Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Wanna Run Away...For Now!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I have so much to be angry at; my angst towards the world just keeps getting bigger by the day! Don't you sometimes feel like the world is out to get you? Coz sometimes your luck is like, "Whoa, Nelly!!!"-- I mean, sometimes it's too good to be true...but then you hit a spot where all the good turns bad, you know what I mean?

I just don't get it...is life really a cycle of good times and bad? I just can't seem to enjoy the happy times coz I keep waiting for the bad to come...it's me in paranoid-mode, and I hate it! I hate being cynical about everything...I hate it so much!!!

Me whining ain't much help for me...I just want to purge my negativity in this blog, coz this is all that i've got...my friends here are ok, but I really miss my childhood friends, now doing their own thing--everyone's always too busy to hangout (even me!)

Varsity life isn't so depressing, mind you...it's the circumstances that makes things suck!
Why can't there be good, and nothing else? Why do all good things come to an end? THAT is my question!

I don't really know what the hell i'm talking about. Nowadays I talk crap all the time...seriously! Just today, I was at this tutorial talking about...I don't even remember! Then, when it came to giving questions or comments, I sort of was trying to understand what another student was saying...ok, that was done---then, I stupidly opened my mouth to make an analogy that didn't even make any sense at all! I mean, WTF, dudes...what the hell did I do? I didn't make sense at all! I couldn't even salvage my statements by covering that up! No, I didn't...I just shut the fuck up, and held my frickin' tongue in case I said another stupid thing!

A pretty long post, this one...but I don't fuckin' care, coz it's my blog, and i'll blog long if I want to!

Now, back to my whining... I recently asked my friend to take comfort in prayer, but then I realized that I don't pray as much as I should- I mean, it's not sincere...Sigh, I don't know, I guess maybe it's some sort of a phase or something.

My student loan has NOT been credited yet! Calling the line of the officers supposedly responsible for my problems have gone, unanswered...those answering the hotline keep playing the "not our fault, it's the bank's fault" line on me...I just stand there, not knowing if I want to laugh or cry...and I ended up laughing, coz they are too predictable!

A friend has given me a few media contacs, for me to complain...so I will! My Mom told me to wait it out till this week, but i've been waiting for my freakin' money for a month, and I can't even get a straight answer from those idiots! So, since my Mom's advise is crucial to me making a decision, I wil wait it out...but only till this week! After that...you know...

What am I listening to?
My Sharona by The Knack...i'm bobbing my head and tapping my feet like an idiot in the Cyber place, and people are staring like i'm high on something...LOL! What a freak I am...but I don't care!

Oh, shit, a headache's coming...I'd better go back to my dorm and read educational stuff...and meditate, or pray, or do something good!

Toodlez, bitches!


Josh said...

Sometimes that kind of angst just feels like you're losing control.. Like all the forces of the universe conspire to suffocate and emasculate you, robbing you of your power to affect the universe.

Sometimes it's nice to find a little corner of life that you *can* control - cook yourself a delicious meal, perhaps.

Just a bit of unsolicited advice from a total stranger.

ledzeppelin4evr said...

Sometimes unsolicited advice from a total stranger is a good thing...thanks, stranger!