Saturday, May 15, 2010

People Who Need People...

Saturday, May 15, 2010

WARNING: Long post!!!

Friendship for me has come a long way. From what I can say, when I was in high school...I felt indifferent towards this concept! I was the quiet one among "The Trio"...yes, they were great! We were always together, we had our good times and we clicked well...but I can't deny that there were times when I felt I didn't belong because they had such different ideals than me. Each couldn't stand NOT getting male attention. They were always going after the boys, and I was left in the lurch. They also didn't like it when boys gave me attention. Although I like boys, I was never boy-crazy...hell yeah I loved admiring and going ga-ga over guys...but I didn't push-away my food when boys came over to talk to me at the table. I didn't lie to my parents to go dating. I didn't do nonsense. And I still don't!

One thing that put me into cynical-mode for some time was this incident:

One of them got herself a boyfriend. She never; not even once, introduced us. I was her so-called 'best friend'...and she never even introduced us after I covered for her all those times...followed her to the phone booth to make those calls to Mr.'s like she didn't acknowledge me at all. After being THAT naive, I realized (someone told me) that she was scared that he'd be attracted to me instead of her...F***!

What? Was she so insecure that she was afraid that I would steal him away or something? As a friend, did she NOT know me? I would never do that to a friend...or even a person for one thing. That's just not who I am! Nobody knows this coz I never told anyone, but I'm finally writing it down...recalling this incident, I feel hurt all over again. My mistake was that I just let it go, pretended I didn't know anything and acted like everything was fine. I can't believe this still affects me...damn!

The current ME would definitely go ape-shizz and go all confrontational towards her, believe me! If the years have thought me one thing; it would be to stand up for yourself and don't sit still and shut up when you feel like you're being wronged!

The final day we said goodbye, I knew in my heart that we would never be the same again...and I was right. The two decided to move in together and fought...because of insecurities...and oh, the main thing...GUYS! Friendship was over between the 2 girls...just like that. How sad...

I emancipated myself by working and exploring other areas...and at work, I've come to find out that I'm more than this "Trio"...I'm finally me! And guess what? I wasn't the quiet one...I realized that I was NEVER quiet, but they were too 'noisy' that my voice disappeared...LMAO!!!

I made great friends when I took my Form 6 (Pre-U) education...but the best was yet to come... scared the shit outta me!!! I spent my orientation week with my friend from my Form 6 class...and soon enough I made some friends of my own...what can I say? We just clicked! I wouldn't say it was easy, mind! We did have some confrontations in the beginning, but looking back...I always thank God for helping me find these girls. Guess I was always afraid that I'll be used again. :/

I realized the friends I've made in campus are so different from my supposed best friends in high school...why? Coz they're more like, they don't judge you by how you seem on the outside...and they don't pressure you to be anyone other than yourself. They believe that beauty is something from within, and material doesn't make who you are. I can say with confidence that these people will be among my lifelong friends...and I'm the type who has been disappointed with those deemed 'besties' in the past. The final day with them I realized that we would be friends always, no matter what (totally different feeling than I had with my high-school buddies.)

Isn't it funny how life works? I'm now best friends with 2 of my primary school best friends in high school are now 'just friends'-friends, my Form 6 classmates are my good friends, my former-annoying jerk of a classmate is now my friend (and we talks about music and weird is that???), and my university besties are my forever-friends...

Well, that's life for meet people, and if you're lucky become friends. I am lucky to have sincere friends who tell it like it is, not lie or back-stab. I hope God blesses them with nothing but happiness, for though it may seem like I never say it enough...they put my faith back in friendships. Yeah, I was cynical at first...but they proved me wrong!

Therein lies my truth...I love you my dears! Please call me for your weddings, baby showers and such...till we meet, I'll be cherishing our moments in these photographs. :'D

Another truth...never underestimate the practicality of 'layers'. Confused? Ask me...LMAO!

Whew...glad to get that off my chest!


Neo said...

huuu,sangat seronok reading this post...and yeah,smtimes i feel like friends was like come and go~ and when we think that our friends is the 1 that will stay to the end..but we won't know about the future..but by setting our mind like that,it made us appreciate them at that moment + it's our own believe and trust in that friendship..
and yeah..going thru a lot..made us learn about ourself..being ourself,then true fren will come along~

fighting over guys,or gals..(lover) simply common..the insecure stuff,yeah it suck,but shit happens..but for me,that's the 'power' of made people do crazy shit smtimes..and smtimes,made them feel like there are no1 in this world except them n their lover..LMAO~

anyway,at least,without your love story with guys,at least u have your own love story with frienship.. that's something not everybody get~

keep on writing.. :)

Ledzeppelin4evr said...

Haaa, seronok ye baca psl my misery? F***, hahahaha! Bongs...

Ntah la...looking at old photos just reminded me. I'll never forget the things this one 'bestie' did to me...thank God she's out of my life!

Neo said... misery ke? tot some happy ending nyer story? de seronok bace 'orang' punye misery(story),just love to read yours je kot,since we're not like a real-fren yang slalu hang out together and talk bout stuff rite?? ngeng~ so only in here je can 'listen' 2 ur story once a while..