Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Fucked-up Shit!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Aaaarghhh...Why is it when things go well, it ends up slapping you in the face? Yeah, things are looking up now...Then, all of a sudden, it's trampled on like rotten tomatoes!!! OK, here's the deal, my hols started in its full gear, so now what? Everyone's doing something, going somewhere...So, what's left? Me. Alone. Doing nothing, achieving nothing...Zip! Nada! I'm like a lone star in the night, like a lonely canyon of the desert, like the only leaf on a tree...I'm all alone!

I hate it when there's lack of productivity in my life...Oh, by the way, had a fuckin' fight with my sister...Again! It's not like we don't ever fight, it's just that she keeps quarelling with her damn boyfriend every single day, every single night...About things as petty as not calling...Oh, you get the idea! It just pisses me off! Ok, i don't have a boyfriend, and i so hate people 'pitying' me just 'coz i don't have one. If this is what a relationship is - this fighting-every-day thing, i might as well resort to spinsterhood for the rest of my freakin' life!

So, what else is there? Well, the fact that i must be responsible for practically everybody's mistakes makes me wanna puke. Everytime my dad gets back from work, he scans the house...My mom and my sis? They leave their unwashed cups and saucers on the table...and what happens? Dad scolds me for letting the house get messy, while giving me a lecture on being neat and tidy...Wtf??? Well, don't let me get started on that subject...There's more, mind you...Most of 'em is what the eldest child of a family experiences. I'm practically the maid of the house - minus the wages!

I can't wait for xmas...Meanwhile, i'm broke as hell...Lent some money to my sister...Yeah, the very same day she said she couldn't care less about me...I'm used to all this shit, but it hurts me everytime, not because of me, but because of my parents...Her behavior is a reflection on the way my parents raised us, "the children"...And when she screams and shouts at me or anyone else, it seems like they didn't bring her up well. What the hell could i do? Advise her? Huh, she'll just keep calling me a bitch, and say i'm such a grandma and she couldn't care less about what i have to say...

Blatant disrespect is what i get! They say you have to give respect to gain it...Well, i'm living proof that this cliché is total bullshit! A daughter so loved by her family would do practically anything for her boyfriend, and yet, couldn't even have a family outing without some sort of bribe...That's being the perfect daughter for you! And me? I'm stuck here in my room, doing nothing productive, bitchin' and ravin' like a lunatic on meth, wishing for a savior, wishing her parents would appreciate her, wishing that her sister respects her, and wishing her friends could be free so that they could take her out for a day of fun, but alas...That is asking for the moon!