Showing posts with label Peter Pan Complex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peter Pan Complex. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ahoy There, Matey!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Well, what else can I say...i've said every sort of greeting i know!

Anyway, the week is going ok...pretty cold nowadays. The weather has been crazy-wet and cold...but i'm doing ok! Having a blast with the little one, who's so big already! OMG, how time flies...can't imagine my life without her! Thank God for this gift everyday, seriously! That's why i hate it when certain people say shit about me taking care of my sister, saying it's the parents' job. Like hello!!! I only take care of her when i am able to! And besides, I love it! AND my parents take care of ALL OF US, asswipes! Stop talking about shit you don't know or understand, got it?

Don't you hate it when people 'assume' things when they don't know you? Judge you when they've known you for like five minutes? Heck...i've known some people for a decade or more, and i'm still discovering new things about them! Moral: Don'tsimply judge a book by it's cover...things are not as simple as WYSIWYG, ok?

And to add to that note; people change...everyday! Things never stay the same...change is inevitable! But being the Taurus that i am...i hate change, but hey...Shit happens, and so does 'change'. Gotta accept that, even if it's hard at first. That is why i kinda appreciate that i adapt pretty well to new surroundings...if i didn't, i would certainly die in my campus, believe me!

Hmmm...been preoccupied with my obsession for the songs i've acquired, so forgive me...i can't help but like what i like! I don't remember when i've ever loved songs from the same band except Led Zep, but yeah...hahahah! Now i have one...you know what i'm talking about!!! LMFAO!

Well, enough of the songs...been having a sorta blah moment...you know, the whole shock-after-screwing-your-exams kinda thing, coupled with not-wanting-to-grow-up-coz-you're-stuck-in-that-Peter-Pan-Complex mode, and also I-feel-so-ugly-everyday...and who could forget, the very popular what-the-hell-do-i-wanna-do-after-i-graduate dilemma...

Hmmm, pretty typical really...i bet i'm not the only one! I am kinda looking forward to experience working with my old boss and sister for the whole concert of xxxxx in January. It'll provide me with choices...do i want to work the PR sector, media, event management, journalism, diplomatic corps? Whatever it is, I only hope God is out there guiding me throughout my journey. I feel so lost sometimes, not knowing where to go. It's always the same issue with me...me and my future. Where do I wanna go? Who do i wanna be? What will make me happy? What do i wanna achieve? These questions...all unanswered. They kill me sometimes.

The fact that i don't know anything BUT "I wanna achieve something great, and be someone of significance to this world in a good way...be someone great and be something my family can truly be proud of." Is this achievable? And if so, how do i do that, and through what medium? Hmmm, sometimes i envy people who know right away what they wanna do with their lives. Or people who are lucky enough to find their purpose and love their job and such.

Oh God, I do hope i find that...I know I can get what I want if i work hard for it...it's just that i DON'T know what it is...sick, huh?

Another post of a 'lost' soul, finding it's way to the light of the tunnel...we are ALL lost, IMO...just hope i realize it before i waste my energy on something that's NOT worth it! I know posts like these seem pretty redundant, but heck...it's just how i feel at the moment!

Ok...time to contemplate deeply! I have lots of time for that now, LOL!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What Is Life?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What is life?
It is not a wasted soul,
It is not a loveless spirit,
It is not without a freedom that lies within - wanting, seeking, cherishing...

What is life without love?
What is life without crying?
What is life without laughing?
What is life without a need to fly away?

And so I live my life,
Searching for its means,
Searching for its worth,
Searching for its balance...

I am still alone,
I am still hidden,
I am still lost,
I am still searching...

I seek something to call home,
I search for a kindred spirit,
I search for somebody without haste,
I seek the ultimate time to find it.

One question lies within;
Will I ever find it,
This thing that makes life a gift?
Only God knows - I am as complex as one shouldn't be!

And though I haven't reached full circle,
What I search, seek, and hope to find...
An 'end' to call home,
So I can say I lived my life without waste.

What is life?
It is a soul full of peace,
It is a soul full of love,
It is a soul full of questions - answered.

What is life?
It is not wasted soul,
It is not a loveless spirit,
It is not without a freedom that lies within.


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I took it from my old notebook...I wrote it during my first semester in my 'new' surroundings; at my university...

I realized that I still want the same things...although circumstances may change me, the core 'wants' are the same.

I dunno, just kinda feeling sad coz as much as I want to remain a 'kid', I HAVE to grow up and go into the real world and find my ground...maybe separate from my friends and family in the long run, and that just plain sucks!

I hope and pray that I don't get caught up in work that I become one of those people who forget friends and family...

You can bet your ass that i'm gonna cry on my graduation day! I'm already counting the days till I say goodbye to student life (and I haven't even finished my assingments and thesis!)