Life's Sick Lil' Games...

How did I get so lucky in life? I thank God every single day for being this way...charmed! I may not have been born with a silver-spoon in my mouth, but I have the best family I could ever dream of...the best friends who are the best people ever...and the basic things you need to survive...AND I am blessed!

I've always prayed to God to show me the way to what I want to achieve...you see, I have the vision and goal, but I don't know how to get there! It was always holding me back. My parents, as lucky as I am to have them always seem to put high expectations...and here I am, an average Jane...a grain of sand...a piece of clay waiting to be moulded!

I sometimes wonder what else can I do or learn to make myself better; Learn another instrument? Learn more about computer-languages? Learn how to fly? Well...I suppose I could learn everything but it's more about self-perception.

I'm slowly learning that there must be something within us...as well as something we all were put here to achieve. And from what I think, it's all up to us to dream...we create our vision for the future...but God blesses the road we take.

I know it all seems sudden...but I always wonder what I did to deserve such a fortunate journey...all I can do now is thank God and live every moment the way I want to live it...

Thank you, God for finally giving me the "brick" I needed! I'm only waiting for my new phase to begin.

Amen.

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My sister (the 20-year old one) has another cyst...this time on the corner of her face. She has to go for surgery tomorrow. The poor thing, I hope it all goes well. She's really strong...she showed be the probable scar that will be left, and it's actually kinda hardcore...from the ear, along the jawline...to the bottom of her ear till the neck...

You'd think it's huge...it is. But I think it'll fade off nicely just coz her doctor is an ENT specialist, so he's bound to know how to close the incision rather nicely.

Man...some things you just wished would happen to you (I mean ME) instead...she's had too many surgeries at 20 years of age...first two were the tumors on her breast. :(

One thing to be thankful for: It's benign...

Anyway, God give her strength to pull through...we will always always always be there for the original "Princess of the house". Perhaps she might work the scar and make it seem like a fashion statement, like her huge-ass tattoo (hehehe)...at least till one of us could afford plastic surgery. Yeah...the jokes...as usual, to cover my nervousness...i'm nervous for her, okay? I know...not cool!

Actually, after checking it out (I checked Google...where else?), the scar would seem unnoticable in 6 months due to the sutures done underneath the skin, whereas the skin would be sealed using 'Dermabond'...a glue-like substance commonly used for facial surgery...so I hope it all goes well. We're more worried about her facial nerves.

It's rather risky, the tumor is connected to the parotid gland, which is connected to the 5 nerves which control her facial movements...one slight mistake and she might not be able to do certain facial movements...so, of course...this is our main concern!

God, please let the surgery be a success!!!

Amen.

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My very close "Uncle J"; a family friend, and my little sister's godfather told us he had a very aggressive form of prostate cancer and has to go for chemo...damn! Doctors gave him about a year...

What can you say to someone who tells you this? My mom just started crying on the phone. I thank God I wasn't there at that time...and I'm sure glad it wasn't me who had to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

I am devastated...I hope everyone's prayers give him the courage and strength to pull through it all...and I pray that God wills him to stay more than the 1-year period the doctors had given him. God, only thy will be done. Please hear our prayers. Amen.

Coz he's a musician, his fellow performers are gonna organize a charity event...so I hope this shows him that his comrades care for him and I truly hope my baby sister will grow up with Uncle J around...coz I find him to be a wise man, quiet...but wise!

I hope I would come back in the future to write nothing but good news of his treatment. Amen!

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I think I have an idea what I wanna achieve in the future...suddenly, it seemed so clear. And the fact that it ties well with my sis seals it...God, I hope it becomes something epic! Hahahaha...

But for now, i'm sticking to building bridges (for now!)...

Tomorrow is the day of the concert...and what we're getting is laughable! Damn damn damn! Boss better let us put this as an 'embellishment' on our CVs for paying us almost nothing!!! Thank God for him, he's friends with my parents, so in essence...we're doing him a favor. Oh, well...

Till tomorrow (as in later TODAY!)...

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Serious post ahead:

If I could save the world, I would be in Haiti...OMG, 111,000 lives claimed. And here we are...wasting the time that we have worrying about boyfriends not loving us enough...worrying about not finding the one...worrying about not catching Mr/Ms Right. Why don't we just forget all that shit just for a sec and focus on what we have...

I love what I have. I may not be wealthy in the material sense, but I AM wealthy when it comes to having loved ones. I am wealthy because I have what I need. I am wealthy because I can have water whenever I feel thirsty and food whenever i'm hungry. I have clothes on my back and money to spend for leisure activities. I can go out of my house without worrying of people looting shops and houses because they've lost everything they have that's worth anything.

I live in a country free of natural disasters (to a degree)...my friends and my family are safe from harm...I have an education...and we are all healthy...and for that, I'm grateful...and I love myself...after reading of all the horrors happening in Haiti...i shall never worry about not being tall enough, not being thin enough or not having flawless skin ever again! Why? Coz life is too precious to sweat the small stuff...yes, I know it's hard...but I sure as hell am gonna try!

For now, I offer my sincerest prayers for the lives lost in Haiti...for their families and friends, and I hope the people find a renewed strength and somehow rise up to the challenge that they have faced in these hard times. Amen!

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I had my day planned out...convinced myself that i'm ready to learn something today, that I had to let down my sister who I was supposed to accompany to the bank but didn't because I had to go for a class...I reached the place quite early...which is unlike me! Soooo unlike me...then, after half an hour the lecturer says she announced earlier that class was cancelled. WTF!!!

My poor sis! Sigh...and when I was waiting for a message that says, "Class is cancelled!" I got zilch! Damn...waste of all the students' time...imagine those who came from their homes...they have to return the very same day! Damn...

Well, at least I got to hangout with my friends and talk...didn't do that for awhile...

Oh, and I wish my sis knows how grateful I am for she always sends me to campus...hehehehe! Sometimes I just dread all the waiting and pushing while getting into the bloody train. Just appreciate it...and also thanks for lending me what i've wanted to borrow for a long time...at least I won't get soooo bored here anymore! :)

PS: On another note...totally irrelevant to this post...I would like to pray for the people who have lost their loved ones in Haiti...I hope we as a people can rise to the occasion and help our brothers and sisters...well, I know I can't do anything myself, but all I could do is offer my prayers in sincerity...I hope that all the funds sent to the Haitian government will be used for good, rather than be pocketed by the government -- if you know what I mean. It happens all the time...I hope this country would be an exception!

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I don't know why i suddenly thought of posting about my parents...i mean, i haven't actually written that i love them so...i always have, but never actually written a post specially for them...well, maybe i have but forgotten about it, but i wanna write one NOW!

I don't actually know how my life would be without them, but i sure know that i am one of those lucky people who sometimes feel that they don't deserve such wonderful people as their parents...i mean, you could have all the riches in the world, and you can have parents who don't give a damn about you, right? Sometimes it overwhelms me how much i can't live without them, i almost cry when i imagine my life without them.

One thing good about me is that i never take them for granted...ever since! I'm so happy for that. Yeah, yeah sometimes they are a pain, but so am i, right? We are ALL humans, we are NOT perfect! But to me, no matter how many heroes i adore and respect...my number 1 will always be them both...Mom & Pops!

And that is why, i wanna be the best person i can be just so that i could justify all your sacrifices you made for me and my sisters. I don't even know why i'm feeling like i miss you guys, even though i'll see you tomorrow (i know, stupid right?) and i just talked to you...but i just know what you guys went through in each of your individual lives and your lives together...and as much as you fight about this and that, even if one day you might end up apart (God forbid...)-- I know you love your children to the brink of selflessness! I just hope all those selfless sacrifices would be worth it in the end.

I pray that BOTH my sisters and I would be able to achieve greatness and finally give you the riches you deserve! I'm glad i say "I love you" so i will never regret NOT saying it when it's too late...may God hear my prayers and bless you both...for I am ALREADY blessed. AMEN!

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