Life's Sick Lil' Games...

Ever had recurring dreams...or that of similar images flashing through your mind every now and then?

Well, I have them!!! Those images...those places...those feelings of familiarity. It's as if "THERE" is where I'm supposed to be.

...and yet, I've never seen it (that place) and never seen him...which is what I'm actually waiting for. I've never actually seen this person's face, coz it's always blurry...but I've certainly seen him in a few of my dreams. If I'm not mistaken, I've written about him in a few posts too. It's kinda spooky, but in a good way. I'd like to think that he's looking out for me, even if he's on the other side of the world...

He could be my guardian angel...or my mind's interpretation of God...or maybe me in masculine form...heck, it could be the love of my life for all I know. The only problem is, I don't have a clue WHO he is.

Weird, huh? It's like I'm holding out for something I've known for a long time...it's kinda useless to write about it since I can't seem to describe it.

Hey, I am as realistic as they get...but then again, my imagination keeps me optimistic and somewhat child-like...I'd like to refer to myself as a realistic optimist. I'm optimistic that I'll find out what the hell this recurring image/dream is about.

For now, it's out there! What I want out of this journey is that familiarity...who knows, maybe I knew him from another life...or perhaps a parallel universe? (Which would be awesome, actually!)

If it's just a dream and nothing more...then I'm ok with it too. Somehow, he shows up when I'm having dreams of walking alone. He'll be there holding my hand and guiding me...

Well, this is another useless scribbling...just needed to document this so I won't forget.

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Sometimes, what you see is what you get...no need to analyze. It's just there in your face! No need to analyze the 'deeper' meanings by my selection of book or movies...I just like them coz they're good movies.

No need to ramble on about what makes me like certain types of music...I just do!

No need to ask why I do this or that...I am human and I'm driven by instincts...

No need to philosophize about the world to me...I didn't ask you to.

No need to ask me stuff. I am not a sage, and you are not my pupil!

No need to tell me stuff I don't wanna know coz it makes me feel awkward...don't you have a right/wrong filter in your brain? DO you have a brain?

The filter in my head tells me that I can't tell these things to you coz I have something called sensitivity...which maybe you don't? Guess I'll just have to ignore you then...and no, I don't like you. I'm just being nice...

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Sorry...this is my outlet, people...some people are idiots, that's all! So this is the place where I let it out...

This is pretty much a pointless post...but I'm feeling very much better now!

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Baby A or 'Bee' as we call her just turned 3 last Monday. After all the apparent plans to celebrate her birthday at McDonald's, Pizza Hut...a bar, even (hahah!!!)...we took a step back and made a 180-degree turn. In the end, we started thinking of the things that would be the best thing for HER...and not us!

She loves animals...hahaha, so they decided to take her to the zoo. I say, GREAT CHOICE!!! I really thought a huge birthday bash was useless because she didn't have that many friends, and all the people would consist of OUR friends...therefore, it wouldn't really be that fun for her, right? They just needed a little clarity.

So we ordered her a Spongebob Squarepants cake...chocolate! We wanted to order one from Secret Recipe, but they didn't have Spongebob...damn! So we just looked around nearby our place for any cakehouse that made Spongebob-design cakes (since time was already running out!)

We took her to the zoo, where she had a blast. Meanwhile, the other sis had a mad insect bite which caused her foot to become humongous! LOL...but she walked like a champ! Well, that's love for ya...

After the trip (in which we sweated cause it was like a sauna in there!!! Thank God I wore shorts!!!), we took the cake to Grandma's house (I hate it there, but no choice...it's all for Baby, so I'll put up with anything!!!)

...we bought some KFC and called all the children over...yeah, my cousins have many children!!! And they were only from one aunt! LMAO...but baby is close to them so i'm glad she had a blast. And despite us (Mom, Dad, me and the middle sister) thinking how horrendous the cake looks, Baby liked it...no, she LOVED it! So if she loves it...means WE love it!!! :D

I'm so glad she had a blast! And she's growing so fast, I'm just enjoying the time; in which I'm lucky enough to watch her grow...man, we love her so much! God has blessed us, and I'm so happy!

Happy 3rd birthday, my dear baby sister...may you have many more to come! God bless you always, little one! :')

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WARNING: Long post!!!

Friendship for me has come a long way. From what I can say, when I was in high school...I felt indifferent towards this concept! I was the quiet one among "The Trio"...yes, they were great! We were always together, we had our good times and we clicked well...but I can't deny that there were times when I felt I didn't belong because they had such different ideals than me. Each couldn't stand NOT getting male attention. They were always going after the boys, and I was left in the lurch. They also didn't like it when boys gave me attention. Although I like boys, I was never boy-crazy...hell yeah I loved admiring and going ga-ga over guys...but I didn't push-away my food when boys came over to talk to me at the table. I didn't lie to my parents to go dating. I didn't do nonsense. And I still don't!

One thing that put me into cynical-mode for some time was this incident:

One of them got herself a boyfriend. She never; not even once, introduced us. I was her so-called 'best friend'...and she never even introduced us after I covered for her all those times...followed her to the phone booth to make those calls to Mr. BF...it's like she didn't acknowledge me at all. After being THAT naive, I realized (someone told me) that she was scared that he'd be attracted to me instead of her...F***!

What? Was she so insecure that she was afraid that I would steal him away or something? As a friend, did she NOT know me? I would never do that to a friend...or even a person for one thing. That's just not who I am! Nobody knows this coz I never told anyone, but I'm finally writing it down...recalling this incident, I feel hurt all over again. My mistake was that I just let it go, pretended I didn't know anything and acted like everything was fine. I can't believe this still affects me...damn!

The current ME would definitely go ape-shizz and go all confrontational towards her, believe me! If the years have thought me one thing; it would be to stand up for yourself and don't sit still and shut up when you feel like you're being wronged!

The final day we said goodbye, I knew in my heart that we would never be the same again...and I was right. The two decided to move in together and fought...because of insecurities...and oh, the main thing...GUYS! Friendship was over between the 2 girls...just like that. How sad...

I emancipated myself by working and exploring other areas...and at work, I've come to find out that I'm more than this "Trio"...I'm finally me! And guess what? I wasn't the quiet one...I realized that I was NEVER quiet, but they were too 'noisy' that my voice disappeared...LMAO!!!

I made great friends when I took my Form 6 (Pre-U) education...but the best was yet to come...

University...it scared the shit outta me!!! I spent my orientation week with my friend from my Form 6 class...and soon enough I made some friends of my own...what can I say? We just clicked! I wouldn't say it was easy, mind you...lol! We did have some confrontations in the beginning, but looking back...I always thank God for helping me find these girls. Guess I was always afraid that I'll be used again. :/

I realized the friends I've made in campus are so different from my supposed best friends in high school...why? Coz they're more like me...family-oriented, they don't judge you by how you seem on the outside...and they don't pressure you to be anyone other than yourself. They believe that beauty is something from within, and material doesn't make who you are. I can say with confidence that these people will be among my lifelong friends...and I'm the type who has been disappointed with those deemed 'besties' in the past. The final day with them I realized that we would be friends always, no matter what (totally different feeling than I had with my high-school buddies.)

Isn't it funny how life works? I'm now best friends with 2 of my primary school friends...my best friends in high school are now 'just friends'-friends, my Form 6 classmates are my good friends, my former-annoying jerk of a classmate is now my friend (and we talks about music and guitars...how weird is that???), and my university besties are my forever-friends...

Well, that's life for you...you meet people, and if you're lucky enough...you become friends. I am lucky to have sincere friends who tell it like it is, not lie or back-stab. I hope God blesses them with nothing but happiness, for though it may seem like I never say it enough...they put my faith back in friendships. Yeah, I was cynical at first...but they proved me wrong!

Therein lies my truth...I love you my dears! Please call me for your weddings, baby showers and such...till we meet, I'll be cherishing our moments in these photographs. :'D

Another truth...never underestimate the practicality of 'layers'. Confused? Ask me...LMAO!

Whew...glad to get that off my chest!

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I've only realized it now...my favorite bracelet is broken...NOOOOOOO!!!

In my life, I've never gotten attached to any sort of accessory...except this bracelet...it was translucent and brown, where each large "bead" was octagonal and had embossed yin and yang motifs on each side of every piece of bead...

My little sister broke it!!! Nooooo...seriously, didn't realize it till I was on the way out and put on my watch...I reached for the bracelet and saw that a few bead-pieces were shattered. And now I'm sort of in mourning coz it's the ONE thing that reminds me of the trip...and I've never seen anything like it! And I bought it...for myself. I NEVER buy accessories for myself!!! So this says something about this item, right? Sigh!

Plus the fact that I don't ever wear daily accessories unless it's for something special...this Yin Yang bracelet, I wore every time I went anywhere!!!

So rest in pieces, my dear Yin Yang bracelet...I shall miss our times spent together...we've been through a lot, and you've served me well (even though I was sorta wearing you out and you became looser after every wear)...

You shall now be kept in my "vault of forgotten trinkets"...

PS: I don't even know if this is a tribute or a joke...could it be both?

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Okok, you know how I admire aesthetics...as a human being, I love looking at beautiful things such as landscapes, mountains, stars, sea and the sky...all as much as I admire beautiful people...

So I can't help but post this post (does this make sense?) for a cool ad...

...he caught my eye when he acted in this made-for-TV biopic, 'James Dean' and 'Sonny' (watch 'em!!!)...and so when Spider-Man came out and he was the son of Green Goblin, I was totally drooling over him rather than Tobey...LMAO! Also, he just killed me as Saul in Pineapple Express...LMAO! Him and Seth made a great team.

So imagine my awe when this ad for Gucci aired on TV..."Whoah..."


James Franco, coming out of the water in slow-motion, all serious and brooding...in B&W...plus the awesome background music!!! The music, which I find totally epic...made me google it, hahaha...you know me and my curiosity...

I found out it was a cover made by Roisin Murphy...that lady from Moloko, OMG!!! She's so freakin' cool...I totally loved her song, 'Let Me Know' (using a sample of the riff in 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson)...and she covered this song which was originally done by Bryan Ferry called 'Slave To Love'...

So, in essence...awesome male who oozes sex appeal+awesome Nu-Wave song done in a modern way = coolest fragrance ad...ever!!!

Don't even know why I posted something so random...but hey, I've nothing better to do, so why not project my nod for aesthetics seen on TV?

I know, I know...beauty is skin deep and all...but sometimes, you just gotta appreciate beauty that's right in your face, no? It's not like I'm judging his whole character or anything...just appreciating what God gave him, Lol!

PS: James Franco is taking his PhD in Yale...this just upped his appeal in my book...hot, witty AND smart? I hope to God he's not a jackass...Lol!

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I mentioned earlier about this reception job, right? I said it's quite far and all...

Well, I did my research and found out just how mother-effin' far it really is with public transportation as my vehicle...

From my house to the office location, it would take 3 buses, and 2 trains just to get me there...OMG! I thought maybe just a train and a bus...but no, 3 buses and 2 trains...it's not worth it!!! Damn...according to my estimation, just getting there would take about 3-4 hours...so daily, I would travel for about 8 hours...6 hours minimum...I don't even know how frequent are the buses, but yeah...not gonna happen!!! Sorry...i'm gonna call the guy and explain to him! OMG!!!

Ok, the money is sooooo not worth this part-time job...soooo not worth it! It would be different if I was driving, but no, little sister gets the car...and of course, I'm stuck here taking the public transport like I always do...when will I catch a break for once? Sigh...somehow, I'm gonna need to look for a short-term job for my trip!!! Please, God...please!!!

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WOW!!! OMG IT'S REALLY DONE AND MY VARSITY LIFE IS OVER...OVER, I TELL YA!!!

So...now what? Lemme get to thinking and I'll let me know...yes, you read it...ME! Coz I sure as hell still don't have a plan...my plans went down the drain about a year after my first year at uni...

...damn! Somebody...help. Anybody? OMG...

Okok, the story first...my thesis editing went on like Hell's Kitchen during the periods of chaos...OMG, then there came a time where my MS Word started giving problem because I stupidly did this whole 'page break' thing...so in the end, I couldn't insert page numbers, and A sorta got into the whole mess...It was almost 4pm, and we were supposed to be printing the work already!!! So A offered to let me use her laptop to fix it...but I failed...SHIT!!! And I still had more to do like the references and shit like that! Didn't even proof-read the whole thing!

Thank God A managed to figure it all out and put the pages in for me...sorry coco! I'll always be grateful... :')

Then, we started getting to our destination...A also found out from her friend about this place just outside of campus that makes thesis hard covers in just a day...of course, we had to pay extra, but we didn't care! So we asked the lady and she confirmed this...so we paid about 2 times the price I think...but seriously...I had no regrets...just as long as it was done!

And then we paid almost 90 bucks...that's including printing out 2 copies of the thesis, with multiple reprints because we didn't proof-read our writings, LMAO!!! Now, that was funny...but in the end, we left with a slight feeling of accomplishment!

The next day, I managed to pass it up on the day itself...the 5th of May 2010, in which a huge burden left my shoulders after I signed that final form...I had to go without the partner in crime coz Dad had to use the car so I had to hurry...boo!

Then, as I walked towards the car, it hit me...

"It's over...just like that?"

It felt so surreal...every single time I tell myself that an intensely chaotic period will pass...it does, of course...but this...this whole experience...it's really over! Oh.my.God.

I came home and slept like a baby...seriously been like a zombie running on caffeine and junk. Now I have the chance to cut the intake...hopefully my skin will get better soon...and those inches gained throughout uni will melt away with a new regiment...I hope!!!

Now, I'm supposed to be focusing on this work thing I have in Damansara...I was hired for a short stint at an events company. They need a receptionist. I need to make some money. However, I have no idea how to get there so looks like I have to do some homework...and of course, I don't even know if it's worth the pittance I'll be making, since it's quite far from my place...hmmmm...well...why not, eh? At least I won't be stuck being too much of a couchie at home...which I am right now, heheheh! Of course, I'm paying back for all the times I've missed at home...and you know what? By the time I start working...I mean OFFICIALLY...I'll be working like a slave for the rest of my life, won't I? So let me revel in my high-density sloth!!!

All this while planning the trip to France...yes, people...the trip is on...and for now, it shall be my main focus (among other things, lol!)...there's lots to do. Many have pulled-out due to this and that...but we shall overcome and like I said, God knows and never disappoint...now I know why it didn't happen in May...HE knew we wouldn't be able to make it on that particular date...HE knew...and HE is going to make it happen for us in November...so, I pray that it happens at this moment...I know in my heart that this trip will change me in some way...I don't know what and how, but it will...

For now...I bid my formal education adieu...and I don't know what the future holds for me, but I certainly plan to further my studies down the road...one thing about me is...I do something and finish it...so I'm glad I finished this Degree in IR...and finished all the levels of the French language at UKM with my friends (learning French has been my dream since primary school so I'm glad, so glad...I finally managed to learn it)...at least now I know that I actually DON'T love IR, lol! So, in essence...I'll be taking a Masters Degree in something I love. I'll just need the time to figure out what I love...this will be a toughie, since I love so many things...

Good luck to all my dear friends...you are going to face a whole different battle now. Congratulations on this particular one...it has been a honor to fight the fight right beside you! ;)

The next post will be a tribute to all of you...hehehe! Why not, eh? I'm free now so let me be! Okay, gonna go chill with the 'Boobettes' tomorrow...my other circle. See ya!

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The title sums up how I've been feeling these past few weeks; cooped-up in this room, pressure building from worries, anxiety, zits, belly fat, etc...all coz i've not been moving much...just moving from the seat to my bed, and to the seat again (save for buying food, bathing, toilet breaks and going home for awhile...), the stress shows on my face and body coz I haven't been taking care of it since the beginning of the semester! -____-

After all the crap of anxiousness and panic, I kept repeating, "God help me, God help me, God help me..." while trying my best to help myself think clearly and ridding myself out of a writer's block!

Today, I completed the final draft and nervously went to see my supervisor. The first few minutes was excruciating, as he was reading quite silently...he then started to correct a few technical errors such as hyphenations and explained that I needed footnotes as well as the author-date system...okaaaay, looks like everybody gives me different information...dang! But I was more interested in the contents...was it correct or wrong...or???

"Well, this is after all YOUR findings, so I can't be the one to say that you're wrong..."

-____-

So he goes on to say that his responsibility is to check on my first and last chapter...the correlation, the format, the essence of my dissertation...it took quite awhile till my classmate under his supervision as well came knocking...she has completed hers and is ready to bind it! Whoaaa...

So then he said what I should amend, talked a little about the formatting (UKM style sucks...go with Chicago style, lmao!), etc...and I asked him about minimum pages...and he actually said that there's no minimum! WHOAAA!!! Ok!!! And what about the literature review? He said, "...about five books." Whaaaat??? Hahahaha...and I was flustered at all this revelations...damn, I should've asked him before...

So for now, I'm back...bought some lunch! Now, a huge burden is lifted and I have the whole weekend to do this shit of a thesis! Oh holy crap, I forgot...I have to move out, stat!!! Awww man!!!

For now all I have is one thing to say, and that is thank you God for letting me finish in time for my appointment with Dr. X...at least I could do it during the weekend! God is great!

PS: Wee, I so wanna go, k? Next weekend? Sorry...but i'm up for drinks if you are! Miss you guys...;)

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No...it's not the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry...MAF is an acronym for the coolest and sweetest bunch of peeps I know! LOL!

I'm shamelessly into Tokio Hotel...as you've already been told countless of times, heheh! Indeed, TH is my guilty pleasure!!! Many people think they're lame and stuff like that...my sister despises them, hahahah! But I really enjoy their music for the many reasons I've stated before!

So to think that they bought me TH's latest album for my birthday...it's just so...so...thoughtful! It's the thought that counts ok??? Even if you gave me some cheap mamak-stall lunch for my birthday, i'd still appreciate it...hahahaha! But of course this is waaaaay better! LMAO!

For my part, the moment Munik shoved a little bag onto my hands, I thought..."Awwww, thank you!"

Then I opened it...




...I was speechless for a few seconds, but I said a lot by my actions:

1. Shrieking like a 15 year-old stereotypical bimbotic high school chick
2. Jumping while wearing a kebaya (thank God nobody was around!)
3. Smiling from ear-to-ear; before that I was really in a bad mood

Then M says, "Sorry we couldn't get you any tickets..." Are you kidding? This thing you gave me says a lot ok?

To me, it says "We don't care how lame TH is, we bought it for you coz we know you love them!"

Thank you guys...you know I wanted to get the CD for so long, but never got to a chance to get it. The fact that YOU bought it makes it more valuable to meeee...why? 'Coz it's the sweetest thing!!! You bought it coz you know how much I love TH! That.is.the.sweetest.thing!!! Hahahaha...you girls have to sign it k!!!

Love ya!!!

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I just realized that I can't just go out for a drive in the wee hours of the morning anymore...why? Coz mom friggin' changed her car to some bigger car...and she's so paranoid that I might scratch it or hit something, that now I'M the one who's scared to drive it... :/

So much for wanting to sneak out for a 4-something Mickey D brekkie (which I enjoy more than the lunch!)...damn, I miss that small car!!! Bad choice in changing cars, mom...bad choice! It was so practical and efficient...and you saved loads on gas!

I'm so hungry right now...oh yeah, mom bought an itty-bitty waffle-maker...I came home the other day and started jumping like a fcukin' retard when I saw it...Yeah, I was in ultimate bliss, but also in 'jakun' mode, hehehe...

Now I can make waffles any time I want!!! Woohoo...need to brush up on making the perfect waffle...from scratch! Heheheh...

Off to hunt for food and ransack the kitchen...fridge, here I come!

UPDATE: Just talking bout waffles...I couldn't help but give in to my cravings...so I had to make the batter (super lazy though!!!) but I cheated and used that Pillsbury mix instead...still tasted like waffles, so nothing to it...and of course, ya gots to add de butta and maple syrup...and "hallelujah!!!" Once you take that first bite... :P

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What would I do without you?

It's not hard for me to admit...you keep me sane. It's too organic; the way I find it easy to let it all out - through you. Heck, you're like an addiction!

I wish I could find something which I love as much as I love writing stuff in my head down in this thing called a blog...I'm not kidding!

3 years of tertiary studies almost ending, and I've still yet to have a clear road to where I'm heading. It's kinda like I'm driving a car on a dark desert road, not knowing where I'm going. The headlights are on, but all I can see are the next 20 feet...and nothing beyond.

I already made my choice not to join the diplomatic corps, much to my mom's disdain. Well, I always thought that I wanted to be a diplomat...but maybe what I actually wanted was to travel. Yes, I am quite ok when it comes to following protocols and shit...but is that ME? Hell no!

I know what I want to achieve, and yet I know not how to get there...and that, my pretties...is the beautiful letdown!

...know something?

What I'm doing right now is finding another reason not to finish my thesis! Wtf. Will continue soon as I send my draft. At least I'm done with my final group assignment...speaking of assignments...M,A and F...I think we need a group name. So in the future, I can refer to us as one entity...suuweeet!!!

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Well, you know i'm your average university student...I haven't been sleeping at the right hours lately (as if I ever did!) due to...you know, THESIS DEADLINE...ARRRGGGHHHH!

So, it's 6.30 in the morning...i'm skimming through pages of "CGE Model used as an economic forecast of a possible FTA"...and my mind just won't let me read anymore...so I skip to the next task...Environmental Politics *double yucks*, thank you very much!!! Then I realize, why the hell are there so many bugs in my room? Yes, I do normally leave my windows open 24/7 unless I go home...I need proper ventilation and I hate stuffiness! Ok, the bugs...guess the rain made them seek refuge in my room. Bugs...a variety of little bugs...crawling on the 4 walls that surround me...harmless, i'm sure...but annoying nonetheless!!!

So I get the Shieldtox and kill 'em all!!! Then, I see a whole bunch of them drop dead on my floor...and that's including the mother-effin' bee that's been buzzing around the fluorescent lightbulb!

"YESSSS...gotcha, little biatch!!!" But, wait...

The bug display on the floor can't be left just like that, right? So I start sweeping my whole room floor like the mad girl that I am...moving things here and there, sweeping under the table and chair...it's almost 7 in the morning and i'm still not sleepy. So, without thinking twice, I head outside for the mop...and i'm mopping the floor at 6.50 am. Now my room is clean and dust-free...smells great too, since it's the purple Ajax I stole from home...it's much better than the brand I have here.

So there...my story. It's 7.10 and I still don't feel a tad sleepy. Maybe i'll try to finish up this Environmental Policy assignment which I luuuuuurrrvvvveee so much! -_____-

Herein ends the awkward tale of my bug massacre+sweeping+mopping trifecta. Hope you liked it. Thank you and have a nice day.

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The title says it all...it's amazing how some people can be so...I don't know, boastful? Maybe that wasn't how they were making it out to be, but it appears so. Maybe you don't care what people think, but hey...I have a right to an opinion just like you do. AND this is my blog so I can say whatever the hell I wanna say, so there! People nowadays...

We now live in a world where humility is lacking; it is underrated, IMO...but I think it speaks volumes of a person's self-worth when he/she remains humble whenever they gain something. Don't get me wrong, I always feel happy for another person when they get/achieve something that makes them happy...hell, I don't blame you for wanting to tell the whole world coz I would too!

It's when they begin to show a certain attitude about it; that's what gets to me. Why? Because by showing a degree of cockiness, they are lacking gratitude and gaining a huge ego. I don't know...it's not what you say about it...it's HOW you say it. Kinda confusing, but I know you can tell when a person is excited vs. when a person is showing off (while seeming unaware of it)...now where's the good in that?

I for one would never let my younger sisters be that way...hell, I recommend that you bitch-slap me if you catch me doing that! That'll get me back to Earth! LMAO...

I am lucky...very very lucky because I do NOT have friends like that. Thank you guys for you are the epitome of 'down-to-earth'...

Gratitude...learn it...live it!

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Finally I got an answer from the US Embassy!!! It helps...a lot!!!

Thank you God!!! Now I have ample data to complete this shizz... :P

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Read: I HATE THIS!!!

I have been really trying my best to MAKE myself complete this thing called a thesis...but I fail as soon as I start! What the hell is wrong with me? I am in an utter mess...all this attempt to lock myself in my room to focus has been utterly useless...so far, I have been doing useless stuff like watching movies, playing the bloody rusty-stringed guitar...basically everything except my thesis!!! Heck, I've been reading-up on physics, can you believe it? Epic fail!!! PHYSICS!!! A subject I used to hate while I was studying it!!! OMG...

Please, God...I beg of you...please please please give me the strength to finish this before the deadline...coz it's really driving me up the wall...it's not that I can't, the problem is that I won't! I know it doesn't make sense, but that's just it! I won't do it...Ok, I can't understand it myself...

Okok...I guess i'll try again...but God, please be with me this time! Please, please, pretty please?

Speaking of other stuff...I found this treasure of a classic out of AFI's top 10 classic list (SEE WHAT I MEAN???)

It's called 12 Angry Men, a black and white courtroom drama. 12 jurors' need to decide on a boy's life; whether he's guilty beyond reasonable doubt or innocent. It's simply riveting, compelling...remarkable! No wonder it's a classic! It seems like a low-budget film, since the set is rather limited...the story itself is what got me glued throughout the movie. Glad for stumbling upon this gem...I think i'm now gonna try watching more classic movies...the B&W kind!

Other than 12 Angry Men, my other fave classic is It's a Wonderful Life, starring James Stewart. Ahhh, the classic "...everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings" is the kind you tend to keep in your head forever!

So after everything is done (THESIS arrrggghhhh!!!), i'm gonna try to get Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Ben-Hur, Spartacus, etc...Man, if only there was a movie scholar needed...I would certainly die for it!!!

Okaaay...back to reality! Wish me luck...God be with me! Amen.

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It's been awhile since we had our sleepovers/slumber party/assignment night...it's fun and I know these are our last days together...for real! So i'm all in for our latest gossips, movies, music comparisons, and more...all while attempting to do this bloody assignment!

K, useless post... -________- kinda lazy to write. Guess i'll save it for the thesis...

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Been watching the Godfather series (I and II - coz those are the two that matter, hahaha!) again and again...damn, I love it so much!!! The story, the dynamics of the roles...the calculating cunningness of the Dons Corleone...the cinematography...everything!!!

Just watching the rise of Michael to the head of the Cosa Nostra gets me all hooked and stuff...heck, I even disregarded my thesis...fuck!!! Michael starts off as a young buck with no hope of joining in the family business. In fact, he enlists in the Marine Corps, which everyone hates (except Fredo)...but then (to cut things short) he is faced with unavoidable and unexpected circumstances where we witness his rise to power and becomes the new Don by killing all the heads of the other mafia families...so as to avoid being killed himself.

The second one, we now focus on Vito's young days and the current Don Michael Corleone's personal journey throughout the movie...while we see Vito's rise, we also see Michael betrayed and left by everyone he thought highly of...and towards the end, he has no-one...except maybe his kids...and Tom Hagen (one of my favorite characters in the movie).

His wife played by Diane Keaton was boring...blah! But Talia Shire was great as his sister...and so was James Caan as Sonny, Robert Duvall as Tom and also John Cazale as Fredo!!! And who could forget, Marlon Brando as Don Vito...with his stuffed cheeks and unforgettable voice...heck, I imitate the Don all the time (to some friends who are fans as well), hehehe! And lines you hear in the real world...they're all taken from here!!! Believe it, people!!!

In all the 'hits' in both movies, I kinda felt sorry for Fredo...hated that he had to die...boo!!! Oh, and the time Sonny gets killed at the causeway...boo!!! The 'hits' I loved were the those which were featured in the final killing montage at the end of Godfather I...a masterpiece I must say!

Now I remembered watching Godfather III, but I can't seem to recall the story...all I can remember is that is sucks...oh, I also remember Andy Garcia...that's it...but hearing that it sucks just gives credibility to my assumption. Hmmmm, I can't remember the movie, but I'm certain that it sucks...LMAO! Wtf...

Okay...so I love Pacino...sue me! He was sooo hot...heck, to me he's still hot!!! Hahahaha, hot old method-man! I totally love his movies...Godfather, Scarface, ...And Justice for All, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Scent of A Woman, Frankie and Johnny, ahhhhh...there's just too many!!! Okok...I love ALL of his movies!!! ALL of 'em...yes...even Ocean's 13 AND Devil's Advocate...hehehe! Angels In America too (he did such a good job in this miniseries!!!)

Ok...was talking about the Godfather...why did I end up talking about Pacino's movie bio? Typical!!!

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Yes, the trip to Paris has been postponed...yes, I am allowed to go...of course! But if it's in November, I can't be certain because I might end up having to work...what kind of job allows a just-hired employee to take 10-days' leave?

I wish I had some luck so that somehow, we can make it...WE; as in ALL of my besties...je donc, notre lecons pour la langue francais...c'est pour une visite historique pour notre vivres...I just want it to happen coz I truly believe it will change us somehow...

All this plus the fact that my thesis isn't even done...that's me for ya! Ok, got to keep my priorities in check! Thesis, here I come!!!

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Why is everyone getting married/engaged??? Did I miss something here? I know, I know...we are in our early 20s, and of course...i'm not throwing any sort of judgment whatsoever...but damn! How can it be so many people at the same time? Who are my age!!!

People you never thought would settle down are settling...and I remember exactly how they were when they were much younger...I remember it all! But now, they're going and getting themselves hitched. I don't know why, but I tend to think women give up a lot of their dreams when they marry. Why? Because they will go on and spawn...then, their kids become the priority.

I am in no way saying that you can't achieve anything when you have children...but i'm saying that a small part of you or who you were dies when you hear the cry of your firstborn. You may be much happier than you ever imagined, but that part of you who was a little bit selfish; the good kind, the kind that thinks of their happiness melts away, unveiling selflessness...then, all the dreams you had of reaching your fullest potential will be put in the back burner...

Don't you want to travel the world...experience different cultures...find yourself...reach your limits...go on a high-adrenaline adventure right before going to that place where your new home is to live with your partner with ultimate bliss, knowing that NOW you can be with them, body, mind and soul and have no regrets?

What I am now is scared...scared that I may fall in love, get married, have children...and end up resenting the fact that I didn't chase my dreams or reach my potential. I'm scared for myself...perhaps this is the reason I am so afraid of marriage. Commitment? Well, i'm not that afraid...not unless it leads to marriage...then i'm doomed!

Okay...finally I discover the "why?" to my problem...thank you marriage aka 'mating' season for helping me find the answer!

Now those who are in love or those who are engaged and stuff...please don't take it against me. I'm just saying what I think...after all, this is MY blog...maybe in the future, I would be the one who would have to eat my own words, but for now...this is how my mind is going! Sorry...

Have a great April Fool's Day, everyone!!! ;D

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