Life's Sick Lil' Games...

Well, what have i done?

Pretty much a lot!!! Just this week , i tried to complete as much as possible...from work, to assignments to researches...to blablabla!

I'm so fuckin' tired...but i guess i'm loving it! Huhhhhhh, the times are abuzzing, and i'm just getting started! My exams are coming soon, and i've yet to study...

French class is getting more and more difficult, as the grammar is a total 360 degrees from English. Wow!!! There's so much difference...masculine and feminine? Who could tell? You'd have to have a dictionary to tell...

Well, i'm loving globalization and international systems...it's cool! Strategy? YES...but the lecturer for Strategy? Kind of a bore...English? Used to be my fave during high school, but this subject in uni is kinda 'kindergaten-esque for me'! It's like teaching ABC to a grown-up...this is due to the standard of English among public university students.

It's kind of a pity, because their not used to it...BUT it's kinda unfair for people who are fluent to pay for those unable to speak English...they should NOT mix people with different levels of English...it's not the right system!

Well, till next time...a lot to do...so bye!

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I love going out!

In my nonexistant social life, i just make up for it in one day out with friends. We were supposed to go watch a movie. Well, i wanted to go watch a movie featuring my one of my fave actors in a singing role...i guess you know who it is!

As expected, friends would rather watch something else...in the end, after reaching our destination, we decided for two rounds of bowling instead! Bwahahah!!!

Went and bowled, scouted for cute guys and cam-whored every chance we had! We wanted the pics to remind us of campus life, you know.

I'm not that much into posing, but it was fun. Lol! Guess i'm a closet poser!

Came home the next day, forgot that i had a deadline...Shit! I hate working p/time! Very much a WOMT (waste of my time)!!!

Now, after this, i'm gonna carry on with that work i'm supposed to be finished with by now!

And not forgetting my assignments...whoah!!!

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Hi blog!

It's been ages since i poured my heart out (seems so!), but i have deadlines to attend to.

I have work, i have assignments, and no time.

I am not really eating like i should nowadays due to beyond-sucky food...i hoped to be back home by friday, but i can't due to assignments...boy, when you're busy you're really busy...

I mean, it's almost like double or triple-whammy all in one go. But when you're bored as hell...hmmmm! That sorta sums it up!

As you know, i'm more of a hectic-loving person...i'd rather do something than do nothing. However, i am slowly losing my sense of self...oh shit! Am i going nutso? Usually, losing your sense of self is a turning point towards a huge blowout, but i'm pretty sure i can handle things, coz i always do...

So now i have to say...God help me! LOL!

Peace!

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After a week of TV and boredom, i'm going back to uni. Helluva week it was. I can't believe how moody i was.

Sometimes, i hate the holidays because you have to face your family everyday...it could drive a person nuts, you know?

I didn't go out...friends were busy with their celebrations, plus i didn't even make any initiatives with any pals to go out and have some fun.

Now, i just wanna go to my dorm and take a break from my family, coz i need it. Who needs criticism when you have a family?

I know, whenever i get back to uni, i'll miss them. I much prefer that feeling than when i am here at home, getting annoyed.

PS: I DO love them...

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I have no idea what the hell is going on with my MS Word, but i've really gone nuts! Why in hell does it crash before it even loads?

I did loadsa research and found that maybe there were add-ins that gave in to the problems...after doing all sorts of shit to my notebook, like renaming template files, and inhiding system files and meticulously checking it one-by-one, i discovered this:

I CAN'T FREAKIN' FIX THIS SHIT!!! Microsoft says: "It's unfixable!!!"

What am i to do?

Answer: Buy/borrow MS Office CD-rom and reinstall everything, even though the rest of the Offfice gang are working! Ima git me a better office!

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I'm so bored!

I haven't been out since i came home, been so lazy...just now i was in such a bad, cranky mood i sorta took it out on my family with my laser mouth.

Sometimes, i just wish i don't hv holidays coz it makes me do nothing but watch tv, and nothing else...

Haven't gone to take my stuff from the dorm as dad usually promises to send me there, but to no avail...TYPICAL!

Don't you just feel that you hate certain days...u feel like you just want to go to bed and never wake up? That's how i feel today! I realized something a few days ago...I only have have my family to live for...nothing else! My future? I sometimes feel like i'm too jaded to do anything. This phase comes and goes, but it's there nonetheless...and i hate it!

My sister ha taken to seeing a shrink about her problems...you see, she's not doing so well in the mental health area. And you know, i'll never be like that. I thank God i have the sanity.

Sometimes, i just wished omething good would happen for me, you know? I always take the harder way, because i don't want to owe anything to anybody. I don't want favors, i don't like feeling indebted. I like doing things like this as a challenge i would rise up to, and i usually do.

But, in my life, who can be a witness to all of this, except for me? Who is there to grow with me?

This is my whiny post of the day. Coz if i ain't whining, i ain't ME!

G'bye!

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The holidays reign in the gov universities, but i for one, ain't gonna complain!

I just got back yesterday, and hope to have a great week! Please, please, let me get what i want!

I want to finish the great books i borrowed...which has been long overdue...kept renewing the due date, but never got to read them, as i was so busy with things...Grapes of Wrath (rereading it), Catcher in the Rye, 1984, The Prince, and Tortilla Flat. Hope these are great!

Anyway, i can't help but come home and love it...coz my dorm would never equate for the comforts of home!

My wisdom tooth is growing...and it sucks. What a nuisance!

Chinese New Year is beckoning, the year of the rat calls us to hail in its presence...

I just love the mandarin oranges! Lol...

I wish all the chinese in the world a very happy Chinese New Year! (like as if they read this!)

Bye!

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Just another boring Monday...feeling so bloody bored that i can't even think about what to write.

Will continue once i get a clue. If not, maybe next time.

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Well, the week was soo hectic...I am literally swamped with shit to do for this semester. Seeing that i have taken the heavy task of taking an extra subject, my weekly schedule has been packed to four hectic days...well, more like 3.5 hectic days.

On Mondays, i just have one measly class. But Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are full. I have classes from morning to night, and from different faculties, too.

It wouldn't seem so bad if the buses here were efficient. They are so bloody annoying! How long do the students wait for a fuckin bus to come by? And they sometimes wouldn't go the route they're supposed to go. Just plain stinks!

And then they say why UKM can't be no. 1...how can you be no.1 if even your bus service tends to be crappy? Food ain't so good either. The syllabus...don't get me started.

However, I seem to be happier this semester. My roomie seems better than i thought she would be...she's ok. My friends and i hang out more often. I've concluded that i wouldn't wanna be too active in the activities...i'm just gonna chill with what i already have.

WiFi in my dorm is still unavailable. I do hope they put WiMax for us, though...

Baby sis had the measles...thank God she's over it now. Mom's birthday is today...a still-stunning 43-year old woman, she is...gonna buy her fave cake from Secret Recipe...prolly Caramel Cheesecake or Cheese-Choc Cake...Mmmmmm!

Still afraid of commitment...i think i was born to be a spinster! But i would hope and love to throw caution to the wind if i find him...sigh!

BTW, i'm utterly flabbergasted at Heath Ledger's passing...shocked as hell! His poor daughter. I don't think it was suicide, though...sometimes accidents just happen. But, I pray that he rests in peace...and may his family find solace in his legacy, and each other...Amen!

So, till the next post (i hope it'll be sooner than next year)...g'bye!

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There's a possibility that my Saturday classes would be scheduled on a weeknight...

YAY!!!

Ther's a posibility that French class students get to go on a trip to France...

YAY!!!

But!!! There's a possibility of going to Vietnam instead, in case the budget is way too low...

BOOOOOOO!!!

However, while i was on my way towards the last class of the week, i heard knocking at my room door. Thinking it was someone selling stuff, i ignored. Due to the persistance of the knocking, i finally opened it, only to reveal that...

I HAVE A NEW ROOMMATE!

What????

NOOOOOOOOOO.....

I had gotten so used to staying alone in my 2 people-per-room dorm, that i couldn't accept it. Again, i say...

NOOOOOOOOOO.....

Now, i can't change my clothes in my room, i can't dance around, i can't act like a goofball while i talk to my baby sis on the phone...i hate it! But i sure hope to God that she's a nice girl. To add a little intimidation, this roommie is a senior, and sure looks serious.

Geez, i hope she isn't bully, a dirty pig, or any of those...coz from the hell some of my friends go through with their roommies, having one sounds like a nightmare.

I hope my roommie is nice...pleeeze let it be, God!

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I call myself an idiot, a moron, lazy, stooopid every single time i make a mistake...it's about time i stop!

I seem to be to hard on myself. I already am the sane eldest sister, who forgoes drinking alcohol while driving, forbids underaged-drinking when my sis and her freakin' friends beg me to provide them with liquor...i'll face it now...

I AM A GOOD CATHOLIC GIRL!

So, in keeping with the new year theme, (which has ended a few days ago...) I have developed a new year plan for myself...MY very own set of commandments...to MYSELF!!!

I shouldn't go as far as calling myself an idiot all the time, coz as i know, i have gone through a hard time...with such flair, that i shock myself...

• I should create a new affirmative mantra, play a great affirmative soundtrack to my life in my head, and loop it to playback. Over and over and over again!

• I am not fat...i am normal...i am not dark...i'm tanned and i'm a bronzed goddess (LOL!)...I AM SMART and INTELLIGENT!

• I will not use my body as a trash can to dump garbage into; i.e. JUNK FOOD!

• I will not pine for any man...I will find love with a great, kind, smart guy who i can truly connect with, and we will at least have something called a relationship...I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO LOVE!

• I will not sum people up by their first impression...coz, of course, most of the time, IT"S DEAD WRONG!

• I will keep reading great books, because it enriches my mind and takes me to places i've never been.

• I will not take my family for granted, coz they're just plain freakin' great!

• I will ace every single test i take!

• I will remain a good person for the rest of my life (well, at least for 2008!)

• I will not compare myself to any other individual---for it either makes me too arrogant, or too jealous.

I will try to keep these rules sacred, for these are my commandments to myself...for the year 2008...God help me!

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Hello to the new year...i haven't had the chance to update for so long. However, aside from my dull lifeless-life last year, i'm hoping the new year brings something different in the horizon.

We did not celebrate the new year...i came home from campus, went for new year's eve mass, and went back to uni the very next day.

Few days later, went to the mall with friends, and finally watched a terrific and fun movie...I Am Legend. I tell ya, the whole movie was an adrenaline rush during the darkseekers' appearances...Whoah! All of a sudden, they appear jumping right on screen..ALL OF A SUDDEN! Things like that jolts me right away, and sorta gives an adequate adrenaline rush that lasts for days.

I hate that Sam died though. nevermind about Will Smith...

The next day, i had to chaperone my sister and her friends to dinner. Mom let me drive her car. And you now those girls who are basically hooligans...Meh, explaining would too long a story, and it certainly would increase my anger like that night itself. I must say, they seem rather like a bunch of monkeys! And they even wanted me to buy them alcohol...Wtf? NO WAY, BITCHES!!!

That's the last time i ever go out with them! My parents trust me, but i sure hope they wouldn't trust little missy here to go out with her friends, unchaperoned!

Now, i'm here...updating this diary of mine. If i get the chance, i'll try to do it more often, if not...well, you know why.

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I truly can't believe my classes start on New Year's Eve!

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

How could this be? I have to go back, and come home for the countdown? Oh, shizzz...absolute shizz!

Anywayz, how in the world does the time pass so quickly? Just yesterday, I was registering for university, and now...one semester has gone...

Wanna know something? My sister's godfather, some rich hotshot-dude ofered to pay for her higher education...he tells her not to pick a lame college, but a good one. Wow! Plus, he offers to buy her a car!

I'm like, WTF? I'm kinda mad, coz i sorta bust my ass to get a place in a government university, whereas, she barely gets her high school certification results, an she's offered free tuition for a private college, a car, and a guaranteed job at his company...she's also offered her godfather's list of clientelle, if he should retire...all in the same year!

And again, i'm like...WTF?

How fair and just the world is...is this a test for me, that she gets everything on a platter, and i must bust my ass for years?

Hmmmm...makes me wonder!

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I keep getting the message "...memory could not be written..." blablabla. I hate it. I suppose it's the video editing program i'm using. At least that's what i read. It seems plausible. The codec is not really compatible with my OS, i guess. It takes a lot of my time to keep handling this problem. Perhaps i should switch programs or something...aaarrrggghhh!!!!!!!

My results are out...not very good, but not so bad either, considering i didn't really study. I was busy doing my job while having the test!!! So i got a 3.36 GPA, which is not what i wanted, but hey...who asked me not to study? Serves me right!

Anyway, this paves the way to a brand new semester, with brand new subjects! I like...

It's 2.20am, and i can't sleep! I don't know how i'm gonna get up at 7.00am to go to church. Man, i can't keep up this sleep routine, or else...how the hell am i gonna get up for classes once school starts?

What am i listening to? KT Tunstall's Saving My Face...nice!

Okay, gotta go now...

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I'm talking about a baby walker...so great that baby can already use it...she's just so cute!

Anyway, yesterday, mom took us to her annual xmas party for the embassy staff and their families...suffice it to say, baby took all the attention. She was first sought after for her cuteness, then she was being a diva and cried the whole time (she hates people surrounding her!). So what did my mom do? She had yet to finish what she had to do there.

She was supposed to do some presentation with the rest of the staff, so she gave me permission to drive baby and my other sister home! Whoa, big step on mom's part...for her to let me drive her car from KL to home, lol! She says she trusts my driving skills, it's just her motherly instincts that kicks in when she forbids me...she just doesn't trust the other drivers...

I'll have to admit it, she's right! Though, i'm glad that I managed to do it nicely...some cars or motorcycles just come out of nowhere to scare the bejesus out of me...hell no! If baby wasn't in the car, ...

They are just plain jackasses who are suicidal, and don't give a shit about others.

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I must admit, this year, xmas sucks pretty bad! Despite having a new member in the family, our xmas is pretty dull...no baking cookies, no xmas shopping, nothing. Why? It's two things; my dad's brother passed away last Dec 28th...dad says, we should mourn for at least a year before we celebrate anything, xmas included. But in my mind, i think, aren't we celebrating the birth of our Lord?

Why deprive ourselves of the joyous birth of Christ? I dunno...the second thing is finances. This year has been pretty bad on all of us, financially. My dad is gonna take a drastic measure, and sell his music school. He has lost the passion of running his music school beacuse his so-called partners, ain't doin' a thing on their part... they're doing zip! My poor dad has been running about town since it opened few years back, and now, after countless times of trying to salvage his business, he's finally opted to close the school in hopes of a new project...i hope he makes it, coz he sure needs to get a break from all his tiresome stuff! May God be with him...

Another thing, i seriously would say, even before the date approaches, that xmas would suck big time this year, but then again, our luck could change...it changed a whole lot when we found out mom was pregnant, didn't it? I hope to find out more pleasant surprises soon. Thank God for babies...

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So far, i haven't been able to do a single subtitling project...i'm so busy with taking care of my baby sister, since the nanny decided to go back to her homeland. So now, while waiting for another future maid to come along (someone we know from the Phils.), i'm taking care of her!

Great, i love my sister to death! She's such a naughty one, this girl...i think she'll turn out crazy like me...hahaha! She's teething now, so it's quite a tough period now...with xmas around the corner, i'm on a pretty hectic schedule.

Well, c'est la vie...i'm 20, so i should be so lucky that i can practice taking care of my sister to apply it to my future babes i'll have next time (in like a few decades!!!!!)

Am going out this Saturday...haven't been out for a while now...always being at home has made me fearful of the world we live in...rape, torture, bitchfests, gossip...the world is getting ugly! I don't want an ugly world for my sister, my future children, and future generations. But what could someone like me do?

The only way you could say something remotely inflential is if you had loads of money+power, or if you are a celebrity. Mediocre, young'uns like me can only hope to attain certain status just to be heard, just to pull people to do something good. But, i'm still a student, in a humble (or maybe even below-par) university.

I know I can make it somehow, but i'm afraid that power or money would change me, as it always does to people.

Maybe i'm making too much out of nothing? Yes...maybe!

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Don't get me wrong, it's not something nasty, if you know what i mean... i mean the candy bar, Twix! Okay, so i've loved it for a long time now, but i've never professed it! Lol!

In real news, i chopped my long hair off, for a shorter, layered cut...now, with the old highlights, i think i look younger...but one thing i hate is the cut is sorta Cameron D., which i'm not into, but i guess i'll grow into it! It's been straightened too! Sigh, the lengths women go through...(no pun intended!)

Oh, but you don't know the interesting part...first off; it was a friday, and every friday, this particular night market opens through the whole neighborhood...Flashback to early in the day; i parked my car (mom's car) in that spot, not realizing anything, as it was still early.

5 hours on, i still didn't realize...till i went to get the car, and i was blocked and surrounded by the night market stalls...Luckily, my friend was there, as my sister took the liberty of riding in her boyfriend's car! What is a girl to do? What else, but have a panic attack!!!

Finally, seeing my whole traumatized face, a kind DVD peddler, who happened to be blocking my car took pity, and went all the way to the end to tell them to move their stalls to the side so my car could get through...

As i shifted my car slowly, i was so relieved that, although they were pissed, they were kind enough to take pity this idiot, who made a simple mistake...i'm so lucky i'm a good driver, and deftly took the car through this 'tunnel of shame' without damage...

After proclaiming "Holy Jesus Christ!" around a thousand times, i managed to get outta there, thanking everyone with my wound-down window screen while apologizing. My friend was totally shut down, flabbergasted, wondering how i could manage to get the car through the small space...as never in a million years could she manage that...

I proclaimed that i was a good driver, but i didn't have a good brain in my head (sometimes, in cases like this!)

So, after getting out, i thanked the people, and thanked the LORD!!! Phew!!! I swore that i'd never tell mom and dad what happened. My sis and her bf were supposed to help, but, guess we didn't need any! The secret's safe with them!

Thank you, Jesus!!!!!!!!!!

Amen!!!

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The ever so popular HINDRAF is getting a lot of press since the demonstrations lately...I for one have this to say...

Malaysia is respected throughout the world as a country of multiple races, religions and cultures. I love it! We have been making a mark for the year 2007. But what I am really not happy about is this; you request the Queen of England to represent you AGAINST Her Majesty's own government for the exploitation done amongst the Indians brought into Malaysia more than 50 years ago...demanding trillions of dollars?

What? You know something...that's why we are not getting anywhere.The only way we get somewhere in life is the hard way...by working hard, playing hard, and getting our jobs done! I appreciate that the Indians stand for something together as one...but this? Suing the British government? Now, at this moment? My hats off for your audacity, but...Maybe i am a little sceptical...NO, i am very very cynical about this...It will never go down that way. No British gov is gonna pay trillions for that!

And despite all the news, there was no violence on the Indians' part...they were all adamant on having a peaceful demonstration, till tear gas was thrown to disperse the crowds. Maybe all they wanted was the world to hear their woes...

What I will say for sure is...sometimes, when things are too good in a certain country, you kinda take the peace for granted. That's all I have to say for now. I just wish that instead of asking for money, we as a people should learn to slowly diffuse this ticking timebomb...every single issue here could invite danger, and that is why we should choose our battles, hold talks as intellectuals for the people, and not be like 'the blind leading the blind'.

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Just today, I watched Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights on HBO.Ok, ok...it's quite an old movie, but so what? I wouldn't have understood anything if I watched it when i was around 6-8 or some age of that sort.

What should I say, other than...OMG, that was a great tragic-romance-story!!! Ralph Fiennes...Heathcliff...they were one in this movie, I totally fell for him! Even turning into the antagonist made me feel like I understood his torment...and Binoche was great too!

Why is it, that creepy romances make me believe in love even more than any happy romantic movies?

Geez, i'm so weird!

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