake...hopefully my skin will get better soon...and those inches gained throughout uni will melt away with a new regiment...I hope!!!

Now, I'm supposed to be focusing on this work thing I have in Damansara...I was hired for a short stint at an events company. They need a receptionist. I need to make some money. However, I have no idea how to get there so looks like I have to do some homework...and of course, I don't even know if it's worth the pittance I'll be making, since it's quite far from my place...hmmmm...well...why not, eh? At least I won't be stuck being too much of a couchie at home...which I am right now, heheheh! Of course, I'm paying back for all the times I've missed at home...and you know what? By the time I start working...I mean OFFICIALLY...I'll be working like a slave for the rest of my life, won't I? So let me revel in my high-density sloth!!!

All this while planning the trip to France...yes, people...the trip is on...and for now, it shall be my main focus (among other things, lol!)...there's lots to do. Many have pulled-out due to this and that...but we shall overcome and like I said, God knows and never disappoint...now I know why it didn't happen in May...HE knew we wouldn't be able to make it on that particular date...HE knew...and HE is going to make it happen for us in November...so, I pray that it happens at this moment...I know in my heart that this trip will change me in some way...I don't know what and how, but it will...

For now...I bid my formal education adieu...and I don't know what the future holds for me, but I certainly plan to further my studies down the road...one thing about me is...I do something and finish it...so I'm glad I finished this Degree in IR...and finished all the levels of the French language at UKM with my friends (learning French has been my dream since primary school so I'm glad, so glad...I finally managed to learn it)...at least now I know that I actually DON'T love IR, lol! So, in essence...I'll be taking a Masters Degree in something I love. I'll just need the time to figure out what I love...this will be a toughie, since I love so many things...

Good luck to all my dear friends...you are going to face a whole different battle now. Congratulations on this particular one...it has been a honor to fight the fight right beside you! ;)

The next post will be a tribute to all of you...hehehe! Why not, eh? I'm free now so let me be! Okay, gonna go chill with the 'Boobettes' tomorrow...my other circle. See ya!

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The title sums up how I've been feeling these past few weeks; cooped-up in this room, pressure building from worries, anxiety, zits, belly fat, etc...all coz i've not been moving much...just moving from the seat to my bed, and to the seat again (save for buying food, bathing, toilet breaks and going home for awhile...), the stress shows on my face and body coz I haven't been taking care of it since the beginning of the semester! -____-

After all the crap of anxiousness and panic, I kept repeating, "God help me, God help me, God help me..." while trying my best to help myself think clearly and ridding myself out of a writer's block!

Today, I completed the final draft and nervously went to see my supervisor. The first few minutes was excruciating, as he was reading quite silently...he then started to correct a few technical errors such as hyphenations and explained that I needed footnotes as well as the author-date system...okaaaay, looks like everybody gives me different information...dang! But I was more interested in the contents...was it correct or wrong...or???

"Well, this is after all YOUR findings, so I can't be the one to say that you're wrong..."

-____-

So he goes on to say that his responsibility is to check on my first and last chapter...the correlation, the format, the essence of my dissertation...it took quite awhile till my classmate under his supervision as well came knocking...she has completed hers and is ready to bind it! Whoaaa...

So then he said what I should amend, talked a little about the formatting (UKM style sucks...go with Chicago style, lmao!), etc...and I asked him about minimum pages...and he actually said that there's no minimum! WHOAAA!!! Ok!!! And what about the literature review? He said, "...about five books." Whaaaat??? Hahahaha...and I was flustered at all this revelations...damn, I should've asked him before...

So for now, I'm back...bought some lunch! Now, a huge burden is lifted and I have the whole weekend to do this shit of a thesis! Oh holy crap, I forgot...I have to move out, stat!!! Awww man!!!

For now all I have is one thing to say, and that is thank you God for letting me finish in time for my appointment with Dr. X...at least I could do it during the weekend! God is great!

PS: Wee, I so wanna go, k? Next weekend? Sorry...but i'm up for drinks if you are! Miss you guys...;)

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What would I do without you?

It's not hard for me to admit...you keep me sane. It's too organic; the way I find it easy to let it all out - through you. Heck, you're like an addiction!

I wish I could find something which I love as much as I love writing stuff in my head down in this thing called a blog...I'm not kidding!

3 years of tertiary studies almost ending, and I've still yet to have a clear road to where I'm heading. It's kinda like I'm driving a car on a dark desert road, not knowing where I'm going. The headlights are on, but all I can see are the next 20 feet...and nothing beyond.

I already made my choice not to join the diplomatic corps, much to my mom's disdain. Well, I always thought that I wanted to be a diplomat...but maybe what I actually wanted was to travel. Yes, I am quite ok when it comes to following protocols and shit...but is that ME? Hell no!

I know what I want to achieve, and yet I know not how to get there...and that, my pretties...is the beautiful letdown!

...know something?

What I'm doing right now is finding another reason not to finish my thesis! Wtf. Will continue soon as I send my draft. At least I'm done with my final group assignment...speaking of assignments...M,A and F...I think we need a group name. So in the future, I can refer to us as one entity...suuweeet!!!

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Finally I got an answer from the US Embassy!!! It helps...a lot!!!

Thank you God!!! Now I have ample data to complete this shizz... :P

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Read: I HATE THIS!!!

I have been really trying my best to MAKE myself complete this thing called a thesis...but I fail as soon as I start! What the hell is wrong with me? I am in an utter mess...all this attempt to lock myself in my room to focus has been utterly useless...so far, I have been doing useless stuff like watching movies, playing the bloody rusty-stringed guitar...basically everything except my thesis!!! Heck, I've been reading-up on physics, can you believe it? Epic fail!!! PHYSICS!!! A subject I used to hate while I was studying it!!! OMG...

Please, God...I beg of you...please please please give me the strength to finish this before the deadline...coz it's really driving me up the wall...it's not that I can't, the problem is that I won't! I know it doesn't make sense, but that's just it! I won't do it...Ok, I can't understand it myself...

Okok...I guess i'll try again...but God, please be with me this time! Please, please, pretty please?

Speaking of other stuff...I found this treasure of a classic out of AFI's top 10 classic list (SEE WHAT I MEAN???)

It's called 12 Angry Men, a black and white courtroom drama. 12 jurors' need to decide on a boy's life; whether he's guilty beyond reasonable doubt or innocent. It's simply riveting, compelling...remarkable! No wonder it's a classic! It seems like a low-budget film, since the set is rather limited...the story itself is what got me glued throughout the movie. Glad for stumbling upon this gem...I think i'm now gonna try watching more classic movies...the B&W kind!

Other than 12 Angry Men, my other fave classic is It's a Wonderful Life, starring James Stewart. Ahhh, the classic "...everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings" is the kind you tend to keep in your head forever!

So after everything is done (THESIS arrrggghhhh!!!), i'm gonna try to get Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Ben-Hur, Spartacus, etc...Man, if only there was a movie scholar needed...I would certainly die for it!!!

Okaaay...back to reality! Wish me luck...God be with me! Amen.

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Okay...stressed out!!! Need to vent...

Sent couple of interview requests to relevant experts in my field of study...some e-mails were bounced back to me...arrrggghhh!!!

And I keep having a nightmare on how I won't make it on Tuesday...so many things...aarrrggghhhh...how do I get to MITI if I drive myself??? Arrggghhhh...after that, i will need to get back home, return the car and hurry off to UKM for some presentation, which is (trust me!) unnecessary!!! Ask my classmates...

I apologize to some of you for not being able to go watch certain movies and go to certain places...i really am! I sooo wanted to go catch that movie with you guys...as much as I really wanted to go to that MATTA Fair to go see for myself whether we could get some great deals or not...thank God one of you went there, so all is not lost! :)

Coupled with the thesis and presentations and unfinished assignments...I am almost a wreck...till I got some news regarding our Parisian trip. Got me into a deep hole of crap for a while during the weekend. Seriously, some people are selfish and just plain inconsiderate...I do not even wanna comment!

My Facebook has been un-suspended...I still do not know who reactivated my account...can you imagine? Here I am trying to limit myself to finishing my tasks, and here comes the e-mail notification that i have reactivated my account...i mean, WTF, right? I am too jaded to even care about this...all I know is that i have nothing to hide, so no worries there...changed all my passwords though...

PS: So much to deactivating Facebook, I am now a Tweeter...just don't add me yet ok!!! I am only registered, not active...yet! Hahahahaha...I know it's addictive!!! Addiction is baaaad for me! Tweet, tweet!

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I feel horrible; it happened in the morning...12 hours later and i'm still filled with guilt! As I was walking on sunshine, I hear a cracking sound...lo and behold, a live snail squirming in its cracked shell-home...WTF!!! Arrrggghhhh, I felt so guilty...still do!

God, I pray for that poor innocent snail who knew not that it was gonna die on this very day...I suppose it had no idea that its wonderful day in the sun would be over...just coz this girl decided to walk to her faculty on the very same day...

PS: I'm trying my best not to reactivate my Facebook account...it's really hard when all you wanna do is connect with your friends whom you never see...arrgghhh!!! Must.have.will.power.

Well, as bad as I wanna comment on everyone's profiles...I have have HAVE to try to finish at least 2-3 chapters before the month ends...OMG! Please God...I hope I make it happen! Wish me luck...

Of course, stopping myself from writing here would be ludicrous!!! Blasphemous!!! Pish-posh!!!

Finally watched that final episode of Glee...loved it (even if I knew how it eventually ends)...Epic!!! It was, IMO...the best episode ever!!! Woot!!! When Mr. Schuester finally races for Emma, then kisses her...OMG!!! I went "Wooohooooo...yesssss!!!"

Oh, and of course...I loved the Glee Kids' final performance at sectionals...hehehe!

"Don't Rain On My Parade" is one of my faves from Barbara the queen of SONG, hehehe! It was brilliantly sung by Lea Michele...then came "You Don't Always Get What You Want" by Rolling Stones...my eyes started welling-up coz Mr. Schuester was gonna cry (I can't see a man cry, don't ask me why...I don't know!) I think he did a very good job on this episode...great acting; especially when he discovered that his wife wasn't pregnant at all...Holy great intensity, Batman!

So much for distraction-control...epic fail! LMFAO...Okok, i'm done!

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Just wanted to write about something...nothing important, but just that if I had a wad of cash to buy anything I want...of course, for any sane girl, they would buy shoes and clothes and stuff like that. I would too, but next on the list would be the stuff I absolutely drool for...the electrical appliances...hahahah, don't you just love getting new gadgets to play with???

My secret wish...is to shop for any electrical appliance i want...OMG, that would be great!!! I just love going to the electronics aisle in stores, but...it just breaks your heart when you don't have the $$$ to splurge on such unnecessary items...hahahah!

I love those stainless steel refrigerators that spit ice-cubes...or those electric stove-slash-oven with a hood on the top (of course!)...and what about them cappuccino/espresso-makers or bread-makers or juicers? OMG...how awesome! I'm currently imagining my dream kitchen...now that would be my favorite place in my dream house!!! Of course, in the middle of the kitchen would be "the island" where I chop the veggies, slice the meat AND entertain 2-4 people while i'm cooking... *smiles while imagining*

Ok, noted...now I have to get back to attempting some writing on my thesis. Time is running out!!! Fuckedy-fuck!

PS: How the hell do I rearrange my sleeping pattern? It's fuckin' messed up!!! Arrgghhhh...ideas!!! Ideas!!!

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Paree holds the key to your heart...lol, ever heard of that song? It's from the animated film, Anastasia voiced by Meg Ryan and John Cusack...remember? It's produced by Don Bluth...one of those underdogs if you compare them to Disney, of course! But heck...I loved All Dogs Go To Heaven, and I love Anastasia too! :)))

So why am I talking about that song? Coz whenever I think of France..i think of the Eiffel Tower...i think of walking into a little french bistro and ordering a cafe creme, sitting on the Al Fresco table-setting outside the quaint place, overlooking a beautiful view...buttering a croissant, and just enjoying the day while watching people cycling, walking, playing, talking away while I try to finish Le Figaro (as if!!! I can't even speak proper French!!! LMAO) as I can't find a single English-languaged newspaper anywhere...and that, my friend...is when THE SONG comes in...ahahah!!!

Well, actually that's just one of the tunes I have playing on loop when I think of Paris...the other is La Vie En Rose by Louis Armstrong...but that's for the night-time, while I'm watching the lights on Le Tour Eiffel...heheheh...*smiles while the heart warms to the thought*

OK...daydream over!!! Back to reality...

So we (A and myself) submitted the paperwork to the relevant headquarter and were told to follow-up after 2-weeks...before we sent it out, we hoped for the best, and A gave the paper a kiss...then I followed suit! LMAO...dude, if it works...then you should kiss my lottery ticket!!!

Oh, and here's the website on the trip, by the way...can you guess which is me? Hahahaha...
http://www.lasbellaparis.blogspot.com/

So that's done, and now we wait...while waiting, I must now focus on my 3 unfinished tasks...one of them being my thesis!!! Ahhhhh, ZOMG!!! I was so preoccupied with finishing my term assignments and presentation that I totally brushed-off doing anything related to my thesis, and I hope that this doesn't screw with my momentum of finishing tasks! Coz once the momentum is gone...then it gets really bad, as I have a real hard time getting it back!!!

And wow does the time fly by real fast!!! Damn, it's already February...and I didn't even realize it till people kept posting Happy Chinese New Year on Facebook...shit! That leaves me around 2 fucking months to complete this thesis of mine...the pressure is on!!!

And to think, i'd have to travel back home tomorrow to sardine-packed trains...as i'm sure EVERYONE is gonna travel back to their respective homes...this being the holidays and all...

To great times and wishes come true...I wish all this for me and you! :)

Happy Chinese New Year...let us usher the year of the Tiger!!! Roarrrr!!! *Eye of The Tiger by Survivor plays in the background*

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I don't know why, but I get happy when my day is productive...I know, it's crazy to be happy just because of this...but mainly i'm happy because somehow the LoA has helped me once more...will explain later!

Woke up to go see our French lecturer to enquire many things regarding Lasbella. Got the info we needed mostly! I'm so stupid though...as secretary, I didn't do my job well enough coz I went and forgot to bring the paperwork...thank God he was kind enough to print out a copy for us (me and the Chairperson...Mlle A!) My apologies to A for my absent-mindedness...well, a lot of things to do to make this possible, but we need everyone to pull this together, and I pray this happens for us! Amen...

Then we went for our replacement class...which isn't so boring...dunno why, but I didn't get bored in class...maybe i've been sleeping too much...so I don't feel as sleepy as I used to! Hehehehe...

After lunching with F, we went (this is what made my day!) to the mini-library in the faculty...why? Because i finally took a second step towards understanding what goes into making a thesis...then, this is where LoA came in...a classmate who happens to have the same supervisor as me started asking me questions about my thesis...then I told her my problems regarding my thesis and whatnot...so her friend heard me and offered me this authority figure's contact info to ask for assistance. Seems that although this man is VIP, he's very keen with helping students with their problems...Oh, thank God!!! I thought i'd never get even ONE person to interview!!!

Thank God!!!

And thanks to F for taking me there...coz if you didn't wanna go, I would've not gone there as well...then i wouldn't have talked to KPK, then i wouldn't have gotten Y's help...

Thanks, universe...i'm smiling not only because i'm happy, but because i'm so relieved that I do not have to worry too much about finding contacts...that was all I was worried about actually. Coz in my topic, my supervisor wants me to interview many people...so maybe getting one or two would kick-off the momentum...hahah!

Please God, let me finish my thesis on time...and a good thesis at that!

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"Here comes Speed Racer...he's a demon on wheels..."

I so want to have the ability to do anything with lightning speed...damn! I don't know, it seems like I have little to do...and yet, there's a lot to do...ahahahah!!! Think i'm going blur...

My sister's (the middle child) resolution for 2010 is to live a healthy life...as inspired as I am, i'm realistic enough to realize that I can't...as much as I want to...there's no kitchen to cook my own food and eat healthy here in campus...the food they serve here is loaded with fat, oil, coconut milk, etc...but yeah...even more so, is when i'm here, I tend to eat ramen noodles, bread, and junk!!! Coffee is a staple I will never ever give up...so much so that I bought one of those vacuum-tumblers just so I can bring my coffee along when I don't have enough time to drink in the morning...LMAO!

And I bought one for my sis too, but shit...we bought the smallest size, which isn't enough for a "Tall" at Starbucks...fuck!!! We only realized this when it was too late, and we can't return it!!! Fuck...that was a funny incident though...hey, at least I get to pack my morning coffee! (I'm trying to comfort myself by repeating this statement everyday...)

Oh, did you know that there's another size in Starbucks called "Short", an 8 oz cup...it's smaller than the smallest on the menu, aka the "Tall" which is 12 oz...betcha didn't know, huh? It's a known secret among the chosen ones...lol! It's only a few cents less, so you might as well get the Tall, right? And it's only available for the hot drinks...uhhhh, why am I talking about this crap? Geez...

Oh yeah...watched Avatar last week...loved it! Wanna watch it again, but in 3D this time...but yeah...some friends do not like to spend more on some dumb glasses, so I guess...go figure! :'( Oh, and Sam Worthington is hot!!! Why the hell are the guys from Oz damn hot??? Hugh Jackman, Adam Garcia, Heath (RIP), Eric Bana...and now Sam!!! Damn, if only that damn accent wouldn't get to me...sorry, I find it annoying...maybe it's those "McLeod's Daughters" commercials on Hallmark...oh, and Kylie Kwong that Australian chef...damn, she annoys the hell outta me when she talks...*shudders* So ok, maybe it's not Ozzie's per se...maybe it's the individual...hahahaha!

Muse is gonna perform in Singapore and I wanna go!!! Ahhhhhh!!! I can't coz of the $$$ factor and of course, my thesis awaits...I saw my supervisor today, and luckily, I was given a more elaborate explanation as to wtf I should do...

Yes, i need to...no, i HAVE to interview officials from the various agencies under a certain ministry...damn! I would have to do around 5 chapters...and maybe tweak my conceptual framework...yes, it's more International and Political Economy rather than political dynamics of nations and policies...which I prefer. Now I have to get a letter from the uni just to get an interview...and all that shit! Arrrrgghhhh!!!

...but man, I'm pretty freaked out! LOL! Can I vent a little bit...like: FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!

Okay, okay...breathe!!!

Ok, done!

And it's just ten days away from that so-called concert...I don't know what the hell i'm supposed to do since Boss hasn't told me anything...don't even know if i'll get any money...I have to use a new number by the telco sponsoring the concert, but i'm not gonna use it...unless it benefits me.

Just look at this post...damn it's so messed-up...i'm not even making sense...just jumbling up any thoughts that come into my head...hahahah! Okay...maybe i've had too many cups of you-know-what!

Listening to: Walking On Air by Kerli...it's an awesome song!!! Kerli is Estonian, and she's so eccentric...sounds a bit like Bjork, and dresses like she's the female version of Bill Kaulitz...they should be together!!!

UPDATE: Kerli and Tokio Hotel will be collaboration on a single for the Alice in Wonderland soundtrack...OMFG! Hahahahahah...hope to hear their single soon! And yes, Kerli does look like an Alice...Tim Burton is such a genius! Love his work, especially when it involves Johnny Depp (yummo!) and his wife Helena Bonham-Carter...

Okay...done yapping! Maybe i'll write more later at night since my head is super-charged!!! Feel like a million bucks and i'm typing like the Energizer Bunny woot!!!

Toodlez, bitches!

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First thing's first; sorry for not updating for so freakin' long...it's been hell thinking about this poor blog, rotting away...but, here I am now!!! I've been very sick during the last week, from headaches to fever, to headaches, to tummy aches, to many other aches...

FINALLY!!! The money has been credited...bought most of the stuff I needed, paid my fees, and gave a grand to help Mom pay the bills and shit like that. Now i'm left with only a few hundred bucks, and that, I suppose I have to give to my sis (and maybe Dad too)! Lol, nothing left for me...Never mind, as long as i've settled the fees, I guess i'm ok...

What did I do that took most of my time away from you, blog? Here goes...

I was finishing an assignment. A very difficult one, it was!!! Me and my group had to do a multi-level-analysis on the Bosnian conflict...LOL! Dudes, this was NO easy task...journals upon journals, books to books. We basically had to use up everything in our brains to connect the dots. I tell ya, at one point, we didn't sleep for two days and one night! But, you know, I had a great group, finished on time, presented our work, handed out the work papers and got a 50-50 remark from the prof. Not what I was looking for, but it works for now!

Now I have to finish this assignment on Malaysia's foreign policy from the era of the first prime minister to the latest...I'm doing it alone...but not before another group task of Islamic Spain! How nice this is...LOL! I love I.R.!!!

I miss my family. I didn't go back for two weeks because of all the work. I hope my baby sis didn't forget her eldest sister...

You know what? I'm thinking of not joining the foreign service. I think a person of my race will not have a chance of promotion in this country (I could be wrong, though!)...I would love to travel the world on behalf of my country, and become somebody respected worldwide, though...I would love that very much! But, maybe something else would come along. Though, it would break Mom's heart, coz she really hopes that her daughter would become an ambassador...Anyway, it's all just something i'll consider, it's not final.

I still haven't found a single guy that fits my "LIST"...you know, "the list"...the whole brains, looks, kindness, good sense of humor, caring, etc...you know...that one! I think there aren't guys like that in this world...i'm not perfect, but I wish that I could experience that feeling of someone being in love (cue to Bjork's It's Oh So Quiet...)! That would be fun!

I'm a little committment-phobic. When I like someone, and he likes me back...for some reason I back off! Geez, i'm such a freaky weirdo! My younger sister is now in a four-year relationship...She has put me to shame...I think my baby sis will find her husband before I ever get a boyfriend...I need to do an analysis on myself and write a thesis!!!

I have such a thing for books, I can never get enough...some of the librarians now know me by name, I think! I'm reading Deliverance now...not done with 1984 by Orwell...had to give back Animal Farm coz I had to borrow more important stuff for my assignments...i'll get back to reading that as soon as I can!

Song playing in my MP3 player: Claire De Lune by Debussy...okay, okay for a rock-chick, what's wrong with a little classical piano? I like to keep things eclectic, baby!

So far, so good (jinx!!!)...I hope all goes well for now...till then, Toodlez bitches!!!

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