Life's Sick Lil' Games...

Hello to the new year...i haven't had the chance to update for so long. However, aside from my dull lifeless-life last year, i'm hoping the new year brings something different in the horizon.

We did not celebrate the new year...i came home from campus, went for new year's eve mass, and went back to uni the very next day.

Few days later, went to the mall with friends, and finally watched a terrific and fun movie...I Am Legend. I tell ya, the whole movie was an adrenaline rush during the darkseekers' appearances...Whoah! All of a sudden, they appear jumping right on screen..ALL OF A SUDDEN! Things like that jolts me right away, and sorta gives an adequate adrenaline rush that lasts for days.

I hate that Sam died though. nevermind about Will Smith...

The next day, i had to chaperone my sister and her friends to dinner. Mom let me drive her car. And you now those girls who are basically hooligans...Meh, explaining would too long a story, and it certainly would increase my anger like that night itself. I must say, they seem rather like a bunch of monkeys! And they even wanted me to buy them alcohol...Wtf? NO WAY, BITCHES!!!

That's the last time i ever go out with them! My parents trust me, but i sure hope they wouldn't trust little missy here to go out with her friends, unchaperoned!

Now, i'm here...updating this diary of mine. If i get the chance, i'll try to do it more often, if not...well, you know why.

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After my so-called hell-week, i'm finally home, sleeping on my bed!!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

The problems i've accumulated throughout the semester of my first year has gone far, far away, thanks to my ability to solve problems, hehe!

Now, i'm just gonna chill, then i'll go to a few friends' houses to visit them for their Hari Raya celebrations; great!!!

Right now, i'm downloading some songs...ever heard the cover of Rihanna's "Umbrella"? I like it! Sounds like Mandy Moore, but the radio DJ said 'twas some girl from YouTube...I dunno, I just know I like it.

Uhmmm, since it's early registration for the next semester, i'm thinking if I should take French lessons earlier, because I can't wait to learn it! However, it seems the classes are at 11pm!!! I mean, is that even possible? WTF, dudes! 11pm? How the hell am I gonna get transportation over there? My dorm is like 4 kilometres from my faculty...gahhh!!!!

What music am I listening to now? Lenny Kravitz' "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over"...one of my favorite chillout-mellow-touchy-feely songs...

Btw, I was thinking...should I get a 1-month long job for the holidays, or should I just stay home? This is, however in December, so no rush...you know what, i'll think of it then!

At least i'm updating this who-knows-who-the-hell-reads-this blog...I sorta love this blog coz it's my only release...so bear with me! Any comments? Lol!

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First thing's first; sorry for not updating for so freakin' long...it's been hell thinking about this poor blog, rotting away...but, here I am now!!! I've been very sick during the last week, from headaches to fever, to headaches, to tummy aches, to many other aches...

FINALLY!!! The money has been credited...bought most of the stuff I needed, paid my fees, and gave a grand to help Mom pay the bills and shit like that. Now i'm left with only a few hundred bucks, and that, I suppose I have to give to my sis (and maybe Dad too)! Lol, nothing left for me...Never mind, as long as i've settled the fees, I guess i'm ok...

What did I do that took most of my time away from you, blog? Here goes...

I was finishing an assignment. A very difficult one, it was!!! Me and my group had to do a multi-level-analysis on the Bosnian conflict...LOL! Dudes, this was NO easy task...journals upon journals, books to books. We basically had to use up everything in our brains to connect the dots. I tell ya, at one point, we didn't sleep for two days and one night! But, you know, I had a great group, finished on time, presented our work, handed out the work papers and got a 50-50 remark from the prof. Not what I was looking for, but it works for now!

Now I have to finish this assignment on Malaysia's foreign policy from the era of the first prime minister to the latest...I'm doing it alone...but not before another group task of Islamic Spain! How nice this is...LOL! I love I.R.!!!

I miss my family. I didn't go back for two weeks because of all the work. I hope my baby sis didn't forget her eldest sister...

You know what? I'm thinking of not joining the foreign service. I think a person of my race will not have a chance of promotion in this country (I could be wrong, though!)...I would love to travel the world on behalf of my country, and become somebody respected worldwide, though...I would love that very much! But, maybe something else would come along. Though, it would break Mom's heart, coz she really hopes that her daughter would become an ambassador...Anyway, it's all just something i'll consider, it's not final.

I still haven't found a single guy that fits my "LIST"...you know, "the list"...the whole brains, looks, kindness, good sense of humor, caring, etc...you know...that one! I think there aren't guys like that in this world...i'm not perfect, but I wish that I could experience that feeling of someone being in love (cue to Bjork's It's Oh So Quiet...)! That would be fun!

I'm a little committment-phobic. When I like someone, and he likes me back...for some reason I back off! Geez, i'm such a freaky weirdo! My younger sister is now in a four-year relationship...She has put me to shame...I think my baby sis will find her husband before I ever get a boyfriend...I need to do an analysis on myself and write a thesis!!!

I have such a thing for books, I can never get enough...some of the librarians now know me by name, I think! I'm reading Deliverance now...not done with 1984 by Orwell...had to give back Animal Farm coz I had to borrow more important stuff for my assignments...i'll get back to reading that as soon as I can!

Song playing in my MP3 player: Claire De Lune by Debussy...okay, okay for a rock-chick, what's wrong with a little classical piano? I like to keep things eclectic, baby!

So far, so good (jinx!!!)...I hope all goes well for now...till then, Toodlez bitches!!!

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I have so much to be angry at; my angst towards the world just keeps getting bigger by the day! Don't you sometimes feel like the world is out to get you? Coz sometimes your luck is like, "Whoa, Nelly!!!"-- I mean, sometimes it's too good to be true...but then you hit a spot where all the good turns bad, you know what I mean?

I just don't get it...is life really a cycle of good times and bad? I just can't seem to enjoy the happy times coz I keep waiting for the bad to come...it's me in paranoid-mode, and I hate it! I hate being cynical about everything...I hate it so much!!!

Me whining ain't much help for me...I just want to purge my negativity in this blog, coz this is all that i've got...my friends here are ok, but I really miss my childhood friends, now doing their own thing--everyone's always too busy to hangout (even me!)

Varsity life isn't so depressing, mind you...it's the circumstances that makes things suck!
Why can't there be good, and nothing else? Why do all good things come to an end? THAT is my question!

I don't really know what the hell i'm talking about. Nowadays I talk crap all the time...seriously! Just today, I was at this tutorial talking about...I don't even remember! Then, when it came to giving questions or comments, I sort of was trying to understand what another student was saying...ok, that was done---then, I stupidly opened my mouth to make an analogy that didn't even make any sense at all! I mean, WTF, dudes...what the hell did I do? I didn't make sense at all! I couldn't even salvage my statements by covering that up! No, I didn't...I just shut the fuck up, and held my frickin' tongue in case I said another stupid thing!

A pretty long post, this one...but I don't fuckin' care, coz it's my blog, and i'll blog long if I want to!

Now, back to my whining... I recently asked my friend to take comfort in prayer, but then I realized that I don't pray as much as I should- I mean, it's not sincere...Sigh, I don't know, I guess maybe it's some sort of a phase or something.

My student loan has NOT been credited yet! Calling the line of the officers supposedly responsible for my problems have gone, unanswered...those answering the hotline keep playing the "not our fault, it's the bank's fault" line on me...I just stand there, not knowing if I want to laugh or cry...and I ended up laughing, coz they are too predictable!

A friend has given me a few media contacs, for me to complain...so I will! My Mom told me to wait it out till this week, but i've been waiting for my freakin' money for a month, and I can't even get a straight answer from those idiots! So, since my Mom's advise is crucial to me making a decision, I wil wait it out...but only till this week! After that...you know...

What am I listening to?
My Sharona by The Knack...i'm bobbing my head and tapping my feet like an idiot in the Cyber place, and people are staring like i'm high on something...LOL! What a freak I am...but I don't care!

Oh, shit, a headache's coming...I'd better go back to my dorm and read educational stuff...and meditate, or pray, or do something good!

Toodlez, bitches!

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Please don't tell me everytime I want to login to my web stuff, i'll have to wait for hours!!!

Life here in campus ain't so bad, though...i've made a few friends, and lost a few, since we don't hangout as much...

I miss my family like hell!!! And I can't wait to get back on Thursday, hangout with my bestest best friend to watch you-know-what; the all-grown-up wizard with the unusually bushy brows, and a weird fetish for horses...LOL!!!

I feel so isolated in this uni, though...I just don't get living outside of the city...I can't imagine some people settling for solitary lives in rural areas, but hey...different strokes, eh? I respect that!

Cute guys, you say? NIL...absolute zero...but i'm not looking! (Yeah, right...)

People just can't comprehend that i've never had a boyfriend...I sure could...i've been alone all this while and good at it to let some guy come spoil it all---independence, baby!!!

Every night, i'm gonna gather up some gals to go hangout at the hawker stalls provided here...yeehaw!

Then, one of my friends had to tell me about hauntings in the girls' dorm...and she fuckin' knew that I was all alone in my room; no roomate! But, you know...I always pray, and I have a strong heart, so, although I act all scared and stuff, I know there's always something there to protect me...you know, GOD!

So that's all for now...the only reason I was up to blogging today was because my Sony Walkman was running out of battery, and needs to be recharged...well, it looks as if it's full now, so buhbye!!!

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I am going...going to university...I can't believe it!

I got accepted into UKM, Malaysia's current 'it' public university, having surpassed, the 'Harvard' of Malaysia, UM...so, does that make UKM today's 'Harvard' of Malaysia? ...hehe!

I was supposed to put 8 choices in my course and uni selection...I only had two in my mind. UKM was NOT included, as I thought I wouldn't stand a chance...since I had to pick four as the minimum, I chose UKM's International Relations as my almost-random 3rd choice...I've been to the faculty i'm interested in...it's kinda funky in an old kinda way...It looked old+ugly-assed! Lol...but i'm grateful to God! Mom keeps scolding me for being too superficial! Quite true...lol!

I credit HIM (duh, God!) because this was HIS plan all along; get me all confused about things for a while, let me consider private colleges and discover I haven't got the money for all that shit...then ask HIM for guidance...

Then, HE goes around and gives me this; BA of Social Science w/h Honors in International Relations, buddie!!! The right course for those wanting to be in the Diplomatic Corps., multinational corporate companies, political think-tanks...etc...Yeah, baby, just what I wanted, but gave up coz I thought I didn't have a chance in this country coz-you-know-why...but now, I sure as hell am gonna try!!! Bring it on, bitches!!! Heeeere's Johnny!

Can you believe it? MYR 7,000.00 with a 3.5% interest to be paid for around 20 years? It is a big deal that I don't have to spend soooo much on my higher education...the gov subsidizes around MYR 20,000++ for my education!

If i'd gone to Taylors or Monash, I would've spent almost a 100K for everything, including books, and other shitty-assed fees! Now that would be alright if I was a rich girl...but i'm not!

My parents told me they were proud of me! I was so happy to hear that!

God has truly blessed me, and for that, i'm thankful!

Oh, and my boss asked me to work part-time, subtitling movies, and he said he'll get me a laptop to work on the movies...Yay!!! A l'il money on the side...Lol! And he said he'll write me a recommendation letter...but that's coz I asked, yo!

What else? Oh, i'm scared of the imminent ragging i'm about to receive...that's if ragging still goes on out there...I heard it is...Shit-Damn-Fuck!

Other than that, everyone's great...baby is great, sister was late, so, since I was awake making my brekkie, I volunteered to send her...in the nick of time, she reached her school w/o being tardy.

Ummm, that's about it, I guess! I love my blog!

See ya!

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