Life's Sick Lil' Games...

You should see my parents...they are so adorable! So in love, you wouldn't believe. One morning, I went into their room to take the laundry (yeah, I do the laundry...everybody's laundry!!!) and I saw them cuddling while sleeping. Isn't that cute? My parents, people!!!

And now i'm sitting here, wondering why i'm such a cynical, sarcastic bitch, when it comes to matters like romance, love...maybe love isn't for me? So far, I haven't even come close to anything like that, what more, the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, hearing trumpets (???) and shit like that.

My sister has this idea that i'll turn out as a bitter old woman, who's still a virgin...and i'll also be the neighborhood cat-lady! Hahahahaha...that's funny! But, do you know what's funnier? When your mom tells you that as well...

For someone who seems to be a love-cynic, I do talk about it a lot, don't I? Maybe it's because I want to be proven wrong. Maybe it's because of the constant pressure from my mom, sister, friends (some of them!), cousins, godfather. Why is everyone rooting for me? Why, why, why? It's kinda sweet, but still annoying!

All these questions that will never be answered!

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The fact that I am utterly bitter and cynical has got me to ask this question, "Am I a shrew?" I made a mistake by making myself seem that I was performing a soliloquy...coz my mom who happened to pass by said, "Oh...do you even have to ask?"

This, I must admit, is a bitter pill to swallow! Ever read "The Taming Of The Shrew"? I'm the shrew! I'm the shrew!

What can I do? I'm nice most of the time, but if one thing gets on my nerves, the fun girl turns into "the Hulk"...my whole day turns dark! Maybe I've bipolar disorder...who knows?

Perhaps some Xanax would help...

One thing for sure, a few minutes listening to my favorite songs, I turn back to the normal, fun-loving girl that you once knew...

Gee, music does tame the wild beast! Perhaps I should find me a musician boyfriend, Lol! Ok, ok, just because my dad is (or was) a musician, don't get all Freudian with me!

That's it! I'm joining the Heartless Bitch Club!

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How nice it would be if my life was like a romantic comedy...LOL! Could you say Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, and all the other rom-com shit? Gawd, that would be fun!!!

Having friends tell me i'm more likely to get killed by terrorists then finding somebody...then, out of sheer serendipity, i find Mr. Right! Or maybe he was in front of me and i didn't realize it until he was halfway around the world, then i would go after him...begging the flight attendant that i can't miss the plane coz i'm after the man i love? Yup, that would be just how i would want my life to be!

Alas, life does not imitate art...in my 20 years on this good Earth, i have only known a few decent guys...some of them gays, some are taken, some are friends (my principle: dating friends result in losing a friendship. Go figure!)...Some are after one thing, and that just makes me sick! Some think that they are all that! Some think that they can touch, grab, pinch, or jerk-off in front of young school-girls! Yeah, the latter happened to me before while i was getting home from school with a friend! What we both experienced was traumatizing...Not to mention, there was nothing much to look at, if you know what i mean...LOL!

The grabbing part happened before too, when i was around 13...yeah, a fugly motorcyclist played the "i'm lost" card and took advantage of a young girl's naivety by grabbing her boobs!

You know what's funny? The friend i was walking with earlier told me the same thing happened to her before too! Hahahaha...i guess that is why we both are very cynical towards men. We always think there's an ulterior motive when a guy tries to be all "nice" to us...

So now, what am i gonna do? Just let someone in? Hah, like it's that easy...Well, i hope that my cynicism will not drive me to utter loneliness and self-destruction. I so want the idea of the perfect man...Could it ever happen? Well, someone might prove me wrong, i hope!

All the best to girls (and guys) waiting for their ideals to become a reality!

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