I Don't Know What To Say...Oh, I Do!
Monday, June 18, 2007
No, hell hasn't frozen over...
Just that i'm in an anxious mood right now. It's the moment of truth...my future, my imminent present...which university or college shall I be selected for?
I must admit, throughout the months after high school, or what i'd call the 'waiting period', i've had a few dilemmas...i didn't want to be selected into a government university...although that's what thousands of Malaysian students are fighting for...
I'd lost faith in the government, and opted not to work for the Foreign Service due to the preferential treatment of a certain race...and instead started dreams of working in the media, journalism, PR, writing, etc...
I didn't save money throughout my working period due to expenses, and the new sister needs some stuff...which I offered to purchase instead of my parents...now, i'll have to ask them for money when I start my studies...shit!
I was contemplating which college I would go for...a Plan B in case I wasn't selected! Boy, what a cynic i've become! I hate that i'm such a pessimist...it all stems from constant disappointments in my life; when I hold out for something, it turns out differently. I don't even believe in falling in love anymore!
I'm happy with my family, but...i've never seen any of my friends for a long time, and I miss them so much! These friend are but a few, but they're the ones i'd keep forever! (Sure, I do have a lot of friends, but they're not the BFFs i'm referring to...)
And now, I shall change for the better...a better daughter, a better student, a better friend, a better human being! Lastly, may I regain the bubbly personality, the belief in romance, in good, sincere people, in optimism...without seeming too philosophical about the simple things in life!
Good luck, me!
Just that i'm in an anxious mood right now. It's the moment of truth...my future, my imminent present...which university or college shall I be selected for?
I must admit, throughout the months after high school, or what i'd call the 'waiting period', i've had a few dilemmas...i didn't want to be selected into a government university...although that's what thousands of Malaysian students are fighting for...
I'd lost faith in the government, and opted not to work for the Foreign Service due to the preferential treatment of a certain race...and instead started dreams of working in the media, journalism, PR, writing, etc...
I didn't save money throughout my working period due to expenses, and the new sister needs some stuff...which I offered to purchase instead of my parents...now, i'll have to ask them for money when I start my studies...shit!
I was contemplating which college I would go for...a Plan B in case I wasn't selected! Boy, what a cynic i've become! I hate that i'm such a pessimist...it all stems from constant disappointments in my life; when I hold out for something, it turns out differently. I don't even believe in falling in love anymore!
I'm happy with my family, but...i've never seen any of my friends for a long time, and I miss them so much! These friend are but a few, but they're the ones i'd keep forever! (Sure, I do have a lot of friends, but they're not the BFFs i'm referring to...)
And now, I shall change for the better...a better daughter, a better student, a better friend, a better human being! Lastly, may I regain the bubbly personality, the belief in romance, in good, sincere people, in optimism...without seeming too philosophical about the simple things in life!
Good luck, me!
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