Life's Sick Lil' Games...

I'm STILL listening to them...yeah, you know who! Fuck, what the hell? It's been more than a month, people! Kaulitz boys and the two Gs, what the hell are you doing to me? And i know for a fact they'd never come here since they don't have much of a fan base here...

The closest i'd ever get to seeing them is IF i go to Germany...or France, and that's IF they happen to be in the same place altogether for a gig! Awww, damn!




I SOOOOOOO wanna see you guys perform live! And I will...

So Bill's no longer rockin' the dreads...he has the zebra look now, but hell...any weird-ass hairstyles work on his beautiful face...that bone structure of his is unbelievable...

And here's a freakin' fuckin' funny still-shot i found while watching their live show on YouTube...man, their fans are so protective...i mean, any individual posting a negative remark will get shot, and i'm NOT even kidding...i can't even picture the Kaulitz twins having a gf (or bf *ehem ehem*), as the fans will probably commit suicide, and again...i'm NOT kidding!



And while we're at it...don't they have any guy fans??? Makes you wonder...are the girls just in it for the boys? I can't imagine...coz i love the music they're putting out.

Uhhhh...i'm sick of writing about Tokio Hotel...but it's like a disease i gotta shake off..."Shake the Disease", as Depeche Mode goes...ahhhh, another favorite band of mine, except i don't listen to them for most the day... :-/

...then again, it is MY blog...hahahaha! So; don't like it, don't read it!

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It's little things that create bliss sometimes...

Like cool air and rain at 4 in the morning, while having a grilled cheese+garlic butter sandwich...hot drink (i dunno what to make yet!), listening to your fave music...and not having to worry about anything for the rest of the day...

Haaaahhhhhh...bliss! :D

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Ever had that pre-flu feeling, where at first your throat feels like it has a golf ball stuck inside...then your head starts throbbing, followed by the inevitable cold and cough?

I'm past the head-throbbing and golf balls...but i AM going to be fine right after that...not even gonna think about what follows except that i'm gonna be just fine!

My baby sis has suffered these past few days...damn, yesterday was horrible coz she was sleepless and her chest and airway was so congested...the poor baby was crying everytime she tried to sleep. She cried so much she threw up. I felt so bad everytime she cried, man...you have no idea! Had to carry her for so long till my hand muscles felt sore...hahaha! My mom woke up and tried to put her to sleep, but it was futile...

She finally slept at 6.30 am...brought her to my dad, coz mom had to go to work...and by that time...MY head was throbbing and my arms...lol! Let's just say it was shivering...

And of course...woke up at 1 something in the afternoon...Baby woke me! Lmao...by then the other sis had done so many chores...yeah...good for me! Hehehe...props to middle child. Sorry i couldn't help, but i just felt like crap the whole day.

Can't seem to get rid of this headache...i usually NEVER take painkillers coz i hate it...1 pill would usually be enough, but this time, it wasn't. And another one didn't help either...so i'll just leave it be! By tomorrow, i'll be so healthy...Popeye would be jealous! (tricking my mind...sorta Jedi mind-tricking myself!)

Boy, i'm so lame...LOL!

Well, baby had a slight fever just now...but i think the fever is down, and she's gonna be ok. I hope she gets some quality sleep...hope I get some too! Wishing all of us a good night's sleep...and we'll all be so fuckin' awesomely fit as a fiddle by the time we wake up! HAH!

For now, it's time for some Spongebob with my baby sis...we sing the intro like all the time...she's soooo easy to influence *evil laugh* that i teach her stupid songs...unusual, weird songs that just have my name written on it! Muahahahaha!!! So far: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, that Spongebob Pirate Intro, TH's Wo Sind Eure Haende, Vampire by Antsy Pants and many more weird-ass songs...the thing about her is, she's as wacky as me, so i've no problem acting like a fool with her...coz she's a fool like me! :)))))

We shall widen our repertoire soon!

PS: Still listening to songs by TH...OMG, what's wrong with me??? I've never listened to a particular band for this long...seriously! I mean like on a non-stop loop...40-something songs on loop! Hahahah...and guess what? I don't intend to stop...so there!

Oh, and here's to good health...

Toodlez, bitches!

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See what I said about the law of attraction? I obsessed about going to France for a long time now...heck, it's one of the reasons i took up the language! And though I felt an inkling of a possibility of going there, i didn't wanna jinx it till it was remotely possible!

And now, i've been informed that a committee is to be formed, and of course...i was over-zealously upfront in claiming a spot! Hope i get in...the lecturer even said that higher-level students are given priority which means...go figure! Level 4, thank you very much!

And I know for a fact...by hook or by crook! I WILL be in France next year! I will! I can even feel the atmosphere of the cafes, Arc du Triomphe and Champs-Elysees...Le Tour d'Eiffel...OMG!

I thank you God for the chance...just seeing an opportunity gives me sheer joy coz it leads me to believe that thinking and visualizing manifests into reality. It always does when you have some positivity...the universe always helps you get what you want. So for now let me do a Dorothy and pretend my ruby slippers would send me en France! I know, don't count your eggs before they hatch...but I for one am not gonna taint this dream with a hint of negativity! It's toxic...so any negativity will be banished!

Je vais aller en France avec mes amis...c'est super et incroyable! Maintenant, 'Le Secret' à Rhonda Byrne c'est vrai pour moi!

Please...the Secret by Rhonda Byrne...i've always vouched for its propensity for working...read it if you can. If you want it...i'll share! Tell me if you do... :)

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Well, what else can I say...i've said every sort of greeting i know!

Anyway, the week is going ok...pretty cold nowadays. The weather has been crazy-wet and cold...but i'm doing ok! Having a blast with the little one, who's so big already! OMG, how time flies...can't imagine my life without her! Thank God for this gift everyday, seriously! That's why i hate it when certain people say shit about me taking care of my sister, saying it's the parents' job. Like hello!!! I only take care of her when i am able to! And besides, I love it! AND my parents take care of ALL OF US, asswipes! Stop talking about shit you don't know or understand, got it?

Don't you hate it when people 'assume' things when they don't know you? Judge you when they've known you for like five minutes? Heck...i've known some people for a decade or more, and i'm still discovering new things about them! Moral: Don'tsimply judge a book by it's cover...things are not as simple as WYSIWYG, ok?

And to add to that note; people change...everyday! Things never stay the same...change is inevitable! But being the Taurus that i am...i hate change, but hey...Shit happens, and so does 'change'. Gotta accept that, even if it's hard at first. That is why i kinda appreciate that i adapt pretty well to new surroundings...if i didn't, i would certainly die in my campus, believe me!

Hmmm...been preoccupied with my obsession for the songs i've acquired, so forgive me...i can't help but like what i like! I don't remember when i've ever loved songs from the same band except Led Zep, but yeah...hahahah! Now i have one...you know what i'm talking about!!! LMFAO!

Well, enough of the songs...been having a sorta blah moment...you know, the whole shock-after-screwing-your-exams kinda thing, coupled with not-wanting-to-grow-up-coz-you're-stuck-in-that-Peter-Pan-Complex mode, and also I-feel-so-ugly-everyday...and who could forget, the very popular what-the-hell-do-i-wanna-do-after-i-graduate dilemma...

Hmmm, pretty typical really...i bet i'm not the only one! I am kinda looking forward to experience working with my old boss and sister for the whole concert of xxxxx in January. It'll provide me with choices...do i want to work the PR sector, media, event management, journalism, diplomatic corps? Whatever it is, I only hope God is out there guiding me throughout my journey. I feel so lost sometimes, not knowing where to go. It's always the same issue with me...me and my future. Where do I wanna go? Who do i wanna be? What will make me happy? What do i wanna achieve? These questions...all unanswered. They kill me sometimes.

The fact that i don't know anything BUT "I wanna achieve something great, and be someone of significance to this world in a good way...be someone great and be something my family can truly be proud of." Is this achievable? And if so, how do i do that, and through what medium? Hmmm, sometimes i envy people who know right away what they wanna do with their lives. Or people who are lucky enough to find their purpose and love their job and such.

Oh God, I do hope i find that...I know I can get what I want if i work hard for it...it's just that i DON'T know what it is...sick, huh?

Another post of a 'lost' soul, finding it's way to the light of the tunnel...we are ALL lost, IMO...just hope i realize it before i waste my energy on something that's NOT worth it! I know posts like these seem pretty redundant, but heck...it's just how i feel at the moment!

Ok...time to contemplate deeply! I have lots of time for that now, LOL!

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So I started my day pretty ok...all was well till middle sister (the younger, but bigger and bossy and sorta beyond MY years) started scolding me. Holy Jeebus, Batman! All because I want to listen to some songs. On one hand, she scolds when I listen with the speakers...on the other hand, I'm scolded even when I use the headphones. It's not like I'm bothering anyone...then mom joins in to scold! Ughhh, it's like I can't catch a break here. Mood-killer!!!

I tried to explore my BB and see what applications it had, so I subscribed a week's BIS on my telco company line...for a small sum. Told the sister and got another awesome scolding. LMFAO! Now she's lecturing me on MY airtime? Ohhh man! Too funny...kinda amused at how someone younger than me could have such little respect...but I guess it happened just when mom trained me to give in to the younger one. Guess the lesson never dies, eh? Not to say that I want her respect, but geez...I have to get a break from all the scolding once in a while. I know you're always gonna be right, and I'm always gonna be wrong...but can you save your mothering for when you have your own kids?

One thing I'm amused at is that she can't take it when I give her some comeback scolding in return! So...it's more a matter of me ShuttingTFU or just giving in and getting a headache for 5 minutes, then it's over.

Ok, complaining always puts me in a better mood! :))

I shall carry on with my songs now...oh, btw...loving the internet with my BB- youtube, messenger, facebook, google, hotmail, etc...better make it worth it! Hence, gonna use a hell of a whole lotta BB this bloody week. And yeah, I'm blogging from my BlackBerry, woohoo!

Toodlez, bitches!

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Just when you think Bill Kaulitz' lyric-writing skills couldn't get any better...i find another song from the new album...probably the last out of Humanoid's Deluxe Edition called Phantomrider aka Geisterfahrer in German...the difference? He wrote the original in German, of course...and the German version has a girl singing an excerpt of his "love" answering him from the other side...damn! Of course, it sounds better in the language in which it was written, right? The English version is just for us English-speakers to comprehend and etc...

You see, a geisterfahrer...according to German lore is someone who is on a drunken rampage and/or suicide rampage on an autobahn (highway) in Germany...it's basically speeding on the wrong side of the highway, either coz you wanna die, or you just want some thrill...whatever it is...TH's version seems to be on a suicidal note, where he is giving up coz he wants to meet his love on the other side...the thing is, we don't know whether the "love" is known to him, or maybe it's just some dream he's pursuing...whatever it is, it's scary the way he chases it, kinda optimistic AND pessimistic at the same time...

Yes, i AM sooooo free to analyse songs...isn't it what i do best? Heheheeh...remember Three Days' Grace and Third Eye Blind, and NIN...yes...guess i kinda like dark, gloomy songs...doesn't misery love company?

Now don't get me wrong...i DO love the fast-tempo songs like Wo Sind Eure Hande or Wir Sterben Niemals Aus --> great to hear it live and acoustic respectively...if only! :( or Hey You...or etc! It's just, why would you analyse the happy songs, right? It's just that...a WYSIWYG kinda thing! You get it! But i think if i should be so lucky as to ask the band some stuff, it would definitely be on the lyrical and musical side, rather than their favorite color or their sexual orientation...which is kinda rude! So what if he's gay or not? His music still rocks, and that's what matters in the end...but isn't it weird that like their German stuff a little bit more than their English ones? Hahaha...i love both versions, but yeah...Deutsch seems more them...duhhh! Meh, whatever...

By the way, haven't been well this past 2 days due to food poisoning...just thinking about it makes me mad! Arrrrggghhhh hate it, hate it, hate it!!! Why is it that I get sick every November? Remember last year? It was either November or December...arrrhhh!!! But yeah, last year was worse...couldn't forget he mere "uggghhhhh.." feeling...okok, i'll stop now!

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Done with my last paper...but the bad news is, there was one COMPULSORY question in which i didn't know the answer...FUCKKKKKKKKKK!!! I so screwed it up! And it was 30/50 marks...OMFG...aaarrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!

So i don't know if i should be happy coz it's over...or be sad coz i screwed up! The stuff we were supposed to read came out for the paper, but the stuff we didn't read became the main question! Hmmmph! It's like we can't catch a break with this lecturer...his papers often become controversial. In a previous paper, he told the student that that paper would be multiple-choice questions...and at the exam hall...it was a few essay questions! WTF...now, this!


Now...on to moving back home, which would be very very excruciatingly tiring! Just have to wait for the sister's word...hopefully before 5 pm so i could hand back the keys...

And at last...i can do whatever the hell i want without the dreaded books...not that i read them anyway...damn, man...i'm such a lousy student! Lol...what the hell am i gonna end up doing with my life? I should've taken journalism or something like that! I find IR OK, but very academic...i was never excellent at academia, but what's done is done...no regrets! And i would love to take up my masters in journalism or popular culture if there's such a thing...oh, is there anything related to music and movies? OMG, that would be a dream, really!!!

Ok, done with the daydream...you see how my mind wanders? This is what happens when i read or attempt to study...my mind floats away...i'm in a Tokio Hotel concert...AAR concert (which kinda came true!)...BEP concert (which kinda came true!)...Incubus concert (which kinda came true!)...boating on the sea (which kinda came true!)

...

OMFG! Am i gonna get to watch TH now??? Please please let it be so! I'm sending a message to the cosmos...i shall go to Germany to watch them, while holidaying during Oktoberfest and eating all sorts of German bratwurst and Bavarian cuisine :)

Hell, since i'm dreaming, why not continue, eh?

Next, i shall go to France and do all the stuff i wanna do there...then off to Italy to visit all the piazzas, throw a coin at the Trevi Fountain, climb the Spanish Steps, visit the museums...then go off to Tuscany and live in a chateau at a beautiful vineyard while taking a walk around the hills...then before heading back home, i shall attend a masquerade party in Venice, but of course not before going for a ride with a singing gondolier!

Then someday...i shall go to the US and you know...do that thing which i wanna do badly on the Vegas strip? Then, go up north to Alaska to witness Aurora Borealis...and camp at the alpines and fish for trout!

And why not go to Angkor Wat and be dazzled at the serenity of such wonder!

Ahhh, that's the life...possible? Sure! If others can...why can't I?

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Let's play my fave game...since my mind is blank right now:

• Ever felt so hungry even after eating 2 hours prior to your hunger pang? Then, you eat a packet of biscuits so quick, and of course...like a pig that you are?
• Ever felt a song touched you to your soul, that you can't help but cry?
• Ever had a certain song never fails to get you up from your chair just so you dance to it?
• Ever felt jittery after drinking that 5th cup of coffee, then wonder why you're feeling jittery and feel like skipping rope?
• Ever wanted to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, but instead you ATTEMPT to read your lessons for a major test on the same day, then choose not to coz you're afraid you won't wake up?
• Ever felt doing something major to your hair, like maybe getting dreads...but your head is too small and you'll look like a turd-head? (Yes, i DO have a thing for guys with dreads...so what?)
  

Shit, what the hell am i doing??? I gotta focus...

FOCUS!!!

Man, i'm so screwed!

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So about the emo post...had a talk with my besties, and sure enough: they are isolating us! Hah! We unanimously isolate you too, bunch of fucktards! I actually don't know who to pinpoint this so-called conspiracy to, but i've always said i didn't belong here in this university...and I always always always thank God for the friends i've made here...coz life here without them would've been so different. Now, looking back at all the stupid things we've done, all the things we're about to endure in our lives...it sorta gives me a moment of sadness+excitement.

I've learned about their secrets, their dreams and i've met their families...truly a blessing for me. And no matter how different i was and am, they never made me feel lost or out of place. And here we are, nearing the penultimate semester...and i'm so freaked out, but i'm so sure we are ALL going to be okay.

I'm proud to say that we all have great upbringing, great tutelage from our parents and we are family-oreinted individuals who will make it in this world. Yes, we never did excellent in our education, heheh...but what are we striving for, really...is not our academic goals...it is much more than that. We are more than our CGPAs...we are people who are on a journey to self-discovery...and no matter what we achieve--strip all our materialistic gains, and your real treasures are your loved ones...

Therefore, i post this before i start on my IL reading (which is much too late, LOL!), Just thought i might build up our egos a little...i'm actually pretty good at motivating others...myself, nope! But yes, i meant everything i said!

I'm also trying to cut back on the TH songs which kinda affects me tremendously (the slow ones make me wanna cry and the fast ones make me wanna head-bang)...it's actually bad to listen to their songs while reading your books...ich bin distracted! Ach mein gott!

Good luck to all of us...we shall tread the waters together! And one more thing--> One more day till partial freedom!!! Woohoo!!! (I say partial because we still have our thesis...booo!!!)

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In this world, not everyone will like you. Seems like a 'duhh!' statement, but just wanted to make it clear...i used to think "So what...I've got better things to do...", but my mom keeps this mantra which I find pretty non-Zen, but more realistic...it goes like this,

"If you don't like me...I don't like you MORE!"

Well, i have always been a person who likes to appease...to not hold it against a person who treats you badly. But for some reason, me thinking this way just isn't cut out for the real world. I feel like a schmuck if i let another person treat me like a piece of crap, and hey...turning the other cheek is something Jesus could do, but heck...I'm no Jesus!

So there...i know that i will and can't please everyone in this world...and of course, i may not be the best person in the world, but i'll tell you this...NO ONE IS A SAINT! Everyone has their faults, and i surely am one of them!

What is this about actually? Well, let's just say that some people really are mean...yes, another "Duhh!" statement, which I shall not get into in detail...just because I look like i have a hard exterior, it doesn't mean i'm immune to any sort of feelings...what the hell do some people know, that they can isolate you or a clique? I think that if I don't bother you, then why the fuck should you bother minding me (or my friends) anyway?

All i wanna do now is listen to my Tokio Hotel...their music, though some may call them lame, their music speaks to me in loads of ways...the vocalist's voice would seem kinda nasally, but it kinda works...the lyrics, the rhythm...it all works for me, so relevant to what i, as a young individual am going through. It gives me some sort of solace coz it's full of hope. Yes, i'm a dweeb by the way! Lol...Moral is, I love their songs coz i can relate! Therefore, ich liebe Tokio Hotel!

I couldn't find the tabs for 1000 Meere (1000 Oceans in English), so i wrote my own, albeit in a higher key...it works. Still slow in transitioning, but faster compared to previous attempts. Kinda find solace when i play now. Wish i had one for my own, and i will get it when i get some monay!

Oh yeah, my former boss is hiring an ad hoc team coz he's bringing in this major Filipino superstar to do a concert here. I'll be his "wingman" (LOL!), together with my sis. Hope i could meet great new people, and maybe widen my network, since i'll be graduating soon...God i hope this works!

Hmmm, i dunno. Maybe i'm going nuts or something...maybe i'm PMS-ing, but there you have it...the story may seem stupid, but yes...i'm feeling like i'm in a whole different galaxy because of some people who are fucking retards! I just thank God, that with the bad, there's good to balance it. Thank God for good people!

So there you have it...another emo post! -___-

And God...thank you for everything i have! I thank you coz i never take anything i have for granted...

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Yes...i slept for a total of...13 hours!!! Guess that's what NOT sleeping does to you...i have paid back all my sleepless nights, and i have gotten a major headache for over-sleeping! Ouch!

Yesterday, i was listening to Zoom Into Me by TH, i just discovered it...and i absolutely love it that i woke up humming the song...fuck! I'm so obsessed with their songs...hope it's just a phase! Anyway, the riff is played on a piano, and if you just focus on the piano part, i think i could play it...now i always liked playing the piano, just that i didn't like the songs i was made to play...

Ok, now i'm sad coz i don't have one...by the time i can afford one, i would be old! Arrrggghhhh!!! Even playing the damn guitar, i have to ask permission coz it's not mine! How does one develop if one can't practice everyday, huh?

Anyway, enough of this...i'm supposed to get back home hours ago, but i just can't seem to have the will to journey back home. The waiting kills me. The sardine-packed trains kill me. The pushing animals kill me. I hate it!

One day, i hope and pray...i won't have to endure this shit anymore...at least others in the family have a car. So it's easy to keep scolding me when i say i'm lazy to come home early...

Yup, looks like an emo post...LOL! Well, so what? It's my blog and i'll post whatever the hell i want. Not like anyone reads this shit.

Oh yeah, forgot to write about my concert last Saturday...will do so tonight maybe! On a rather related note, i would just like to proclaim that...

ICH LIEBE TOKIO HOTEL! (I mean i love their songs...the new ones, not the old ones where Bill's voice was still high and boyish!)

Ok, i'm done...

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See what my obsession does to me? I've started learning German just so i can understand the lyrics...LOL, nahhh...it's just a title of Tokio Hotel's German song...i love it; it means In the Night...but it would seem that Into the Night would be better-suited!

Okay why the hell am i blogging when there's five hours on the clock till my next exam? Why? Who the hell knows...i'm just crazy! To add to the craziness, i slept for a total of 3 hours yesterday...then i had to finish up my last assignment, pass it up and read up on tomorrow's exam! Didn't have time to pay-up on the snooze! So i hope i would wake up after ANOTHER 3 hours of sleep!!! Please, God...please!

And the freakin' owl that keeps swooping across my window won't stop screechin' for God knows what reason...it screeeches everyday around this time. So, any idea on how i could ever get some sleep? Facebook tells me i'm not the only one in my class who's having a hard time sleeping...thank goodness i'm not alone! Misery really does love company, huh?

I'm listening to 1000 Meere for the umpteenth time...still not bored with it! I guess I kinda channel my good qualities into shit like this...why can't i do something good for once, rather than look for songs, research on some cult, or band, or even blog...

I'm so fucked! Toodles, and wish me luck!

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Well you know sometimes when a singer of a band has a gimmicky or rather 'out there' kinda look, it turns a person off...but after I put those kinds of things aside, i kinda like the band...who? what?

It's Tokio Hotel...your average German-rockers-turned-international sensation! Okok, i must admit it, Bill and Tom Kaulitz; the twins made me fascinated...and the initial song that brought me in was some song i saw in a video montage during a recent concert i attended...it was 'Automatic'...or 'Automatisch' in German...sound better in English, ahahaha!

As usual...my curiosity hit me, so i YouTubed the song and i heard the whole thing...so ok, i liked it! Then, i saw few related videos on the band and discovered they were soooo freakin' German! LOL, they can't even speak English without sounding like some German character out of The Simpsons...but yeah, i like their songs. The German ones, the English ones...both!

TH sounds like the LostProphets, with some Rammstein flavor (but of course, just the German factor...Rammstein is waaaaaaay too legendary to be compared to TH!)

Maybe it's a phase, but I like them and that's that...and even if Bill looks like a hot girl, it doesn't steer away from the concept of good music. I wouldn't say it's fantastic, but it certainly got my attention...



Hey, maybe gimmics DO work...if he dressed like your average Joe, i wouldn't have discovered them anyway! So here's to you...Tokio Hotel! Ich liebe dich...hahahahah!

Okok, I know they're an 'old' band...but it wouldn't hurt to gain a new fan, right? Below are the twins; Tom and Bill Kaulitz...by the looks of the videos on them, Tom is more guy-like, while Bill is ultra feminine in the way he talks and acts...funny, huh? Bill is so pretty!



TH, my new obsession...please come to Malaysia soon!

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I dunno what's more sick...the fact that i'm not studying or the fact that i haven't finished my TWO tasks? Wtf...

And here i am reading something TOTALLY UNRELATED to my studies...what, you might ask? No, it isn't on proper ways to speak French...No, it isn't on Major Powers...No, nothing about International Law...what I'm reading about is a thousand times irrelevant to what I should be searching for...can you guess?

Scientology...

...what the fuck, right? This always always always happen to me! I have short attention span, so no matter how hard I try, my mind will unwittingly stray from the main focus...I know-->this is dangerous, but what can I do? This is why, when i look into the future, I don't wanna end up doing something like office jobs from 9 to 5...I just don't think i have the ability to do the same things over and over again. Damn, what about other areas, then?

I'm so doomed! LMAO...this says something about many things, eh?

Alas, we'll see what happens...does ledzeppelin4evr succeeds in finishing all her assignments in the nick of time? Find out in the next post!

PS: I'm supposed to write about a vacation to a foreign land in French...I am writing about Italy. My imagination is running wild over here...and i think i'm on a caffeine high as well, having drunk 3 mugs in less than 6 hours...all this, and the fact that last minute task completion gives me an adrenaline rush...so i'm super-pumped! All the best to those who are doing their last minute studying and task completion...Godspeed!

Toodlez, bitches!

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It's been awhile since i talked about my adventures playing the guitar, but you know how it is...you pick it up, then you're too busy with uni and assignments and shit like that. Wish i had one in my college dorm so that i can just play when i'm freakin' over my head...but the next best thing is borrowing my sister's when i'm home...so she's like a play-by-ear kinda person (a-hole!), and i'm like a dumb person attempting to play...but it feels like an achievement when you play something that makes sense, you know? LOL...

So one small achievement is me plucking the intro for my most fave song by my most fave band...you guessed it; Led Zeppelin baby!!! Stairway to Heaven...i can't believe i could now play the fuckin intro by just playing around with the stings, hehehe! Kinda happy, but i guess that's all i have to show for it...oh, and yeah...i also tried to play the chords by ear...and i did, but i'm also missing some...so what else can i do but go to 'Ultimate Guitar Tabs' and refer to it...and you know what? My chords matches the ones online, so woohoo! One small step for me, one giant leap for...me i guess? Well, whatever...the most important thing is that i'm happy! Hahahaha, hope that i can play the whole song one day...it's a superawesome song! LOL...

Oh, and did I mention, i also can play the chorus for AC/DC's Highway to Hell, albeit rather slowly...but yeah...i did it myself...just for fun! You know, when you hear the song long enough, you just wanna play a certain part for fun, so i did! Hahahah, when i played the sis, and she laughed coz it's super random and "Whuh???"...LMAO! Guess it's kinda good when you learn to play chords first...makes things easier.

A few songs that which are super easy for beginners are Howie Day's Collide, Amos Lee's Colors, Green Day's Time of Your Life (Good Riddance), etc...but i've yet to master them...another song i'm studying is my other fave which is Tonic's If You Could Only See...I STILL suck though!

Too bad most of the songs i learn is unknown to most people!!! But hey, even if they did know, i would rather be caught dead than play in public, heheheh!

Well, i'm just one step closer to crossing another life task on my list! Next, is going to ******! Some rumors are swirling that we might get a chance...but i won't say it out just yet. Don't wanna jinx it!

By the way, good luckeroo to my besties (if they read this!) for the finals! Hmmmm, i can't imagine how our lives would become next year...we'd graduate, go our separate ways...it kinda makes me wanna go all emo and shit, but i won't let it...at least not just yet! :(

God bless us...everyone!

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What is life?
It is not a wasted soul,
It is not a loveless spirit,
It is not without a freedom that lies within - wanting, seeking, cherishing...

What is life without love?
What is life without crying?
What is life without laughing?
What is life without a need to fly away?

And so I live my life,
Searching for its means,
Searching for its worth,
Searching for its balance...

I am still alone,
I am still hidden,
I am still lost,
I am still searching...

I seek something to call home,
I search for a kindred spirit,
I search for somebody without haste,
I seek the ultimate time to find it.

One question lies within;
Will I ever find it,
This thing that makes life a gift?
Only God knows - I am as complex as one shouldn't be!

And though I haven't reached full circle,
What I search, seek, and hope to find...
An 'end' to call home,
So I can say I lived my life without waste.

What is life?
It is a soul full of peace,
It is a soul full of love,
It is a soul full of questions - answered.

What is life?
It is not wasted soul,
It is not a loveless spirit,
It is not without a freedom that lies within.


------------------------------------------------------------


I took it from my old notebook...I wrote it during my first semester in my 'new' surroundings; at my university...

I realized that I still want the same things...although circumstances may change me, the core 'wants' are the same.

I dunno, just kinda feeling sad coz as much as I want to remain a 'kid', I HAVE to grow up and go into the real world and find my ground...maybe separate from my friends and family in the long run, and that just plain sucks!

I hope and pray that I don't get caught up in work that I become one of those people who forget friends and family...

You can bet your ass that i'm gonna cry on my graduation day! I'm already counting the days till I say goodbye to student life (and I haven't even finished my assingments and thesis!)

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I just finished watching Life Is Beautiful, that Oscar-winning Italian movie that came out in the late '90s...and i've gotta say this...i cried like i've never cried before...for a damn movie!

OMG...the ending, especially, when the little boy was reunited with his mom...Roberto Benigni deserved his Oscar...and his wife on the movie is his wife in real-life too! She was good too, but the boy really stole her thunder, IMO...he wasn't just adorable, he was so right for the role and the boy can act very well, i might say!

It felt nice...the whole movie was amazing. Definitely adding it to my list of favorites!

Hey, it's never too late too watch a movie, no matter how old it is, right? At least i've unleashed years of not being able to shed a tear! What did it? A freakin' movie!

Well, at least it was an amazing movie...at least! Watch it...if you don't feel anything at all towards the end of the movie, you are full of shit!

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Sooooo, how now brown cow? It's been so long since i've blogged for real...all this has made me miss writing even more...

So i shall start by telling the story of our adventures in Sunway Lagoon's event -- Arthur's Day! I have to say, it was a mixture of good and bad experiences...

Firstly, we were running late! My 2-year-old sis was having a cold, so we had to rush in order to buy her meds at the pharmacy...then, we were off!

On the way, my sis passed a double toll-booth...in which she decided to pay at the second one ahead (as it displayed the green light), but...the 1st pole went down upon the car! OMFG! My sis and our friend were furious at the woman for such foolishness. At the same time, the woman was mad at my sis for not stopping! I, on the other hand was super stunned and remained quiet, coz secretly, i thought my sister should just STFU at the woman coz we were already running late, and after i checked the top of the car, no scratches or dents were found (thank God!)...but i so wanna forget that incident coz seriously...just plain "Ugggghhhh!!!"

Ok so after that, we all got into an argument about where to park, what if we were overdressed, what to eat, who should drive back, etc...

We had a hard time looking for parking, as it was extremely full! After finding a spot, the next thing was looking for the entrance! Then, it was a task of looking for the ticket booth! OMFG...and of course, my idiot of a sister had to stop for frequent smoking! Which was a total mood-killer! I hate it so freakin' much! I just hate it!!! It stuck to my hair and clothes the whole night!

After successfully redeeming our tickets, we went inside...it was a loooooong way! We reached on the location after a long way! Thank God i was wearing espadrilles, which were easy to walk in! Hahahaha, but some women stupidly wore stilettos...what were they thinking? It was a freakin' concert okay? LOL!

Upon reaching, there were some performances from locals and international artists...but of course, I was there to see the Black Eyed Peas, as were many other peeps. So while waiting, we sat around, tried some Guiness stout from the draft (which was good, i must say...not bitter, just smooth with a hint of smoky aftertaste...i liked it very much! But c'mon, VIP passes got you into free-flow area, which was a total buzz-killer for us who had to pay RM 100++ per ticket! So i just drank one glass! Those mothereffers!!!)

Then we chilled at the back, where there were little people...near the beach pool...two guys approached, hitting us with one-liners (which was so lame!), and before i could say "no thanks"...they asked if we had boyfriends...LOL! My sis smartly said, "Yes, ALL of us do!" One of those guys (foreigners), did a sort of flying-kiss action which kinda reminded me of those boyband gestures...OMG, hahahaha! I told this to my friends and they laughed their asses off! Now, it is one of our official gesture...seriously, lame! Guys, don't be tacky...for your own sake.

BEP came out...we pushed our way to the front! I reached a barrier...fuck! Couldn't see 'em, which made me super fucking pissed! Damn unfair!!! I settled for them on screen only, but those fuckin' peeps from VIP didn't even sing along or dance or even gave a hint of enjoyment! It was unfair to those who genuinely loved the band! Huh!!!

Okok i won't go to much detail, as it will be too long...so other than me drooling over Taboo's hotness...which i don't know, it's so sudden. Used to think he looked weird...but on that night, he looked hot wearing that wife-beater and his hair tied-up! He looked super fit too! Hahahaha, okok...shall stop now! Now, i wasn't the only one okay? Everytime he was on, all the girls would scream...so i wasn't the only one who thought he was hot! :P

After they finished, people were sorta bummed, coz they gave a great performance...save for the bad audio/visual which were quite below par! I mean, the event management could've done better! The fireworks, however (which ended the whole event) was a great display! Super fantastic!

And that was it...left out many other details, coz i'm too lazy!

An after-event meal was planned...so we thought of goin' to Asia Cafe...but, we got lost...majorly lost! Spent 1-and-a-half hours looking for the parking...we stupidly didn't record which wing we had parked in! Fuck! My feet hurt due to walking up and down! We even paid the parking ticket already, and we spent ALMOST two hours looking for our parking! Seriously, that was the ultimate breaking point for us...i even took off my shoes, as the place was closing, the elevators shut down, we had to walk barefoot! Not that there was anyone left in the complex! WTF...i saw others walking barefoot too, so why not...hahahah! Even up to this day, my ankle hurts coz i twisted it...pretty brutal!

Anyway, we finally found it! And we just chilled in the car...paid the extras for the parking, then headed for AC...we ate, we met someone of no significance to me (but to my sis...yes!)

Of course, the other mood-killer was my sis' stupid bf who kept calling very minute demanding to know who she was foolin' around with! OMFG, i seriously hate that he is a super-controlling, mentally-abusive, insecure piece of man...who, IMO doesn't deserve to be in a relationship...especially with my sis! What the hell can i do? He's in Russia nonetheless, and still manages to cry like a baby over the phone while begging my sis to admit that she's 'grinding' with other guys!

So in the end...was it disappointing or well-worth all my time? Well...i'll just say this: I loved only five things:

• The BEP performance,
  
• The fireworks,
  
• The stout,
  
• The hot eye candies
• The after-event supper!

Go figure...bittersweet, but sweet nonetheless!

Zoom to current events: I didn't realize it till i passed him...my friend told me that he was there. Turning around, I was him...OMG! My crush was still there...OMGOMGOMG! LOL, yeah...made my day...and he sat right in front of our table! A guy like him...must be taken or surrounded by girls everywhere he goes! But of course...that wouldn't change the fact that he's the nicest stranger i've ever met! :)

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