Life's Sick Lil' Games...

I know for a fact that I have lots to say or talk or write about, coz a lot has happened in the past few weeks...a lot!

But all in all, it was just great...nothing more, nothing less...guess the minute details will just have to remain in my memories coz I just don't know what to write about, heheheh! From th not-so-reunion (coz I wasn't even in the range of classmates...but I knew some of them), to the spontaneous trip to my friend's kampung (since over a year ago), to outings with my sisters...right up to tonight's freak-filled drive with the middles sister and "adopted" sister...lol!

Ok...hope there will be more stuff going on.

I thank God for everything in my life every single day. I'm happy because my parents and sisters seem happier...my parents don't argue like they used to...and I'm seriously happy because of this.

My mom and dad are super-stoked that I'm graduating...with mom always posting stuff about my "achievement" on her Facebook wall...much to my embarrassment! Ok, being the first child, I guess I could understand the pride of being their first child who completes their studies...I thought my mom was too much; my dad told EVERYONE! Okaaaaaaay...done!

I really enjoyed hanging out with the CS gang...it's like we never separated...the moment we got together...it was non-stop chatting for hours...thanks F...I swear, I had so much fun despite just being there for "1 hari 1 malam"...

It's football season now...and I want Argentina to win!!! Yeah...but if they should go out early on, I would support Germany...coz ich liebe deutschland sometimes, hehehe....and it's not because of Tokio Hotel ok!!! I supported Germany during the previous FIFA...then switched to Italy during the finals...

K, maybe I'm talking about too many things...so I best get a move on and switch my ass from this chair to the TV couch!

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Right now, i am happy...thank you for this year! It has been wonderful (towards the end) mainly because i am fortunate enough to be with my family...it is the FIRST time the five of us are together...

I don't know why, but i feel like the next year will be just fine. I know i always get a hunch about certain things that may come true...or maybe wishes and thought manifesting into reality...but yeah, i think 2010 is going to be a good year.

I also feel like something good is going to happen to me...don't know why, but i do. Geez, i know it seems crazy, but i don't know why i feel this way. I think i've been reading too many books on self-growth and happiness...i'm finally seeing the silver lining in the things around me.

On another note...

A friend of mine never fails to make me feel like a fool...one minute, that person complains about the bane of having a dickwad for a partner...the next minute...back with the said jerk. I mean what the hell, right? Please don't go asking me shit if you're not gonna get it...it just pisses me off how you could let a person treat you like shit. Love is not blind...if you love yourself enough, it should open your eyes.

Ok, done with that moment of toxic negativity...yes, it is bloody toxic...and i shall leave it right now and never open up about this again. You wanna talk about stuff like this with me again, i'll give you a piece of my mind just like i did before...and you may or may not repeat the cycle. People can claim they love you...but if you don't start loving yourself...you may never see the truth.

Funny how i just feed you with oxymoronic themes, eh? Well, these are just my 2 cents worth...you don't have to agree. I'm just sayin'...

To a good year ahead...cheers! Salut! Toodlez, bitches!

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See what I said about the law of attraction? I obsessed about going to France for a long time now...heck, it's one of the reasons i took up the language! And though I felt an inkling of a possibility of going there, i didn't wanna jinx it till it was remotely possible!

And now, i've been informed that a committee is to be formed, and of course...i was over-zealously upfront in claiming a spot! Hope i get in...the lecturer even said that higher-level students are given priority which means...go figure! Level 4, thank you very much!

And I know for a fact...by hook or by crook! I WILL be in France next year! I will! I can even feel the atmosphere of the cafes, Arc du Triomphe and Champs-Elysees...Le Tour d'Eiffel...OMG!

I thank you God for the chance...just seeing an opportunity gives me sheer joy coz it leads me to believe that thinking and visualizing manifests into reality. It always does when you have some positivity...the universe always helps you get what you want. So for now let me do a Dorothy and pretend my ruby slippers would send me en France! I know, don't count your eggs before they hatch...but I for one am not gonna taint this dream with a hint of negativity! It's toxic...so any negativity will be banished!

Je vais aller en France avec mes amis...c'est super et incroyable! Maintenant, 'Le Secret' à Rhonda Byrne c'est vrai pour moi!

Please...the Secret by Rhonda Byrne...i've always vouched for its propensity for working...read it if you can. If you want it...i'll share! Tell me if you do... :)

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Yep...indeed it is! My mom's not gonna be here this frickin' Christmas! She goes to East Malaysia for a month on the 13 of December...OMG, she's not even gonna be here on New Year's Eve!

I'm hating xmas already...

How am I gonna cope? My poor baby sis, though...well, my poor mom's gonna be posted somewhere during the holidays, without her family. I so hate "the office" right now you have no idea. She even has to work OT (without the OT pay) since they got "new management"...I mean, isn't there labor laws regarding this? Hmmmpphh!!!

Just feeling bitter that my mom can't be here with us...it also doesn't help much to realize that you haven't gone anywhere to chillout...it's all like a big blur right now. And mom is constantly unwell. This year...man, i dunno...this year sucks, actually. I really pray that the next year would be my...i mean OUR year! I need some happy endings in my life. And so far, it's unhappy endings all the way. Just goes to show that you don't always get what you want!

I would lastly like to reiterate...

I HATE 2008...IT'S BEEN A SUCKY YEAR!!!

Thank you!

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A bittersweet feeling occurs when times like these pass...

It's not that I don't wanna go home, but it's more like, "What have I really done or achieved in the past semester?"

It's more like a surge of missing the past...yeah, in the moment, you don't feel it. But when it's time to pack up, you tend to look back and reminisce...then, you sigh at how quick time slips through your fingers; causing you to think about the way you wasted it on idleness...

Emoting? Maybe...

But there sure is truth in it.

Plans for the holidays? I sure as hell hope that I can use the time to meet up with lost contacts...and I hope I do not use stupid reasons such as "lack of ca$h" and "busy with babysitting my sister"...UNACCEPTABLE!!!

I will make time! I will have fun coz I have the right to be happy (as one of my fave lecturers keep telling us). Yes...I do have the right to be happy. Perhaps some ME-time won't be so bad, right?

Okay...done with the emo thing...back to business.

How do I pack these stuff in my dorm already? Shit!

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While I wait for the bloody loan to be credited, I suppose I could plan my to-buy list! Already, I owe a friend money, as she kindly paid for some books I copied (Thanks, Ms. F!)...I have yet to pay for other stuff, like fees, clothes, books, and much more.

I also want to help my parents...and I will, with no regrets.

Sometimes, I sit and see my family, and although we're not rich, i'm glad that we are all unselfish towards one another...i'm glad that we're not poverty-stricken...i'm glad we have a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs.

And I pray with all my heart that I somehow make it in this world, that I can be a good example for my sisters, and someone Mom and Dad can be proud of! Such big dreams I have...and yet, I hope it all comes true, God-willing...

Wow, what an emo post! Kinda short, but it says what I want to for now...maybe a longer one will come out the next time...for now, so long, bitches!

Toodlez!

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Over the weekend, I went over to my aunt's apartment, she's renting out a room to a boy, around my age, maybe a little older...my cousin rents out another room.

This guy seems pretty decent, shy and ...awww, you know, the boy next door...okay, that's all I can say.

You know what's the problem? My mom has started to ask my cousin to hook me up with this guy...My MOM!!! Now my cousin and aunt are in on it...everytime the boy is there, they let out hints that I am single...and the fact that he's single too is pretty weird. WTF, man? Okay, if you guys wanna joke with me, hey, i'm fine with that...in fact, i'm the master of being the court jester...but c'mon, not in front of the guy.

Now, I find it awkward even going to the place...this all started when my aunt's grandaughter said, "Hey, that boy is cute...why don't you make him your boyfriend?" in front of him...Yikes...I then laugh with a hint of embarassment.

Why is it, that I can't be single and happy without people butting-in? My mom should be proud that i'm not dependent on anyone...that's what gets to me. Note to self: more on this on my next post...

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